Chương 1165: Day One Thousand One Hundred And Sixty-Three

Dear Diary, At some point I think I'm gonna have to sit back and take stock of whether using that massive stockpile of Copium™ my mother left me is helping me avoid further trauma by letting me act like a semi-functional human being six days out of seven, or letting the trauma I've got fester and compound rather than letting it all out. I'm honestly not sure at this point, but given that we're gearing up for what looks like a major battle, I'm choosing not to collapse into a soppy mess right at the moment.

Of course, the big battle we're gearing up for isn't one involving Monsters, or Gods, or even Armies. Nope, this looks to be a straight up naval battle. Which, given that our side has the only ships armed with cannon, where the other side is using ballistae and catapults if they have any kind of anti-ship weapons whatsoever, we've got a bit of an edge. Then again, I do not want to get cocky. First of all, our goal isn't to kill them all.

Honestly, if we could do this with as few fatalities as the Liberation of Calverton, I would absolutely do it that way, even if it meant me being laid up for as long as I was after Curing New Amsterdam. Shit, I don't think I'd risk dying again for that, but the fact that I'm not sure says a lot. But overall the goal is to liberate Pirates who've been conned our outright ensorcelled into fighting for she who must not be named. Tallulah's Sidhe nemesis, not the TERF.

At any rate, alongside tryna do this whole thing on Hard Mode, I also remember my lessons from back at the Academy, about why the House of Orange had to move to New Amsterdam. Specifically they tried to fight against the English Pirates and lost hard enough to run to an entirely different continent with their tails between their legs. Now, while in this instance we're objectively on the side of the Pirates, most of the Pirates themselves do not know that.

So unless the Captains three are way more successful breaking their fellows free of the bitch's woo, we're gonna have to fight them. Again, on Hard Mode. But that is, and I'm tryna remind myself of this, well outside my wheelhouse. Yeah, I'm technically Captain of the Black Dragon. Yeah, with nothing else looming, I'm gonna be aboard, probably providing Mana to the engines, possibly doing some Marine work alongside the Trolls. But I'm really not the one in charge this time, and I'm surprisingly okay with that.

Yeah, I can lead troops. Armies, even. Been there, done that, didn't bother with a tee shirt because I've still got some left over from the Battle of the Bands, if I haven't put them on my ladies, soaked them, then ripped them off and forgotten about it. Man, it's been a while since I did that. Been even longer since the Battle of the Bands. Which I'm now remembering was one of the first times Domnu helped me out in anything approaching a normal fashion. So I'm gonna be microdosing that Copium even more.

After yesterday's therapy session, most of which I spent mourning, we headed home. I realized when we arrived in the Dining Room that Marie had snuck off at some point and put something on to slow cook, because the entire place smelled heavenly. Some kind of sweet basted meat. No clue what kind, although I'd guess at pork or chicken. Whatever it was just fell apart and melted in my mouth. When I pulled her over and fed her some, I asked.

"Did you sneak out of Family Therapy for this?" She shook her head, then after swallowing said, "Saturnday Afternoon."

"Whoa. Isn't that a little dangerous, just leaving the stove on all day?" She gave me the weirdest look, like she'd never heard anything so Goof, but just smiled, fed me a bite in turn, and said, "Devorah Basted." I chuckled and replied, "y'know, that sounds like a really good idea. Wonder if she'd be up for it?" Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

"Up for what, love?" Saffron asked, looking over from where she and Siobhan were exchanging bites not unlike Marie and I. So weird that I didn't blush or hesitate when I said, "basting her with something sticky and sweet before licking it all off." She just turned to Marie and said, "that reminds me, I still haven't gotten my Frosted Goof yet." Yeah, I'm definitely gonna say First World Problems are way better than any other kind.

None of us were really in any kind of shape to do anything energetic or athletic, so after a long soak in the Bath I gently carried everyone downstairs to the bedroom, where we all bundled in and slept in one big cuddle puddle. I sort of think some of the girls might be getting big enough they'll want to sleep in their own rooms at times.

I mean, they have, like during Siobhan's labor, but they might want to do it for reasons other than 'bed is occupied by sweaty, stinky, about to be officially inducted into the Mom Collective Siobhan'. Dreamt of the ladies all dressed up in hazmat suits, but somehow more 'Jesse and Doc in the RV' than 'toxic waste cleanup crew'. Led by Soup Dumpling Saffron, they all raked the black, sandy silt out of my Maw, then carefully weighed, measured, and dispersed controlled amounts of it back in.

Would have been more effective if my tentacles didn't keep scooping up the folks doing the work and dunking them into my Maw still coated in Copium. Today was pretty chill, honestly. Split up in my latest normal, three bodyguards, two at home, one doing laundry and one playing with the kids, and one of me in class, Aisling clinging to me because apparently she enjoys coming to Advanced Shaping with me. Only two big things of note from class today.

First, Saffron showed up and gave the class, which included me, a lesson in how to do her Shaping research windows. It's really weird, because the 'language', such as it is, is more Math than anything else. Like, Geometry and Algebra and Trig, describing the Shape in mathematical terms. That part is pretty much just some interactive Illusion crafting, but then there's some Divination about turning that math into a three dimensional shape, small 's', which emulates the Mana Shape that'd be formed.

The real kicker is not just that it'll show the Shape, but that apparently it creates something not unlike an itty bitty version of Conrad's Workshop. Like a tiny virtual reality that definitely isn't part of the Mortal Realm, but also isn't really M-Space proper. Then it creates that Shape in the virtual space and shows how the portions of it will interact in non-virtual reality. Yeah. Last I'd seen it was a smartboard. Then again, that was... Three years ago? Maybe I think?

No, wait, closer to two, because it was during the Siege of Calverton, and I've had two birthday parties since then. Y'know, I think I need to go make sure Vincent's ashes are sufficiently hauled. Yeah, boy mode Saffron is an absolute god tier bed partner, and Lachlan is a prime slice of beefcake, but there's just something about clearly being the one bringing the skills and experience to the table that I enjoyed with him. Anyhow, we all got a lesson in how to work with Saffron's Spell Development Environment.

She even told me at lunch that she'd help me work on integrating whatever I came up with into the System Spell. But it was the second thing that really blew my mind. Not long after lunch, when Saffron had stepped back up to the front of the room, Doc came and sat down next to me, on the far side from Aisling, who'd been watching Saffron intently all day.

"S'up, Doc?" He opened his mouth like four times, each time silencing himself with a shake of the head. Finally, when one of the Cadets came up to try Shaping the Environment, which pretty much had everyone's full attention save Doc and I, he murmured, "a Boon? Goddess?" I blinked, then looked at him.

"I mean, I think the other Gods get all cranky about how often I give them out, but what did you need?" He chuckled, blushed, and said, "uh, no. Not that. Well... Something like that. I..." He trailed off, and eventually I just reached over and gently squeezed his hand.

"It's okay, Doc. Ask. You've always had my back. I can't think of anything you'd ask for that I would get offended by."

"You're attempting a Global Spell, yes?" I nodded.

"I mean, if I can get the Shape right and integrate it properly, yeah." He chuckled.

"That... You doubt yourself on the part that most Archmagi take for granted. That they have the Skills to design and emplace such a Shape."

"What else is there?"

"The Mana." His quiet statement reminded me that pretty much every Global Spell required either a Deity or the sacrifice of Mortal Souls. I shook my head.

"Yeah. Not really an issue for me, but I get what you're saying." Suddenly that dark, secret place inside him flashed its contents to me, and I realized.

"You wanna put one in place." He nodded.

"Is that what you were gonna ask me for? Mana?" He nodded again, then shook his head, half turning away.

"Never mind..." I held him in place by not letting go of his hand.

"Doc?" He turned back to me, fear clear in his eyes.

"Yes, Goddess?"

"I would be honored to empower whatever Global Spell you want to try putting up. On one condition." His eyes lit up.

"Yes, Goddess?" I looked him square in the eye and said, "remember my name is Tabitha."