Chương 31: Chapter 29 (R)

As we make our way through the corridors, I notice how the tension dissipates a little, although I cannot manage to abandon my worry. The image of the girl being kicked against the wall doesn't leave my head and the memory fills me with rage. What kind of person can do something like that? We arrive at the wing where the physician attends to the wounded and I see that some Nei Wei are guarding the entrance. Upon seeing us one of them approaches.

"Zhāohuán Wen, the doctor is already examining them. She can't guarantee anything yet, but according to what she has told us the boy is fine, he only has minor wounds and right now he is resting. What worries her most is the girl, who seems to have broken ribs at the very least."

"I want to go in", I say as I try to maintain my composure at the news of the severity of the girl's wounds.

"Wait a moment, I will make sure the doctor is ready to receive visitors", the Nei Wei tells us after hesitating a second before disappearing behind the door and leaving me with Lianhua in the corridor. I wait in silence wrestling with the growing need to know what is happening inside. Lianhua observes me with her accustomed calm, but I notice that she too is worried.

"Do you think I did the right thing, Lianhua?" I ask suddenly as my mother's words begin to return to my head in the silence of the corridor.

"What you did was what I consider just, Zhāohuán Wen", she replies without hesitation.

"That is what is important." The door opens before I can reply and the Nei Wei indicates to us that we may enter. I nod to Lianhua to push me and upon crossing the threshold I see the doctor leaning over the small girl, her face tense as she examines her.

"How is she?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper. The doctor lifts her gaze and observes me for a moment before replying "It was a very strong blow and she has several broken ribs in addition to internal bleeding, but I have given her a restorative pill so she will survive, although it will take quite some time for her to recover fully."

"And the boy?" I ask the doctor, pointing at the adolescent who is lying on a stretcher, with his head bandaged and his face covered in cuts and bruises.

"The truth is that he was lucky. He only has minor wounds and some contusions. With a bit of rest he will be fine", the doctor replies while carefully adjusting the girl's bandages.

"But they need to rest and you here are good for nothing more than bothering us, so I would appreciate it if you would leave." I try to protest, but the doctor's furrowed brow and her authoritative tone leave no room for doubt that we are not going to convince her. I sigh and make a gesture to Lianhua to push me out of the room.

"Take me to my chambers, Lianhua", I tell her as the doors of the infirmary close behind us. As we move away from the wing where the physician has set up her consulting room, I notice that the exhaustion begins to weigh on my shoulders. We arrive at my chambers, and the familiar surroundings receive me with a calm that, however, does not manage to soothe my mind. Lianhua helps me down from the chair and settles me on a small divan beside a window.

I see that the books I have bought during the day have been placed by the Nei Wei on a nearby table. I try to focus on them with Lianhua's help and to sort them according to their possible usefulness or potential for entertainment, but my mind keeps returning to the scene in the alley. Fortunately, my thoughts are interrupted when Lingxi enters the room and tells us "Zhāohuán Wen, it is time for dinner." I nod slowly and tell Lianhua "Let's go. I don't have much appetite, but I don't want to worry my mother."

Lianhua seats me in the chair and pushes it in silence toward the dining hall. When we arrive, I see that my mother is already seated and the table is laid with the food prepared by the cooks of the Nei Wei. However, this time the atmosphere in the room is heavy and none of us says anything as we begin to eat. Finally I cannot bear it any longer and I tell my mother, breaking the uncomfortable silence "What do you think I should have done today? Was I wrong to intervene?"

My mother sets the chopsticks on the table with a slow and deliberate movement as she looks at me for a long moment, as if she were evaluating my words or thinking about what to tell me.

"The consideration of whether you did well or wrong is something that you must decide for yourself, Wen", she says with a calm but firm tone.

"But what I can tell you is that you acted impulsively and did not consider the consequences of your actions." I feel uncomfortable under her penetrating gaze and I ask her "Consequences? What would you have wanted me to do? Watch while they seemed ready to beat those children to death?"

"And what would you have done if that young master Shi had decided to ignore you?" my mother asks with her eyes fixed on mine.

"Even if you had tried to stop them with a fight, you didn't know who that group really were or their background. What would you have done if the city guards had intervened in their favor? This is not a small village with a small family like the Yao family. This is a great city where the guards number in the thousands and we only have a hundred Nei Wei. In any conflict with the city, we would lose outright."

"I don't think the guard would dare do anything to the consort and the daughter of the Emperor", I say as I raise my voice without being able to help it. My mother looks at me with a disappointment that for some reason hurts more than any scolding "I cannot believe those words come from you of all people, Wen. Despite your age and lack of knowledge of the world, you are not that naive."

I remain in silence, surprised at the tone of her voice, since she had never spoken to me like that, and before I can think of a reply, she continues.

"This is not the capital, where the presence of the Empire is stronger. And even if it were, imagine that the person you confront decides that your status means nothing, that they are willing to kill you regardless of the consequences. They might later be captured and executed, but you would be dead", she tells me in the same tone.

"And here, at this distance from the capital, as long as the governor or one of the strong families of the area want to cover up the matter, they can blame your death on an attack of thieves or bandits and the guilty parties would never be found." Her words fall upon me like a heavy slab and I open my mouth to reply, but my mind is blank.

"Do not expect your status to save you from all your actions, Wen", my mother continues, with her voice laden with a sadness I had not perceived before.

"Because one day it will not, and I do not want to have to hold your funeral." She rises from the table leaving her food untouched. Lingxi seems surprised by her sudden departure, but quickly rises to her feet to follow her out of the dining hall. I remain staring at her empty chair, with the sound of her footsteps moving away and echoing in my mind. My appetite has completely disappeared and I feel overwhelmed, as if all the weight of my actions of the day were falling on me at once.

"Lianhua, take me to my room", I murmur, incapable of bearing the idea of remaining any longer in the dining hall.

"Of course, Zhāohuán Wen", Lianhua replies, although in her voice I can notice a small note of pity. She pushes me gently and together we retreat in silence to my chambers. Once in my room, I tell Lianhua to lay me on the bed, and after she does I close my eyes, but my mother's words don't cease to resonate in my mind. I try to analyze what she has said, to go over every word, every warning. Have I really been so arrogant, so blind to how my surroundings were affecting me?

I can't help comparing my behavior with that of those spoiled and arrogant young people who believe their status will protect them from everything and who I would sometimes encounter during my stays in China. Or those lottery winners who suddenly forget who they were before and come to consider themselves superior to others. And little by little I realize how close I am to becoming that which I so despised.

The luxuries, being constantly escorted, the incessant company of handmaidens and servants, never having to worry about money to the point that I don't even know how the monetary system works in this world, and how all of that has come together over all these years to distort my view of the world.

And to top it off, I can't help recalling the scene in which I confronted the guards of the Yao clan and how I came away unscathed from the situation with my mother's words about the Emperor, and even how this very day I dismissed my clear case of nepotism at the restaurant by telling myself that I wasn't hurting anyone since I was only making them wait a little longer for their food. I begin to feel a deep shame upon thinking about how I have behaved.

Am I really any better than those second-generation young people whom I so mocked inwardly when dealing with them? Have I forgotten who I was before all this, how I used to see the people who abused their power?

While these reflections tangle in my mind, I feel a kind of regret that I had never felt before and I decide to be glad that this scene is happening now and not several years later, when the sense of distance from my old self would be more pronounced and it would really be too late to realize my distorted view.

But in the end and slowly, the fatigue of the day begins to take hold of me and my thoughts become confused before sleep claims me, leading me to a restless rest filled with a blurry mixture of images from my previous life and the current one. I wake up feeling my face wet. I blink, disconcerted, and run a hand over my cheeks. The sensation is strange, as if I had been crying in my sleep, although I cannot remember what I might have dreamed.

I remain for a few minutes lying on the bed, letting my mind go over the events of the previous day. I see again the image of the girl being thrown against the wall, the terrified eyes of Ling Tian as the men forced him to kneel. And then, the conversation with my mother, her words full of frustration and sadness. I feel trapped in my own thoughts, a spiral of doubts and regret that seems to have no end. With a conscious effort I decide to interrupt this mental storm.

I need to get up and start the day somehow, so I call Lianhua hoping that my tone does not reveal the internal confusion I feel. It doesn't take long before Lianhua enters the room.

"Zhāohuán Wen, what would you like to do this morning?" she asks with her usual calm tone.

"I want to dress and go to breakfast", I tell her as I rise with her help to prepare for the day. Stolen story; please report. I finish breakfast quickly and indicate to Lianhua to take me to see how the siblings are doing in the physician's consulting room. I need to make sure they are well and that what I did was not in vain.

When we arrive at the medical room I see that the doctor is not there but the adolescent, his face still full of bruises, is sitting beside his sister's bed, his eyes fixed on the girl and his expression laden with worry. Upon hearing the door he lifts his gaze and, upon seeing us, rises hurriedly. Without hesitating, he kneels on the floor while bowing his head until it touches the ground as he tells us with a voice laden with sincerity "Thank you, thank you so much for saving my sister's life."

"Please rise", I tell him, feeling uncomfortable at his gesture and still not knowing how to react to this kind of exaggerated thanks.

"And come, let's speak in another place so as not to disturb your sister." The adolescent nods and rises with some difficulty, following us to a nearby room. Lianhua takes us to a small room with several chairs and I indicate to Ling Tian to sit as well.

"I want to know what was really happening in the alley yesterday", I tell him, after which I ask him.

"Who are you and your sister?"

"My name is Ling Tian, and my sister is Ling Xia. We are… we were part of the Ling family", he tells me with an expressionless tone as he stares into the void.

"And as far as I know, we are the last living members of the Ling family." I am surprised, not so much by what he says, but by the calm with which he expresses it, as if all of this were just another fact of his life, and clearly there is something more behind his story, something that goes beyond a simple street confrontation. Sensing that there could be political implications that I do not know about, I decide to interrupt him.

"I want to hear the whole story, but I think it's better that my mother also hear it. Perhaps she could help you more than I can", I tell him before he continues speaking. Ling Tian hesitates for a moment, but nods in silence, and I feel relieved that he accepts so easily, so I take him with me to find my mother. It doesn't take us long to find her in the room she has set up as her study speaking with Lingxi. When we enter, she lifts her gaze and arches an eyebrow upon seeing us.

"Wen, why were you looking for me?" she asks with her usual tone of authority, although with a slight trace of yesterday's tension.

"Mother, this is Ling Tian and he is one of the two siblings we rescued yesterday", I tell her while gesturing toward the adolescent.

"I think it's better that you hear his story. There are things we probably ought to know." My mother sighs as if she were already anticipating another complication and tells us as she points to a chair "Very well, sit down and tell me, what is going on?" Ling Tian settles into the chair and his posture still shows some pain, but his face remains calm as he begins to tell his story.

"My sister and I are the children of the patriarch of the now I suppose vanished Ling family", he begins with a voice that barely trembles.

"The Ling family was one of the five great families of the city of Xi'An. During the last hundred years, we were the most important because our principal business was the talisman shops and the renting of Qi-gathering formations to wandering cultivators. We also created and maintained those same formations for the other wealthy families of the city." My mother narrows her eyes, clearly interested in the story, and Ling Tian continues with his low but clear tone of voice.

"Everything changed a month ago. Suddenly, the other four families attacked us one night without any warning and simply began killing everyone", he tells us as he continues with his story.

"The city guard, which is always present, that night disappeared, so we could do nothing against the combined forces of the other families." Ling Tian barely varies his tone of voice as he continues with his story "My father took my sister and me to a small secret passage. He told us to run and gave us the address of an empty mansion that was not affiliated with the family so that we could hide. We barely had time to say goodbye before the door closed behind us. And I have heard nothing from my family since then."

Without knowing what to say at his story, I remain silent and I see that it is the right thing, since no one else in the room says anything upon seeing Ling Tian's expression, which makes it clear that in telling us the story he is unburdening himself.

"We have been hidden in that mansion during the past month", Ling Tian continues.

"But a few days ago we ran out of food and so it left us no other option but to leave. I didn't want to risk going out at night since we would attract too much attention, so I tried to do it during the day to pass unnoticed among the crowd and try to leave the city, but it seems some men of the Shi family saw us and told it to Shi Tong, the eldest son of the patriarch of the Shi family, who intercepted us in the alley and, well, you already know what happened afterwards."

His tone continues to be calm, but I can see the pain in his eyes, the pain he has surely been repressing all this time so as not to worry his sister. The silence that fills the room after listening to the adolescent's story. I, however, cannot help thinking that knowing about the zhū jiǔ zú, the extermination of the nine generations, by reading about it in the history books I studied in my other life is very different from being a firsthand witness to that practice.

Seeing how an entire family can be destroyed by greed or power leaves me with a void in my stomach. My mother breaks the silence first, addressing Ling Tian with a serious, almost solemn tone of voice.

"Do you know the reason behind the attack?" she asks him with seriousness.

"Depending on the motive perhaps I can help you." Ling Tian thinks about it for a moment and replies to my mother "I have been thinking about it all this time, and the only reason I can think of is that within a year and a half the Celestial Fragment of the Sands will open and that my father had the ambition of buying a noble title." This time I manage to ask a question without anyone interrupting me "And what does that have to do with exterminating a family?"

"The Celestial Fragment of the Sands is a small celestial realm that opens every ten years", Ling Tian replies, although that doesn't mean anything to me.

"During that time the city fills with wandering cultivators who want to strengthen themselves quickly to increase their chances of survival, so my family used to make a great fortune during that time." Ling Tian continues his account and tells us "And from some conversations I have overheard by chance I believe my father already had nearly all the money necessary to buy the title saved up, so I suppose he was waiting for this last influx to be able to do it."

"But I don't understand how that can lead to such extremes", I reply.

"One more noble family in the empire I don't think means much."

"To that I'll answer myself, Wen", my mother tells me as she looks at Ling Tian.

"This city does not belong to any noble. It is under imperial jurisdiction and that is why it has an imperial governor instead of a noble family that governs it."

"And if the Ling family had been able to buy a title, both the city and the entire surrounding area would have become their property", my mother continues telling me.

"That would have led to the other four families becoming subordinates of the Ling family and the governor losing his position." I blink as I recall Ling Tian's words about how the city guards had disappeared during the attack and in my mind everything ends up fitting together like the pieces of a puzzle about what happened that night.

"You have put me in a tight spot", my mother says to Ling Tian with frankness.

"I would like to help you, but unfortunately I have neither the force nor the political capital to do so, and even less if the governor is also implicated." Ling Tian remains in silence, maintaining his impassive expression, as if he had already imagined what they were telling him.

"The only help I can offer you is to grant asylum to your sister. She is a girl and therefore irrelevant. Also she is wounded and cannot move, so it would be senseless cruelty for you to have to take her with you in her condition", my mother continues.

"However, you are the possibly only male son of the Ling family and therefore the heir. You cannot stay since we cannot risk the possible consequences." I open my mouth to protest at my mother's words, but before I can say a single word, my mother silences me with a gesture of her hand and continues speaking.

"I am not so cruel as to throw you out the main door so that anyone may catch you", she says as she looks at Ling Tian with seriousness.

"I have a way of getting you out of the palace without anyone finding out. But for that, you will have to be blindfolded until it is safe. In addition, I will provide you with a weapon and some money so that you can survive outside the city." Ling Tian nods, after which he makes a slight bow of the head that denotes his acceptance as he says with a tone somewhere between grateful and resigned "It is more than I had this morning." His words, full of resignation, stop me before I can complain again.

I had wanted to protest and fight for him, but his genuine gratitude disarms me. Ling Tian seeks nothing more than to survive and protect his sister, and the sadness that can be glimpsed in his eyes weighs on my soul.

"You will depart tonight", my mother says.

"You have the rest of the day to prepare and to say goodbye to your sister." Ling Tian bows deeply before my mother as he tells her with a voice that seems laden with all the pain and weight of his situation "Thank you for everything you have done for us."

"You may go now", my mother says as she dismisses us both with a movement of her hand.

"I must prepare everything for tonight." We leave the room in silence as Ling Tian walks beside me completely lost in his thoughts. Finally, I break the silence.

"Ling Tian, I am very sorry. I cannot do more since I am only a child and I cannot act without my mother's permission", I tell him with a mixture of shame and frustration at my own helplessness. Ling Tian stops and looks at me, with an expression surprisingly calm for someone in his situation, and bows formally, as he has done several times already, but this time his words touch me deeply.

"You have done more than enough, Zhāohuán Wen. You saved my life and that of my sister without knowing who I was when the easiest thing would have been to ignore us", he tells me with a tone of deep gratitude.

"You gave us a second chance and it is something I will never forget as long as I live." I feel overwhelmed by his words since I am still not accustomed to this kind of thanks, and his bow, his genuine respect, make me feel uncomfortable.

"It is not necessary that you keep thanking me. Let us go to the physician's consulting room to see if she can wake your sister so that you can say goodbye to her." Ling Tian nods, and together we head to the infirmary. When we arrive the doctor is present, so I quickly explain the situation to her.

"The girl still needs to rest in order to heal", the doctor tells us, looking at us with a furrowed brow, as if she did not approve of our disturbing her patient.

"I can wake her for the time it takes a stick of incense to burn, but it would be better to do it close to nightfall to give her time to heal a little more."

"Thank you", I reply, and I look at Ling Tian, who nods in silence and takes a seat beside his sister's bed.

"I am going to my room. If you need anything, you may call me", I tell him softly before indicating to Lianhua to take me out of the room in silence. Once in my room, I ask her to take me to the table where I have the books. My eyes settle on the book about Runes that I bought at the Pavilion of the Golden Pearl, but I quickly dismiss it. I am not in the right mental state for something that requires so much concentration, and instead I take one of the storybooks I acquired at a random shop.

"Lianhua", I tell her while I leaf through the first pages.

"Bring the food up when it is ready and notify me when the moment comes for Ling Tian to leave." She nods and replies "As you wish, Zhāohuán Wen." The day passes slowly and without incident. I immerse myself in the tales of the book while I try to avoid thinking about the situation we are in. The stories, although simple, allow me to escape for a while from reality, but in the end Lianhua arrives and pulls me out of my paper refuge.

"It is time, Zhāohuán Wen", she tells me softly. I set the book aside and take a deep breath before telling her "Take me to where Ling Tian is." We head once more to the infirmary and just when we arrive I see Ling Tian leaving the room. From inside, a faint childlike voice can be heard weeping and pleading "Don't leave me alone, brother! Please!" I clench my hands into fists as I silently curse my inability to do anything more. It is horrible to hear those cries and to know that I cannot change the destiny.

Ling Tian closes the door behind him and when he turns around I notice that he is crying. He wipes his tears with his sleeve and, upon seeing me, approaches.

"I am ready", he tells me with a trembling but determined voice.

"Lianhua, do you know where we should go?" I ask without taking my gaze off Ling Tian.

"They are waiting for us at the main gate", she replies. We head there in silence. Upon arriving we see my mother, Lingxi, and a group of Nei Wei dressed in common clothes instead of their habitual uniforms. My mother receives us with a nod of her head.

"Everything is ready", she tells us looking at Ling Tian. She gives a signal to Lingxi, who steps forward and hands him a sword along with a small purse.

"This is the weapon and the money I promised you", my mother tells him.

"When you go out into the courtyard, the Nei Wei will blindfold you. They will only remove the blindfold when you are outside the palace." Ling Tian takes the things from Lingxi's hands and bows deeply, showing the utmost respect "Thank you for this opportunity. It is more than I would have expected from any other person." After those words, he turns toward the door escorted by the Nei Wei. As I watch him leave, a strange sensation comes over me, as if I knew what I had to do.

"Ling Tian", I call to him before he crosses the door. He stops and turns around, looking at me with curiosity. Without thinking twice, I take out the chain with the ring that I wear around my neck and throw it to him.

"Here, it is for you", I tell him and my voice sounds stronger than I expected. Ling Tian catches the chain in the air, surprised. All those present observe us with strangeness and even my mother seems about to say something, but I interrupt her before she can speak.

"I don't know why, but I feel it will be more useful to you than to me, since I don't even know what it does", I tell him without taking my gaze off him. Ling Tian looks at me with strangeness, but then nods with solemnity and bows once more before me. Without saying more, he turns around and disappears through the door accompanied by the Nei Wei.