Chương 35: Chapter 31: An Unexpected Bookmark

As the end of the loop approached, Suria struggled to keep herself focused. It was so easy to start considering classes as wasted time, thinking about what she was going to do in the next loop instead of maximizing this one. But even though she could live these days multiple times, her life still consisted of the day in front of her, so she tried not to waste it.

Her monitoring favor for Jeilin never turned up anything too shocking, though on one late night a group of university staff entered in a very quick operation. Jeilin was pleased about this news, because apparently it corresponded to a change in Professor Drazen's locked office - now they knew that Darkmoon staff had been responsible. That didn't mean much to Suria yet, so she just hoped that she'd earned the favor.

Combat Perception continued to be fun, even more so now she had practical experience using perception spells. She tried to learn what she could from Exploration of Runic Capacity, though she recognized that right now it was mostly just a source of runic capacity exercises. The base introductory class - she'd learned that most shortened the name to "Foundations" - was just reading time as far as she was concerned. That left her with Magical Analysis In Depth as her primary focus.

Even just going to classes could be fraught, since she occasionally ran into Maut-mai and her cruel new friends. Suria had dealt with such bullies before and responded as little as possible until they got bored. Would she try to befriend Maut-mai in the next cycle? Or was that a waste of time compared to the more serious issues she needed to be investigating? Suria pushed off that decision until later and focused on what she could still gain from her class.

Professor Huen had whittled the class down to just a handful of students, and if Suria was honest with herself, she wasn't really keeping up with the reading. Her main goal was to get the titles of as many books as possible so that she would be better prepared for a future attempt at the class... and she hoped that, somehow, she would learn something that would help her understand what she'd seen in the basement.

One of the last classes before the end of the loop was another essay and Suria was struggling to find anything to write that wouldn't make her sound foolish. While she struggled with the problem, one of the only other students in the room suddenly stood up.

"This is bullshit!" the man nearly shouted at the professor.

"I looked up the universities in Nau Qin Nau and they don't teach anything like this!"

"Their pedagogy differs somewhat from Darkmoon," Professor Huen responded with icy calm.

"If these methods are so good, then why is Nau Qin Nau a miserable backwater? Huh?" Suria held her breath, half-expecting Professor Huen to kill the student where he stood. But of course she didn't... professors couldn't just murder people, despite what Suria had seen in the basement. Professor Huen's expression suggested that she wouldn't have cared if the student died in that moment, but she responded in a civil tone.

"I think you misunderstand. I may be from Nau Qin Nau, and I'm not ashamed of my heritage, but I gave up my citizenship in order to become a professor at Darkmoon. These methods of analysis are my own, not some special technique from my homeland. If you cannot keep up, do not invent these embarrassing excuses." The student stared at her for several seconds, breathing heavily, and then stormed out.

Suria had to admit that she could understand the outburst a little, because no matter how hard any of them worked, the professor was unimpressed, even insulting. If she hadn't been in a loop, Suria might have been upset that she was wasting her money on such a frustrating class. She tried to return to her essay, but to her surprise the professor came to sit down in a chair opposite her. Compared to the other woman, Suria felt simply inadequate: Lia Huen Rei was more composed, more beautiful, and a far better mage.

"Why are you still in this class when you're clearly struggling?" her professor asked.

"I'm trying to understand," Suria answered faintly.

"You're pushing us hard to teach us something, right?"

"I read your last essay. You're guessing what I want to hear, aren't you?" That was absolutely correct, but Suria didn't want to admit it and just shook her head.

"My scholarship only allows me to enroll in four classes. If I cancel now, I'm wasting one of them." Surprisingly, this seemed to break Professor Huen's stoic demeanor. It was just a slight shift in the corners of her eyes, but the change made her look like a real woman instead of a machine. She settled back, folding her arms and regarding Suria thoughtfully.

"I fear my methods will not be a good use of your scholarship, and for that I apologize," Professor Huen said.

"You probably can't transfer this late in the term, but if there are any classes in the Conjuring department that interest you, I can make arrangements."

"I'd like to keep trying," Suria insisted.

"Can you give me the next set of books, or the ones you think that would be most important for understanding the lessons?" All Suria had in mind was getting a leg up on her next attempt at the class, but strangely this caused another shadow to pass over Lia Huen Rei's face. It seemed like the apology had been sincere and, for whatever reason, this was making her feel worse. Perhaps she wasn't as cruel as she seemed at first... which strangely motivated Suria to push.

She wasn't about to reveal herself in front of a professor, but this was an opportunity that might not come again. This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

"Is teaching something you're just forced to do?" Suria asked, as pitifully as possible.

"I know some professors are more interested in their own research, but you said you gave up citizenship to teach here..."

"These things are more complicated than you might think." Lia Huen Rei hesitated, but it seemed she was much better at dealing with a furious student than a sad one.

"Magical academies vary more than you know, if you've only been to Darkmoon. Some are factories for producing mage soldiers, others use students for research projects, and in some the senior staff are entirely separated."

"What are things like in Nau Qin Nau?"

"This isn't a cultural lesson." Recognizing that she was losing her opportunity, Suria decided to switch gears.

"You said you came here, and you knew Darkmoon was a teaching university. Is it just that you only want the very best students? I'm just trying to understand." Lia Huen Rei sighed and her rigid posture actually relaxed a little.

"Actually, that's a bit of a disagreement within the faculty. There are those who would prefer that Darkmoon become more of a research institution, and others who don't like how embedded it is in Taedric politics."

"And what do you think?"

"One of the things that always frustrated me back home was how universities would stand on the sidelines, pretending to be above the politics and denying their own implicit involvement. I'd prefer that Darkmoon took a more direct role... but I'm only one throne, so my opinion isn't so important."

"Is that the sort of thing the professors sit around debating?" Something about the question must have been wrong, because as soon as Suria asked it, she felt a change. The relaxed mood vanished and Professor Huen's gaze became piercing - worse, she seemed to be reconsidering their conversation, and based on the way she frowned, she didn't like what she was thinking. For a moment Suria held her breath, imagining the professor attacking her right there.

In the end the older woman simply stood up and told Suria to finish her essay. Though Suria put quill to paper, she couldn't focus on her essay at all. She thought her question was informal and she'd hoped to sound like an ignorant student, but perhaps it was too close to the meeting between professors before the term. The worst aspect of it was that a part of her was convinced that Professor Huen had somehow suspected, as if that question was too specific.

Surely the department thrones all met with one another to discuss the university under normal circumstances? Suria decided that she wasn't going to ask a question like that again, just in case. She felt like she understood Professor Huen just a little, and the woman wasn't without compassion, but people could be compassionate and still take terrible actions, particularly if they thought they were necessary.

Once she had escaped the class and returned to her room, Suria thought over everything she had experienced in the basement, trying to order the memories without influencing them. Clearly the thrones had been discussing something more important than the schedule of the next term, and they hadn't been entirely shocked when Lirngelf brought up the idea of a time loop. Suria remembered that Professor Huen had reacted negatively to Professor Drazen, as if they were enemies... could she have been the one to kill him?

It seemed unlikely that any of the full professors would be killed by a simple spell to the back, but if they were actually enemies with differing visions for Darkmoon University, a battle between archmages could end one of them. She was already certain that the professors had done battle with each other and that the university had covered it up, which made sense from their perspective, but maybe it was more than that.

As much as Suria wanted answers, she reminded herself that she was a young student, recently celebrating over killing a few bugs. She couldn't handle the professors... she didn't even know for certain that Professor Drazen had been killed, even if the evidence seemed to suggest it. Time slowly slipped away from her, the end of the cycle coming ever closer, and Suria found herself often pondering what it meant to use that time well.

Some of the other loopers invited her to gatherings and she got the sense that they were writing off the rest of the cycle. Though she ignored all invitations, in the process she did learn some critical information. A few loopers had gotten themselves killed, though not soul-killed, taking larger risks toward the end. One of them had been arrested trying to bribe city officials and there was gossip over what she had even been trying to accomplish.

Wynchard had apparently left the university to search for more loopers, after Suria's appearance, and likely wouldn't return until the loop reset. As a whole, Suria wasn't impressed with how many of them seemed interested in using the time loop for decadence, or trying to find solutions via brute force. She had to admit that she needed to learn something from their bravery, however.

So long as there was no risk of soul death, taking risks was an important part of using this situation to their advantage, and one she wasn't making use of. Even though Suria was intellectually aware that normal death wouldn't harm them, she still retreated from pain and other threats. That had been one of the things she'd tried to work through in the supply tunnels and she still had more to learn.

So, on the very last day of the loop, as she felt the tension rising in her stomach, Suria climbed up the twisted staircase that arched over campus. Just walking on the path was a test of her nerves, but she forced herself to stand upright and walk along the top. Was the distance down to campus far enough to kill someone? It seemed so much higher than it had looked from the ground, and it wasn't much comfort to think that even if she didn't die, the pain of the fall would soon be erased.

One of the stones was a little off-level and Suria wobbled, desperately trying to maintain her balance on instinct. She ended up back in the center, her heart racing even though she'd come up here for that very reason. It took real effort to force herself to walk to the edge of the stairs and look down. In a sense, tipping over the edge would be very easy, yet she suddenly began to think of reasons she shouldn't.

She had no guarantee that the loop wouldn't extend, just a vague feeling in her gut, so she might end up miserably injured for days. Jumping off could cause unnecessary pain for anyone who saw her. If the impact didn't kill her, the end of the cycle could be miserable and leave her less able in the next. A dozen more excuses were formulating in the back of her mind, waiting their turn. It reminded her of one of the only luxuries she'd had as a child: going out to swim in the old lake.

There had been a tall rock that the older children had jumped from and it had terrified her - she had wobbled on the edge, daring herself to jump over and over. She hadn't been able to force herself to do it, instead another child had gotten impatient and pushed her. There was no one to push her now. No one even seemed to notice her atop the stairs. The tension was increasing and Suria felt increasingly certain that she was feeling the time magic working.

Either she was deceiving herself or she was actually building up a sense for time magic. Did she believe in her own instincts or would she stand up here until the loop reset? Suria threw herself off the edge and hurtled toward the ground.