Chương 66: Some people drown while others die of thirst

Lily was pacing along the beach, biting her lip in anxiety.

"How long does it take?" she asked out loud again.

"I will be done soon," the elf replied with a quiet hint of melody in her voice, sitting on a rock with her eyes closed in meditation.

"Please stop disturbing me. The process is not comfortable, or easy. I will appreciate the quiet." Lily clicked her tongue, and glanced at her own mana pool. Soul: 60 Mana: 528 / 3204 Should be enough. Was it really? She didn't know. She had no idea how resistant the elf was, and controlling seven people at the same time to do basically a suicide mission wouldn't be cheap. She gathered her resolve again to wait for the last moment, to have a bit more mana to work with.

Restless, she sat on the ground and hugged her knees, watching the still waters of the dead ocean. No one bothered her, because she looked like she didn't want to be bothered. Her power was fucking scary. It leveled up on its own even more, her month-long 'death' apparently being a very rewarding workout for the ability. The passive aspect of it got even stronger, turning her self-awareness into reality in weak ways without even the slightest cost, and worse than that, without conscious control.

The 'Don't bother me' aura didn't affect her mana regeneration at all. She just didn't want to be talked to, so everyone knew not to do that. Just like that. She was slowly turning into a creature defined and controlled by her own self-perception. Lily was terrified of it. Lily was terrified of ever actively using this power ever again. She had to. Because she had to save Dennis. Because he came back for her. Even if she would have to listen to yet another spiral of endless yammering about the Flash again.

Or Quicksilver. Or– God, there were so many of them! Even if she would have to endure another restless night of quiet sobs, unable to answer or even think or feel anything about what she heard. Even if she might forget who she was again. Her power was fucking scary. She wasn't using it right. It wasn't mind-control. It was mimicry. It worked best when she pretended to be something else. Not 'Lily with an extra characteristic', but something or someone completely different. And when she did, she was.

If she'd had more mana then, she would still be All-Might, running around confused and slaying monsters left and right. Her power, if used correctly and in alignment to what it whispered to her, was essentially a suicide button. And it was so easy to use! Lily breathed acting. Wore roles like clothes. Pretended she was something that she wasn't all the time. Her power adored her. Just believing for a moment that she was surely dead was enough. The mana cost was so negligible back then, in the state she was in.

And dead people stayed dead. If not for Dennis, she would've pretended that she was dead forever. It was only a matter of time before she accidentally slipped into some other role that she wouldn't be able to get out of. She released a shaky breath, trying to hold back a sob. No reason to make others concerned. It would tamper with her mana regeneration, requiring a higher cost to keep them away.

"How much?" she asked the elf again.

"A few minutes," the elf whispered without opening her eyes. There was a grimace on her face, from pain or concentration, Lily wasn't sure.

"Please… Stop distracting me." Even on the edge of this god-forsaken island, the mana siphoning effect was strong enough that no one could really regain any of it. Except the elf lady, who could apparently burn parts of her own soul for fuel with a 'dangerous and extremely complicated' technique, and Lily because of her absurd stat, not that she told anyone about that.

"And then what?" she asked no one in particular, just in case she had actually misunderstood the plan and there was no need for any drastic measures. Though, as a person who was becoming an expert in lying to herself, she had to admit that she was just nervous. Lying to herself was dangerous. Only one step away from pretending to be something she wasn't.

"I'll find another proper place," a familiar voice said. Was that Stuart? She had difficulties connecting the voice to the face. Dead people didn't look at things.

"What we need the most right now is a safe place to rest and recover, so I assume my skill will find something like that."

"Unless it teleports us in the middle of an active volcano to save another elf or something," another man grumbled.

"Sometimes I hate your skill, Stu."

"Your skill finds a place that's in your best interest to be in, right?" Lily was consciously trying to not manipulate the conversation or project any image. No, it wasn't an innocent question asked by a little girl. No, she wasn't trying to talk just to fill the silence with noise in search of comfort. No, she didn't need protection. She just asked a question. Talking without a mask was against her every instinct, it felt like pulling teeth, but trying to slip on a role was dangerous.

And she didn't want to waste any mana right now, not with her botched regeneration. These people weren't important. She didn't need them to look at her in a certain light. No matter how uncomfortable it was to just… to just talk, with basically strangers no less. What would they think of her? What if– Stop it.

"Something like that," Stuart nodded.

"I don't really control it, but so far it led us to places where in the end we agreed were worth visiting. I'm not sure how much of it is 'me' deciding what's good though. Do I influence the choice subconsciously, or is there some alien mind that just knows what's 'good' for me? Sometimes I worry that it's the latter, and one day it will kill us all. It's not named 'good place', after all. It's a Proper Place. A place where I'm supposed to be. But according to whom?" Stolen novel; please report.

Did she accidentally project the 'I want to fill the silence with noise because I'm a scared girl who must be protected' aura? She didn't think so. Maybe she just naturally looked like that without the mask? Oh god. What if– Stop it. Lily forcefully looked away, turning her back to the group. What they thought about her wasn't important. It wasn't. These people were preparing for the last push to find a safe place and finally rest. Maybe they would even figure out a way out of this world.

With a teleportation skill and a magical elf-lady who clearly knew a lot about a lot, what wasn't possible? They already basically forgot about Dennis. Just assumed that he was either already dead, or they didn't have the means to help him, if they even cared. That didn't work for her. Mana: 847 / 3204 Not only because there was no way she would leave Dennis to die after everything he did for her. Or because she–some fucking how–trusted him.

And not just because he was the only person alive who genuinely cared about her, despite how much of an annoying shit he could be when he got into one of his rants. Monologues. Dialogues? He was a troubled person. If she heard the word 'exponential' one more time, she would hit him. Gently. While clearly stating that it wasn't an attack. He was a troubled person. Her other reason was no less important. Damsel in Distress. Passive. Part of The Escapist Princess. Oh look, the rib is back inside.

Surely that means that you're savable, right? Please say something. Please. Effect: As long as there is a hero, you can be saved. Waking up from her 'death' to level nine and a skill selection was unexpected, yet very welcome. Dennis was surely having 'the gains', to give her so much exp. The time-stop effect allowed her to process the month's worth of memories of her life as a 'corpse' at her own pace.

She cried, and laughed, and screamed in that moment between moments, reliving Dennis' half-crazy rants one by one. Fuck Gareth, for thinking that she was actually dead. She hoped that Dennis forgot about that creepy hobo. He might have. She wouldn't remind him. The realization of what Play Pretend truly was had filled her with despair. No matter how bad things were, she didn't want to actually die. Or stop existing as 'Lily', which was essentially just another kind of death.

She didn't think twice about selecting the new skill. Other options were just… way too evil. Or self-destructive. Or both. Mostly both. She didn't like what that said about her as a person. The new skill–she hoped–would be her anchor. The effect description was infuriatingly vague, but she clearly got the option because despite Play Pretend's insistence that she was dead, Dennis was still stubbornly trying to save her. Against common sense. From her own power. For more than a month. Alone.

Her hope was that once she inevitably slipped into another role that she couldn't get out of, because she was a compulsive liar who couldn't help herself, someone would have a way to save her again. It was the best option she had, no matter how vague or flimsy. She just needed a hero. Lily knew of only one. Leaving Dennis behind was not an option. She had to save him, because she needed him to save her. She sneakily glanced back at the group behind her, studying them.

The elf lady was meditating on a rock, feeling stronger by the second. Two of the women–Stacy and Mary? –were trying to console the third one, who seemed to be having a quiet mental breakdown because the nothingness aura here was 'too strong' for her to endure, if Lily understood her problem correctly. They were constantly throwing more 'existence' spells at her from the scraps of mana they managed to regain, to little effect. Mana: 1042 / 3204 It's fine. They'll get out of here soon enough.

Jack and Stuart somehow managed to start quietly bickering about the best strategy to play in some tabletop game, of all things. Evan stood further away, alone and silent, looking thoughtfully at the horizon behind the still waters. They didn't seem like bad people. Lily, of course, never trusted the appearances. It didn't mean that they were bad. She just didn't know these people, aside from the masks they wore.

She could come clean, explain the situation properly, and ask for help without resorting to lies or manipulation. Because they looked like good people, and there was a good chance they'd help her anyway. Just be a good girl and trust in the goodwill of strangers. Lily chuckled quietly, amused by the accidental joke. Might as well turn into a unicorn while doing that. Actually, turning into a unicorn would be much easier. Just– Her smile died, replaced by a shudder. To save Dennis, she had to get creative.

Lily knew annoyingly too much about how his skill worked, including some of her own insights that he might've not realized. Like the fact that Heroic Senses were actually pretty weak and didn't work that well. Really, the only people in danger that the skill could find were her, a person who half of the skill was designed to look for specifically, and the elf lady, who Lily suspected used magic to make herself more noticeable for skills like that as an escape attempt.

Unless someone else was in a clear and specific mortal danger, chances were the skill wouldn't find them. Mock danger wouldn't work. Threats, most likely, wouldn't work. If she pressed a dagger against Stacy's neck and resolved herself to actually kill her, it still may not have worked until she started stabbing. Worse than that, she didn't actually have the heart to do that, for a vague chance no less. Lily could become the person who could do that. Just pretend, and– She took a deep breath, suppressing a shiver.

Dennis might kill her himself if she did that. Old Dennis definitely would have. As he was right now, he just might. She didn't have the heart to meaningfully threaten these people in a way that would give Dennis his buff, and she refused to become someone who could, so there was only one option left.

"It's done," the elf said weakly, falling as she stumbled and failed to get up from the rock. Stuart was beside her almost immediately, helping her.

"I'm transferring the mana." A few glyphs appeared in the air between the two, and the power changed owners.

"Thank God," Hannah muttered. It was time. Lily stood up. She was shaking. It's gonna be fine. I've done that hundreds of times. It should be reversible. I just need to trust myself to cancel the effect later. Lily was the most trustworthy person in the world. A loving mother who never betrayed you. A kind teacher who taught you everything you knew. A best friend, tested through hardship. It wasn't efficient, to take on a characteristic instead of outright becoming someone else.

The skill wanted her to be the mother. To be the friend. She refused. And threw mana at the problem. If the problem couldn't be solved with mana, you didn't use enough.

"Change of plans," she said quietly, trying to be as blunt as possible and not acting or playing a role. Roles were dangerous.

"We need to go back to Dennis and help him. The proper place is there, where a horde of monsters would be trying to kill us. Trust me."

"Wha–" Stuart sputtered.

"No, that doesn't make any sense. The Proper Place is…"

"The Proper Place," she said sternly, pushing even more mana. Hundreds of units, against that fucking skill. How couldn't he see it? She was telling the truth." Is there. On the battlefield." Was Stuart's skill actually influenced by something else except his subconsciousness? Was she trying to fight it directly? She needed more.

"After all," she said.

"If you don't teleport us back there, we will certainly all die." Because she would kill them. She thought that she couldn't, but wasn't that silly? She couldn't lie. Every word, every thought was the truth. Where was the line between truth and bluffs, if she believed her own bluffs? She would kill them all. Consider that, you dumb place-finding skill. Do you believe me? I do. The world around them warped.