Chương 46: 45 - Royalty

The city of Old London – not to be confused with the planet, New London – was exactly what its name implied. It was the United Kingdom's original, pre-FTL capital. The task of transporting it across the cosmos had been a monumental undertaking that the government's detractors at the time called a horrific waste of resources over a selfish monarch's whim. It was also where the modern meaning of the phrase 'London bridge is falling down' came from.

Once little more than a nursery rhyme, the idiom had become synonymous with catastrophically wasteful government spending. Hardly a surprise considering the rather ludicrous way the event had been distorted and exaggerated over time to the point where most citizens genuinely believed the Queen moved the entirety of the British Isles over a knee-jerk reaction to her favorite bridge collapsing in an earthquake. However, a closer look at history revealed that moving the city had been no mere whim.

Successfully transporting the entirety of Old London from Earth to its current home in the Westminster system had been one hell of a power move. It was a technological, logistical, and cultural achievement of truly unprecedented scale, unmatched before or since by any civilization in Federation space. It was a bold declaration of the nation's economical and naval superiority that effectively kick-started what would eventually become the Third British Empire.

At some point Old London had become more than an administrative center. The general populace saw it as a rather literal holy ground – the place where Her Immortal Majesty, Eternal God-Queen Mechalizabeth II, still held court to this day. It was only natural that billions of pilgrims would flow through the ancient capital each year, and when people gathered in such numbers they inevitably caused problems. Crowding and vandalism were the biggest two.

Legendary landmarks like the Palace of Westminster or the Tower of London were in remarkably good shape thanks to modern structural preservation techniques, but there was only so much those measures could do. Not to mention that much of those historic structures were still in active use and positively bursting at the seams with politicians and bureaucrats trying desperately to keep the star-sprawling Empire running.

Put bluntly, nobody in power wanted hordes of unwashed rabble milling about the nation's most culturally significant site. As such, the historic Royal District of Old London was strictly off-limits to anyone who didn't have official business there. They even put a great big transparent dome around it. The surrounding municipal zones were fair game, however. The original buildings had long since been replaced with various mega-structures that dominated the skyline like a mountain range.

The way they towered over the protective dome in the middle gave the capital a peculiar layout reminiscent of a glass egg resting in a concrete nest. Just seeing it from the air was quite the sight.

"That's so bloody cool!" Joe certainly approved. He had every reason to be excited, seeing as he was on his way to the actual Buckingham Palace to meet the literal Queen. He honestly wasn't sure what to expect, but he clearly had his hopes up. He was pressing his hands and face against the flying limo's window so much that it almost seemed as though he was trying to phase through it. He finally pulled back when he noticed the obvious smudges he'd left all over the previously spotless glass.

Feeling a wee bit embarrassed, he looked around for a napkin or something to wipe them down. Then he realized Amy was doing the exact same thing he was in the seat opposite his own, shrugged, and went back to gawking. Meanwhile, Maggie had made a rather startling discovery.

"Curious. That dome is able to impede my sight." It was completely unlike Amelia's psychic camouflage. The girl's innate ability allowed her to blend in seamlessly with her surroundings. The protective bubble over the Royal District was more like a regular person trying to peer through a thick sheet of lead.

"It's see-through, though?" Joe raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, you meant that kind of sight. Huh… Kind of makes sense if you think about it, though."

"Please elaborate?"

"I mean, it's where the Queen lives. They can't have any nosy aliens poking around here too much. You know how it is." That much was obvious. The 3BE had an entire organization dedicated to the expulsion of cosmic entities. In fact, the Supernatural Eviction Agency's headquarters was situated within the Royal District. It would be grossly negligent of them to not take such precautions.

Maggie's confusion stemmed from the fact that humanity did not possess technology capable of impeding psionic activity on this large a scale. At least, none that she was aware of, and this revelation tickled her curiosity. She wanted to see just how well those defenses would hold up to her full psychic might, but her obligations prevented her from finding out. She promised Joe she'd 'keep the space magic to a minimum' during this visit.

That meant no casual mind reading, no unprompted matter transmutation, no peeking through walls, and no unsolicited testing of the security systems. Issues regarding national security aside, Maggie's usual antics were rather rude and the man didn't want to offend Her Immortal Majesty. Plus, it was only fair she made that small concession considering he made one as well. The suit and tie look felt as stifling as it ever did.

At least it fit him a lot better now than when he first met Maggie since he actually had some meat and muscle on his bones, but he'd rather not wear this at all. Much as AJ planned, she managed to convince Amy that dressing up like a princess would be a fun change of pace, and her parents obviously had to match. For what it was worth, the girl looked positively lovely. Her mum had wrapped her in a poofy, short-sleeved, ankle-length dress that was a refreshing shade of yellow.

The kid loved it, though they had a mild disagreement about the crown. Wearing one in front of actual royalty might send the wrong message, yet Amy insisted that it was crucial to the 'princess' look. The compromise the family arrived at was to have Azgod'Kalar rest on her scalp while wearing a tiny little crown of his own. That way it was clear this was just an innocent decoration and not the Mulligan family openly challenging the Queen's authority.

Even though the daughter and father were 'dressed up to the nines,' the mother was not. She still wore the same plain black shoulderless dress with the thigh-slit she had been since she first manifested. Subtly altered, but this was indeed that very item. Maggie's casual outfit was still sleek and stylish enough to potentially pass as formalwear, but that wasn't why she wore it today.

The woman had something significantly more extravagant ready to go at a moment's notice and would swap to it at the last available moment. This was her peculiar way of flirting with the man she loved. She promised Joe it would be a sight worth seeing and wanted his anticipation to build before the big reveal. His fascination with the domed Royal District was a slight miscalculation as the view had clearly distracted him from her playful little plot.

That unforeseen issue resolved itself shortly as the flying passed through a security checkpoint and inside the sectioned-off airspace. Maggie promptly discovered that whatever was obstructing her abilities was stretched across that transparent dome and did not extend into its interior. The view outside the flying limo's window became far less impressive as it gradually lowered its altitude and came in for a silky smooth landing.

Once firmly on the ground, the entire left side of the vehicle slid upward to reveal the iconic gates of Buckingham Palace. The family exited the luxurious vehicle and were immediately struck by how… empty it all seemed. The Queen's ancestral residence stood a little further ahead and there was an immaculately kept and beautifully blooming garden behind them, but there was practically nobody around. That wasn't to say the place was deserted.

There were plenty of androids that tended to the grounds or stood guard in fancy red coats and fuzzy bearskin hats. There still weren't nearly enough of them to make the enormously open space feel populated, the odd sense of loneliness amplified by the lack of actual people. Something about the atmosphere made Joe and Amy instantly realize just how out of place a couple of pod-grown bumpkins like them actually were.

The man couldn't help but suddenly become conscious of how tight his necktie was, or the unfamiliar feeling of those stiff dress shoes under his heels. The girl similarly started fidgeting and pawing at her yellow gown in an attempt to straighten out wrinkles that weren't there and brush off imagined specks of dust. Maggie simply stared down at the ground. More specifically, at the reddish pavement leading up to the palace's gates.

She was slightly disappointed that this didn't seem to be the same red-tinged asphalt supposedly ferried here from Earth. It wasn't nearly old enough. She deduced the original royal road had been worn down to nothing over the centuries and had to be replaced with a suitably convincing replica. Luckily for the family, they didn't have to awkwardly stand around like lamp posts for more than a few seconds before they were approached by a butler. A real one.

Clean-shaven, short-cut, sharply-dressed, keen-eyed, and steel-faced. He was a dignified gentleman, absolutely immaculate in appearance and manners. Even the way he walked and breathed simply oozed class. His age seemed similar to Joe's, which only made the poor bloke feel even more inadequate.

"Good evening, sir. Madam. The little miss and young master, as well." The butler greeted them all in a clear, calming tone that softened tastefully when addressing the little girl. He was definitely a charmer, given how she giggled bashfully. The fact that he also addressed Azgod'Kalar the Calm was rather thoughtful. Then again, the crowned snake on Amelia's head was rather impossible to ignore.

"I trust your trip from orbit was enjoyable?"

"Indeed," Maggie tactfully responded.

"Everything was perfect. Wasn't it, Joe?" She gently squeezed the man's hand, silently prompting him to speak up.

"Hm? Ah, yes. Absolutely… spiffing."

"The limo ship was fun!" Amy merrily declared.

"Her Majesty will be glad to hear that. She has been eagerly awaiting your arrival and has instructed me to guide you."

"May I have a moment to adequately prepare myself first?"

"Of course, Madam. Take all the time you require." Her smile widened slightly and she took a step away from the others. In doing so, Joe was suddenly reminded of her mild teasing regarding her formalwear and instantly grew nervous for an entirely different reason. He watched with bated breath as his wife's usual outfit dissolved into a thick black smog, utterly impenetrable to the eye. The ominous cloud enveloped the woman completely, then promptly began to tighten and settle around her form.

Maggie emerged from the smoky curtain in a stunning yet impossible gown. The elaborate garment appeared to be woven from the cosmos themselves, wrapping the woman in a beautiful rendition of an azure nebula dense with glittering stars. The silky fabric around the ends of her limbs seamlessly dissolved into coiling tendrils of black smoke that evoked the contrasting darkness of the void.

The solid parts of the dress tightly hugged Maggie's arms, waist, and sides, yet left much of her chest exposed through a plunging neckline that ran from her covered collarbones all the way down to her belly button. The skirt was similarly provocative, with a thigh-high slit that showed off even more leg than her previous outfit. The amount of pale skin on display was by no means vulgar, but definitely on the daring side.

Lastly, as if openly declaring her true nature, Maggie's swirling locks housed a handful of alluring eyes that altered their exact number and position every time Joe blinked. And Joe blinked a lot. Mostly in disbelief. Somehow, his wife had found a way to appear even more beautiful than he had ever seen her. That aggressively alluring cleavage was almost like a black hole with how it drew his eyes toward it. It really emphasized how much she'd changed since they first met, especially physically.

A polite way of putting it was to say that Maggie had become significantly more motherly over the years. She was always well-proportioned, but that cosmic gown really accentuated how… pronounced her hourglass figure had become. Seeing the man's thoroughly stunned reaction and brazen staring, the woman felt a distinct sense of triumph. Satisfied with her unveiling, she casually turned towards the utterly unflinching butler.

"Thank you for your patience. After you, good sir."

"Very well, Madam. Walk this way, please." Joe barely even heard the invitation, but got the message when the butler turned and started walking. He followed, doing his best not to make an ass of himself. It wasn't easy. The sudden bout of nervousness from before coupled with Maggie's highly stimulating surprise made his motions stiff and jerky, as if he was desperately trying to remember how limbs worked. In stark contrast, his wife moved with grace and elegance.

Her heels clacked softly with rhythmic steps and her unearthly garment trailed behind her like ink spreading through water. And then there was Amy, somewhere in the middle. The girl did her best to emulate her mother's dignified gait, but a lack of muscle control made her motions nearly as jittery as her father's. This awkwardness didn't last long. Joe was an adaptable chap and managed to calm himself well before the family entered Buckingham Palace proper. The man then stepped inside and was overwhelmed once more.

For a brief second, he remembered when he first laid eyes on the luxurious apartment that would become his home. He distinctly recalled how lavish and posh the place seemed before he and Maggie thoroughly redecorated it, but even that looked like a pig sty compared to a literal palace. Every nook and cranny, from the fluffy red carpets to the beautifully patterned walls and ceiling, practically radiated class and refinement. He'd seen similarly fancy interiors before, of course, but those were in VR.

As with good food and extreme sports, experiencing the real thing was in a league of its own. Then came the creeping doubts. That nasty, objectively correct feeling that he did not belong here, but a hundred times more intense. He almost felt like he might get sent to prison for daring to breathe royal air. Hopefully just his imagination acting up. He glanced at the other two to check on them and found they were handling this far better than he was.

Maggie was as confident as ever with a layer of satisfied smugness on top, while Amy merrily swung her little arms with a little smile as if this was just a casual park stroll. The wife he could understand, but how come the girl was so composed? Ah, that'd be Azgod'Kalar sucking the nervousness right out of her. Making sure she didn't get overwhelmed was indeed one of the reasons they strategically positioned the serpent atop her scalp.

Realizing he was the only one sweating bullets out here did little to ease Joe's nerves. If anything, it only reaffirmed his place as an outsider. Seeking a distraction from those thoughts, the man turned his attention to his guide and did his best to clear his throat in that polite, attention-grabbing way.

"Ahem."

"Yes, sir?" the butler glanced at him over his shoulder.

"Might I ask your name, my good fellow?" He didn't mean to put on a posh accent, but it just kind of came out that way.

"Of course, sir. I am Robert Wellington. I have had the honour of serving Her Immortal Majesty for the past twenty six years, and hope to continue doing so for twice as many." Meaning he was either hired when he was still a little boy or he was significantly older than he looked. Neither of which seemed like appropriate topics of discussion. Actually, what was Joe going to talk about? He didn't think that far ahead.

The only relevant thing that came to mind was an observation that had been bothering him ever since he got out of that limo, so he decided to roll with that.

"Good to meet you, Robert. So, I have a slightly rude question."

"Feel free to ask, sir. I promise not to take offense."

"How come it was just you who came out to meet us? Not that I'm ungrateful or anything. I just expected more of… a royal welcome, I suppose." He wasn't going to demand that everyone in the palace drop everything just to greet his dumb mug, but it seemed rather odd that they would only send one man. In fact, it was almost as if nobody else even knew they were here.

The few people they came across inside the palace – bureaucrats and servants by the look of them – all looked taken aback by Maggie's showoffish appearance. The flowing star-gown was one thing, but the eyes in her hair were what truly caught them off-guard. Those people clearly had no idea who and what she was.

"I quite agree, sir," the butler let out a measured sigh.

"It has been far too long since Her Majesty last entertained guests, and I, for one, was eager to extend our full hospitality. However, Her Majesty was quite adamant that we do no such thing. Unlike myself, she foresaw that a family of humble origins would not be comfortable standing on ceremony for hours on end for what is, in essence, a friendly chat over dinner."

"Oh. Well, that was mighty thoughtful. Though… perhaps a little bit of pomp and ceremony wouldn't be so bad next time. If there is a next time, I mean."

"I understand, sir. I shall endeavor to accommodate if and when the opportunity arises. Are there any other concerns I might address?"

"No. Thank you."

"Very good. Ah, here we are." He guided the family over to a set of double doors, a couple of those automaton guards standing on either side. The butler gestured for them to wait a moment, politely knocked and then entered the room. Joe's anxiety returned in full force as he waited. He side-eyed the wife and daughter to find them as unhelpfully in control as ever. Then, an epiphany struck.

The man took a moment to center himself with the same meditative breathing he normally reserved for bracing himself for Maggie's 'truth bombs.' That seemed to do the trick and he felt much more confident by the time Robert emerged.

"Her Majesty will see you now." He bowed lightly as he invited them inside the room. The interior was much more relaxed than the rest of the palace, the wallpaper and carpet far less 'busy.' Still entirely too fancy for some random plonker who used to live in a shoebox, but far more comfortable by comparison. The calming atmosphere was largely perpetuated by the elderly lady relaxing in a plush armchair.

The pleasantly wrinkled skin, silver hair gathered into an elegant bun, and obvious cybernetic implants matched the portrait that hung in Joe's home. Her soothing green dress-suit was one he'd seen plenty of times on the telly. No doubt about it. This was definitely the Eternal God-Queen Mechalizabeth II. And yet, actually standing in her presence filled Joe with an overwhelming sense of warmth that made it impossible to recognize this person as one of the galaxy's most influential individuals.

Try as he might, he only saw a sweet old grandma happy to see some old friends after spending far too long apart. The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

"There you are," she smiled gently.

"Come in. Sit. Make yourselves at home." And so they did, with shocking ease.

"Woah. This is kind of trippy," Joe mumbled after parking his rear on the sofa.

"I know I should say it's nice to meet you, but it kinda feels like I've known you all my life. Right, Amy?" The girl nodded vigorously while going, "Mhm!"

"Neat, isn't it?" the old lady smiled.

"Feel free to call me Liz, by the way. Or anything you want, really."

"Even if I wished to refer to you as a useless old leech?" Maggie's words came out of nowhere and were tinged with an unusual amount of vitriol. Joe and Amy gasped at the sudden insult, but the Queen was entirely unbothered.

"You would not be the first, dearie. Nor would you be unjustified in doing so. Believe you me, I'm quite aware of how little I actually do."

"Huh? But isn't Gwandma Liz a queen? The biggest boss that bosses othuh bosses awound?" The girl couldn't help but tilt her head as she asked, prompting Azgod'Kalar to bend himself into a standing question mark – one of the first tricks Maggie taught him.

"Well, that's certainly one way to put it," the old lady giggled politely.

"You're not entirely wrong, my dearest little Amy, except for one little detail. I'm retired, you see."

"Ah."

"Now that you mention it…" Joe mumbled. The two of them realized this was one of those 'obvious in hindsight' things. Well, the father did. The daughter lacked some context and wasn't quite sure exactly what 'retired' meant, but she got the gist. Incidentally, both of them had forgotten all about the mother's rude words after Liz glossed over them so skillfully. Maggie's demeanor remained passively hostile, however.

"Oh, stop glaring at me like that," the Queen gently admonished her.

"I haven't done anything nefarious to them. I only seem familiar because they've been diligently performing their civic duties." Namely, the peculiar and frankly ridiculous law that every citizen was obligated to own a portrait of Her Immortal Majesty and give it a friendly wave at least once per day. Maggie always wondered what that was about, but all her research so far indicated it was just a bizarre tradition that served no practical purpose.

This conversation was the only solid piece of evidence she'd ever found there was something more to it after all.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Well, I wouldn't want to be a stranger to all my grandchildren." An utterly perplexing statement yet completely devoid of deception. While Maggie continued to respect Joe's wishes about her more invasive habits, her subliminal lie detector didn't exactly have an 'off' switch.

"I'm sorry, grandchildren?" Joe voiced the woman's confusion.

"Wait, are we Mulligans secretly royalty or something?" Amy's eyes immediately lit up at the implications that she was a real princess all along.

"Don't be silly, dear boy," Liz chuckled sensibly.

"I've simply become terribly sentimental over far too many years." She took a moment to take a sip of her tea. How and when that cup appeared in her hands was another question altogether. The answer was in the shape of a fully-loaded serving tray on the table between them. That the butler managed to sneak it in unnoticed was a slightly terrifying display of skill. Well, mostly unnoticed.

He couldn't evade Maggie's perception, but she didn't react to him as her focus was on this strange woman who may or may not have been subtly manipulating her loved ones.

"You see, I love this country as if it were my child. I nurtured and guided it best I could, gave it everything I had," she thoughtlessly stroked the metallic half of her face.

"And now that my lovely little Empire can finally stand on its own feet and doesn't need me anymore, I've decided to simply sit back and watch it make its own way in the world. It is a joy I hope you two will experience for yourselves, in your own way." Joe smiled and placed a hand on Amy's head to stroke her hair, careful not to disturb the napping orb python.

"Then in this metaphorical relationship," Maggie spoke, her tone still harsh, "Joe and Amelia are your metaphorical grandchildren because they are your metaphorical child's metaphorical offspring?" Her insistence on repeating that word implied she wasn't a huge fan of the idea.

"You shouldn't exclude yourself so readily, dearie," the Queen smiled gently.

"Adopted you may be, but you are also this nation's beloved daughter. I know the boorish brats that actually run the place aren't very fond of you, but I, for one, adore what you've become. How much you've grown. When I heard you were ready to spread your wings and head out into the wider galaxy, I absolutely had to see you off with a smile." Joe actually had to blink away some budding tears. That was one of the sweetest things he'd ever heard. His wife maintained a healthy dose of skepticism.

This could still be an elaborate political maneuver. This 'kindly old grandma' image was immaculately crafted, and the person behind it was one of the most experienced and successful politicians of all time. To not suspect ulterior motives would be negligence and little else. But, since her words remained untainted by false intentions, Maggie decided to cut the 'old leech' some slack.

"Thank you. That means a lot, coming from you." Her response was genuine, though the sentiment behind it was more professional than personal.

"You flatter me, dearie. Though, if you're feeling generous, could I please call you Magg–""Absolutely not." The way she cut the Queen off was just as rude as her earlier comment, but Joe was actually with her on this one.

"Yeah, we'd rather you didn't do that. Names are very important to Maggie's kind. I gave her that one, so she gets mad when someone outside the family uses it. Like, properly mad."

"Oh, dear. So you're saying you don't consider me your grandmother?"

"Well… I wouldn't go that far…" he wavered.

"I urge you to reconsider this angle, Lizbeth of House Windsor," Maggie sternly said.

"If we accept that broad definition of 'grandmother,' it would imply that Joe and I are more closely related than would be appropriate for a married couple."

"That would make things really weird now that she mentions it," the man agreed.

"… I suppose. But let's not drag government names into this," the Queen politely asked.

"They ruin the mood."

"My apologies." Meanwhile, Amy had been quietly spacing out ever since her papa started stroking her hair. It was a bad habit she picked up as a result of being The Observer's daughter. Her parents often got caught up in conversations far too difficult for her to follow and understand, especially when other adults were involved. Whenever that happened, the girl retreated into her own little world. She'd let her eyes and mind wander, often replaying whichever video had most recently captured her imagination.

On this occasion, she was recalling the Lightspeed Patrol episode in which the Queen made a guest appearance. As an ally, of course, and given the theme of the cartoon, the showrunners obviously had to give her some kind of superpower. It was kind of boring, if Amy had to be honest. Now that the actual person was in front of her, however, she couldn't help but want to ask about that. So, noticing a lull in the conversation, she decided this was her chance.

"Gwandma Liz? I have a question."

"What is it sweetie?"

"Can that wobot eye actually shoot out lazuh beams?"

"Oh, dearie me. I see someone's been watching too many cartoons."

"… Can you, though?"

"Of course. In fact, your mother's the one who gave me this eye." Maggie's eyes narrowed at that brazen lie. Not just those on her face, but the numerous peepers dotting her hair coils. Good news, she now knew for a fact her automatic lie detector worked on this peculiar woman. Bad news, she also confirmed the Queen was indeed a skillful manipulator.

"Weally?!" Sweet, innocent Amelia had fallen for her honey-coated ruse, and in doing so set herself up for a massive disappointment unless her mother turned the fantasy into reality. It was impressive how effortlessly Liz managed to checkmate a Class-4 intellect, even if she played dirty by targeting her daughter's affection. Whether the Queen meant that as a form of petty revenge or she just wanted to dazzle the child like the doting grandparent she claimed to be, Maggie couldn't tell. Nor did she care.

A little bit of her pride was a small price to pay for Amelia's smile, so she played along.

"Indeed. Observe." The woman reached for the serving tray, grabbed a singular sugar cube, and flicked into the air. Taking the hint, Liz looked and pointed dramatically at it with a cartoon-appropriate battle cry.

"Tally ho!" A sky-blue beam shot out of her cybernetic eye and vaporized the tiny object with a direct hit, much to the girl's delight. Joe wasn't fooled, though. He could tell space magic shenanigans were afoot even though Maggie promised not to do anything like that. On second thought, Liz practically asked for her robo-eye to be weaponized, so it was probably fine.

"That was so cool! Again, again!" More importantly, seeing the kid bounce up and down in her seat was what truly mattered.

"That was pretty wicked. Let me do it this time!" The man joined in and mimicked Maggie's motions for a flawless encore performance. They each had a few more turns lobbing stuff for the Queen to shoot out of the air, but the novelty somewhat wore off with each repetition. The group collectively decided to stop when Liz missed her target and accidentally evaporated a painting that was probably worth more than the entire hyper-scraper Joe lived in.

They settled back into the earlier relaxed atmosphere while Robert quietly and elegantly hid the rectangular scorch marks on the wall with a slightly bigger piece of art. That exciting distraction over, the adults moved on to chatting about inconsequential topics like favorite tea blends and music preferences. Amy chimed in now and then, but swiftly got bored and spaced off again.

"Oh, dear," the Queen noticed her wandering gaze.

"It seems the little one isn't having much fun."

"Hn?" the girl snapped out of her thoughts.

"No, no, I'm fine. I like to sit and look at stuff."

"That so?" Liz raised an eyebrow at the parents.

"It is," Maggie confirmed.

"She's her mother's daughter, after all," Joe nodded.

"I see. Then perhaps she would like to step outside and explore the palace on her own? I'm sure she'll find all kinds of curious things to look at."

"This is irresponsible," the mother said.

"Amelia means well, but she is a clumsy child."

"She does have a knack for stirring trouble," the father winced.

"All the more reason, then," the Queen smirked.

"Though it pains me to admit, this has become less of a palace and more of a mausoleum in recent years. A bit of chaos will do us all some good, shake off the rust and all that. Besides…" Her face then hardened into the most serious expression she'd shown yet.

"We have some sensitive matters to discuss, do we not?" While the Jolly Good Show was still en route to New London orbit, Maggie radioed in ahead of time with a formal request. She and Joe intended to ask Her Immortal Majesty if she could offer any help or guidance regarding their daughter's inexplicable traits.

It was rather presumptuous to assume the Queen would know anything about psychic camouflage or catastrophic words of power off the top of her head, nor were those the sort of topics one casually dropped on their host. The advance notice was both practical and polite. They had yet to receive any sort of formal response or even acknowledgement, but there was no doubt in their minds what these 'sensitive matters' were.

"Oh, oh! I wanna go!" Amy was happy to get out of here, mostly because she realized the adults wanted to talk about things no kid should hear. Another common occurrence in the Mulligan household.

"Alright. Have fun, but try not to break anything." Joe's warning seemed too little too late given the freshly hung painting on the wall behind him. However, that was Liz's own fault. Maggie might've 'given' her that laser eye, but the host who aimed and fired it, so the guests were in the clear. It would be a whole other story if Amy was the one to trash some irreplaceable artifact.

"Okaaay!" The girl ran off with the same response she always gave after being told to be careful and then immediately disregarding that warning. The parents quietly prepared themselves for the inevitable incident, but focused on the difficult conversation ahead. Amy left all that behind and took a long, pleasant stroll through the palace halls. The automated security paid her no heed as she was already registered as an honored guest. The actual people, however, were another story.

Buckingham Palace was always crawling with clerks and bureaucrats, and today was no exception. If anything, the halls were relatively crowded at the moment. Suffice to say, the weird little girl gawping at everything in sight drew a lot of attention. It was practically inevitable that one of them would get involved, though it still took about fifteen minutes.

"Excuse me! Young lady!" The clueless soul who dared approach The Observer's daughter was Nigel Pritchard, the Deputy Assistant Coordinator for the Regional Office of Ceremonial Compliance. He was a thin, impeccably groomed man in his late fifties with silvering hair, sharp spectacles, and a perpetually strained expression. He appeared before Amelia from around a corner with the subtlety of a cheap jumpscare in an amateur horror movie, though she wasn't startled in the slightest.

Mostly because of the noodly ball of serenity still resting on her head.

"This wing is not approved for visitors," Nigel firmly said.

"How did you get here, and where are your parents?" The girl looked up at him with obvious confusion, then glanced around. She saw some other people rushing away from the commotion, not wishing to get dragged into whatever this was. Amy also realized she didn't know the answer to the man's question. She wasn't really paying attention and just went wherever her little feet took her, so she wound up a little lost.

Seeing the child in this oblivious state, even the petty procedure-obsessed bureaucrat felt a touch of sympathy. Just a touch, though.

"Come with me, I'll help you find them." He reached out a hand intending to guide and direct her to the security office. The girl deftly hopped back and pointed a finger at him with a wide-eyed, open-mouthed expression that implied she'd just seen a real-life unicorn.

"Stranger." Something about her seemed to shift when she said that word. Anyone who had talked with Amy for even a minute would immediately be taken aback by the fact that she actually rolled her R's. Rather aggressively at that. That would have been Nigel's first hint that he was about to step on a landmine, but he lacked that context. Even so, most people in his shoes would recognize this was one of those 'let sleeping dogs lie' scenarios. He got that feeling, too, yet couldn't help himself.

Nigel was the kind of inflexible man who believed the Third British Empire was a few breached protocols from widespread anarchy. He was precisely the kind of petty bureaucrat that Liz was referring to when she said her residence could use a bit of chaos.

"Don't be like that. I only want to help." He meant that. In his eyes this was a lost child and it would be best for everyone involved if she was returned to where she belonged post-haste. Unfortunately, his mild annoyance, curt demeanor, and sudden motions muddled the genuine intent as he reached out again.

"STRANGER DANGER!" The umbral hound embedded in Amy's shadow instantly materialized around her, enveloping her like a forcefield of pure malice. One of its many heads lunged at Nigel before he could even react and gobbled him up in an instant motion. This clear sign of aggression did not go unnoticed and security systems instantly activated. Sentry turrets deployed from the ceiling and opened up on the alien creature, but Amy had taught Itchy how to play fetch with bullets.

The yassari momentarily expanded like an exaggerated sea urchin, catching the initial volley while simultaneously ripping all the guns from their ports. Things continued to escalate from there as the royal guard androids arrived at the scene with their automatic rifles. Their combat protocols were top-of-the-line, boasting accuracy and response times far above veteran soldiers, but they were woefully inadequate at acquiring a target that wasn't all there.

Ic'thagrig gleefully weaved between their confused firing lines and chewed all of them up. It was the first time the umbral hound had been let off its leash and it reveled in it, trashing everything even remotely hostile in sight with way more strength than was strictly necessary. It didn't even seem to notice when it took a lucky hit from a stray bullet since those projectiles didn't have enough energy to disrupt its telekinetic 'skin.'

After the third wave of androids was demolished, the once pristine hallway now looked like a war zone. The tapestry was in tatters, the carpet was ribbons, the statues were shattered, and the air was full of heavy smoke from gunfire and ruptured android battery packs. Suffice to say, the four-man team of psi-commandos who showed up next were right at home.

The inherently violent Class-2 threw itself at them with all the intensity and savagery it could muster, and quickly found them to be far more formidable than those mindless dolls. The humans were faster, smarter, more adaptable, and better armed. They narrowly dodged Ic'thagrig's lunging attacks through a mix of trained reflexes and telekinetic shields while easily shrugging off the entity's mental pressure. Lastly, those plasma rifles were doing a number on its ability to maintain cohesion.

The strike team quickly gained the upper hand and began to corner the malleable creature, but this was no common umbral hound. It knew how to play fetch, and it was more than eager to teach its new playmates. Using a bushel of assorted limbs, the creature gathered a dozen of the androids' discarded weaponry and started returning fire.

Its accuracy was abysmal as it clearly didn't know how to use those automatic firearms beyond point and pull the trigger, but that mattered little when it had so many of them at its disposal. It was now the commandos' turn to be on the ropes as they desperately ran from cover to cover, their foe constantly zipping around the hallway to get a better angle on them. If not for those psionic barriers and advanced body armor they would've already been riddled with lead.

The good news was that the monster had no idea how to reload those weapons. The bad news was that it had an abundant supply of readied guns within its reach. The soldiers fell back in a strategic manner, slowly pulling it down the hall and away from the scattered stockpile of android weaponry. While all of this was going on, Amy was peeking out of a corner in the opposite direction and eagerly cheering her friend on.

"Yeah! Get 'em Itchy! Show the bad guys what for!"

"HORF!" What she heard as a happy bark sounded like a nightmarish growl to everyone else around. Seeing it suddenly move with greater confidence and intensity prompted the lead commando to abandon the improvised containment strategy.

"Big Nest!" he shouted into his earpiece.

"This is Alpha-2! We need heavy backup! Are the Kaiser mechs warmed up yet?!"

"Affirmative, Alpha. Dispatching Kaiser units 3 through 7." Those war machines weren't meant for indoor use in the slightest. Though they would probably fit inside these massive halls, just one of the seven-meter walkers could flatten the entirety of Buckingham Palace in a matter of minutes. Nobody wanted that, of course, but between Her Immortal Majesty's safety and the fancy house she lived in, the choice was obvious. Or so Alpha-2 thought.

"Uh… Belay that last part, Alpha. You're to stand down and withdraw immediately."

"What?! On whose orders?!"

"The Queen's."

"But what about the… huh?" Only now did the commandos realize the rogue cosmic entity was neither advancing nor attacking. It stood still, seemingly poised to resume the pursuit, but only for a few moments. The soldiers watched with cautious bewilderment as the umbral hound compressed itself into a terrifyingly adorable puppy-like shape. In the process of doing so, one of its heads unceremoniously barfed up Nigel Pritchard – freshly traumatized and in dire need of therapy, but otherwise unharmed.

A little girl with wriggling black twin-tails and a refreshing yellow dress then trotted over and hugged the compressed Class-2 around the neck like a plush toy. So, when the walls, androids, and furniture began to piece themselves together, the commandos decided to quietly slink away and never speak of this ever again. Meanwhile, back in the royal sitting room, Maggie was giving Liz the smuggest expression in human history. Obviously, they knew everything that had just transpired.

Both of them were keeping an eye on Amelia through either technological or psionic means. They could have prevented that encounter from happening, but there was little reason to since Maggie could guarantee the safety of everyone involved. Even if a stray shot was about to hit someone, she'd just vanish it out of existence with atomic precision. The two most powerful ladies in the Empire were thus able to hold an impromptu game of 'my minions can beat your minions.'

Admittedly, they had to cut it a little short since the situation was getting out of hand, but a winner had still emerged by that point. This was supposed to be a contest between Her Majesty's elite attack dogs and Maggie's house-trained umbral hound, and by calling in the big guns the former had unwittingly disqualified themselves.