Chương 98: A Bunch of Fools

The burly man saw Zhao Old Eight cursing and snorted coldly, cracking his knuckles.

"What, you already swallowed it, and now you want a refund?" Zhao Old Eight looked at the man's rough, fierce face and felt a twinge of fear. He quickly waved his hands." No, no. What I meant was, even though this bun looks just like the ones from the market, it's more refined, more beautiful, softer, and more fragrant. Truly worthy of being an immortal bun. Truly." Seeing him back down, the burly man let it go and went back to carefully nibbling his bun.

Zhao Old Eight returned to Zhu Old Six and complained bitterly.

"Old Six, you've ruined me. That was a whole gold bar. A whole damn gold bar could buy a dozen carts of flour, enough to make countless buns. And I just handed it over like that. My heart's bleeding, you know that?" Zhu Old Six chuckled." Old Eight, Old Eight, we're brothers. We share the good times. You can't expect me to be the only one getting screwed, right?"

"Fine. Some brother you are. I'll remember this." Zhao Old Eight had no choice but to swallow his anger. Zhu Old Six continued, "But I did recognize the taste of that flour. It's wheat grown on that patch of land at the foot of the hill behind our village. That spot's right by the mountain, so wild boars are always coming down to forage. And boars, they eat and shit at the same time. So those wheat grains have a little bit of that pig shit and piss smell. That's why the bun has that stench too.

Hearing that, Zhao Old Eight felt sick.

"Damn it. A gold bar for a bun made with shit. We really got screwed." Zhu Old Six laughed.

"It's not that bad. We only ate a tiny bit. Look at those idiots. They're fighting over shit. Hahaha, it's hilarious." Zhao Old Eight agreed.

"Yeah. A bunch of morons. With our gold bars, we could get a whole feast at any restaurant in the prefecture city. And they're squatting here like beggars, nibbling on buns." Zhu Old Six grinned.

"Let's hurry and find the old folks still in the village. Once we lock down those general agent spots, we're out of here. Head to the prefecture city and live it up."

"Right. No point arguing with these fools." Zhao Old Eight nodded. The two old men walked deeper into the village, and Fang Cheng followed behind, his confusion growing. Strange. He hadn't spotted a single cultivator, aside from the bearded team leader who'd brought them here. Everyone else in the village was an ordinary mortal. Even stranger, none of these mortals had even a wisp of black energy inside them. That meant they had no evil thoughts at all. How was that possible? It was impossible.

So what was going on? Fang Cheng furrowed his brow, thinking. His gaze drifted to the small hill northwest of the village. A faint aura of ancient, primordial power emanated from there. Based on past experience, the Demonic Spirit Gathering Array was probably built into that hill. The cultivators were likely hiding inside it. Should he go check it out now? He thought about it and decided to wait. It was still daytime, and too many eyes were watching.

If he went over there now, he'd only raise suspicion and scare off the Self-Help Association cultivators before he could catch them. If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. So Fang Cheng stayed quiet, following behind the two old men while keeping an eye on the street vendors and the customers scrambling to buy food.

"Look what I bought! A meat bun made with immortal wheat flour and filled with primal wild boar meat! You know what primal wild boar is? That's an ancient beast, so powerful even the immortals couldn't stand against it! And now I've got its meat right here!" A little old man held his bun high in the air like a sacred torch, carrying the light of civilization and hope. It was like Prometheus stealing fire from the sun god. A great flame of hope, bringing light to humanity in the darkness.

The fire god said, "My child, Little Pu, apologize to Zeus. Stealing meat buns is wrong. Return the bun, and I'll ask Lord Zeus to forgive you." Little Pu said, "My meat bun is for the good of humanity. What crime have I committed? Come on, punish me. Torture me. I can endure any torment, but I will never admit guilt, and I will never return this meat bun. Because this isn't just a meat bun. It represents the rebirth of humanity!"

"This gleaming meat bun was so sacred. Just one tiny bite，, and you could feel the vibrant life force within it. If possible, he would enshrine it before his ancestors' tablets and pass it down, generation after generation, for all eternity, through endless cycles of reincarnation. So now the question: how much does such a great meat bun cost? The answer is twenty gold bars. That's right. For just twenty gold bars, you can taste the primal ancient world wrapped in an immortal aura. What a steal.

What are you waiting for? Order now!" Zhao Old Eight scoffed under his breath.

"A lousy meat bun. Ten coppers in the prefecture city." Zhu Old Six corrected him." I can tell that's wild boar meat. It's got a stronger gamey smell than regular pork. If any vendor in the prefecture city tried to sell that, their stall would get torn down."

"Look what else I bought! Supreme immortal tea, made from bodhi leaves soaked in primal divine water for forty-nine days!" The little old man held up a cup of tea and began to sing its praises.

"The primal divine water comes from the Weak River above the nine heavens, which absorbed the essence of the sun and moon. You know what the Weak River is? That's heavenly water. It's the river of our ancestors, the very river that gave birth to countless immortals. Do you know why the Weak River descended to the mortal realm? Because of the water god Gonggong! He heard of Little Pu's tragic fate, and his heart ached. Little Pu, my Little Pu, you were so kind, and Zeus was so corrupt! The water god was furious.

He went to Mount Caucasus and saw Little Pu tortured beyond recognition. Damn it all, his rage burned like a wildfire! And so Gonggong charged headfirst into the mountain. With a thunderous crash, the great Mount Caucasus snapped! When Mount Caucasus fell, disaster struck the mortal realm. The sky tore open, and the Weak River poured down, flooding the entire world. In an instant, countless people were drowned, swept away, trampled. Countless lost their families and friends.

Countless died of hunger, thirst, and cold. The mortal realm faced total catastrophe. The world was ending. Human lives were worthless. Mortals knelt and wept, crying out to heaven and earth, begging for a savior. They begged Noah to build a boat. Noah said, no problem, give me a hundred years, and I'll build you the greatest ship ever. That ship would have been so perfect that Jesus and God himself would have knelt and called him daddy. What? A hundred years? Fuck a hundred years.

I'd be dead in a hundred years, my corpse rotting away in the water. But somehow humanity survived. Why? Because the Association Leader appeared. She was our savior. She said, I planted a seed, and it grew into a tree. Today is a great day. Do you see it? Do you hear it? That tree is the Bodhi ancestral tree, born from the six paths of reincarnation and nirvana. It spread its massive branches and leaves like the primal beast Kunpeng（鲲鹏） spreading its wings, sheltering mortals from the wind and rain.

And its roots stretched out like the primal beast Taotie（饕餮） opening its gaping maw, swallowing the entire Weak River whole. That's right. The Weak River was drained dry, leaving only this one cup. Just this cup right here! Haha, with just thirty gold bars, I bought the only Weak River tea left in the world. There's no one happier than me! Hahahaha..." Zhao Old Eight glanced at it.

"Bullshit bodhi leaves. That's just a rotten leaf, and the water's probably ditch water." Zhu Old Six chimed in, "Well, soaking it for forty-nine days might be true. I can smell it from here. It's all sour and rotten. Look, the leaf's already stringy." Even Fang Cheng couldn't hold back. He walked up to the teahouse and muttered, "Everyone's holding a cup of tea, and every single one claims their water is the divine water. Everyone says theirs is the only one. So who's telling the truth?

Why don't you all fight it out first, and whoever wins gets to claim their tea is the real divine water?"