Chương 299: Side Story: A Magical Catgirl (Non canonical!)

"This feels like a bad idea," commented Kellela.

"It doesn't just feel like a bad idea. It is a bad idea," replied Hayedalf.

"Oh, come on. Don't you want to visit my home world?" argued the fluffy purple fairy kitten sitting atop Kellela's head.

"Your home world that explicitly does not have magic? Magic that you kinda rely on to do anything?"

"Just because no-one could use it doesn't mean there isn't any. That goddess managed to drop a truck on me and bring me here without any problems."

"Personally, I'm more interested in tracking down wherever the gods have gone, and dragging them back to fix my extended pregnancy," said Kellela.

"Especially since your last little adventure has made it even longer."

"We can do that too," reassured Mystery.

"You're being unduly optimistic," pointed out Hayedalf.

"I've already explained that while I've analysed and recreated the magic that was used to pull you to the Ricousian Kingdom, without having a paired receiver on the other side, I have no control over where we come out. It could be your home. It could be the Ricousian Kingdom again. It could be anywhere."

"I still can't believe you got teleported out from my womb and I didn't even notice," muttered Kellela under her breath, the time dilation involved having left her none the wiser to Mystery's short solo adventure.

"But this circle does function as a receiver for us to get back?" checked Mystery.

"Yes, but that's not going to help if we come out somewhere without a breathable atmosphere, or right in front of a dragon."

"Maybe you should do your magical girl transformations before we teleport, then." Hayedalf sighed.

"Infecting an alien culture with your depravity before we even have the chance to say hello? But yes, that would probably be advisable. With our magical girl defences, we should have time for my emergency recall to kick in, no matter how hostile the exit point."

"Great. Then what are we waiting for?"

"Someone to turn up with enough alcohol for me to forget what a bad idea this is, I think," said Hayedalf.

"For friendship and justice and all that jazz," he grumbled, causing his clothing to burst apart into motes of light, which rushed inward to form his lacy black dress, fitting his shrinking form perfectly.

"Hey, you can't just skip half the catchphrase like that!" complained Mystery.

"Why not? It's not as if there's any more demons to slay," replied Lotus Pink, who had transformed silently.

"True. Maybe you need a new transformation line..."

"No thanks," replied Voidfruit Black, who was already charging the circle.

"Right, let's go find someone else for her to inflict her madness on before she takes it out on us." The circle flashed, leaving the room empty. ding"Crap," muttered Peter, freezing with a hand halfway to the front door.

"What's wrong?" asked Cluma.

"Did you forget something?"

"What's wrong is that the System just dinged at me. I'm hardly going to level up before leaving the house, which means there's a high chance it's going to be something complicated."

"In which case it's probably also urgent, so stop complaining and read it." Peter sighed, but he couldn't argue with the logic. Administrative notification: Foreign soul detected at coordinates 2. 109, 11. 720 Administrative notification: Foreign soul detected at coordinates 2. 109, 11. 720 Administrative notification: Foreign soul detected at coordinates 2. 109, 11. 720"Yup, I knew it," he grumbled.

"We have invaders. In the middle of demon territory, nonetheless. Three at once, so I doubt it's reincarnation. I really hope Earth hasn't managed to bypass our defences and gate in. Why am I getting notifications about it, though? Surely dealing with this sort of thing is a job for Erryn's daughter."

"Probably because she wants someone to talk to them, rather than vaporising them. Can I come?"

"I don't see why not," Peter replied. After all, thanks to the Law patch, everyone could comprehend that unbound people were dangerous, and Cluma was sufficiently high level that it would take more than a surprise gunshot or two to pose her any risk. Besides, as Cluma had alluded, if Erryn's daughter hadn't dealt with them personally, and had decided to delegate, she must have deemed them not a threat.

"But Catherine needs to stay." The [Clingy] catgirl, who was firmly attached to Cluma's back, poked her head up above her mother's shoulder and treated her father to a glare.

"No!" she shouted.

"It'll be safe for her," said Cluma reassuringly.

"Your other daughter would have stepped in if they were dangerous, and Charles and Chloe are out already. I don't want to leave Catherine alone."

"Please don't call Erryn's replacement my daughter. It's weird. Anyway, I'm more worried about germs and things," said Peter.

"But fine. Just keep up a death magic shield around her, and run away if anyone sneezes. And please refrain from hugging anyone without explicit permission. From them, not just from the voice in your head." With everyone ready, he invoked [Fabric Shift], sending their group of three to the coordinates specified. The coordinates weren't particularly precise, so Peter had expected to have to conduct a bit of a search to find their invaders. That turned out to not be required.

They'd come out in the main street of a small demon settlement, and there was a very obvious stand-off going on further up the road.

"Is this Redhorn?" mumbled Peter as he tried to recall his geography.

"There's a small dungeon here, so that must be the adventurer's guild. If they are hostile, there were better places to launch an invasion than right in front of a demon adventurer's guild hall."

"I was thinking it looks like they came from inside it," said Cluma.

"Everyone is congregated around the front door. Maybe they tried to join?"

"Or they're very polite, and 'invaded' via the guild teleportation chamber," added Peter. Catherine stuck her head up above her mother's shoulder again and inspected the scene with interest.

"Mummy?" she asked carefully.

"Why are those girls dressed a bit like what you make Daddy wear at home?" Peter blushed.

"I don't think they are, dear," answered Cluma.

"Your Dad doesn't own anything quite that colourful. Or frilly. Or short."

"Oh, heck..." mumbled Peter as realisation dawned, helped along by the way he'd spotted the purple kitten hovering alongside the pink girl.

"That can't be. It's not possible."

"What's not possible?"

"Those are magical girls."

"Like Mummy?" asked Catherine curiously.

"Uh... Not quite that sort of magic," said Peter, wondering how to explain that bit of Earth culture succinctly to anyone, let alone a child who'd only recently graduated from the toddler stage. Swiftly deciding that it wasn't possible, he changed tack.

"On the bright side, magical girls are normally on the side of love and justice and whatever. On the downside, magical girls aren't real, which makes the fact that two of them are standing there rather improbable. Let's go talk to them." There came no response. Peter glanced at his wife. Or, at least, at the patch of road where his wife had been standing up until half a second earlier. It was now conspicuously empty.

Another half second was sufficient for him to extrapolate Cluma's likely behaviour, despite the explicit instructions he'd given her, upon spotting what was, effectively, a fluffy purple stuffed toy.

"Oh well," he muttered.

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"Well, this is odd," opined Voidfruit Black.

"I don't see why," said Paxirazzal, the local guild master.

"It's simple enough. You're suspicious, so until someone turns up to take a look at you, I'm asking you to wait right there."

"Yes, I get that," replied Voidfruit Black.

"We are suspicious. If anything, I'm surprised you're happy with us waiting in the middle of a street, with civilians around. It's just that where we come from, demons are rather unlike you."

"Good job I drilled into you that magical girls aren't the fire-first, ask questions later sort of heroines," said Mystery.

"It wouldn't have made a difference, because we didn't know they were demons until they said they were," pointed out Lotus Pink.

"Might just be a quirk of the translation, of course. Anyway, who are we waiting for, exactly? I kinda got the impression that you were in charge here."

"I'm in charge of the guild here, but the likes of you are far outside of my jurisdiction. We're waiting for either Peter or a dragon."

"A dragon? They must be very unlike our world, too, then. Ours aren't intelligent enough to speak. They're also extinct." Mystery squeaked with surprise.

"Wow! So soft and fluffy!" exclaimed Cluma, who had popped out of Lotus Pink's shadow and grabbed the sparkly mascot from the air before anyone had a chance to react.

"Well, unfortunately it seems you won't get to meet a dragon today. You've got Peter instead, and it seems that he's brought his wife with him," said Paxirazzal.

"I hope you aren't too attached to your personal space."

"Cluma?" demanded Peter as he hurried to the scene.

"What did I literally just tell you about getting explicit permission?"

"But..." she complained.

"But purple and fluffy and glitter poofs out when I hug her!"

"I am aware. That doesn't change the fact that you should ask first. Consent is important!"

"Can I hug you?" she asked the sparkly kitten, who was still very much in her clutches, struggling to escape. Mystery ceased her struggles, mostly out of the pure incongruity of the situation. Despite being somewhat abnormal herself, she had no idea how she was supposed to react.

"I guess so?" she hazarded.

"Yay!" exclaimed Cluma, then squeezed again. A cloud of glitter enveloped her with a soft fwoop noise, causing both cat-sìth and sparkle-cat to sneeze. The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation. Peter sighed, then turned to the pair of frilly girls.

"Sorry about her stealing your mascot. To be honest, I suspect the only reason you haven't been hugged yourselves yet is that those skirts of yours are a bit bulky for her to get a good angle. I shouldn't have brought her."

"Hey!" exclaimed Cluma.

"I'm sure they'll squish, but even if not, there are plenty of options. Clamping legs around their torso. Hanging upside down. Lifting them."

"I reiterate my previous comment," said Voidfruit Black carefully.

"This is odd."

"I'm more interested in you calling Mystery our 'mascot'," said Lotus Pink.

"That implies you know what her body is modelled after. But this is obviously not Earth, and the mascots have only recently inhabited the Enchanted Forest. How do you know that term?"

"Modelled after? No. Wait," exclaimed Peter.

"Earth? How do you know that name? The Enchanted Forest? Did Earth have a magical girl mascot invasion?!" The group stared at each other for a few moments more.

"I think we should go somewhere private to talk," declared Peter. It was a few minutes later, and the group of six were sitting around Peter's dining table. With both children sitting atop their mother's heads—Catherine deciding to emulate Mystery, which didn't quite work given how much bigger she was, but the young catgirl was trying her best—there was plenty of space in the room.

"Huh. So you got isekaied by a truck too," said Peter.

"I know, right?" replied Mystery.

"How stereotypical. There should be some variety!"

"If it helps, I know two people who got isekaied by old age. That's a mildly unusual one."

"True. Oh well. Can't believe we ended up bumping into someone from Earth, though. What are the chances?"

"With dimensional magic being completely new to us, the chances might actually be quite high," pointed out Voidfruit Black.

"You might attract each other or something. Also, these costumes weren't designed for sitting down in. Is it safe to untransform? I've got spiky petals digging into my bum."

"Untransform?" asked Cluma.

"It's a magical girl thing," said Peter.

"Don't question it." Lotus Pink and Voidfruit Black glowed briefly, then grew, leaving Kellela and Hayedalf in their places. Catherine blinked.

"Mummy? They both got old! And that girl turned into a boy!" Cluma looked a little surprised herself. As did Peter.

"Wait, you were a guy?!" he gasped.

"Hey, I'm not old!" complained Hayedalf, ignoring the comment about his gender.

"I'm not even thirty!"

"Thirty is fairly old," pointed out Cluma.

"Oh, wait, is that in Earth years, our years, or years from wherever you're from?"

"Our years, but Earth years are close enough, as best as I can tell," said Mystery.

"Anyway, can I ask a question of my own? You're beastkin, right?"

"Eh... She is, while I'm a bit debatable," Peter answered.

"I'm kinda jealous. I wanted to be a catgirl when I reincarnated, but the goddess wouldn't let me."

"But you are a cat," pointed out Peter.

"No, I'm... Actually, you know what? Let's not even mention that." Peter frowned, then took another look with [Mana Perspicacity] and [Soul Perception]. Then he looked at Kellela and frowned further.

"Yeah," he said.

"I don't want to know, although I guess that explains what you meant by 'modelled after'. So, you ended up in a new world, and decided to introduce them to magical girls by transforming your own parents?"

"Parents?" asked a confused Cluma, on account of not having the same soul perception skill as Peter and hence not realising the kitten was artificial and remotely piloted.

"There were extenuating circumstances. I didn't just decide."

"Not the first time you tried transforming Rose," said Kellela.

"That one was purely on you."

"So, magical girls are... young females of any age or gender, who dress up in pretty dresses to fight monsters using the power of friendship?" asked Cluma, trying to put together the scraps of information available thus far.

"And new magical girls give birth to mascots?"

"Eh. You were broadly correct up until that last sentence," answered Peter.

"Wait, what?!" exclaimed Mystery.

"How can you treat such a broad topic with such disrespect! It all started with... mmpfh!"

"Sorry, but if we let her get started, we won't get anything else done today," said Kellela, her hand firmly over Mystery's mouth.

"Ha, as if I'm that easy to silence!" exclaimed Mystery, switching to telepathy.

"In fact, this way is even better because I don't need to stop for breath!" Hayedalf tutted.

"Oh well. Here we go. Sorry in advance." Cluma and Catherine listened to the spiel with interest. Peter listened for a few seconds, before deciding he'd rather like to preserve whatever remained of his sanity and so used [Mana Authority] and [Master Mana Finesse] to cut himself out of the raging telepathic monologue so neatly that the monologuist didn't even notice his absence.

"That was a neat trick," observed Hayedalf.

"I have my moments. Anyway, while my fellow Earthling is busy making our planet's reputation even worse, do you think we could have a more sensible conversation? How did you get here, and why?" And so three adults held a sensible conversation, all unaware of what the three more colourful members of the group were talking about. Alas for Peter, hearing about the foreign world was sufficiently riveting that he failed to notice the growing gleam in the eye of his wife.

"Wow. Eighteen years... No wonder you're desperate," said Peter with feeling.

"Yeah. At least I picked up [Interdimensional Traveller] myself when we teleported here, but I really need to get it sorted out properly."

"Funny how the Systems of our two worlds have such similarities despite such massive differences. I wonder why your gods built yours? Specifically as a tool against your demons?"

"That's a question that could cause a dozen schisms and a holy war before breakfast," said Hayedalf.

"Some of our priests get about as worked up about theology as our daughter does about magical girls." The trio turned to Mystery, who turned out to be staring intently at Peter.

"Uhh..." said Peter. Cluma nodded seemingly at nothing.

"I think, perhaps, that cutting myself out from their conversation may have been, with hindsight, an error," said Peter, wondering how impolite it would be to use [Fabric Shift] to make a break for safety, possibly to the opposite side of the planet.

"Me first!" exclaimed Catherine, detaching from her mother and landing on the floor with a little twirl. The child willingly standing on her own feet rather than parasitising one or the other parent was sufficiently unusual that for a moment, Peter forgot about escaping.

"For friendship and justice, evil-slaying magical girl Chibi Claws, transform!" exclaimed Mystery. Catherine laughed as her clothing burst apart into motes of light, dancing among shining ribbons as they wrapped themselves around her. A bow tied itself to the end of her tail. A bell went jingle. Her hair started to lengthen. Something gave the magical equivalent of a clunk, and the light-show stuttered.

"Uhh..." said Mystery. And then the spell broke, leaving the confused cat-sìth back in her original clothes.

"That was weird," said Mystery.

"The only time I've seen the spell break like that is when someone tried to use it for evil, and if that little girl is evil, I'll eat my own wings."

"Yeah, I think you might have the opposite problem," Peter said.

"Kellela mentioned that the spell weakens if you cast it for the fun of it, rather than for a real use. You lot can comprehend that there is a real use, though, which is likely to help. Catherine can't."" Can't? I mean, she's a bit young, but I've cast it on children before. It normally works fine."

"It would take too long to explain, but the short version is that the locals don't really have a concept of 'evil', so an 'evil-slaying magical girl' isn't something they can imagine."

"How can you not have a concept of evil?" asked Mystery.

"Is Cluma okay?" asked Kellela.

"She looks a little out of it." Cluma, who had been staring blankly at Peter, blinked.

"Aww. That's disappointing. I wonder why it doesn't work on us? I was looking forward to trying it out on Peter." She sighed while a dejected Catherine tottered back over and made pick-me-up grabby hand motions.

"Uh..." said Hayedalf carefully.

"Did she just...?"

"Yes," sighed Peter.

"It's exactly what it looks like. Darn it. Now I'm going to need to invent magical girls for them, or they'll both be moping about it all week."

"Invent?" asked Cluma, perking up a little.

"How do you intend to manage that? I know you have [Mana Authority], but you still can't cast spells you haven't bought. Oh, we could ask your brother!"

"That's one option," said Peter carefully, despite suspecting Darren wouldn't be able to learn the spell for the same reason Catherine couldn't receive it.

"But I was thinking we could replicate the effects without the spell. A 'transformation item' that's just a storage device full of corpusclite. Enchantments to remember a shape, some lighting effects, some colouring, and I'd bet we could fake something up."

"But it wouldn't turn you into a girl, would it?" asked Mystery.

"No. But some people might consider that an advantage."

"If you're going to throw away everything that being a magical girl entails, I might as well just cast [Cosplay]," whined Mystery.

"You could for now, but not after you leave."

"If I may propose an alternative," suggested a seventh voice. Everyone jumped.

"What the heck?!" exclaimed Hayedalf.

"Who? When did she come in?! I swear the door didn't open, but when you teleported earlier, the mana disturbance was obvious!"

"She's not really here," Peter pointed out.

"Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that she's everywhere. Anyway, why the heck are you getting involved? Didn't you only send me that notification because you wanted me to deal with them?"

"Yes, but I was bored, and this discussion looked interesting."

"That's a terrible reason!" The alleged daughter of Erryn and Peter grinned shamelessly.

"It's also a good opportunity. I've been learning how to operate the ark, and I've reached the point that I believe I can add new skills and classes to the System. This would make a good trial run."

"Oh no. Don't you dare!"

"I could take a magical girl class?" asked Catherine, eyes sparkling. Peter facepalmed.

"You're going to ask Mystery to cast it on me repeatedly, aren't you, so that you can recreate it."

"No, I was going to ask Kellela and Hayedalf to transform back to Lotus Pink and Voidfruit Black a few times. But, since you offered..." Her shameless grin widened.

"In what way was that an offer?!" shouted Peter.

"I'm not sure if I should be relieved or terrified that you're on such good terms with your local goddess," said Kellela.

"But if you want me to transform a few times, I'd be happy to."

"What part of this discussion makes it look like we're on good terms?" retorted Peter.

"Aww. You'll hurt my feelings," said the technically-not-a-goddess.

"I have no idea whatsoever what's going on," said Mystery.

"However, even if his hair is a bit boring, I can certainly work with those cat ears and that tail. I'd already designed costumes for the entire family, not just your little one."

"Good. Then get him!" ordered Erryn's daughter, Cluma nodding enthusiastically from the table.

"For friendship and justice, evil-slaying magical girl Fluffy Ears, transform!"

"Fluffy Ears?! What sort of magical girl name is that?" complained Peter, but half-heartedly as the ribbons of light circled him. Two small strips detached, forming bows that tied themselves around the tips of his feline ears. Another larger ribbon tied itself to the tip of his tail, and a fourth wrapped itself around his neck, a little golden bell forming on the front. It tinkled with an enthusiasm that didn't at all match Peter's face, which was softening as the day's stubble faded and his hair lengthened.

He shrunk a couple of sizes. His chest expanded. The ribbons pulled inward, cloaking the transformed magical girl in a flouncy pink gown. A white apron glittered into existence on top of it, giving the appearance of a costume maid uniform, of the sort that would be completely impractical for any sort of work, but was instead designed simply to look enticing. Motes of light built up around his feet, forming into short heels, tied on with ribbons, that offset a part of his reduced height.

"Daddy turned into another mummy," observed Catherine.

"Pretty." Peter sighed.

"At least it's comfortable," he said, trying to observe himself in a mirror.

"I guess the magic cheats a bit, because trying to poke my tail out through a hole like that is kinda hard without a comfort enchantment to make things stretchy."

"Huh. That's interesting," observed Hayedalf.

"Is it?" asked Peter.

"Yeah. My first time, I had no idea how to walk in heels and kept bashing things with my skirt. You're handling it pretty well by comparison." Peter blushed again while Cluma grinned.

"I don't think this is his first time, dear," Kellela pointed out quietly.

"I collected a lot of data from that, but can you two transform as well, please?" asked Erryn's daughter, so Kellela and Hayedalf did.

"Right, got it. Give me two seconds. And done. [Magical Girl Transformation] is available to any [Apprentice Mage], but I've hidden it from view on the available skills list. It'll take a little longer to build a full class around it, but for now..."

"For friendship and justice, pretty girl Soft Paws transform!" exclaimed Cluma, interrupting her goddess.

"... Well, she certainly didn't waste any time."

"What were you expecting?" sighed Peter as his wife shrunk slightly.

"She had the points available, so why would she have waited?" At that point, the front door clicked and Charles stepped in. He froze in the doorway, not expecting to see a group of frilly girls in his front room.

"Who?" he asked in confusion as he looked around.

"Mum? You've shrunk, and what the heck are you wearing? Wait, Dad? Is that you?!" Cluma grinned.

"If you don't want to end up like this, run!" hurriedly advised Peter.

"Yeah, no," he agreed, taking a step backwards and reaching to close the door. Not quite fast enough, alas.

"For friendship and justice, pretty girl Bushy Tail transform!" excitedly chanted Cluma, causing Charles to squeak as his clothing burst apart.

"Ah! What are you... Oh, wow. This feels weird."

"Consent!" Peter reminded Cluma.

"You're supposed to ask for consent! Sheesh." He turned to the pseudo-goddess.

"Why did you make the skill targetable?!" he complained.

"Because I thought it would be funnier," she answered.

"Don't worry. There will be a proper balancing pass before I finalise it."

"Huh. I feel kinda good, actually," carefully said Charles.

"Like I got a big stat boost all at once. Shame I apparently have to turn into a girl to get it."

"Oh, come on," complained Peter.

"Charles was the normal one. Please don't awaken him to anything weird."

"You're hardly one to talk, Dad," retorted Charles.

"You're wearing a collar in front of guests, and it's not even mating season! Anyway, would someone please explain what the heck is going on?"

"I have no idea where to even begin," sighed Peter.

"I regret ever opening that System message." And thus the residents of Dawnhold, who had grown inured to the threat of random hugs delivered by an invisible catgirl, found themselves with a new source of fear.

"That was a successful trip," declared Mystery, back in the familiar setting of her own home. Or, at least, Kellela and Hayedalf's home. Mystery's 'home' was a bit damp and sticky to be inviting guests over, not to mention cramped. Besides, the landlord wouldn't approve of visitors and was rather protective of the front door.

"How soon can we try again?"

"Successful?" asked Kellela dubiously.

"There were a few rather dodgy aspects to that world in my opinion. I'm pretty sure that 'goddess' we met had everyone under some sort of mind control. And, yes, you got to meet a fellow reincarnator, but he didn't exactly have good news to share about Earth."

"Well, yes, that's all true, but I did get to introduce their world to magical girls, and [Magical Girl Transformation] is already an official System skill over there! How cool is that?" Hayedalf sighed.

"Technically, I could have the enchantments recharged by tomorrow, but please give me at least a little break." Mystery's eyes sparkled in a way that suggested Hayedalf would not, in fact, be getting much of a break.