Chương 47: Off-letter

Letters, thought Kalen, holding the paper bundle close to the lantern to see it even better.

Letters for Tomas and the others who were hiding here.

The rumors in the city said there were only four Orellens taking refuge in the church, but here were eleven names. The rumors must have been wrong. Were they all fake names or were some of them real? Why had letters arrived for them now, after they were already gone?

How had the letters arrived?

Nothing was here. And then something was.

Spatial magic. How…miraculous. Kalen's mind turned inward, toward the nucleus he had explored but never sought to work with.

Can I do things like this?

He couldn't. Of course he couldn't. Not without books he would never be able to find or teachers he'd never be able reveal himself to. Even Arlade—if they ever met again, Kalen didn't plan to tell her about his double affinity.

Wind is enough to be figuring out. I've only just begun with that.

But he still waited for a strange and hopeful moment before he opened the letters. Before he did it, they could contain anything. And he discovered within himself a desire for them to contain so many things.

Truths about what was going on in the wider world. The names of safe places. News that this hunt for the Orellens would soon end. Stories about other children like Kalen. Spells. Answers.

Help.

He sat in the floor beside the lantern. He ran his fingers over the paper and the rough string that bound it. When they crossed the cool, smooth blob of sealing wax, he felt a brief flutter. It was an odd thing, a sensation against his fingers that somehow tickled his stomach at the same time.

And slowly, as if it were being pressed in by an invisible stamp, a familiar mark appeared. It was a constellation made up of three interlocking circles of stars, pierced through by an arrow.

It's the same as the design in the Orellen books the Acresses have.

He remembered how quickly he'd shelved that book. It hadn't been that long ago, but it had terrified him. That was before he even knew about the bracelets.

I sat by an Acress's fountain that day and had breakfast. I didn't know anything at all.

The magic seal fell away at Kalen's touch. He wondered if it would have done the same for anyone, or if it was only for…

He pulled the strings free.

The first folded piece of paper was addressed to the person named Lizen. Kalen opened it and read its contents.

To our sister Lizen, Please see yourself and the ones under your care safely to the last assigned destination. Portal there two days after the next full moon. Once you arrive, travel southwest along the road. Take no companions with you.

When you reach the river, someone will meet you.

In Hope of the Future, Senior Dowither Orellen Well that tells me nothing at all, Kalen thought.

Except that the Orellens are supposed to be going somewhere at the month's end, and this particular one will head southwest toward a river.

He opened the next.

To our cousin Wether, If Mage Lizen is with you, please wait for the designated day and assist her with the upcoming transportation ritual. Thereafter, proceed according to your previous instructions.

However, if Lizen has not arrived by three days after your receipt of this letter, we shall assume she has fallen to unforeseen ill-luck. Though we must also acknowledge the possibility that she has chosen to ignore her last orders, and thereby caused misfortune for all of us.

If such is the case, I humbly apologize to you on behalf of the Seniors Council. It remains my true belief, and the belief of our family's other highest members, that following the course we have chosen will result in safety and a desirable future for our clan. To any individual member of the whole, our instruction may at times seem random, thoughtless, or cold. But they are never any one of those things.

Wether, you are wise enough to know that not all can be saved. Such is the arithmetic of this trial we face. But know also that none of us are ever deliberately sacrificed. The goal of your Seniors is the ultimate salvation of the many. The odds dictate that any one of us is more likely to be included among those who will survive than not.

With that in mind, in the event of Lizen's absence, I ask you to follow a more difficult path. Please serve as a sender for some of those who have traveled with you. Delore and Sara shall go to Ajaq-Reth on the fourth day after your receipt of this. On the fifth, Antis and Matthew should be sent to a small village called Olipa in northern Tsunar.

You and your remaining companions must separate then, and seek to arrive by your own wits and talent in Ajaq-Reth a year from now. Letters will be waiting for each of you at the Church of Yoat in that city, under your alternate names.

Thus it is our hope that all of you will remain well and ours, even in the event of Mage Lizen's loss.

In Hope of the Future, Senior Dowither Orellen Kalen read the long missive several times before moving on to the others. They were all quite similar, with only changes in the instructions for the various recipients. There was hardly any personal information at all, though in one, Senior Dowither did tell someone their younger sister had recently gotten married.

It would have been better if the letters had contained real news. Or if there had been spells. There was nothing here that would be helpful to Kalen.

But he still found them fascinating.

It sounded like there were ten Orellens here in Granslip Port. Or there were supposed to be. And an eleventh named Lizen—a mage—was supposed to be here, too, but she hadn't shown up. Without this person, the Orellens couldn't follow their plan to go somewhere.

Their original destination wasn't mentioned by name in any of the letters, as if all the travelers already knew where it was, and so it wouldn't be spoken of again. It stood to reason that they had received previous letter packets like this one, with instructions for each of them.

They were all supposed to go together to wherever it was, Kalen thought as he stared at the letters he'd spread out in front of him.

All eleven of them were going to disappear, maybe from this very spot, and reappear somewhere else in the world.

But now, just because this one Mage Lizen was missing, they couldn't do it.

Why not? Is it a spell that requires a specific number of people to cast? Are they just not strong enough to do it?

Maybe Lizen was the only one who knew the right spell, and she was supposed to teach it to the others?

And now some people are going to get to leave for different places, but others have to make their own way. Where's Ajaq-Reth?

It wasn't a country, kingdom, or empire. Kalen had memorized the names of those places on the map. It must have been a city. Tsunar, where Tomas was supposed to go, was a country, and it was very far away. A tiny land to the northwest. Kalen knew nothing about it except its general location.

It must be a different kind of spell. The one they wanted to do would send them all together. This one they'll have to do if the mage is missing must be more like the spell that dropped me in the ocean when I was little.

Or like the one that had just delivered this letter here.

There were so many mysteries. For example, why should everyone's destination change just because one person hadn't shown up? Why weren't the four who were to be sent ahead being sent to the original destination instead of these new places? Why were there such specific days for portaling people, anyway?

Could they not send Tomas to Tsunar on the same day they sent the pair to Ajaq-Reth? What if Mage Lizen showed up late, but she still showed up?

Maybe new letters will come for them if that happens. Or they'll send letters of their own to this Senior Dowither to ask questions.

It must be so wonderful for them to be able to send mail this way. Kalen was jealous. If he could just magic his own letters to whatever place he chose, his life would be vastly improved.

Just how rare is spatial magic anyway?

he wondered. It was almost never referenced in other texts. There was no shelf for it in Barley & Daughters, no example of it in Cantripy of the Sorcerer Brou, not a single book mentioning it in Cob Acress's library.

When you think of it, you never think of practitioners besides the Orellens doing it either. Even Arlade doesn't teleport herself around, and she's definitely the kind of person who would want to.

Did the Orellens keep it a secret from the other families somehow? Or was it just very hard to do?

"And why did the letters come here if they're not here anymore?" Kalen muttered aloud to the empty attic room.

The sender obviously thought all of these people were still right here. So it was very strange for none of them to be here. Even if something had happened to one or two, where were the others?

The mage could have shown up, and they could have gone ahead to the place they were all supposed to travel to. But wouldn't they have sent a letter to Senior Dowither if they did that?

Kalen tried and failed to imagine how a bunch of practitioners in hiding together should behave. So he asked himself how he would behave in their place.

If I was living in the attic, and I was expecting to get instructions from these people who are in charge of my family, I would probably go with the mage when she showed up. But we would tell people right away that we'd made it to safety. So that's probably not what happened.

The other reasons I would leave without sending a letter would be…

He stared down at his own knees in the lantern light.

…if I was captured or killed. Or if I had decided not to trust Senior Dowither anymore. Or if I hadn't gone very far, and I thought I could come back by to check for my post here easily.

The first thought was too awful. What if, one night while Kalen was sleeping far below in the silent cellar, the Acresses had come and taken the attic Orellens away? What if they were dead already?

I wouldn't have heard anything. But the priests and priestesses would be upset wouldn't they? They wouldn't just show no reaction to something like that.

The sermons had changed lately, but they hadn't changed that much. The high priest had stopped mentioning Orellens, but he was clearly no lover of the Acresses. Last service, he'd accused them of luring people away from the fertility goddess with the promise of mortal magics and then betraying their trust by weakening the land. He wouldn't have just let them murder Tomas under the roof of his church and then carried on as if nothing had happened.

He wouldn't.

It had to be one of the other things.

Would they all lose faith in Senior Dowither at once? Ten or eleven people all together?

Maybe. Maybe the Senior was a rotten person and nobody liked him much to start with. But they'd been following instructions for years, hadn't they? So it seemed more likely that…

They're coming back. Or at least one of them is. To check this attic for these letters.

The church could have asked them to leave, or they could have decided to do it themselves. They might be hiding in a different place in the city. But someone would come back for the messages. They would just sneak in through the side door and up the stairs, grab it, and leave.

Kalen hoped so anyway. He hoped Tomas wasn't dead or trapped somewhere with the Acresses.

Well, I can't be caught here reading their secret instructions when they do come! How would I explain it? They might kill me themselves for all I know.

The letter collector could show up at any moment. He or she probably would if they were expecting their mail to arrive at a specific time. Working as quickly as he could, Kalen refolded all the letters and bundled them back together with the names on top just as he'd found them.

It's fine, he thought, reaching hastily for the string that had tied them all.

They won't even know anyone read them. I'll put it back together exactly the…

He froze with the string caught in his hand. The pale blue wax seal was still stuck to it.

Oh no.

He stared at it. The mark that had appeared when he touched it was still there. It was an Orellen family mark, clearly. Something special to them. That was why it was on this and in their books.

What do I do now?

If he tried melting the wax again and re-sticking it, would the magical thing happen when the Orellens re-opened it? It was probably some kind of sign that let them know the letters were really sent by their Senior.

Even if I can melt it and stick it back, it definitely won't do that again, Kalen thought with dread.

I would have to know whatever enchantment was on the wax in the first place if I wanted to fix it.

He could put it back without doing anything at all to it. Maybe whoever grabbed the packet would think their own finger had disturbed the seal, and…

They won't think that. It felt odd when it happened. It was very noticeable.

Why didn't I leave it alone?

Suddenly worried about the possibility of someone showing up and catching him here with all of these things in his hands—with a seal in his hand that practically had his identity stamped on it—he dropped the letters back where he'd found them. He shoved wax and string into his pocket, and he hurried away from the room and down the stairs.

Maybe they'll assume this packet didn't come with the seal. No, that's not right. I just need to think for a minute. I can figure this out.

He pushed open the door to the chapel. It was dark. They used to burn some of the candles at night, but they had stopped weeks ago. They were trying to save money. Food was more expensive in the city every day, and because of that, people weren't donating to the church.

It was a problem.

But not as immediate as this one.

Kalen snuffed out his lantern and hid himself, laying on the floor beneath one of the pews right beside the door that led to the attic stairs.

It's quiet enough that I'll hear if someone heads up them. And if I do hear someone, I'll…what will I do?

For a long time his mind spat out terrors that were only related to himself.

"Search the church!" the Orellens would say.

"Some enemy has tampered with our letters!"

And then they would take him and use spells on him to make him tell them the truth.

Kalen did not know how reasonable this fear was, but it was a powerful one. He wrestled with it, lying there growing cold in the dark chapel for what must have been hours. And only at that point did another outcome, almost equally terrible, occur to him.

If the Orellens thought their letters had been read by an enemy, they wouldn't follow the instructions on them. Kalen didn't understand where the instructions came from or why they were given, but they were obviously meant to keep the members of the family safe. Senior Dowither had said that following them was going to lead to "the ultimate salvation" of most of the family.

It was an awfully fancy way of talking, but it wasn't that hard to understand. If the Orellens followed the instructions, then most of them would live. If they stopped following the instructions, then more of them would die.

If they panic and run away because of me, or if they decide to do anything different from what it says in the letters, and they die…won't that be my fault?

If Tomas needs to be portaled to a safe place, and he isn't because I interfered…

Kalen wanted to fix it.

He wanted to go back in time to the beginning of the night and read books quietly in the lonely cellar instead of exploring the attic. Then he would be no worse off, and the Orellens wouldn't be either.

He threw an arm over his face and clenched his eyes shut.

Think, he ordered himself.

You've already made a mistake, and you can't undo it. So how do you make it the smallest mistake possible now?

Da, what should I do?

Jorn was an honest person. He would want Kalen to be a good man and follow the right course.

The most right course is probably to stand up there with the letters and confess what I did to whoever comes. But so many bad things might happen if I do that. What do the Orellens even do with people like me if they find us? They'll know what I am because of the seal. It has to be something that only opens for family members. That would make the most sense.

His father's way was too frightening. What would his mother say?

She'd tell me to forget all about these continental wizarns who practice dark magic and abandon children. She'd tell me not to listen to Da at all. She'd say they're not my family; she is. So stay safe and come back home as soon as I can.

Kalen hoped that was what she'd say. He thought it was. But sometimes, since Yarda had died, he felt more sorry for himself than he ever had in his life. And at those times, an agonizing whisper in his heart said that Shelba might not love him quite as much if she knew the truth.

Just a little less. Not the same as before.

She has Fanna now, that whisper said.

Fanna is perfect, pure, and beautiful. And you are not. Fanna is true. And you are a lie.

Strangely enough, this most dark and terrible part of the whisper was usually its own undoing. Because Kalen quite agreed that his little sister was perfect, pure, and beautiful. And if his mother did love the baby slightly more, it was understandable. Kalen didn't begrudge her a bit of it, he only wished he'd been born in the right way and to the right people, too.

No matter what, my mother will always love the Orellens less than me. So she would tell me not to risk a thing for them.

This was no help at all. The imaginary versions of his parents were completely at odds with each other on this matter.

The right thing must be to split the difference then. If Tomas is the one who shows up to collect the letters, I'll confess. If it's one of the others, I won't.

This was a satisfying compromise. Assuming Lizen was still missing, there was a nine in ten chance that Kalen would need to do nothing at all. And there was only a one in ten chance that he would have to risk his own precarious safety.

If the wrong Orellen came, then the gods must want it that way.

I think I've been spending too much time listening to priests lately, he thought as he rolled out from under the pew.

I don't actually think the gods are directing every minor event that happens in the world, so I shouldn't start blaming them for me doing the things I want to do anyway.

Both of his parents would agree on that.