Chương 9: Conflicting Feelings

POV: The Hero, Evelisse Ardentia The Kingdom of Astrea was amongst the biggest and most prosperous in Lycora. It was where the Central Church stood, cooperating with the kingdom in delivering Lord Luminaryn's messages and revelations. When there were such revelations, relevant parties would be called to meet with the High Priest in a private building within the Church's complex. In the case of grand revelations, even the King himself would have to visit the site. Today was among such cases.

I was woken early, just past dawn, by a chirp. My house sat far from the others, tucked against the treeline at the edge of Astrea, and the seclusion meant birdsong often pulled me from sleep before the sun had fully risen. I had grown used to it; the ordinary trill of sparrows, the low coo of doves nesting under the eaves. But this chirp was different. Sharper. Clearer.

A clean, ringing note that did not belong to any common bird, repeating in slow, deliberate intervals, as if it were calling for someone in particular. For me, most likely. I rose and went outside in my sleepwear; a loose white shift that hung to my knees, the fabric thin enough to catch the morning chill. My hair was down, unbound for once, falling past my shoulders. Circling above my house was a Heavenly Bird. It was a slender, graceful thing, its feathers a soft, luminous blue.

Long tail feathers trailed behind it as it wheeled overhead, and its eyes shone a paler blue still. The Heavenly Birds were messengers of the Church, raised and blessed within the cathedral to carry letters across the kingdom. It descended toward me and hovered, wings beating quick and steady to hold itself aloft. A small sealed letter rested in its beak. I reached up and took it. The moment my fingers closed around the parchment, the bird wheeled away and climbed back into the sky, gone within moments.

The letter was wrapped in blue and closed with a seal of the Church pressed into wax; a crescent moon with rays fanning out from behind it, and a sword laid vertically through the center. I only ever received these letters when the Church had need of me. When there was some evil to be vanquished. So I cannot say I felt any joy at the sight of it. I stepped back inside and sat at my dining chair — one I had scarcely used in months. There had been no time for it.

The battle against the last Dark Lord had kept me constantly on the move, sleeping in tents and saddle-camps more often than under my own roof. I broke the seal and unfolded the letter. It was short. Come to the Revelation Hall as soon as you can. Alone. So I did. I dressed and strapped on my light armor, the familiar weight of it settling over my shoulders like an old, unwelcome friend. I gathered my hair and tied it back up into its usual high ponytail, then I thought of Mel.

After what had happened yesterday, she would come looking for me before long. Knowing her, she might already be on her way. I tore off a scrap of paper and scrawled a quick note: Summoned to the Church. I pressed it against my front door and stepped out. It was only then it occurred to me that I had not eaten since yesterday morning. The Church was within walking distance of my house; a necessity, for convenient summonings such as this morning's.

The Hero is granted a private residence by the Church, deliberately set apart from the bustling central district to avoid drawing unwanted attention. Being the Hero invites no small amount of risk, after all; the title attracts both admiration and resentment. As I walked, I spotted Mel in the distance. As if sensing me, she turned her head, and our eyes met. She waved and broke into a jog toward me, clutching a small pack to her chest. I could guess what was in it.

"Hey, Eve! Heading out to the church this early?" She shoved her hand into the bag, took out a bun, and handed it to me. I took it and bit in. Soft, squishy bread gave way to a moist, savory filling. It was meaty, with a faint thread of sweetness running underneath. It bloomed across my tongue, and I knew at once what it was. A Justice Bun. I had always thought the name was strange. Lazy, even.

But Astrea was the kingdom every Hero came from, and a place like that accrued its own peculiar share of branding over the years. The bun, supposedly, embodied a philosophy: that justice was equal, owed to all and denied to none. And so the bun was priced cheaply enough that anyone could afford one, peasant or noble alike. I tried to chew slowly.

But my stomach, given its first taste of food in nearly a day, had other ideas; it twisted with a sudden, sharp hunger, and before I knew it I was taking quick bites in succession. Mel gave me an amused look.

"I knew it. You haven't eaten since yesterday morning."

"Sorry," I said, my mouth still full of meat and soft, perfect bread. We walked side by side toward the Church. As we went, Mel asked whether we would have to return to Aniaros Forest, and whether the Church had arranged any kind of backup this time. I shook my head.

"The High Priest told me last night to wait for Lord Luminaryn's revelation. He summoned me to the Revelation Hall this morning, so I suppose we'll find out soon."

"Can I come with you?" Mel asked, her eyes bright with curiosity.

"Unfortunately, the letter specified for me to go alone. You would have to wait outside of the Church complex."

"Shucks." She deflated, then brightened just as quickly.

"Then I'll wait for you. And if Lord Luminaryn gives you the day off, how about we visit the central district?"

"For what? I don't think there's anything I need." Mel quickened her pace, stepped in front of me, and stopped. She gave me a flat look.

"That, right there, is exactly why you don't seem happy, and why you've got no boyfriend, Eve. All you ever think about is the Church and vanquishing evil. You should take it easy for once." Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. I didn't think wandering the central district would suddenly make me happy. But if I refused her now, I would never hear the end of it.

"... Fine. We can go, if there are no duties today."

"Great! Oh, there's this new perfume shop I want to check out, too. They say they have a scent that makes you smell like a maiden in love!" She spun back around and fell into step beside me, practically bouncing. Love. It was a word I rarely used. I knew Lord Luminaryn and the Church loved all their subjects. I knew the King loved his citizens. I knew parents loved their children, and that people could be drawn to one another, romantically — that was love too. I loved Mel.

And yet I almost never said the word aloud, nor let myself dwell on it. Was it because I had so few friends, and no family of my own? Or simply because I had never been given the time to learn what the word truly meant? Then it came back to me. The Dark Lord stepping between me and the Cerberus, and when he introduced himself afterwards. The way my heart had hammered and my face had gone hot. I had used that same word to name what happened to me at that moment. But had it truly been love?

Was that why my hand had refused to bring Mooncleaver down on him? Could love really bloom so suddenly, so easily? Perhaps, I would have to see the Dark Lord again to know.

"Eve!" Mel's voice snapped me back.

"Were you even listening?"

"Sorry. What did you say?"

"I said," she huffed, "that we should bring more food if we end up going out there again. I'll stuff my pack with food and water this time. Since apparently my best friend is too busy fretting over her duty to remember her own basic needs." I gave her a small smile and nodded.

"Thank you, Mel." She smiled back. And I wondered how I could ever begin to tell her about everything going on inside my head. Mel waited outside the Church complex while I stepped into the Revelation Hall alone. It was not the High Priest's chamber. This was the hall reserved for Lord Luminaryn's revelations; vast, silent, its vaulted ceiling lost in shadow far above. And this morning, I was not the only one summoned.

The King himself stood near the altar, his crown catching the thin light that filtered down from the high windows. I bowed low. Whatever this was, it was greater than a routine summons. The High Priest did not waste words.

"The Dark Lord is gaining strength," he said.

"Faster than we anticipated. As matters stand, we do not have the manpower to put him down." The High Priest continued, "Early this morning, we received word that the Dark Lord visited another village. Milly." My breath caught. Lunareth surfaced behind my eyes; the crushed flower fields, the burning thatch, the old woman crying, the devastation on the faces of the villagers.

"Were there casualties?" I asked, before I could stop myself.

"None." The High Priest's gaze flicked to me.

"A single cart was damaged. Nothing more. But the Dark Lord made a demand of them. A daily tribute of food, delivered to the edge of Aniaros Forest." The King frowned.

"Food? Why would a Dark Lord want food from a peasant village? The last one made no such demands."

"To feed his power, most likely." The High Priest folded his hands.

"A Dark Lord thrives on fear. To threaten a village with destruction should they fail him, to make them live each day under that shadow, is a method of harvesting it. I suspect he is testing which yields more: terror sustained over time, or terror through sheer destruction." He let that settle, then added, "Consider Lunareth. He razed it yesterday. Yet, thanks to Hero Evelisse's arrival, not a single life was lost. With Milly, he seems to have chosen restraint.

Perhaps because mass destruction draws too much attention. Attention he is not yet strong enough to withstand." It made sense. The Dark Lord's minions were powerful, but the Dark Lord himself was not. I had seen it. He had barely scratched the Cerberus when we first met, and I still did not understand why he had thrown himself between it and me at all. Whatever the reason, he was no warrior. Drawing the eyes of every kingdom this early would only make him an easy mark.

"Then let me send more men," the King said, leaning forward.

"Enough to guarantee it. Strike now, while he is vulnerable."

"That is feasible, Your Majesty—if you are willing to spend a great many of those men." The High Priest's voice was quiet, almost gentle, which somehow made it worse.

"But I would ask you to consider. The kingdom has scarcely recovered from the last Dark Lord. Most of our veteran soldiers lie dead or maimed. Would you gamble what little remains on a single throw?" The King opened his mouth. Then closed it. He had no answer.

"There may be no need." The High Priest turned, and for the first time his expression shifted — something almost reverent crossing his lined face.

"Lord Luminaryn has shown us another path. For the first time, the one who stands next-in-line for the title of Hero shall be sent forth. He will help vanquish the Dark Lord. As soon as tomorrow." The words did not fit together in my mind.

"But the Hero is—" I stopped.

"I am the Hero."

"You are. That is unchanged." The High Priest inclined his head.

"The Church has long kept its strongest candidate in readiness. He is not yet perfect, I will grant you. But against a Dark Lord in this weakened state, he will be more than enough." A successor. Standing, breathing, ready.

"Then what becomes of me?" I asked. My voice sounded strange in my own ears.

"Nothing changes for you, Hero Evelisse. You remain as you are. The candidate will simply join your party." He spread his hands.

"At dawn tomorrow, your current party, alongside this new addition, will return to Aniaros Forest together. And you will put an end to the Dark Lord."

"Understood," the word was heavier than I thought.

"The revelation ends here," the High Priest said, turning away. As we were about to exit the Revelation Hall, I heard him call my name. I turned back. He did not. He simply stood facing the golden emblem of the Church mounted on the wall; the crescent moon, the rays, the sword laid through its center.

"Do not hesitate next time," he said. His voice was cold. I walked out of the Revelation Hall with my head heavier than when I had entered. I had always known the Church groomed a successor. That was no secret; the Hero was a mantle, and mantles were meant to be passed on. But to send a candidate to face a Dark Lord directly, that was almost unheard of. What set the Hero apart was Mooncleaver. The blade answered to one wielder alone, and so long as I lived and held the title, no candidate could draw it.

That was why the kingdom sent older warriors, seasoned and proven. So how was this one meant to fight without the holy sword? Was there a second Mooncleaver I had never been told of? Or had Lord Luminaryn seen something in the days to come — something that made all of this necessary? The thought arrived before I could stop it: Perhaps I would die tomorrow. Perhaps that was the revelation no one would say aloud.

If I fell in the fight, the candidate would take up the mantle, draw the blade, and finish what I could not. After all, it was said that Lord Luminaryn knew the hour of each Hero's death. Or perhaps the answer was simpler and colder than any of that. Perhaps there were simply no worthy warriors left to send. Perhaps a flawed candidate was all the kingdom had. But the more likely reason, I thought, was insurance. The words the High Priest had left me with still rang in my head.

"Do not hesitate next time." He knew. Or rather, Lord Luminaryn knew that I had not struck the Dark Lord down when I had the chance. So this… successor… would be there to finish the job. For when I could not. I had wanted to ask. I had wanted to ask every one of these questions while I stood in that hall. But during a revelation, such questions were forbidden. To question Lord Luminaryn's judgment was to doubt it, and to doubt it was a sin. And in truth, whatever the reason, the decision made sense.

Mel and I alone were not enough. We needed help, and the Church had given us the only help it could afford. We should strike while the Dark Lord is weak. To wait weeks would only let him grow stronger, and make the killing harder. Tomorrow, I would have to kill the Dark Lord. Could I do it? With everything tangled up inside me? I knew that I must, b ut something in me whispered that I couldn't. I needed the answers to what I was feeling. And I needed them today, before dawn made the question moot.

I made up my mind.