Chương 119: CDM 2, Chapter 55: Door to Door

On a sunny midday, Megan and I went into the basement of a Hill District house with an inflatable raft. As much as we tried to tiptoe, every board left inside was brittle from decades of weather pouring through broken windows. I paused to consider a porcelain curiosity in the basement, but Megan bumped my shoulder. We moved a sheet of wood to the side and gently placed the raft five or so feet into the low, brick tunnel. Megan counted down from three and triggered the CO2 inflator.

In a violent burst, the raft unfolded and expanded, wedging itself into the space. This particular boat was rated for whitewater rafting. We didn't expect it to be indestructible, but if it could handle bashing off of jagged river rocks, we hoped it could at least slow down a fleeing troll. Back outside, we hopped into the backseat of my car. Beth drove while Nathan piloted Kimmy from the passenger seat. No, she still didn't have her license.

"What the hell was that?" I asked.

"A Pittsburgh toilet," Megan answered.

"I don't get it."

"What are you arguing about?" Beth asked, glancing back at us. I pointed out the front window.

"Please look at the road. There was a toilet in the middle of the basement. No walls. No sink. Just on a pedestal all alone."

"Seriously?" Nathan sighed.

"It's a Pittsburgh toilet. Not a big deal."

"You say that like it's normal," I said.

"Because it is, dude. You got an old-ass house with one bathroom? Stick the toilet in the basement where you can tie it in to the plumbing real easy." I shook my head.

"That doesn't make sense. No walls, no doors?"

"How often do you go into a basement with someone? You're overthinking it, man. Honestly, I liked the freedom. The one in our house felt very open and free." Megan leaned forward to interrupt the discussion.

"We're troll hunting, remember?" Beth parked.

"Here good?"

"Yep," Nathan answered as he flew Kimmy in the second-story window and down both sets of stairs to the basement. We watched quietly as the drone slipped into the squat tunnel. Kimmy hovered in place and switched between night vision and thermal. The distance ahead was definitely warmer, but none of it was troll-shaped. Creeping forward, Kimmy took us down the graffiti-filled tunnel. That was an obvious sign people had been here, as were the beer cans, food wrappers, and buckets.

"We knew it was long, but damn," Nathan said, his voice tense with focus.

"There's an intersection ahead."

"Straight takes us to the raft, right?" Megan asked.

"Yep." So Kimmy turned the corner and flipped to thermal. Nathan whistled.

"Lots of heat down there. What do you guys want to do?"

"Hold there until we get into position," Megan said, sliding her helmet on. I did the same. By the time I was out of the backseat, Megan had the trunk open and had a shiny new bear trap under her arm. She handed me a drone signal repeater. Down the street, two old ladies getting groceries out of their car looked at us with their mouths agape. I waved, and they hustled up their porch steps to get inside. I followed Megan around the back of the house, through an unlocked door, and down the stairs to the basement.

Megan's strength stat was higher than mine, so she had no problem prying the teeth open to set the bear trap. I set the repeater inside of the tunnel. That would ensure that Kimmy wouldn't lose signal if she flew deeper. According to the specs, that shouldn't be an issue, but for how much Kimmy cost, I insisted we play it safe. The bear trap, well, we debated this tactic for a long time before agreeing to put it into play.

If the troll ran into the city, we were likely to lose it, and running through the streets with weapons drawn seemed unwise as well, so we agreed that a backup plan was a good idea. Traps were an obvious solution, but setting booby traps anywhere was a crime, and we had just filmed ourselves placing one. When we had debated it upside down and sideways, we decided keeping the troll from escaping was worth the risk. Beth's job, other than driving, was to watch the street so Nathan could focus on piloting Kimmy.

We definitely didn't need a homeless person stumbling into our bear trap by accident.

"No movement yet," Nathan said through our earpieces. Crouching to not hit our heads, we ventured deeper. Despite the close quarters, I had my bow ready. Megan had a sword and a shield. She would bring the troll down so I could follow with a breach pen and fry it. The bow was a precaution if the troll fled, or, given the length of the tunnel, if it ran at us from a distance. Yes, we took Dawit's advice about the breach pens.

I wasn't entirely surprised that bear traps were easy to order, but the breach pens shocked me. For $90 you could have a portable thermite reaction capable of cutting clean through chain link. It was a one-time use, but still. Megan's head jerked. The smell hit me too. This wasn't a goblin waste. It was death–dried blood and rotting meat, so potent that you worried how much of the air in your lungs was oxygen and how much was the gas leaching out of the carcass.

I realized, though, that it wasn't as bad as it used to be. I was starting to get used to that smell after all these runs.

"Still nothing," Nathan announced. Megan waved a hand in front of Kimmy's camera to signal Nathan.

"Moving in," he said. Kimmy floated forward. This tunnel wasn't as long as the main one. I didn't want to flick a flashlight down it to get a better look and alert the troll, so Nathan's eyes would be our eyes. The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

"It's in here and sleeping. This room is about twice the size of the one you came in. I don't see any other exits. I'm backing out now." Megan tapped me on the shoulder and held a finger up to ask me to wait. She hustled back down the tunnel. Kimmy appeared in front of me.

"Where'd she go?" Nathan asked. I shrugged.

"Ohhh shiiiit I love it." Turning around, I saw Megan returning with the bear trap. I'll be honest, I loved the idea too. She made our gesture that meant "cover me" and went toward the troll's den. Kneeling to keep my bow from scraping the brick ceiling, I readied an arrow. Megan set the bear trap just outside the den. She turned and gave me a thumbs up. I nodded. I was ready to go too. She pulled the string on a flare and threw it into the room with the troll. Crashing and thrashing immediately followed.

The troll scrambled to get out of the lair and shrilled when the bear trap snapped shut around its ankle. Megan pressed herself against the tunnel wall to clear the way for me. I drew and loosed. Desperate, the troll lunged down the tunnel, the trap screeching as it dragged across the ground. Megan sprung into action with Rapid-Attack, following her first stab with a blur of thrusts. Dropping my bow, I grabbed two breach pens and crept as close to a Machine Gun brawler build as I dared.

Megan bowled forward, knocking the troll on its back with her shield, following it down to pin it. I came in behind, sparked the breach pens, and jammed them into the troll's head. It kicked and spasmed, but Megan had already done a number on its face, so it moaned and grunted rather than screamed. Then it stopped.

"Is it dead?" Megan asked. After a few slaps of the troll's face, I answered, "Yeah. It's dead."

"Phew. Good shit, Dorion. Fuck yeah." We bumped fists.

"Uhh… guys," Nathan said over our headsets. He had taken Kimmy into the troll's lair for a more thorough investigation. He had to be quick before to avoid waking the troll.

"What?" Megan spun to look behind us.

"You might not want to look in there." Now we had to look, and as usual, Nathan was right. I could have done without seeing inside the troll's den. At one point, this paved over basement chamber was an exceptional sanctuary for at least two homeless people, and I could see the appeal. It was warm, quiet, and secluded. Before a troll found it, it was probably pretty safe too. Trolls don't strip their kills down to the bone the way goblins do, which was a new insight for me.

The vital organs the troll didn't care for stayed with the remains, all of which were spread around the den. Dogs, cats, birds, squirrels, and at least four people. Too little was left to determine anything about who they were, but I figured at least one of them had to be the unlucky resident who lived down here first.

"Fuck," Megan whispered.

"Yeah. We should get out of here."

"Good idea." Megan pried the trap off of the dead troll. She kicked it one more time to confirm it was definitely dead. We followed Kimmy out, and I grabbed her out of the air to spare Nathan the hassle of flying back to the car. The same two old ladies from before watched as Megan and I came around the house and onto the street. At first, I thought it was our gear catching our attention, but no. It was definitely all the blood. For sure.

We were going to turn more heads when we got out of the car again to collect our inflatable raft a few minutes up the street As I got in the car, I started, "We should call-""Already on it," Beth said, pointing to her phone.

"Yes, I'd like to report a monster sighting…" We clinked glasses at Megan's apartment.

"I think that was pretty damn smooth," Nathan observed.

"You guys really work well together," Beth said.

"Bethward," Nathan scoffed.

"How dare you not include yourself in that." Beth smiled.

"Thanks."

"I'm excited to see how this one comes out," Megan added.

"I think this format is going to work." Nodding, I said, "I think so too." Nathan put an arm around Megan.

"If Tim's trail cams catch something, we're so golden. Following a troll hunt episode with one on frost wolves would crush."

"Are you committing to that answer? Do you think it's a frost wolf?" He shrugged.

"I think a frost wolf could manage the summer if it had to. All the other choices are too fantastical. A cerberus? Werewolf? Shadow Mastiff? Crazy talk."

"You know, you and I should go out there again," I said.

"There was a trailer park near the farm, that old mine, and maybe we visit the town up the road. See if anyone has heard something."

"An hour is not 'up the road,'" Beth said, laughing. She was already a little drunk. I probably was too. I waved Beth away, not looking away from Nathan.

"I'm serious. Let's poke around and talk to some people if we can. I'll still be on leave, and you've got a few days off, right?"

"That's true, but I'm actually busy."

"Oh. I didn't think you were looking for more side work."

"I'm not, so I suppose this is the part where I say, 'I have news,' because… well, yeah. I have news," Nathan announced.

"The building permits for the guildhouse should come through tomorrow. I have a few carpenters scheduled to help us open up the floors like we want, but once the bones are taken care of, I can take it from there." By opening up the floor, Nathan meant creating an atrium-style setup where if we were in the common area on the second floor, we could look up to a balcony or something above us and talk to someone on the third floor.

In his mind, that was important for keeping us in the common spaces instead of the guildhouse turning into a boring apartment building. Nathan had a vision. I couldn't understand it but also didn't need to. He bought the building and knew what he wanted, and he was the one making it happen.

"The first floor is going to stay commercial space," he continued.

"Basically, the Dungeon Divas will 'pay' us to rent the space, and we'll work out of there. Beth could have a real office, and we need a better place to store all our gear. I love you guys, but I'd be so happy to not get a whiff of dead goblin from the kit in the closet or to not stub my toe on a bear trap."

"I don't understand what the renting part means," Beth admitted.

"It's a tax and liability thing," Nathan explained.

"Before anyone starts accusing me of abandoning my scruples, know that I think this is really stupid, but this is the game. Anyway, we did work for this home improvement company that has locations all over the country. One company owns the land, and another company pays rent to use the land. Both are owned by the same family.

"You pay less taxes because of dividends or some shit, but it also protects you. If their store gets sued into oblivion, they don't lose the property too, because that's a totally different company."

"That is stupid."

"My boy Lenny was all about the shell game. I shouldn't have drank as much as I did that night. I wish I could remember more of what he said. But yeah, that setup works really well for our situation."

"This is exciting," I said.

"I can't believe you're doing all of this for us. I'm grateful, though. Sounds like a cool place to live."

"I get a lot out of this too, bro. All my favorite people in one place? It's exactly what I want." Megan's phone buzzed. She looked at the screen for a moment and frowned. Nathan bumped her knee with his.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"There was a rumor going around that we would have to work the memorial service. Turns out it's true."

"How do you work a memorial?" Nathan asked.

"Ushers. Flag holders. Set dressing. Are they dragging you in, Dor?" I checked my email.

"Nothing for me. I guess leave counts for this too."

"That makes sense, and I shouldn't complain. Not about something like this. Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the vibe." Nathan leaned forward and squeezed her knee with one hand.

"You didn't. I mean, seeing that shit go down made me believe in this idea even more. Life is too short, dudes, so fuck it. We're building a goddamn clubhouse."