Chương 110: Chapter 109

Rewards and an Important Announcement"I think I'm going to call that one the Peteor Strike," I said proudly. Rel and I were floating above the city. Well, I say city, but I wasn't quite sure that was an appropriate word to describe it anymore. Perhaps the'place where the city used to be' would be more fitting. On my return journey to the surface, I'd needed something to aim for. The pyramid had been the largest and most distinctive building in the city, making it the obvious choice. It no longer existed.

In the spot where it had once stood was an enormous crater, easily several hundred metres wide. But the damage didn't end there. The resulting shockwave had raced across the remainder of the city and surrounding countryside, reducing every building and skeleton in its path to Lego-sized pieces. Even the weeds hadn't survived. Rel had been a little subdued since I'd 'returned' and hadn't said much. The extent of his communication had been limited to nods, head shakes, and the occasional grunt.

I wasn't sure whether it was because his mind had been blown by the devastating effect of my crash landing or because the reality that he was going to have to praise peasant garb was finally starting to sink in. Alas, all good things must end. He turned to face me, wearing a scowl that would rival a toddler who'd just been told they couldn't have any more cake and was seconds away from throwing an epic tantrum. He jabbed a little claw at me accusingly.

"You cheated!"" I cheated, did I? That's fucking rich coming from you, Mr Pretended to Get Hit by an Unholy Energy Bolt So I Could Sneak Off and Weasel My Way to Victory While My Good Friend Risked His Life Trying to Avenge Me."" That was different!"

"How?"

"It– that– you… Shut up!"

"It… that… you… shut up…" I repeated each of the words slowly, as though I were quoting something profoundly insightful.

"Well, damn. That was the most elegant and thoroughly compelling argument I've ever heard. You've convinced me. I am the cheater." He glared at me for a moment longer, presumably hoping I'd spontaneously combust if he squinted hard enough. Then he let out a resigned sigh.

"Fine…" The word came out so grudgingly that I thought he might choke on it.

"You… win." I clapped him consolingly on the back.

"Better luck next time, eh, buddy?" Now that the minor issue of my glorious victory had been settled, it was time to move on to my favourite part of any quest: the rewards. Cloak of the Dead Imbued with the essence of undeath, this cloak once belonged to the dark wizard Xebras. For many years, it helped him to evade the countless heroes determined to separate his head from his body.

+ Self-cleaning (superior) + Self-repair (superior) Equipping this item grants the following bonuses: + 5 intelligence + 5 durability + 5 agility + Grants the passive ability: Veil of the Dead Veil of the Dead Masks the wearer's life force, making them difficult to detect through magical senses, aura perception, and abilities that locate living beings. Particularly powerful detection abilities may still penetrate the veil.

We weren't exactly keep-a-low-profile kind of guys, but it still sounded like a pretty handy item to have around just in case. After all, Rel had a bad habit of infuriating people – often to the point they were driven into a murderous rage. It was entirely possible he'd piss off the wrong person one day and we'd have to go into hiding. The stats it offered were nothing to scoff at, either. I withdrew the item from my inventory. It was a remarkably ordinary black hooded cloak.

The only thing about it that came close to being decorative was the silver clasp at the neck. Considering it had once belonged to a dark wizard, I'd honestly expected it to be a bit more... impressive. Then again, seeing as its main purpose was to help the wearer avoid being found, it probably made sense that it would be as inconspicuous as possible. A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

It also meant it wouldn't clash with my peasant garb, so I could wear it without looking like a complete idiot. Ring of Life The gemstone is an incredibly rare mineral known as Lifestone. It is much sought after across the galaxy for its remarkable healing properties. Equipping the item grants the following bonuses: + 6 durability + Greatly enhances the wearer's natural regenerative abilities. Another awesome item. In that moment, I decided I was a huge fan of three-star quests.

If these were the sorts of rewards we could expect, we'd be absolutely decked out by the time we headed back to Oakreach. It turned out to be one of those signet rings with a gemstone set into the face. The band was silver, and the gem was a forest green. When I slipped it onto my finger, it glowed briefly, sending a pleasant tingling sensation through my body, before fading once more. Greatly enhances the wearer's natural regenerative abilities, eh? That sounded like a job for Pete the Scientist.

I withdrew the Pitchfork of Lurus from my inventory. A quick glance at Rel showed he'd equipped the ring too and was studying it intently. I briefly considered poking him with the pitchfork instead. I decided against it. The guy was already borderline depressed after losing the bet, and it'd have been like kicking a sad puppy. I moved my grip up the haft, positioning my hand just beneath the head of pitchfork. I turned it, a little awkwardly, until the prongs hovered over my forearm.

Then I jabbed it in, my strength and durability going head-to-head for the first time since I'd stopped using my bare hands to chop down trees back during my first few months in the Trial Zone. I winced as the prongs sank at least an inch into my arm, piercing skin, fat, and muscle with indiscriminate efficiency. The weapon disappeared as I instructed the system to return it to my inventory. As I watched the punctured flesh slowly knit itself back together, two thoughts crossed my mind. First...

what the fuck was wrong with me? When exactly had I become the sort of lunatic who had no issue stabbing himself with a magical pitchfork in the name of 'science'? Second, I might have become the sort of lunatic who had no issue stabbing himself with a magical pitchfork in the name of 'science', but now, so long as I was wearing the ring, I was basically Wolverine. Okay… Wolverine Lite. All in all, it took just under a minute for the wounds to fully close.

Considering it took that long to heal what were, in the grand scheme of things, fairly minor injuries, I imagined it'd take a fair bit longer to recover from something more serious. I wasn't quite committed enough to test that one. I was more of a hobby scientist than a professional. The ring wouldn't replace healing potions or Rel's Rejuvenating Touch, but it'd definitely still come in handy during combat. * The next day, the whole gang gathered in the forest near Stonehaven for a catch-up.

How does that song go again…? Reunited and it feels so good. After an enthusiastic greeting from Winterclaw – which involved no small amount of ear scratches and wrestling – we found ourselves a nice little clearing. I located a fallen tree and, after a few carefully placed karate chops by Peter Brookes, Bane of the Forest, it was fashioned into some surprisingly comfortable log benches. Kaelis, Voklum, and Allaria filled us in on the details of their first Tier Four adventure.

I'd have quite liked to meet Griknar, the insane goblin who'd tried to recruit them into his cult. The guy sounded like a laugh. Well... if you ignored the whole ritual sacrifice thing, anyway. When they finished their tale, I was relieved I'd told Winterclaw to tag along with them for a while. If he hadn't been there, it would've likely been their first and last Tier Four quest.

The way they described it, Griknar had been slapping them all over the cave, and if Winterclaw hadn't been there to bite his head off, they'd have ended up as sacrifices themselves. Empowered by the deaths of three Trialists, the guy would've probably turned up on the Tier Five quest board, and Rel and I would've had to go and show him what's up.

"So," said Allaria once she'd finished her tale, "what have the two of you been up to?"

"Nothing too exciting, really," I replied.

"We completed a quest where we had to defeat an ancient necromancer before he could kill every living thing in the Trial Zone and turn them into his undead minions." Then, almost as though it were an afterthought, I added, "Oh, and I flew into space so I could gather enough speed to dive-bomb a city and kill a quarter of a million skeletal warriors."

"A quarter of a million skeletal warriors? Space? That is remark–" began Voklum. I raised a hand to cut him off and grinned.

"That's not important right now. We can talk about it later if you want. First, though, Rel has a very important announcement to make."

"Do I?" said Rel.

"I don't seem to recall–" I crossed my arms. Rel sighed. He hopped down from the log and began pacing back and forth, frowning as he stared at the ground. He opened his mouth, closed it again, then let out another, even deeper sigh.

"Yes…" he said finally. He came to a stop and turned to face the others.

"I have something to tell you all. It's not going to be easy... and honestly, I'm not quite sure how to begin." Kaelis gasped, looking as though he'd been punched in the gut. He scrambled to his knees before Rel.

"What's wrong, Grandmaster?" he asked, the words tumbling from his mouth.

"Are you dying? An illness? Some terrible curse? Don't worry – I'll find a cure if it's the last thing I do!" Rel stared at him for a few moments, stunned into silence, then scoffed.

"Don't be ridiculous, Kaelis. Do you think something as trivial as illness or a curse would be enough to kill me? No… what I have to say is far more humiliating." Kaelis nodded slowly, understanding dawning on his face. He reached out and patted Rel reassuringly on the shoulder.

"Are you finally ready to admit the truth, Grandmaster?" he asked.

"The truth?"

"Yes, Grandmaster." Kaelis flashed him a reassuring smile.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. You are among friends here. Being a squirrel is nothing to be ashamed–" I laughed. Hard. It was quickly turning out to be one of the best days ever.

"What did you just say?" I didn't know it was possible for words spoken so softly and quietly to be so damn menacing. Kaelis clearly agreed because he fell backwards, his armoured ass clanging against the ground. Lightning erupted across Rel's fur, and his eyes became seething pools of blue.

"I didn't mean anything by it, Grandmaster! I just–""Quit being such a drama queen, Rel," I said.

"You're clearly just trying to buy yourself more time. I won the bet fair and square, so get on with it already." Rel turned his glare on me, but the whole scary-lightning-squirrel shtick didn't work on me. I just smirked and waved a hand for him to get on with it. The lightning faded, and he began pacing once more. Kaelis, pale-faced and looking like he'd just seen his life flash before his eyes, seized the opportunity to return to his space on the log bench.

"There's an expression on my planet that I think is pretty suited to this moment," I said.

"Sometimes it's best just to get it over with."

"Very well," said Rel.

"I have come to realise... that is to say..." He took a deep breath.

"It is possible that peasant garb may not be entirely devoid of aesthetic merit." I cleared my throat.

"What I mean to say… is that peasant garb, when worn by suitably proportioned and handsome individuals such as Pete, can be very fashionable." His statement was met with a few seconds of stunned silence. Allaria's eyes darted between me and Rel, her mouth hanging slightly open.

"Is that... it?" she asked.

"After all that drama and build-up, your grand announcement was that Pete's outfit doesn't look awful?" She let out something halfway between a huff and a laugh.

"Has anyone ever told the two of you that you can be complete and utter morons sometimes?" Rel and I shared a look. She just didn't understand.