Chương 530: INTERLUDE_13.17 (530)

Fuma Arisu felt a familiar weight on her chest and cracked open her drowsy eyes to see the yellow feline eyes of her family cat. She remembered the day her father brought the kitten home seven years ago because its eyes reminded him of hers.

"It's the weekend. Let me sleep in," Arisu groaned, but the cat didn't budge.

"It's not about food, is it? I know Mom would've already fed you. You won't trick me into double feeding you. I'm grown now." Shuri, the cat, got up with a raised chin and hopped off the bed without a shred of shame, but not before swiping Arisu on the face with her tail. Arisu pulled the cover up to her head and had only lain there for a minute when the door to her room swung open, and her mother walked in noisily.

"Wake up, Arisu. Quickly. Go take a shower and get ready," she said as she opened the wardrobe.

"Mom, no!" Arisu complained when the cover was snatched from her.

"Just say I'm not at home!"

"Don't make me whoop you, young lady." The Fuma mother didn't bother giving her daughter a chance to get up on her own and pulled her up by the arm.

"Here are your clothes. Go shower and come out quickly," she said while wiping a trail of drool from the edge of Arisu's lips, sighing at the messy case of bed hair.

"Don't forget to tame your hair." Before Arisu knew it, she was pushed into the bathroom.

"Who is it?" she asked about the guest, but the door closing was the only response she got. With a lethargic groan of utter unwillingness, she trudged along as instructed to wash up, all the while resisting the urge to return to bed. But she braved on and made herself presentable enough for whoever the guest was. She looked down at the frock her mother had picked out as she dried her hair and wondered why she was being dolled up. Her father's laughter echoed in the lounge as Arisu descended the stairs.

She schooled her expression and put on a pleasant smile to greet whoever it was as she stepped into the lounge, only to freeze when she saw the guest. He had grown taller since the last time she had seen him. He still had the dark circles and the tired look in his eyes that ruined his look until one of his rare, genuine smiles lit up his face. Her brain knew that she should be angry, but her heart immediately betrayed her.

She felt her heart skip a beat when he straightened up on the couch, unknowingly leaning towards her. Whatever conversation he was having with her father was now forgotten as she held his complete attention. She had imagined what their reunion would be like more times than she would admit. It always ended up with her in anger, but now she stood there, and it was nothing like she had imagined. Seeing him like that, she felt a sense of relief.

"Takuma," she said.

"Arisu," he replied, standing up. She was a Police Force officer; she knew that things would be easier for her if she bent the rules, but she also believed that good work was just as valuable, so she didn't like his decisions and actions. And yet, after going through the documents, knowing what he had done, she could also see that ultimately, he had made a change.

At first, she was angry at the magnitude of his shady dealings, but with time, her anger shifted from what he had done to why he hadn't told her about it. Did he not trust her? Yes, she would've objected, and she would be right to do so, but did that mean that he would go behind her back and do it anyway, even though he was corrupting the foundation of something both of them had built together? It had eaten away at her for months until she was tired of it. She didn't want to be angry at him anymore.

Did that make her a hypocrite? And yet, she found a new anger bubble up. Why now? Why didn't he come to her all those months ago? Why was he here now at her home, her safe space, completely unannounced? Her father's laughter and her mother's beaming smile—they pissed her off. They knew that she hadn't talked to Takuma for a while, but they didn't know the reason. And yet, here he was, charming them. How could he assume that he could fix things on his own schedule?

It just reminded her of the decisions that he had made by himself for his own ambition.

"Let's talk somewhere private," Arisu said, instantly breaking the harmony in the room. Her tone was severe enough that her parents realised this wasn't their daughter trying to separate the boy she liked from her parents, and thus they shouldn't tease. ———. Arisu led Takuma to the gazebo in the backyard, and they sat down opposite each other at a table that suddenly seemed too wide between them. She leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed, while Takuma sat with his back straight, not touching the backrest.

He wore a grim expression with shades of guilt, shifting his weight the same way he did whenever he was nervous. Despite that, he didn't break eye contact, looking right at her. Much to her chagrin, she couldn't tear her eyes from him either.

"Why are you here?"

"…I wanted to see you."

"Police Force matters? You should've come to the office, and I don't appreciate you coming to my home unannounced, but sure, let's discuss now that you're here." She wasn't being fair, but he hadn't been fair with her either. She wanted him to sweat a little. He flinched at her response.

"I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"About everything," Takuma said and was about to continue but then stopped so he could drag his chair to her side. She shifted in her own, wanting to tell him to stop and stay away, but he was already there.

"I'm sorry about not telling you what I was doing. I'm sorry that I hid it for as long as I did. I'm sorry that it took me so long to come to you… I'm sorry. I truly am," he said, looking into her eyes. He was close enough that she could smell his cologne; they had picked it together, and she had bought it for him as a present. She didn't want to, but a part of her was happy that he was wearing it.

"You violated so many rules," Arisu sighed.

"I know." She noticed that, of the things he had apologised for, he hadn't apologised for his actions. He only apologised for not looping her in and then hiding it afterwards. Despite the success, she didn't agree with his methods. If she, as a Police Force officer, broke rules and laws as easily as he had done, then how could she accept others following them?

"I felt like a fool. I thought we had made a genuine change and we did it by the books, but that was far from the truth."

"We did make a change—" This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere." You made the change, Takuma. The rest of us did good work, but without you, it would have taken us who knows how long to accomplish what you did." Arisu paused, biting the inside of her cheeks as she felt a weight settle in her heart.

"If the end justifies the means, then what you did was correct. I'm not going to argue that. My problem was that you never intended to have me—the rest of us—truly join you in your efforts."

"No, that's—""All of us were just a cover for you, and it worked, but that's not what we signed up for. It was supposed to be a partnership." Arisu couldn't take it anymore and turned her face away from him. She needed a moment to compose herself, but of course, he didn't allow her. He turned her face back towards him by her chin. He hadn't trusted her, but she couldn't help but trust him with her vulnerability in the moment.

"I know this won't make it any better, but I didn't realise that my actions would lead to this," Takuma said, an earnest and deeply regretful look on his face.

"I was too ambitious. I was so focused on succeeding that I didn't realise I was betraying the trust everyone had placed in me… I didn't realise I would lose you.

"Is there any way you could forgive me?" he asked, holding her hand resting in her lap.

"You were my anchor in the Police Force. Everything I did only worked because you were there to keep me in check. Just your presence made sure I didn't go overboard…" Arisu recalled how often he went overboard during the raids, being heavy-handed, and how it was her responsibility to pull him back before he did something they would regret.

"I can't keep going on without my anchor, without you." It was a devastatingly perfect thing to say. He offered her a small, self-deprecating half-smile, a look they had shared many times before during overtime in his office and late-night stakeouts. The pull of their old dynamic tugged on her soul. It would be easy to step forward.

To let her anger go, to laugh, to offer him something that would help him sleep when what he wanted was coffee, and fall right back into the comfortable, agonising orbit of being his friend and confidant. But the word echoed in her mind. Anchor. An anchor stayed at the bottom of the dark, cold ocean to prevent the ship from drifting. A sudden discomfort took root in her. If she accepted right now, they'd be slipping back into where they were before. But that actually wouldn't be the case.

They no longer worked together. She no longer had the advantage of physical proximity. If she said 'yes' now, she would be dooming herself to be the anchor and nothing more. A sudden, terrifying need for agency surged, overriding the fear that what she was about to do could very well destroy their friendship. Arisu pulled her hand from his, much to his surprise.

"We can't just go back," she said in a quiet but intense voice.

"Not to the way it was." Takuma's jaw tightened as a worry scratched from behind his eyes.

"Arisu, please tell me—""Listen to me," she interrupted, holding his gaze.

"The work stuff… I can put that behind me. I know that you've always been the ambitious kind, and I know that your heart is in the right place, but I cannot live in a grey area with you." He frowned, a flicker of confusion crossing his features.

"What are you talking about?"

"I still like you, Takuma," she said. Saying the words out loud felt like jumping from a tall cliffside.

"The space didn't change it. The time didn't change it. The anger didn't change it. I spent months trying to convince myself that I was mad at you over your actions, but the truth is, I'm mad at you because of how you treated me— twice." His breath hitched. The micro-expressions betrayed him—the sudden stillness of his hands, the vulnerability flashing in his dark eyes.

"I confessed to you, and you left me hanging. You never gave me an answer. I deserve at least that, right?" Arisu never pushed him because she felt doing that would be pathetic or nerdy, especially when he was attacked, lost his leadership of the Narcotics Taskforce, and was sent to war.

"You have mistreated me both professionally and personally… and I still like you," she sounded out, not wanting to think what that said about herself.

"If you want this to continue, then you need to give me the answer I deserve. You want your anchor back? You want me in your life? I still like you, Takuma. You don't have to like me back. If you don't, tell me, so I can finally move on. I will still be your friend and confidant, but please don't leave this hanging over my head," Arisu said, intense emotions threatening to bubble over, but she couldn't cry now. The silence that followed was absolute.

The wind seemed to die down, leaving only the sound of a wind chime in the distance. Takuma stared at her, utterly stunned, before he regained his composure and let out a sigh, and the look in his eyes darkened considerably.

"I'm not in the right place right now to start a relationship," he said.

"When are you ever going to be in the right place?" Arisu asked, and that stumped Takuma, who didn't seem to have a good answer.

"If you don't want to, just say no. It's okay. Either break my heart or let me in. There's no need to complicate things." She clenched her fist, trying to dig her nails into her palm. Takuma looked more fatigued with each sentence. It hurt her to see him like this, but she steeled herself. She would have her answer now. Either their friendship was going to survive, or they would start something new, something more.

"You will regret this," Takuma said, his shoulders sagging.

"I won't say anything else, but I'm not lying when I say I'm not in the right place to start a relationship, but if you want to take the risk, then I'll make it a priority to do my best to ensure that I do you and this justice." Arisu felt her heart speed up. She felt lightheaded as a lightness sprang up from her gut to her mind. There was always hope that he would say yes, but she was expecting him to turn her down.

In fact, she had already prepared the gracious words she would say upon getting rejected because she didn't think she could come up with anything in the moment, as most of her concentration would have been spent trying to stop herself from ugly crying. … He had said yes. She hadn't figured out what she would do if he said yes.

"W-Why?" she uttered without intending to.

"I'm not complaining! I'm just…" He had said yes. Takuma shrugged.

"You're the responsible one between us. You know this is going to be horrible. But as you said, I'm ambitious, and those who have worked with me know that I like to take risks, which has served me well so far. I guess there's no harm in trying the same out in my personal life." He had said yes!

"Here you go: Yes, I'll go out with you, Arisu. Will you go out—" Takuma didn't get to finish his sentence when Arisu glomped him. His chair tipped back, and both of them landed on the solid granite tile floor of the gazebo in each other's embrace.

"YES!" ———. Takuma placed one hand on Arisu's lower back while the other one went to the back of her head as he was energetically tackled to the ground. He tilted his head forward to protect her as they hit the hard ground.

"YES!" Arisu screamed right next to his ear. It hurt; he had sensitive hearing. He smiled nevertheless, seeing how happy she was. It had pained him to see her so stony and obviously struggling as they had talked; knowing that he was the cause didn't sit well with him. It was true that he had not been fair to her. He hadn't answered her confession and avoided the entire thing with the fear that it might ruin their friendship.

He didn't make friends easily, and Arisu was someone he didn't want to lose, and despite that, he had made mistake after mistake that had nearly broken their relationship. He had given her the files on his dealings in the Narcotics Taskforce because he wanted to close a loose end and had left her alone to come to terms with his decisions—he had left the Police Force, but she was still there, making it her responsibility to deal with it all.

He should've approached her much sooner, but he had prioritised work, once again not doing so for her. If Arisu hadn't said it so bluntly, he wouldn't have realised how poorly he had treated her. Takuma stiffened when he felt her tighten her hug before relaxing in her embrace and hugging her back. Did he like Arisu romantically? Saying yes would be a lie. He didn't have the headspace to consider that avenue in life and relationships.

He had made friends, confidants, mentors—but a lover, that was another level of personal that he hadn't allowed himself to consider. He didn't think it was in his cards anytime soon. However, that didn't mean he couldn't give it a try. Did he like Arisu? Yes, absolutely. Her personality, kindness, confidence, loyalty, willingness to take charge—he considered all of that extremely attractive. Her being easy on the eye only made things better.

She understood him better than most people, and despite knowing how he lived his life, she still wanted to be with him. He didn't think he would get anyone better to date just on that basis alone. A lot of people started dating for much less. If he allowed himself, maybe, just maybe, it could work out… That would be nice, he thought. Ever since he had arrived in this world, all of his attention had been on preparation for future survival.

He had decided that he had to work hard now, so he could enjoy his life later in safety. And he had stuck to that. However, he did want to enjoy his life. Takuma was brought out of his thoughts when he felt Arisu nip at his ear, and it brought a grin to his face because he knew exactly what she was referencing.

"Remembering our first proper interaction?" he asked, laughing.

"It was a special day."

"You're lucky that I like you," Arisu said, gently biting his ear once more before snuggling her head into his shoulder. Maybe just one exception would be fine—allow himself just this one thing to keep him motivated. He had surely earned that much, hadn't he?