Chương 36: April fools 2025

Finally getting some straight answers has been nice, but… [Objective Complete: Speak to a fellow faller] [You have reached lvl. 25 HP: 54 + 3 Atk: 28 + 1 Def: 30 + 2 Sp. Atk: 49 + 4 Sd. Def: 45 + 4 Spd: 45 + 3] [Current Objectives: Complete ranger partner training, ████ ███ ███████ ████ █████, █il█ the Wo███ █at██, Discover how to enter the realm of your chosen deity: {Dialga}] [New Objective: Reach lvl. 26] [New Objective: Evolve] [New Objective: Find a mate] [New Objective: Discover why the tangent-space portal deposited you at location 9. 6020+3] That. I manage to take something off the list after all this time, and three more things get added. I jumped up two levels though, so now I know how much EXP the harder objectives give. One of the unrevealed objectives is showing me something now, too, but that 'tangent-space portal' in the new one only cements my recent choice. FUCK YOU, PALKIA!

And no, I'm not trying to distract myself from the other new objective, that would be absurd. It's not like I've been trying to avoid thinking about that eventuality since I got here or anything. … I guess level twenty-five really does make me an adult, then. Great. I'd thought Weaver was kidding about that.

"So…" I begin, not really sure what else to say.

"So," Leaf says back to me, incredibly nervous. His feelings toward me make more sense now. He's level thirty, which means he's probably had that objective sitting there for a while. The only reason I'm even at level twenty-five is [Faller Acceleration: Divine - Increases–] Nope, not this time, I can shut you up now. I glance back at the cat before quickly looking away again. Not that it helps since [Spiritual Basis - You have been–] Shut up! Anyway, yeah, since that gives me perfect memory.

Fuck, I wasn't ready to have the 'adult' part of my brain switched back on so suddenly, and Weaver teasing me about it… Oh gods. Turns out there's a pretty big downside to [Faller]'s 'compatibility' bonus. Everyone looks good. Human, pokemon, male, female it doesn't matter as long as they're over level twenty. Not twenty-five, for some reason. Makes me glad, and maybe a bit disappointed, that humans seem to stall out at three."

I'm not saying yes just yet," I preempt, "But I'd be willing to try a few dates, at least."" A few…" The cute green feline trails off, glancing up at where I know my special symbols are for him.

"That's a, um, human thing, right?"" Yeah, sort of a 'make sure it can work' test," I inform him." That sounds nice," He slowly nods. * ** A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. [Misdreavus ♀/Error – Trace: {Spiritual Basis}(ToFix ~ W)/♂ lvl. 27 Traits: Faller, Distorted: 26%, Chosen {Unknown}, Spiritual Basis. Abilities: Levitate, Cursed Body {Spiritual Basis}, Pressure {Distorted>20%}, Faller acceleration: Divine. Known Moves: Growl, Confusion, Astonish, Confuse Ray, Calm Mind, Mean Look, Hex. HP: 61 Atk: 32 Def: 35 Sp. Atk: 60 + 300% Sd. Def: 54 + 300% Spd: 53] [Faller: You are not a native to this hypersphere. Increases compatibility to {total}. Grants a version of Faller Acceleration dependent on egress type.] [Distorted: You have have been touched by a distorting force. Increased Distortion will lead to unintended effects. (ToFix ~ W)] [Chosen: █ ███ ███ ████████ ███ ██ ████ ███ █████ █████] [Spiritual Basis: You have been pulled from the spiritual realm by an unknown force. Removes all biological faults and needs. May have further effects. (Beta ~ W)] I wave the windows away, they've served their purpose, as the three-hundred percent bonuses attest to. Two more levels. Two more fucking levels and all it took was–"So… Smokey, How'd you date go this time?" Weaver asks, shit eating grin fully in place.

She can see my level, she already knows." I'm not talking about this with you," I say flatly.

"Not if you're going to be like that right now." The black weasel-cat freezes, blinking once before her whole demeanor shifts, "Sorry. So, you two are official now?" She asks, much more softly.

"It… seems so."

"And you don't know what to think of it?"" No." Weaver's quiet for a few seconds before, "Was he any good?" The– ▲▲▲ ▼▼▼ – L ook I turn on Weaver literally starts peeling paint off the walls,"Okay, no," I tell her.

"I like the basics of the system, don't get me wrong, but this is taking it too far," While I speak, I'm already spinning the simulacrum down.

"Come on," She grins, evilly, "Its funny, you're so good at playing younger you! And don't tell me you haven't thought about how handsome Leaf is now, with how well you played that date." I roll my eyes.

"Weaver," I sweetly say, gently lifting the rule sheet she just passed me, "This is a table that you roll on for how good sex is, and its results. I'm not going to judge you for fantasizing about Leaf, but I will for adding this." I give her a look. It rolls off her like so much snow on her winter coat, "I'm not going to role-play this further. Doubly so while you're acting as GM. Triply so while I'm maintaining the whole thing."

"Ugh," She pouts, "You and Raichu are the only people awake right now!" I raise an eyebrow at that, and Weaver rolls her eyes, "You know what I mean. So, should we try a different scenario?"

"Weaver," I declare, "I know the mission earlier got you going. That's fine, good for you. But if you need to get laid then go do that instead of whatever this is." I still don't get how most pokemon tick, intimacy wise. Ghosts simply don't work the same way, physically. However, I'm giving Weaver a lot of leeway on dragging me into stuff after that… Well, yeah, after that. Adding all this to a TTRPG is a bit too much, though. Today's been a little weird, overall. Still not the weirdest, somehow, but up there.

My friend frowns, then sighs dramatically, "You're right. Do you think Absol or Frosty would be willing to help?"

"They worship the ground you walk on, so yes. And they'll both be insufferable afterward no matter who you go with." Knowing her, I'm betting on the ice-type sandslash.

"Hmm… But I still want to finish testing out this system," Weaver muses.

"And I need you for that. We also need to get the new rules put away before Ryu–" She cuts herself off, going still. Oh? Ooh! I suddenly have a great idea. Snagging as much incriminating evidence as I can in the fraction of a second I have, I shift it and myself out before Weaver can stop me. It's not enough on its own, but that's why I can move through walls and floors. Now, where's Ryuko?

"You get that oversized hat of yours back here!" The feline calls into the void after me. I cackle right back, already zeroing in on my target. I just need to wake her up without disturbing anyone else. Simple. I'm very good at precision and not at all going to mess this up.