Chương 6: Food Poisoning

Four monster crocodiles, attracted by the fishy scent, made short work of the fish traps in the river, crunching them like sunflower seeds. Then, their crimson eyes locked onto the two goblins on the bank, and their massive bodies began to writhe as they crawled ashore. Gob-Spear was paralyzed with terror. Li Qinwu struggled to drag the guy's limp body to a safe position. Seeing he still hadn't snapped out of it, Li Qinwu delivered two sharp slaps.

"Dammit! If you don't run now, you're fish food!" Gob-Spear finally came to. Looking at the monster crocodiles crawling onto the bank, he let out a shrill shriek and ran into the forest like a madman, not stopping for hundreds of meters until the great river was out of sight. Panting heavily, Gob-Spear suddenly realized Li Qinwu hadn't followed. According to his original nature, he would have definitely kept running, but because he was now Li Qinwu's soldier, he felt an instinctive concern for his leader's safety.

He went against the selfish instincts of a goblin and turned back to find Li Qinwu. When he finally spotted him, the sight left him completely stunned. Li Qinwu was standing about ten meters in front of a monster crocodile. As the creature crawled forward a meter, Li Qinwu would calmly step back a meter. He was actually kiting the crocodile!

"Bo... Boss!" Gob-Spear wanted to tell him to run, but Li Qinwu simply waved a hand, signaling him not to interfere. Li Qinwu had just discovered that these creatures, identified by the system as [Horned Crocodiles], were incredibly slow. Their back skin was too thick and heavy, and their four stubby legs provided little power. On land, they moved with a slow, writhing waddle. Li Qinwu wanted to test how far these Horned Crocodiles would chase.

These crocodiles were identified as hostile units, meaning killing them would grant XP—and given their size, the XP would likely be massive! The four crocodiles wriggled after Li Qinwu while he retreated composedly. Once the distance from the bank reached about 100 meters, the crocodiles lost patience. They ignored Li Qinwu, turned around, and waddled back toward the water.

"So 100 meters is the limit?" Li Qinwu memorized this intel, planning to figure out how to exploit it later.

"Let's go. Time to head back." Li Qinwu called out to Gob-Spear. He had gained enough for one day; there was no need to linger. If darkness fell, the forest would become the domain of dangerous nocturnal monsters.

"Hey, Boss, wait for me!" Gob-Spear hurried to catch up. Watching Li Qinwu toy with the crocodiles had given him a cold sweat; his own legs felt like jelly. His awe for Li Qinwu had reached a new height. The two didn't go directly back to the tribe. Li Qinwu took a detour to a safe little gully, where they jumped in and scrubbed themselves clean. He then crushed some grass and smeared the juice over their bodies to mask the fishy smell.

Under the rule of the fat, incompetent Goblin Chief, the tribe didn't engage in production. They only hunted when they were hungry. This lifestyle meant the tribe was in a constant state of starvation. If two pups returned smelling strongly of fish, one didn't need a crystal ball to guess what would happen! A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. After confirming they were scent-free, they headed home.

Near the tribe, Li Qinwu hid their two spears in a thicket, and the two crawled through the tall grass to sneak back into the settlement. As soon as he entered the tribe, Li Qinwu realized something was wrong. A crowd of goblins was rolling on the ground, clutching their stomachs and howling in agony. Some were already foaming at the mouth, looking like they were about to take a one-way trip to the afterlife.

"Is this... poisoning?" The symptoms looked like poisoning, but he needed a local to confirm. He found a goblin pup "watching the drama" from a bush and poked him from behind.

"Hey buddy, what's going on? Did they eat some bad mushrooms?" The pup jumped, but instead of answering, he bared his teeth and let out a low growl like a threatened beast. Li Qinwu delivered three swift slaps. The pup's eyes instantly cleared up, looking as innocent as a college student.

"The hunting party found some red berries outside," the pup answered sincerely.

"Many people ate them after they were brought back, and then this happened!" Poisoning indeed, Li Qinwu thought. And judging by the number of bodies, those berries weren't exactly mild. He felt this could be useful and wanted to know where they were picked. The pup didn't know; only the hunting party knew, and they were all currently "planked out" on the ground. Li Qinwu decided to find a hunting party member who hadn't kicked the bucket yet. Before leaving, he smiled and put a hand on the pup's shoulder.

"Young man, I see you have a unique constitution—a natural-born piece of 'Expendable Material.' How about joining my party and calling me Boss?" The pup dazed out, not understanding the terminology. Li Qinwu figured his "Goblin dialect" was too niche for the kid's brain, so he simplified: "Make me Boss, and I'll keep your belly full." [Ding! Spend 5 Denars to recruit Goblin Pup x1?]"Whoa! That was fast!" Li Qinwu chose 'Yes' immediately. Now he had two lackeys.

"Your name is Expendable. Remember it, or you'll be eating slaps for breakfast. Now, follow me." Li Qinwu led his two lackeys to an adult goblin who was howling with the most vigor—likely because he hadn't eaten many of the berries. Li Qinwu grabbed the adult's shoulders while the two pups grabbed the legs, and the three of them dragged the victim into the tall grass. The other goblins didn't care. In their eyes, these three pups were so starved they were going to eat a poisoned kinsman.

Some had already tried and got poisoned themselves, but they didn't warn the pups; they just waited to watch the show. Once in the tall grass, Li Qinwu asked: "Where did you find those red berries?"

"Aaaagh! It hurts! It hurts so much!!!" The adult didn't answer, only shrieked. Li Qinwu wasn't sure what to do; usually, a slap would open the way, but the guy was already dying. It felt a bit inappropriate. He thought for a moment and said: "Make me your Boss, and I can make your stomach stop hurting!" [Ding! Spend 10 Denars to recruit Goblin x1?] The system prompt rang out instantly. The adult goblin agreed in a heartbeat.

Li Qinwu paid the 10 Denars and had the two pups help him drag the guy to the back mountain, where there was a small waterfall.

"Open your mouth and drink! Drink until you can't swallow another drop!" The poisoned goblin didn't know what Li Qinwu was planning, but the pain was so bad he complied, hoping for relief. He drank until his belly looked like a basketball. Li Qinwu called a halt and pulled a soft plant root from the stream. He forced the goblin's jaw open and shoved the root down his throat.

"Blegh!" The goblin vomited instantly. Once he was empty, Li Qinwu made him drink again, then vomit again, then drink again, then vomit again. After three rounds, the goblin was as limp as a noodle and fainted. Li Qinwu had the lackeys carry him back. Gob-Spear said, "Boss, I think you killed him." Li Qinwu delivered a slap, making Gob-Spear let out a soft whimper as he clutched his face. The poisoned goblin wasn't dead, of course; he was just heavily injured from the poison and the "stomach pumping."

Normally, he wouldn't survive, but Li Qinwu had the [Mount & Blade] system. On the soldier management interface, the goblin was listed as [Wounded]. In the system, soldiers only have two states: [Wounded] or [Healthy]. Wounded soldiers recover slowly as long as the party is "stationed" (resting). In other words, he just needed to sleep it off.