Chương 179: I Am Ke Yin

The robe fell from her hands the moment she saw me and before I even had a chance to say anything or react at all she had already rushed forward and wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. I could smell the jasmine tea on her clothes and something else underneath it that I could only describe as the smell of home, which was a strange thing to think about considering everything.

"My boy," she said quietly into my shoulder, her voice was thick and unsteady like she was holding back tears.

"You're really here." I hugged her back and I was very careful about the pressure I used because too tight would crush her mortal body, but too loose would come across as cold and distant. That wasn't something I could afford either, not with everything that depended on this going well and seeming natural. Everything had to be right, every small detail had to match what her actual son would have done if he had come home after months away at a cultivation sect.

"Lixue?" a male voice called out from somewhere in the back of the shop.

"Is everything alright? I heard the bell go off..."

"Hong!" she called back over her shoulder, she still hadn't let go of me.

"Come out here quickly! You have to see who's here!" And then the man appeared from the back room, he was tall and lean with sharp facial features that had been softened somewhat over the years by laugh lines around his eyes and mouth, and his fingers were stained with the dyes he used for the finer quality robes that were clearly his specialty.

Looking at him was like seeing what the original Ke Yin might have eventually looked like if his life had taken him toward needlework and tailoring instead of the path of cultivation.

"Father," I said, and the word felt both strange and correct at the same time. He stood there for a moment without saying anything, just looking at me with an expression I couldn't read, and then without any warning or words at all, he stepped forward and joined the hug. The three of us stood there together for what felt like a very long time but was probably only a few seconds. Eventually Mother stepped back and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Look at you!" she said, her voice bright again.

"So handsome, and those robes, you really made it, didn't you!" She wasn't wrong or exaggerating about how I looked, because cultivation doesn't just strengthen the spirit and body, it also refines them in a physical sense, it gradually enhances a person's appearance with each successive breakthrough they achieve. Even at Qi Condensation Stage 6, my skin had taken on that subtle inner glow that was common among cultivators of even moderate ability, and my features had sharpened and become more refined.

It was one of those things that had always seemed a little too convenient back when I was reading cultivation novels, because why were all the powerful cultivators always described as being devastatingly good looking, it seemed like a lazy shortcut for the authors to take. But now that I was actually living inside this world, I understood why it worked that way. The same spiritual energy that gradually strengthened the body over years of practice also perfected it in smaller ways.

Which explained why so many cultivators seemed like they had stepped out of some ancient poem about beautiful immortals.

"The sect has treated me well," I said.

"You must be hungry," she decided for me.

"I was just about to start lunch anyway. Hong, go ahead and close the shop for now, our son is home!"

"Mother, I really can't stay for very long," I tried to protest before she got carried away, "there's a beast wave coming and I have to go help the team set up defensive formations before it arrives, it's actually pretty urgent…"

"All the more reason to eat a proper meal before you go out there," she said firmly, already moving toward the kitchen area before I had even finished speaking.

"You can't fight spirit beasts properly if you haven't eaten, and besides," her voice dropped slightly and became softer, "how can a mother not feed her son when he returns home for the first time?" There was really nothing I could say to that.

"Sit down, sit!" Mother was already pulling out ingredients and setting things on the cutting board.

"Hong, can you get out the good tea set? The one with the cranes painted on it?"

"Mother you really don't have to go to all this trouble…" I started to say, but she cut me off with a look that somehow communicated very clearly that this particular conversation was already finished and I shouldn't continue it. I noticed Father hiding a small smile as he went to retrieve the tea set she'd asked for, which was their best one, a wedding gift from her parents that only came out for occasions that mattered.

"Here," Father said, handing me a cup after he'd poured the tea, the familiar layered smell of his special blend filling the air around us.

"You still remember how to hold it properly?" It was clearly a joke that referenced some childhood memory of clumsiness that I only had vague access to, but my hands moved on their own before I even consciously thought about it, my fingers positioning themselves correctly with the easy grace that came from years of practice I hadn't actually personally experienced. The body remembered even when the mind didn't.

"Some things stay with you," I said, and took a sip. The taste was complex, oolong and jasmine layered together with something earthier underneath that I couldn't quite identify, Father had always treated his tea blending the same way he treated his tailoring, with careful attention and a willingness to keep adjusting until it was exactly right.

"Speaking of things you don't forget," Mother called out from behind the cutting board, "have you been eating regularly at the sect? You look thinner to me." I almost laughed out loud at that because this body was in the best physical condition it had ever been in because of cultivations enhancement effects on the physical form, but I suppose from a mothers perspective, her child would always look like they needed more food regardless of what the objective reality was.

"The sect meals are good," I told her, "though nothing is really comparable to your cooking."

"That kind of flattery is not going to let you skip lunch," she replied from the kitchen, but I could tell that she was pleased by the comment.

"Now tell me about the sect. What are you learning? Have you made any good friends up there? Are the elders treating you properly?" Her hands never stopped moving while she talked, chopping, seasoning, and adjusting the fire under the wok in a continuous rhythm that looked automatic, and watching her now, I noticed small details that the original Ke Yin had probably grown up seeing so often he stopped actually observing them.

The way she unconsciously pushed tiny amounts of qi into the food as she handled it for instance, not enough to count as cultivation in any meaningful sense, just that faint trace amount that accumulates naturally in people who spend their lives living near spiritual lands.

"It's been interesting," I said carefully, trying to work out how to describe sect life in a way that covered the important things without including the parts that would cause unnecessary worry.

"I've been focused mainly on formation studies. It turns out I have a real talent for it."

"Formations?" Father looked up from where he was setting plates on the table.

"Like the protective arrays they have on the granary at the edge of town?"

"Similar in basic principle, yes, but mine are more specialized than those. I work on barriers and early warning systems mostly." I deliberately left out the combat applications because there was no reason to make them worry.

"Always thought you had clever hands," Father nodded, looking satisfied by this.

"Do you remember how fast you picked up the basics of stitching when you were young? Formations aren't actually that different from sewing if you think about it. Both of them need precision and patience and a solid understanding of how all the separate pieces work together to create something functional..." He wasn't wrong about that, the way he had originally taught the young Ke Yin to visualize sewing patterns was similar to how formation masters learned to map out and follow energy flows through a space.

"Hong, you are not turning every single thing into a tailoring lesson," Mother said from the kitchen, though her tone was warm rather than actually annoyed.

"Let him talk about his own life! Have you made friends up there? Perhaps found a girl you like?" I nearly choked on my tea.

"Mother!"

"What? Am I not allowed to be interested in whether my son is happy?" She was already moving dishes from the stove to the table, and somehow while I wasn't paying close enough attention, she had prepared an enormous amount of food.

"Though I understand cultivation has to come first at your age, your father was the same way when I first met him, always completely absorbed in perfecting whatever he was working on at the time..." The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

"Lixue," Father said, his ears had gone slightly red, "I don't think Yin needs to hear all of that."

"Oh? And why shouldn't he? It's a perfectly good story! I never actually told you this, but your father spent three entire months trying to work up enough courage to speak to me even once. And when he finally did manage it, he pretended he needed advice on choosing herbs for a headache."

"I did have a headache," Father said quietly.

"It came from spending three months trying to work up the courage." The way they talked to each other was easy and comfortable and it drew me in despite myself, and I found myself relaxing.

"Everything smells incredible," I said, partly because it gave Father some relief from the story and partly because it was true. Mother had prepared at least six separate dishes and every single one of them looked better than the last.

"Just regular home cooking," she said modestly, though her smile told a different story.

"Nothing special like what they must serve at a big cultivation sect." That was actually debatable. The sect food was technically superior in terms of spiritual energy content and nutritional optimization for cultivators, but it was also designed and prepared according to standardized guidelines for maximum cultivation benefit rather than personal preference.

What was in front of me right now was food made specifically for one person, every dish chosen because it was something that person loved, the twice cooked pork with exactly the right level of spice, the winter melon soup that had apparently been a childhood staple, even the vegetables prepared with what I somehow knew was exactly the right cutting technique for how I preferred to eat them.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"This is perfect."

"Eat!" she urged, already filling my bowl with rice before I could do it myself.

"You need to keep your strength up, how are you supposed to deal with spirit beasts if you're running on nothing?" She gave me all the best portions without making any fuss about it, the most tender pieces of meat and the crispiest bits from the vegetables, and it was such a natural and automatic thing for her to do that it created a feeling in my chest that I didn't have a name for.

"So," Father said as we settled into eating, "tell us more about these formations. A sect with the resources yours has must have extraordinary materials for studying something like that." I was grateful for the safe topic.

"They do have remarkable archives, and I've also joined the Formation Guild which has records going back several centuries. I've been studying under Formation Master Chen Yong directly." As I talked, I realized I had slipped into the natural rhythm of a family meal without deliberately choosing to, their questions showed real curiosity about what I was doing rather than just polite interest for the sake of keeping conversation going.

"I recently achieved the rank of Level 2 Formation Practitioner," I said, and even though I was aware they had no context for what that ranking actually meant in the broader world of cultivation, there was still something that made me want to say it out loud to them specifically.

"Level 2 Formation Practitioner!" Mother reached across the table and patted my hand.

"Our son, achieving things like that already!" The pride on both their faces was almost too much to look at. Father was doing his best to maintain his usual composed manner, but his posture had straightened noticeably. Mother wasn't making any attempt to hide how she felt at all.

"That's my boy," Father said quietly, and the particular tone of his voice created a tightness in my chest that I hadn't been expecting at all.

"So these formations," Mother added more soup to my bowl, "they're going to help keep you safe when this beast wave happens?"

"Yes, that's specifically the reason I was selected for this assignment, my formation abilities are well suited to defensive operations."

"Good, that's good," she said, nodding, but I could see that the worry hadn't entirely left her eyes even with that reassurance.

"Just be careful out there. Those beasts are not the same as the ordinary forest animals."

"I know, Mother. The team we have is good and the plan we've put together is solid. It will be fine."

"Of course it will be," Father agreed, though I caught him and Mother exchanging a brief glance that communicated something they weren't saying out loud.

"Our son is a real cultivator now, he knows how to take care of himself." The pride was still there in his voice but underneath it there was something else, distance that came from understanding that your child has moved into a world that you simply couldn't follow them into no matter how much you love them.

"I'm sorry I didn't write," I said suddenly, feeling like I needed to bring it up rather than leaving it sitting there unaddressed.

"The sect is intense and the competition is constant, but that's not a real excuse. I should have made the time."

"Oh sweetheart," Mother's expression softened.

"We understood, you were adjusting to a new world. Of course it was going to take time."

"Even so," I said, "I'll do better than I have been. When I go back, I'll write regularly, I promise." The strange thing was that I meant every word of it. These people had loved and raised their son and celebrated everything he achieved and supported every step he took toward his goals, they deserved better than months of silence from someone living their son's life.

"Well," Father said, smiling, "that gives us something to look forward to then. And maybe you might also visit in person occasionally? When sect business isn't too demanding of course."

"Of course," I said, and once again surprised myself with how much I meant it.

"I'd like that." Mother beamed at me across the table and put more food in my bowl even though it was still more than half full.

"Wonderful! And maybe by the time you visit next there will be someone new here for you to meet." I blinked, running back over what she had just said.

"Someone... new?"

"Oh!" Her hands came up to cover her mouth.

"I wasn't planning to say it yet, but... well..." she looked at Father who gave her a small encouraging nod.

"I'm carrying a child. Just a little over a month along now." I sat there with my chopsticks halfway to my bowl and just processed that information for a moment. A sibling. The original Ke Yin had been an only child his entire life and so had I before all of this began. Without really planning to do it, I extended my spiritual sense outward just slightly, and there it was, the smallest possible spark of new life, barely registrable even to cultivation-enhanced perception. A new person just beginning.

"That's..." I set my chopsticks down and found that I was smiling.

"That's wonderful. Congratulations to both of you!"

"We weren't sure how to bring it up," Father admitted, "with you being away at the sect and building your new life there..."

"Are you serious? This is great news!" and it was, the thought of being an older brother even in this complicated situation I was in filled me with a warmth I hadn't expected to feel.

"Do you know yet whether it will be a boy or a girl?" I was aware of course that highly advanced divination techniques existed that could determine a child's gender and even predict cultivation aptitude long before birth, complex methods involving star charts and blood essence that belonged to the world of immortal sects and major clans.

But none of those methods existed in a small village like this one, though I wouldn't have been remotely surprised if old Lady Zhu from down the street claimed to have some secret traditional method passed down from her grandmother, because every village seemed to have at least one elderly woman like that.

"Too early to say for certain," Mother laughed.

"Though your father has already decided it will be a girl."

"A father knows these things," he said with exaggerated seriousness, then grinned.

"But I was also certain you were going to be a girl, so maybe I'm not the most reliable judge of this." After that, the conversation moved naturally from the baby to things happening in the village to more carefully edited stories about life at the sect, and before I noticed it an hour had gone by in what felt like almost no time at all.

"I have to leave," I said, and I was genuinely reluctant about it.

"The team will be gathering soon, and we need to have the defensive formations up before the wave reaches the village." Mother's face fell slightly but she nodded and didn't argue.

"Of course, duty first." She was already wrapping up leftover food in large leaves.

"At least take some of this along with you. Spirit beasts or no spirit beasts you still need to eat."

"Mother, I have a whole storage ring full of supplies already, I don't really need…"

"Storage ring or no storage ring you are taking food with you." Her voice was firm on this point and there was clearly no opening for discussion.

"And you are coming back before you return to the sect to say a proper goodbye, I don't want you disappearing without a word!"

"Yes, Mother," I said, accepting the wrapped packages as gracefully as one possibly can while being fussed over by a parent who has been worried about you for months.

"Take care of yourself out there," Father added, pulling me into a hug that lasted a few seconds longer than the first one had.

"We are very proud of you son. But we would a thousand times rather have you safe than hear stories about how heroic you were." I hugged him back and then Mother pulled me into one more embrace.

"I'll be careful," I promised them both.

"And I will come back, from this mission and also to visit properly once the situation at the sect settles down." When I stepped out of the shop with the food packages stored away safely and the sound of their voices and their promises to see me again still present in my mind, I felt something different than I had felt walking in, like a tension that had been present so long I had stopped noticing it had finally released itself.

"Your heart rate has stabilized," Azure noted.

"And your qi circulation is more even than it has been at any point since you began cultivating."

"Is that your way of telling me that spending time with family is good for me?"

"The technically accurate term would be an emotional cultivation breakthrough," he replied.

"But I suppose family time is an acceptable simplified description." I glanced back at the shop one last time before turning away. There was a beast wave to deal with, defensive formations to set up across the village perimeter, and a teammate whose recent behavior I still hadn't fully made sense of. But somehow not one of those things felt as large or as heavy as they had an hour and a half ago.

Maybe that was what family actually was in practical terms, they could make even a difficult and complicated situation feel like something a person could actually handle without falling apart. Standing there on the road outside the shop I understood something that I hadn't been able to clearly articulate before: there was no useful purpose served by continuing to think of myself as someone pretending to be Ke Yin.

If his parents had noticed anything different about their son since he came back, they hadn't said so, and I didn't know if that was because I had been careful enough or because they chose not to see it, but either way it didn't matter anymore. For every practical and meaningful purpose, I was Ke Yin.

The person who had originally owned that name might be gone, but the life he had left behind was real, the people who loved him were real, the unborn sibling who would grow up knowing him only through me was real, and the responsibility for all of it had passed to me.

"Master," Azure said, interrupting the direction my thoughts had been moving.

"I feel I should point out that you have been standing still in the middle of the main street for some time and several villagers are beginning to look at you with concern again."

"Right," I said, turning myself toward the part of the village where I could already sense my teammates beginning to gather.

"I need to go protect the village. It would be very difficult to be a proper older brother if I let spirit beasts eat everyone first."

"I'm not certain that is how being an older brother is supposed to work."

"We'll work out the details as we go. Same as everything else." That was just what everyone did, wasn't it? You figured things out step by step as they came, together with the people who mattered to you. One problem at a time, one day at a time, one beast wave at a time.