Chương 108: Family Planning

"Well," I said, unsure exactly what to say. I hadn't felt this awkward since I was a teenager. Tala waited. Although I was curious what else would be shown, I picked up the remote and turned the television off. Tala hadn't moved from the armrest. Her tail had gone still and she was watching me.

"You've been avoiding it," she said.

"I've been busy," I said. Even to me, the excuse sounded pitiful.

"That's true," Tala said.

"And every time it got quiet enough to talk about it, you found something else to focus on. You've been avoiding it." Yeah, I didn't think she would buy that, I thought. I sat back down in the recliner, suddenly tired and tried to compose myself. Tala seemed to understand, and said nothing. She just waited for me.

"A lot has happened since I was reincarnated as a raccoon. That, by itself, would be something I imagine most people would take a while to come to terms with," I said as I started trying to organize my thoughts.

"That's true, which is one reason I've been patient, very patient," Tala agreed, although apparently grudgingly.

"Yes, you have. And thank you. Anyway, I've also noticed that I've been changing lately." Tala leaned her head to the side and gave me a slit-eyed look. However she said nothing and just waited for me to explain.

"I thought at first it might be because I literally had a life-and-death-and-life experience." I glanced at her to see if that would get a response, but she just frowned.

"I also worried it might be because I was a trickster spirit. I wasn't sure if I could trust myself. After all, I was a loner before, but now I'm surrounded by family and friends. This is new territory for me." Tala looked like she was about to move closer to me, but then stopped herself.

"Go on."

"The thing is, I like the new me. I love my new life, even if it is," I paused to shrug before continuing, "whatever this is. Despite this, I really hate change, which is a weird thing for a trickster spirit to say. Maybe because of this I've been a little grumpy and standoffish." Her tail flicked once as she nodded. I wasn't sure whether she was agreeing with me or urging me to continue. She was right and I'd known it for a while. I just hadn't been ready to say it out loud.

"I've been avoiding things that needed to be addressed and that's not fair to you."

"I wasn't going to force anything," Tala said.

"But I also wasn't going to pretend the elephant wasn't in the room forever."

"You have," I said.

"You've also been getting grumpier each day, and so have I." She didn't deny it. I leaned back in the recliner and looked at the ceiling.

"Really, I have nothing to complain about. I have family, friends, and the power to stand up to the government. I really don't have that much to worry about." Tala's face scrunched up. Clearly, she didn't know where I was going with this. Actually, neither did I. I was basically just babbling out like a nervous teenager. Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.

"I'm not worried about Ignis's parents. When they show up, they're going to find their kid healthy and protected by a god. If anything, they'll probably reward me.

"Probably," Tala agreed.

"The churches don't worry me either," I said.

"Marcus and Tyler and Bambi and all of them. I don't know what I'm doing half the time, but I'm trying to do it right. Even if I screw up, it's not the end of the world." I smiled at what I just said. Actually, I guess it is already the end of the world. Pushing those thoughts to the side, I continued, ""The ratkin aren't even a real issue," I said.

"Marcus left them a gift. We'll see what they do with it. If they want to trade, we trade. If they want to talk, we talk. If they want a war, well, there are plenty of adventurers who would love to gain experience. So that's not a real worry." Tala shifted her weight, but continued to listen.

"I'm not even worried about Mort any more. Claire mentioned he's been getting invitations from towns that want their junk cleared. That's fine. The Liminal Lands can handle whatever he brings in and Lifna needs the material. I'm going to keep expanding the domain." I stopped for a second because the next part was something I hadn't told anyone yet.

"I want to make it into something real. Not just a place I store things. If something genuinely bad happens, something we can't fight our way out of, I want it to be somewhere my people can go and be safe." Tala went still.

"I know how that sounds," I said.

"It sounds like I haven't changed at all and I'm still prepping for the future. I suppose that's true." I sighed here, and forced myself to say it.

"The thing is, in the past, I didn't care much what happened to anyone else. I was preparing for me. I wanted to survive. Now I am preparing for others. I want everyone to survive."

"That's a good thing," Tala said as she climbed up next to me.

"Pierre and Shelly," I said.

"Claire and Luke. Loki. Bambi and the congregation. Mort. Tyler and Marcus and their people." I could feel the faith threads running out to all of them, each one distinct.

"They're my family. I don't know exactly when that happened. But it did and I'm not pretending otherwise anymore."

"I know," Tala said while hugging me.

"You're my family," I said.

"Not because Gaia sent me a notification about it. Because you've been here through all of it and you put up with me even when I was being an idiot, which was most of the time."

"Most of the time," she agreed as she leaned against my side.

"I'm done avoiding things," I said.

"Whatever our life looks like, I want to figure it out with you. Kids and all, if that's what happens."

"Well, we don't have to talk about kids just yet. That's a conversation we can have later," Tala said. I smirked, noticing that the consummation was not going to something I could put off much longer. I still wasn't quite ready for it, but I knew it would happen, and probably soon. We sat there for a while without talking, at least until a notification appeared with a ding. EVOLUTION TO PLANAR WILL. Gift Unlocked. Causality: Probability bends to your will. MESSAGE FROM GAIA. My boy is finally growing up.

I sat there thinking about what Causality actually meant in practical terms and whether I was going to immediately do something stupid with it, which Gaia had already anticipated. That was probably why she hadn't unlocked it. Apparently, she was waiting until I was emotionally ready or something. Typical psychoanalytical bullshit, but whatever. So planar will was what the question marks was about. Interesting. I had to wonder if Gaia was a planar will or was she more like Lifna.

I didn't even have to wonder about what she meant by it. It obviously referred to the Liminal Lands. It actually wasn't that important to me. It would take who knew who long to turn my personal dimensional plane into something that would actually make a difference, even with Mort staying as busy as a beaver. Still, it did give me a goal to work toward, which was nice. Smiling, I looked at the dark television screen. Our reflections looked back at us, a raccoon and a squirrel in a recliner in our cabin.

"So," I said.

"So," Tala said.

"We were talking about something before the notification."

"We were," she agreed. Before we could continue the conversation, a knock sounded on the door. Then, without waiting for us to answer, my old body opened the door and stepped through. Raven.