Chương 14: A dark tunnel

Ch 14: A dark tunnel Felix felt torn between two worlds. A part of him still stood in his mental fortress, staring at the devastation with surprise and mixed emotion. It was always supposed to be a trick. A representation of his discipline and the power inside him. But it felt increasingly real. Was this truly his spirit? His soul? Because he'd just broken the shit out of it. The swirling inferno had touched him. When it failed to kill him, it pulled back and raged like a living thing.

Flame plunged into the stone of his cave, pillars of fire melting and digging until it found an escape. Now the cave was full of holes, the fire seething and sending up shimmering waves of heat. It also blasted through a gate, a couple walls. A molten river had started beneath his feet, pouring beneath the crumbled sections of wall, filling a layer like a moat. And yet… somehow, Felix felt… better. More in control of his body, if not his fortress.

When he breathed it was like a permanent weight had eased off his chest, expanding his lungs. When the fire had touched him, when he'd stopped trying to fight it for at least a moment, it was the most terrible, wonderful moment of his life. It felt like a dance, the flame spinning, spinning, a forgotten brother who wanted to hate him for locking it away, but couldn't harm him when the moment came. So it turned its wrath on the fortress and tried to escape, using every moment while his guard was down.

Some of it did. In the 'real' world it came out with such impatience and joy it flared over everything. Something tried to stop it. Maybe a lot of things. Felix had felt resistance in the water, in the walls, a force all around him that felt to the flame in his soul like another cage. His soul burnt it all and laughed. Next to Felix's lifetime of discipline, his fortress built just for it, the opposing force was like a children's toy version of a jail. But he didn't try to stop it. It felt so… good. So freeing.

He'd intended to let out a little more, to maybe fill the whole tunnel and dry up every speck of water. Then he'd felt something stronger. Deeper. Something he tried to burn and couldn't. He'd turned with a smile, eager to face whatever it was, the 'rune' or 'ward' or whatever these people used, to show it so much power it popped and sizzled and fried like the little… He'd found Isavey. With an awful, reality-shaking clang, he seized the snaking flame in his mind and yanked it back to its furnace.

It almost screamed in his ears, struggling as he closed the gates and threatened a new layer of shield above his cave if it didn't obey. It shrunk, and calmed, and felt somehow sated and maybe even more manageable than before. Except it had tasted freedom. And it tasted good. Felix felt the sliver in his mind telling him it should be free again. And why not? He'd survived. There was no point in holding it down, holding it in. The magisters had been wrong. So wrong. Why not just let go and see what happened?

It would be so easy. Why not just…

"You were supposed to stay back," he said, taking a step away from the girl. He looked up and saw she was holding some kind of orb. It was glowing in her hands, shining light on the walls like a red and orange dawn, with a single swirling river of blue. She stared at him, then at the orb, looking between them as if no idea what to say. He realized some of her silks were singed. Her face was red. The water around her was bubbling or gone. Had it been that orb he'd felt in the 'release'? Had it been her? Had he…

had he tried to burn her? To hurt her? Is that what he was doing before he turned? Gods below. It had felt so good. It had felt so…

"Are you alright?" he said, hearing his own hoarse voice, torn between coming forward and moving further away.

"Did I hurt you? I didn't…I'm sorry…I didn't mean…" The bodyguard, Cara, came running down the 'sewer' with a knife in her hand. A pack of priestesses were behind her, coming almost huddled like tourists to some foreign city, staring at the ground and the walls.

"My lady? Are you alright? This was foolish. What were you thinking?"

"I'm alright," Isavey said, meeting Felix's eyes.

"I'm not hurt. I'm alright. Just surprised." Felix sagged with relief. He felt suddenly exhausted. Like he'd been awake for two days in a battle against the sea. His body was trembling, his eyes struggling to focus. He realized he'd dropped the little string of jewels, and they were burned and melted on a cobblestone still glowing with heat.

"This isn't…what is he?" whispered a priestess, reaching for Isavey as if to pull her away. Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

"He's just a wizard, priestess," Isavey said, holding up the sphere.

"A dual wizard. Fire and water, just as expected. He's older than your young recruits, and very powerful. He'll be tired now. I'll take him back to his rooms. Take this to the high wizard. Speak to no one else of it." She handed the orb to the other woman, who eventually took it like she was lifting a snake. Then Isavey held out her hand to Felix.

"Come," she said, giving him a strained smile.

"You did well, but you should rest. We'll talk later." He had so many questions, so much to say and maybe tell her. He wanted to apologize but also scream at her for coming so close and making him stop. He hadn't been finished. But he wanted nothing more than he wanted to take Isa's hand. His big, callused grip closed around her soft, tiny fingers. It only made him feel like more of a beast, a threat, a killer. Isavey flinched at the touch like he frightened her now. He didn't blame her.

But that tiny, hopeful part of him started to die again, deciding she would only see him now as everyone saw him. A Lifestealer. A dangerous weapon, in name or deed. He'd be some foreign sword to be placed in the hand of whichever lord she served. And maybe that's all he ever was. Of course you are. Don't be a soft hearted fool, he told himself. You knew what this was. The king sent his pretty daughter to woo you, to turn you. But she'll never be yours, even if you can use your magic.

The 'training' would come next. The smiles and promises, the soft beds and fine wine. They'd dress him in their clothes and say kindly things. Then at the end of it all the king would come and pretend he was their friend instead of their prisoner. Then Felix would become a weapon, or die. Or so would be their plan. But Felix the Fox had survived worse. And now he was learning he had more power even than he believed. So he would take every moment these people gave him.

He'd learn their ways, learn his own strengths and how to 'channel' and become a proper 'wizard', or 'magus', or whatever the hell they called him. He'd smile, and dance. Then he would tell this king he'd be returning to the sea, and back to his father—the only person alive who truly loved him, and tell him everything he'd seen and learned. He'd go back to a world he understood, and maybe even change his fate. And the gods would receive whoever tried to stop him.

** Isavey flinched at the heat radiating off Felix's hand. It spiraled down her arm, warming her body with an embarrassing flush she was sure everyone could see. She turned and helped him forward, trying not to look any of the women in the eye. Cara still caught her, and gave a subtle smirk only Isa would know. It only made the embarrassment and heat worse, and she felt like she was sweating through her half burnt clothes. In fact she realized she might be showing skin, and looked at Cara meaningfully.

Her bodyguard and sister could basically read her mind, and didn't hesitate to pull off one of the priestesses shawls, tossing it over her shoulders. The woman sputtered but didn't resist, then Isa was guiding Felix out towards the temple's side entrance, holding his hand the entire way. It was already wildly inappropriate for her to touch a man she wasn't related to, especially with bare skin. But she couldn't seem to stop herself.

All she could do was hope the fact he was foreigner and a wizard, that he'd been wounded and was now test-drained, would somehow make it seem acceptable. There'd be whispers, but Isa could handle whispers. And her father had been clear. Her task was to bind this man to their family, to gain his trust and friendship and she couldn't do that if she treated him like a stranger all the time. At least this is what she told herself.

But she knew it was also because of his blue eyes and his mischievous smile, his body and his easy manner and…

"My lady, this way." Isa realized she was taking them the wrong direction. She shook her head and followed a confused and maybe smug looking Cara, taking an obviously exhausted and silent Felix through the temple. Then out to the special path connected to her father's estate. All the major families had their own 'tunnels' built from the temples for ease of access. The Amadi family tunnel was tall, so at least Felix didn't have to duck. But it was narrow and dark and probably daunting if you hadn't seen it before.

The priestesses left them at the tunnel, promising to take the orb to the high wizard. Felix hesitated at the entrance, tired eyes blinking back to awareness.

"We shouldn't go this way," he said.

"Not with assassins still out there. This is a perfect place to…"

"There's guards on the other side. It's my family's tunnel, it's safe, I promise."

"Like you promised that temple was perfectly safe?" Isa opened and shut her mouth again.

"He's right, my lady. I'll check it. Stay here until I return." Cara dashed ahead into the gloom, and Isa turned and met Felix's piercing stare, suddenly very aware they were completely alone, and away from prying eyes. She was still holding his big, warm hand, and he looked down at it with obvious awareness. Their fingers had even laced. When had that happened? Their palms were touching like lovers or close kin. Isa didn't want to let go.

In fact, she wanted to grin at him like an idiot, because he'd done so incredibly well at the test and now they'd get to spend weeks together. But it wasn't clear if he was as happy about it as she was. Was he still angry with her for coming back to the test? Or was it just because he was tired? Did he not feel even a little of what Isa felt? Wasn't he burning like she was? Felix looked back at the closed door of the temple, then the silent passage ahead.

His jaw looked half clenched, his eyes furtive, as if he was thinking about a hundred things. Isa realized she was being a silly, teenage girl. As if he'd be worried about some crush after a lifetime of not using mana, after finally releasing it, after realizing his life had been deranged because of wrong thinking. He wouldn't be thinking about her at all. She was being selfish and self-absorbed. She let go of his hand, and smiled.

"It will get easier now. We'll teach you. They'll put you in the school with the others, but I'll be there every step. And pretty soon you'll be in control. You won't get so exhausted or have to worry about…" Isa stepped back as Felix seemed to stumble towards her. His big hands went to her arms and he pushed her against the wall, stepping in close until his face was inches from hers.

She looked up at him with wide eyes, feeling the heat from his body and the strength of his arms, and why couldn't she seem to say anything or really even think or… Felix lowered down until his lips just gently touched hers and stopped, like they were asking a question. Every piece of her body was screaming 'yes, yes!', but he still didn't move. When she couldn't stand it another second, she rose up on her toes and kissed him, absolutely no idea what she was doing, in any sense of the term.

The warmth she'd been feeling flooded her body, pushing down from her gut and feeling so good it made her moan against his lips. It was a perfect, insane moment, and though she knew it would, she never wanted it to end.