Chương 161: Reborn as the Dragon — Chapter 161 - Don't Underestimate the Dung Ball

David Jones escaped, but not completely. Ohguchi Akase's panicked shout had already given away the direction he'd bolted. Su Nian wasted no time: he ordered the Gnolls, keenest noses in the whole operation, to pursue. Players could use invisibility skills, sure. But nothing had infinite cooldown. That would be broken beyond belief, the kind of thing only someone trying to hypnotize themselves would dream of. Sure enough, exactly as Su Nian predicted, David Jones began flickering back into view mid-sprint.

That mountain of flesh had nowhere to hide from Gnoll night vision.

"Motherfucker! How are these things like bloodhounds?! I can't shake them!" David Jones was panicking. He wasn't afraid of dying, he just didn't want to burn a resurrection here, of all places. In the dark, he moved like an enormous block of jelly. Every thundering footfall shook the ground. The fat on his body rippled and wobbled with each step, a full-body oscillation that made him impossible to miss. Grey Wolf didn't even need to concentrate. The big man practically announced himself.

"Damn it! You're forcing my hand!" The footsteps behind him were closing fast. David Jones spun around. Four hundred kilograms of him lurched to a stop, fat still catching up a half-second later. He was done running. If they wanted a fight, they'd get one.

"I may not be a warrior," he bellowed, "but this body is pure tankiness, and I hit like an assassin!" He yanked out his dagger. It looked roughly the size of a toothpick next to his fist. But at this moment, with a blade in his heart, nothing in the world was unbreakable.

"You want to chase me? Then you die here!"

"Instant Domain! Shadow Kill Formation!" His strongest skill detonated around him. Ten identical shadow guards split from his body, each inheriting thirty percent of his stats and a twenty percent speed bonus. Ten of him, attacking in unison, lethal under any normal circumstance. The only counter was to instantly identify and eliminate his true body before the formation could work. David Jones had never used this skill before. The cooldown was brutal, and it chewed through his stamina bar.

Besides, every enemy he'd ever faced here was too weak to bother. This Silver Treasure Chest skill had been sitting in reserve, waiting for a real fight. Today was that fight.

"Hehehe... a pack of wolf pups barely past level ten. This is where you end." He spread his arms wide.

"Satan will hear your confessions!" Grey Wolf, Banana Wolf, and the rest of the Gnolls found themselves surrounded by ten shadow guards. Their expressions, however, were not what David Jones expected. Not panic. Not alarm. Something closer to... confusion. This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. There were ten shadow guards, yes. Nine of them were identical. The tenth was wrong.

It flickered between incomplete and whole, shadow energy stuttering like a signal with bad reception, barely holding its shape together. Grey Wolf had been around. He took one look at the malformed shadow and knew exactly which one to hit. Without a word, he reached into his pocket and lobbed a small bundle wrapped in animal hide. David Jones saw Grey Wolf see through him instantly, that stung. But then he watched the wolf toss a round object in his direction, and the sting gave way to confusion.

He tossed an Appraisal skill at it out of reflex. [Dung Ball of the Tyrannosaurus Stink Bug, Little Red] David Jones: "... (? _?)" This. Just this? They were going to kill him with a dung ball? He almost burst out laughing. These monsters were openly disrespecting him.

"You dare use filth to trample on a warrior's dignity?!"

"Hehe — you'll pay for that arrogance!"

"Shadow Kill!" His shadow guards launched. All nine of them surged forward at once, converging on Grey Wolf and the Gnolls. His true body smiled with contempt. He pulled out a spare dagger and flicked it at the dung ball in a clean, casual throw. Precise dart technique was basic assassin curriculum. He didn't even look at it. The dagger hit the ball. The ball exploded. A wave of pungent, scorching stench detonated across him.

His face was soaked in an instant, chili oil and sewage, mixed, hot, and absolutely everywhere. His eyes slammed shut. His nasal passages caught fire. His throat seized.

"What in the— WHAT IS THAT?!"

"Is that, did Satan actually— URK" David Jones crumpled. He hit the ground like a felled tree, and in the final flickering second before he blacked out, he caught a glimpse of his health bar. Below it, a long line of red debuffs blinked at him. [Nausea] [Poisoned] [Intuition Impaired] [Smell Impaired] [Stomach Cramps] [Respiratory Tract Burns]... True body broken. Instant Domain Shadow Kill Formation: cancelled. The nine shadow guards that had been mid-pounce simply winked out of existence.

Grey Wolf and the Gnolls stood in the sudden quiet, looking at one another. Every set of wolf eyes said the same thing: cunning and barely contained amusement. The running tally was clear. Nobody who underestimated Little Red's dung ball had ever come out of it well. Before them hung a thick crimson haze, acrid and rolling, the toxic cloud from the explosion. Even the Gnolls kept their distance, waiting as a forest breeze slowly pulled the gas apart. Only once the air cleared did they approach.

Grey Wolf stared down at David Jones for a long moment. Hard to imagine. How does a human eat his way to a size like this? He gave the man's side a solid pat. The flesh responded with a resounding series of slaps. Grey Wolf clicked his tongue. [Still alive. Take him back. Let the master decide what to do with him.] He ordered the Gnolls to pull on their gloves. Two to a leg, they hoisted the mountain of flesh and began the trek back to the dragon's lair.

Su Nian coiled above the lair, studying his three new captives. One was a stocky man with a thin mustache, ID: Ohguchi Akase. Cherry Blossom player, obviously. The second was a familiar face, Yamaguchi Mura Chicken. Though his current outfit was... genuinely difficult to describe. Su Nian didn't try. The third was the mountain of flesh: brown hair, Caucasian features. Europa player, Su Nian guessed. Or possibly someone from the Beautiful Country. Either way. All three, neatly delivered.

A cold, sharp smile split his face. Yamaguchi Mura Chicken had made a habit of showing up at the lair to cause problems. That couldn't go unanswered. First stop: Banana Wolf's care. Ten days minimum. The man was eating accordingly. As for Ohguchi Akase. With a name like that. It would practically be a waste not to put some golden juice to good use. The two Sakura players' fates were settled in a heartbeat. Su Nian shifted his gaze to David Jones. The man was still out cold.

Su Nian flagged down a Kobold, who promptly upended a full basin of icy, stale water over the prone figure. David Jones's whole body convulsed. The unconscious debuff flickered twice on whatever unseen panel tracked these things, then faded out.

"Oh! GOD! Where, where am I?!" He opened his eyes. Monsters. Everywhere he looked, monsters. And directly above him: a massive, ferocious black dragon's head, staring down with bottomless, sinister eyes. Every creature in sight was looking at him with the same expression. Like they'd already decided what to do with him.

"Oh no. Oh no no no, " David Jones screamed. The sound that came out of him was genuinely remarkable, the high, raw, full-throated shriek of someone whose situation had just become terrifyingly clear.. (The author's ears have been devoured.) ➤ Next: A Brand New Play Method