Chương 160: A Turning Point

In truth, Youngwoo's change had begun with his studies. As he studied, he changed. More precisely, as he learned to look at himself, he began to see what kind of person he was. What did it even mean for a man to look at himself? Perhaps people live like unruly children because they cannot see themselves. If a person could watch everything he did from an objective distance, from the view of a third person, or from the height of a second floor several paces away, he would not live in the same way.

But through the study of seeing himself, that clumsy human conduct was laid bare before him. It was not a matter of taking some measure to become a kind and good person. He simply saw himself living in a way that felt unbearable. The self he imagined and the self seen from the eyes of another were completely different. How shabby, narrow-minded, short-sighted, rude, and filthy he was could hardly be put into words. Everything done under the belief that others were not watching became a nauseating reality.

Perhaps the extreme end of that was the killing of one's own kind. After seeing how they handled the aftermath of battle, Youngwoo turned aside and retched. Were these truly the men who had risked their lives fighting beside him? Were these the comrades, the brothers-in-arms, whose bond he had once thought stronger and more beautiful than friendship? A person can look different simply after watching him slaughter a chicken nearby. But Youngwoo had seen them kill people. The battlefield had another texture.

There, one had to survive and accomplish the purpose of the fight. The nature of the work was mixed into the killing. But what they did after the battle was close to the killing of their own kind. Even when told to stop, they would not listen. Their eyes had turned. There seemed to be no way to turn back a soul steeped in evil. It would go on until a soul seized by evil stopped of its own accord. Perhaps even that had already hardened into their culture.

It was a time when looking away seemed the only thing he could do. Youngwoo spoke honestly of what was in his heart.

"To be honest, I thought of quitting. After seeing those cruel punishments, I began to ask myself whether helping you was truly something that fit within sound common sense. Stolen story; please report. The thought kept going without end. One thing is clear. I did not help the Jurchens only because of the command of the Goryeo court. I cannot refuse such a command.

But the reason I became this deeply involved was because of the oppression and unjust treatment you told me about, and because of the anger you showed toward it. It was the feeling that if my friend was suffering, how could I remain still? If people's heads roll through the marketplace, and retaliation follows retaliation without end, I may leave. I spoke before preparing myself, so my words are wandering again. If the cruel retaliation does not stop, I will withdraw." The atmosphere froze.

This was no longer a complaint, nor a suggestion to be accepted or rejected. He was saying that if things continued in this way, he would leave. Youngwoo knew. These men treated human life lightly. They might not feel much regret over one man leaving. After the Battle of Buyeobu, his heart had cooled. Now, even the act of leaving no longer made him hesitate. Sending a letter to the court, writing a statement of resignation, and drawing out part of the Goryeo force could be done with a single letter.

He could not remain with cruel men. He could not stand beside the wicked. The moment he stood in that place, he would appear to be one of them. Who, seeing a man stand beside murderers at the scene of cruel killing, would think him different from them? Standing beside evil men was no different from recognizing and supporting their evil deeds. Only now did that truth remain heavily in his chest. It made him look back and ask why he had stood beside them.

Even if he believed he had done no wrong, he had still helped support their evil deeds. Youngwoo stared ahead in silence, his face set with resolve. His gaze rested on the distant view visible through the slight opening in the tent. He fixed his eyes on the current lying beyond it. When Youngwoo said that he would withdraw, everyone in the room was startled. He was not merely one guest commander from Goryeo. At every great turning point in the transformation of the Jurchens, he had been there.

From Goryeo's return of the Nine Fortresses, to the rearming of the Jurchens, to various reforms, and all the way to the great work of founding a state, his judgment had been woven into the current. The young warriors of the Wanyan clan fell silent. Plunder and revenge were part of an ongoing current. To cut off that current would not be easy. It could affect the morale of those who had fought with them. It could even shake the reasons for which they had fought. This problem went beyond one person's cruel revenge.

It touched the cultural feeling of Liaodong itself. Yet Jungnangjang Lee Youngwoo was also a man of that much weight. Had it been someone else, they might have let him go. No one could bring himself to say that. Wanyan Zonghan spoke haltingly.

"We will persuade the soldiers. We will issue a prohibition. We will ask the other tribes to do the same. So please, withdraw only those words about leaving." His first answer was that he would stop it on a personal level. If that were enough to settle the matter, it would already have passed. Youngwoo shook his head.

"No. I have stayed here too long. I find myself looking back and wondering what need made me remain here so long. I must decide when to leave. You have done no wrong. I do not dislike you. I can no longer watch cruel revenge. When I said you should absorb them in an organized way for the future of the empire, perhaps that was only a means of persuasion. I will speak honestly. I can no longer accept that cruelty. Even that must take place within the bounds of law. Let me ask you this.

At the ceremony of founding, the Great Khan spoke of Hambo, who established the law of this land. Would he have permitted this? I feel some hesitation in raising his name here. But I believe his intention would not have differed from this." Wanyan Xiyin, one of the key advisers belonging to the imperial clan, asked,"Jungnangjang, are you saying there must be no killing outside the battlefield, and no private revenge?"

"Yes."

"And that this must be established properly as law?"

"Yes. I ask this immediately." Xiyin asked cautiously,"If we do not take action, do you mean you will leave?"

"Yes. A man like me can be cast aside easily." Youngwoo smiled awkwardly and looked away.

"Understood. I will report this matter to the Great Khan and receive approval. Please give us a little time." Youngwoo shook his head.

"Stop the cruel killing happening before my eyes now."

"Ah…" No one thought to accept it at once. Many believe things will change with time. They believe that if people change, the atmosphere will change as well. There are many who believe the situation will flow in the direction they desire if they simply remain still. Nature creates its own current.

"I will receive the Great Khan's approval now. We will issue a prohibition and proclaim that private revenge will be punished by law."

"Please do so. I ask it of you." After speaking at such length, Youngwoo seemed drained. He looked as weary as a man who had fought a great battle.