Chương 93: Book 3 - Chapter 16 B

Even though it was only three blocks to my favorite Tulsa building, with its green peaked roof, security insisted they drive me. We went up the elevator to the fourteenth floor of the Mid-Continent Tower where Heartland Media had its office.

"John!" Nick said, welcoming me into his office. A quick handshake and we sat in a couple of chairs around the table.

"I know I've said it before," I told him, "but congratulations on SyFy. Lars had nothing but praise for it when I met with him last."

"Thanks. I did follow your outline, but it was a surprise, even to me, how successful it has been. I'm particularly eager to talk to you about what you're planning for next."

"I'll be in New York later this year. I plan on getting access to the new Star Trek show to add to Star Trek Tuesdays."

"That would be great. There's only 79 episodes to cycle through, though according to Lars it is still popular."

"You should plan to add the cartoon version too, there are 22 episodes there. I'll make sure I get authorization for them when I'm in New York." He made a note.

"Good idea. Saturday's Marvel block is doing very well," he said, pivoting to the cartoons on SyFy.

"Yeah, I've usually got that playing all day on Saturdays at home. Everybody loves Spider-man," I said with a grin. Nick smiled, then turned a bit serious.

"I've been in contact with FNN," he said.

"I'm not sure if we really need them, since we have an automatic connection with American Wireless. Why can't we just do our own financial news network?"

"Because in cable, the only thing harder than getting viewers is getting the pipe," I explained, leaning back in the chair.

"American Wireless gives us an automatic outlet for anything we launch. The current timeline is eight years for total national coverage. But FNN has the distribution contracts we need now. They have the slot on the cable systems in front of millions of homes." I paused to let the point sink in.

"We can launch a global financial channel on its own, but it will take us two years and fifty million dollars in lobbying and affiliate fees to get the same penetration FNN already has. By then, a bigger shark—say, NBC—will have smelled the blood, bought FNN, and secured that slot forever."

"So you want FNN just for the pipe," Nick clarified.

"Exactly. We buy the pipe, we strip out their cheap, ugly programming, and we replace it with state-of-the-art content. We make a $20 million infrastructure acquisition instead of a $50 million fight for distribution. We replace their ticker tape with personality and analysis. The market isn't just New York and Chicago. We win before the competition even knows the game has started." Nick nodded slowly, tapping his pen against his pad.

"Brutal, but effective. So what do you want to call the new version?"

"I'm sure you'll come up with something catchier than FNN," I said, waving away the detail.

"The name isn't the key, the content is." I leaned forward, the intensity obvious.

"FNN fails because it is a wire service on TV—boring and static. We need to be the CNN of finance. We have to be fast, and we have to be engaging. We need two things FNN doesn't have.

"First: Speed and Data. We leverage dedicated lines from the world's stock markets to have the fastest, cleanest, most dynamic display of market data on the screen. We turn our newsroom into a high-tech command center with constant, breaking banners and live updates. We make it look and feel like the most essential source of real-time information in the world. Speed is trust."

"Second: Personality and Drama. The show can't just be numbers. It has to be people. We need hosts with strong opinions who act as translators and guides, explaining what the rise of the yen or the fall of a commodity means to the home investor's wallet. We need to turn the market into a spectator sport, where the Dow Jones is the championship game. People don't watch stocks. But they will watch the drama of money.

"It's not enough to be popular with traders. We have to be popular with the retiree in Tulsa trying to plan their portfolio.

"We capture the professionals with speed, and we capture the home viewer with explanation and personality. In the evenings we do high quality documentaries on the companies that make the market, attracting the affluent viewer. We want a channel that advertisers will love, because we'll have older wealthy viewers." Nick smiled, scribbling furiously.

"So we're going to make finance entertaining."

"Entertainment is key. We need each channel to go after a different demographic. For the next channel I'll need you to go shopping."

"What else am I buying?" he asked.

"Two minor and struggling cable channels. It doesn't matter what they carry. Just try to maximize coverage so that they have minimal overlap. They could be anything, the current content doesn't matter, the pipe does."

"So we combine two weak pipes into an immediate national presence. What does it carry?"

"Comedy."

"Comedy? Like sitcoms?" he asked.

"Everything funny. If somebody wants to laugh, they go to our channel. It'll be a cash cow, we'll turn the cheapest content imaginable into a dedicated dominant network. Old sitcoms that are still funny and stand-up comedy from clubs around the country. The key to sitcoms is a company called MTM, they have basically the entire library of classics 1970s comedy. Offer them cash for a non exclusive permanent syndication rights. There's also old black and white stuff that's cheap and hilarious.

Burns and Allen still kills after 35 years."

"I've never heard of that kind of syndication rights before. I've heard of exclusive syndication, and long-term syndication contracts," he said.

"Give it a try. If we have to buy the whole company to make it permanent, then that's what we do, but make the offer first. Rights to broadcast their entire library, regardless of method, permanently." He jotted it down.

"So what else, 1970s comedy isn't enough to be a cash cow. Where do we get the stand-up comedy?"

"Tulsa has a comedy club. Start there. Arrange to bring in famous people that normally wouldn't come to Tulsa so you can record their stand-up. They'll come for the TV exposure. If necessary invest in the club itself. Once you confirm it works, then start seeing if you can do the same at other famous comedy clubs to get the up-and-comers before they're famous. Let's make it both about comedy and new talent discovery." Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

"Okay, I've been to the local club. It's pretty good. I don't think it'll be hard to convince stand-up comedians to come to Tulsa."

"We'll cap it off with a weekly contest every Sunday night. People will send us their funny home videos and we'll play them. Handing out cash prizes each week to the top three. We get hours of funny stuff and only have to pay for the cash prize."

"I like the idea, what's the show called?"

"America's Funniest Home Videos. It'll need a host to give commentary, maybe a studio audience to vote on the funniest video to make it more democratic. Somebody fun, but cheap to hire," I said.

"So that's a medium-sized studio for a voting audience. We've got the space to do that here in the building." He made a few more notes.

"So those are our next two channels. Now you told me we needed to build a bigger studio space, neither of these need that. What's the plan there?" he asked.

"Food TV, that's the big one," I said.

"And you are right, the Comedy Channel just needs a single medium-sized studio for the home video show. But Food TV is different. We are not making a cooking channel, we are making a culinary sports league." I pulled out a small packet of paper from my briefcase.

"Our core competition show, the one that will drive huge ratings, is called Kitchen Stadium. Think of it as a massive, high-tech arena where master chefs battle each other using secret ingredients, all against a ticking clock."

"That sounds expensive," Nick noted, a mix of excitement and caution in his voice.

"It is. That's why we delay it until next year—to give us time to secure the distribution and let the Comedy and Finance channels generate cash. We need a studio large enough to contain this arena, plus dedicated kitchens, tasting booths and a huge audience area. We are turning cooking from a lecture into a sport, and the set has to match that high drama."

"I see the theme, it's all about entertainment," he said.

"Yeah, nobody reads a cookbook and afterwards tells their friends how riveting it is. We've got to be more than just a how to cook show. That's why it's Food TV not Cooking TV."

"So a high-octane competition with Kitchen Stadium. Who hosts the stadium?"

"We need a host that gives it gravitas and an exotic flair, someone completely unexpected, because this is going to be a spectacle. I want Pat Morita." Nick stopped writing.

"The Karate Kid guy? Hosting a cooking show?"

"He brings instant, global recognition and the sense of quiet authority and tradition the show needs. He's the perfect Chairman," I confirmed.

"And he's affordable right now. Next, we build the roster of Iron Chefs. We need the established guard—the one everyone knows. Get Graham Kerr, the Galloping Gourmet, as one of our first permanent Iron Chefs."

"Kerr is a great name," Nick agreed, nodding.

"He does healthy food. We need four others: modern fusion cuisine, an authority on Asian cuisine, classic French and a master of American regional. Get Wolfgang Puck, Martin Yan, Jacques Pépin and Emeril Lagasse. We'll only need to spend a few weeks a year filming, but sign them to long-term contracts so we can keep bringing them back as the masters to beat. We're not just hiring chefs, we're creating the first class of culinary TV celebrities. We are going to make cooking famous and profitable."

"That's just one show, that's not a channel," he said as he examined my notes on Kitchen Stadium.

"Offer them their own shows as well. They and Martha Stewart will be the faces of Food TV."

"Martha Stewart? Is she a chef?" he asked.

"She is the foundation for our lifestyle programming. Her book sales are phenomenal, and she has the trust of the affluent, female demographic that advertisers love. She'll be a fantastic judge on the first episode of Kitchen Stadium."

"So food and entertainment and sophisticated home dinner parties and decor?"

"Right. We will work with each of these to expand their TV and media presence. Start them in a small quiet studio first, sharing their favorite dishes. Once they get the hang of being on TV then offer them bigger opportunities."

"Like what?" he asked.

"Like Emeril Lagasse doing a live cooking show with a studio audience in New Orleans. It'll boost his income and we'll record and broadcast the shows."

"Okay, so don't be afraid to go big when they become media stars," he said, making a note.

"What else can we do to make it entertainment?"

"We can't do back-to-back cooking competitions, it will bring viewer fatigue, but we can do a couple different ones on different nights of the week."

"Oh? Like what else?"

"A chef battle. Four skilled but not yet famous chefs battle to make the best dish with a limited pantry and a mystery basket in thirty minutes. The worst dish gets chopped, so three rounds. Appetizer, Main and Dessert. Call it Chopped!"

"I like that, who judges?"

"Find a panel of five or six professional chefs that can judge, use a rotating panel of three. It'll take all day to do one episode, but it won't need much space. You'll need to find a host that gives the contestants their instructions, someone fussy and well-dressed." He smiled, as he considered the show.

"That sounds entertaining. I like that, Chopped! sounds like a great name for a show. An hour long?"

"Right. All our competition shows should be an hour long. Kitchen Stadium can even be longer. We'll do the same thing as we do with SyFy where we repeat the same primetime block for east and west coasts."

"It can't be all competitions though. It needs something more," he said.

"I agree. Find someone intelligent, with a good screen presence, and send them around the country then around the world to experience the best food out there. Not just restaurants, but street food and food trucks. Connect the location with the history and local delicacies. Stage things if you need to, it all comes together in editing anyway. No studio space needed, just a small crew to travel. Even better find a good looking younger couple, let them be romantic and adventurous on their world tour of food."

Nick tapped his pen on the pad, looking at the complex web of plans.

"Food: documentary style. Nice," he said.

"That gives me another idea," I told him.

"My Grandpa has all these hotels all over the country. Each one a fully restored beauty with a modern and amazing kitchen and staff. Start making documentaries of big events. The staff, the behind the scenes workers. Not just the cooks, but everybody as they work together to pull it off, and the cleanup afterwards in preparation for another day."

"Do I call your Grandpa for that?" he asked.

"Sure," I said.

"He'll probably send you to Megan Stoop. She handles staff training. She'd love to be on TV, and you can follow her around as she makes sure that the biggest events are run with perfection." I watched him process the information.

"There is one more key piece to the portfolio that is less about cash flow and more about global positioning and prestige: The Nature Channel."

"Nature and Wildlife?" Nick asked.

"Documentaries are expensive to produce."

"They are, but they are evergreen and highly marketable overseas, which is critical for future international expansion," I explained.

"We need to begin acquiring the rights to the highest quality, quietest wildlife footage from independent producers worldwide. Think of it as our 'Blue Chip' programming—it builds trust with an educated, affluent audience and provides content that can be easily syndicated globally. It's the counterpoint to the high-energy comedy and sports shows. Something that's stunning and soothing. Nature programming isn't just big game animals, it's vistas and locations. Bugs and birds.

Not like Wild Kingdom where every week you see a new African animal have sex." He laughed, understanding the point.

"Affluent audience, global reach, and prestige," Nick summarized, adding a final note to his pad.

"Got it."

"Finance is the prestige network, Comedy is the cash cow, Food TV is the spectacular, and Nature is the global asset," I confirmed.

"That's the blueprint for the next three years, Nick."

"Adding that onto SyFy, well that's a hell of a cable portfolio, John."

"Now you have your marching orders," I said, standing up.

"Our immediate acquisition budget is forty million dollars. I want the MTM library and the two struggling channels locked down as soon as you can. Get Comedy Central up and running before the end of the year. Get the big studio space finished for Kitchen Stadium and all the other Food TV shows. We'll start Food TV by this time next year, but make Kitchen Stadium a holiday event, we want more people at home when it starts. Accelerate the move to acquire FNN.

The key is to move on them before the larger sharks realize what we're doing." Nick nodded, quickly circling the key names on his pad.

"I'll start calling MTM today."

"Excellent. Give me a tour of what you have here. After we have lunch I've got to get home and harvest some basil."