Chương 58: Tianxu leaves

Tianxu looked at the letter he had left on his desk and sighed.

'I'm sorry. But I have to.' He shook his head and walked to the bedroom door with a firm expression. His backpack was packed, and he felt his trusted sword by his side. It was still the one bought in Kuo County with his brothers many years ago. He could perhaps afford a better one now, but his brother Tianhu had never cared about the quality of the sword, and he managed to comprehend sword intent, so Tianxu wasn't concerned either.

This sword meant a lot to him, and he didn't want another one, no matter how good it was. Tianxu made his way through the hallway on light feet. He shared this wing with his brother Tianzheng and didn't want to wake him. But just as he slid the door to the second living room open, he noticed the room was illuminated by the candle flames on the walls.

'Tianzheng is still awake?'

"Told you." Tianyue's voice sounded from the couch. Tianxu noticed that not only was his brother Tianzheng awake, but Tianren, Tianan, and Tianyue were all there, looking toward him.

"You…" Tianxu opened his mouth, not knowing what to say.

"Are you seriously planning on leaving again?" Tianren asked with a frown, his arms crossed.

"How…how did you know?" Tianxu asked, not trying to hide it.

"It was obvious," Tianyue replied, rolling her eyes, "As soon as father and Tianhu left, I knew it was only a matter of time before you took off again."

"I don't get it," Tianan said, holding a meaty sandwich he was munching on, "Why are you so adamant about leaving all the time? Don't we have it good here?"

"I…I have to," Tianxu said with a sigh. How could he easily explain? He knew it was wrong to take off again; he knew everyone would worry, perhaps even come looking for him and cause his family harm. Even so, he just had to leave.

"You really don't, though?" Tianan questioned, "Why don't you get a wife and start a family? You're 21 years old; that's already very old. You…don't have any issues, do you?"

"What issues could I have?" Tianxu hissed, "I'm perfectly fine. I just don't want to settle down yet."

"If you say so," Tianan said with a shrug. Tianxu felt his face twitching. He honestly envied his brothers quite a bit. Wouldn't he also like to have a woman to share his bed with, start a family on his own, and pass on the family bloodline? But he couldn't. Not like he was now. He felt like he wasn't like his brothers. He wasn't ready to be a husband, let alone a father. He had too many regrets. He wasn't the man he felt he needed to become. Starting a family like he was now felt irresponsible.

"Not ready to settle down? Are you sure you're not just envious of Tianhu?" Tianren asked.

"You've always looked up to Tianhu too much. You're different from him, and you have your own life to live. Don't waste your life trying to imitate someone else," Tianyue said.

"I'm…It's not that simple," Tianxu said. Was he envious of Tianhu? Of course, he was. His brother had always been what he had aspired to be. But that wasn't the main reason for leaving.

"Then explain it," Tianren said.

"I just…" Tianxu frowned. He didn't have the words to explain it. He just knew he had to leave. He had to make his own way. He needed a journey to discover himself and his place in the world. Staying even another day would feel like he was suffocating. It had been manageable when Tianhu was there because he felt that trying to learn sword intent from him wasn't a waste of time. But now, things were different.

The feeling of guilt he had carried with him for years was getting stronger with each passing day that he wasted. The only way to handle it was to leave.

"I have to try to find Uncle Zhangye," Tianxu finally spoke. While it wasn't the whole story, it was the only thing he felt he could explain.

"Xu, Uncle Zhangye going missing isn't your fault," Tianren said with a sigh, "Besides, so many people are looking for him, and they have been looking for years. No one has found him yet, and you going searching won't help; it will only make us have to look for two people." Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!

"Do you really want father and Tianhu to return only to find you missing? Instead of finally relaxing with the family after so much time away at war, they will have to immediately go search for you. Is that what you want?" Tianyue asked.

"Of course not," Tianxu said. He really didn't need anyone to look for him. He had tried his best to explain it in the letter he wrote. Hopefully, his father would understand him and let him experience this journey on his own.

"This isn't the same situation as back then," Tianxu explained.

"I'm leaving, and I want to be left alone. I think father and Hu will understand."

"You…" Tianyue gnashed her teeth in anger, "You're leaving? Just that? Mom will cry tomorrow! Don't you care about that?" Tianxu didn't know what to say. He was in the wrong; he knew that. It was only right to be scolded. Nonetheless, he wasn't going back on his decision.

"I'm sorry," Tianxu said with a low voice, and turned around to leave. There was nothing to gain from continuing the conversation.

"Tianxu, hold on a moment," Tianren spoke. But Tianxu didn't stop; he slid open the door and stepped out to the courtyard.

"Tianxu!" Tianyue yelled. Tianxu instinctively halted, but he shook his head and started running, not wanting to hear anything more. His eyes started tearing up. Hurting his family was the worst feeling in the world, but he couldn't stay. He kept running, faster and faster. It wasn't until he reached the outskirts of the city that he finally slowed down.

'I'm a terrible brother.' He took a deep breath to calm his emotions. From now on, he would be on his own. He didn't know how long he would be gone, but it would probably be many years until he saw everyone again.

"You're so fast, brother," A panting voice sounded from behind, making Tianxu almost jump in fright. Turning around, he saw his sister Tianyi standing there, a bag on her back and a sword at her side.

"Tianyi? What are you doing?" Tianxu asked, panicked.

"I'm coming with you!" Tianyi said, looking up at him with bright eyes.

"No, you're not," Tianxu said hurriedly.

'What is she thinking!? Thankfully, there is still time to get her home before anyone notices.'

"I saw you had a meeting without me," Tianyi said, crossing her arms and pouting, "So I listened in secret. Don't worry, brother. I'll help you find Uncle Zhangye. I'm excellent at finding people."

"Are you crazy?" Tianxu asked, putting a hand over his face, "This isn't playing around, Tianyi. Do you realize how worried everyone will be if you go missing? Father would surely desert his post and rush back to find you, our family would… it's just… Don't think about running away again! I'm serious. Stay home obediently." Tianxu was really anxious. He could just imagine the consequences. He dared run away because he knew that while his father might be angry with him, it wasn't something unforgivable.

But taking Tianyi with him? Tianxu didn't even want to imagine how his father would react.

"I'm taking you home," Tianxu said, grabbing her hand and walking back at a fast pace. He didn't want anyone to discover Tianyi missing and cause a panic.

"Why can you go on an adventure, but I can't?" Tianyi asked with a wronged expression.

"I'm an adult! You're eight!" Tianxu felt like he was losing his mind. He knew his sister was a bit adventurous, but this was crazy.

'I need to tell someone so they can keep an eye on Tianyi in the future.' It might be awkward to come back like this, but Tianxu couldn't care at the moment.

'She's only eight years old…What was I like at eight? Would I ever dare to run away like this?' Tianxu didn't need to think much about it; he definitely wouldn't dare; the thought wouldn't even enter his mind.

"Then why didn't you say that?" Tinaxu could hear Tianyue's voice as he neared the door. It looked like his siblings were all still there.

"I didn't have the chance, did-" Tianren's voice was cut short as Tianxu slid open the door.

"Tianxu…" Tianyue looked over, surprised.

"Tianyi?" Tianren spotted his younger sister and called out.

"What's going on?" Tianyue asked. Tianxu sighed, pushed the pouting Tianyi inside, and explained what had happened.

"Tianyi, are you crazy?" Tianyue called out. All his siblings were greatly alarmed. Even Tianan and Tianzheng were obviously concerned, rushing forward to check on her.

'Do I…go now?' He hesitated slightly, but still didn't leave right away, deciding to stick around for a while to make sure Tianyi was handled properly.

"It's all your fault, Tianxu, leading Tianyi astray," Tianyue scolded him. Tianxu just nodded obediently, taking it. What else was there to do? He stayed for another hour or so, but in the end, Tianxu still left. He wasn't going to go back on his decision just because of this incident. But he left on lighter steps than the first time. His siblings had still scolded him, but through the arguing, it seemed that his own point of view became clearer to the others, and Tianxu didn't need to leave as abruptly.

Tianyue had still yelled 'hypocrite' after him when he left. But her tone had a bit of teasing to it. Instead of leaving with tears, he got to leave with a smile on his face.

'I'm glad I came back and said goodbye properly.' Tianxu once again entered the outskirts of the city and looked out over the land covered in darkness in the distance.

'Here we go. First stop, the Wen Kingdom.'