Chương 46: April Fools 2026

Seasons, my head hurts. Why would any of them let thinking feel like this? Wait a moment… I'm waking up. Where's Weaver? I try to open my eyes, but my body feels sluggish, tired in a way I haven't truly felt for years now. Something else is wrong, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I can make out voices, swimming in and out of focus, "–Smokey! Patches is–" "–Fine, it's fine, nothing's–" "–If you two could please just calm down–" It feels like I recognize them all from somewhere.

Mustering all the strength I can, I will my eyes to open. Blinding g old and green light greets me and I need to snap my eyes shut again. That was bright. Also a view of the outdoors, one that I shouldn't have right now given that I was in bed last night. Slowly opening my eyes this time, I give them a moment to adjust. I'm in a flat, scrubby area, the occasional tree poking out of the grassy earth. Moving my eyes —because my body still isn't cooperating—I see a small stream not far to my right.

T o my left, however, is a familiar pokemon, looking at something behind me." Weaver?" I shakily ask, and immediately get the sense that something is wrong with my voice. It sounds like me, but it also doesn't. T he sounds of panicked conversation cease." Ryu?" The familiar voice asks.

"That's you?" Wait a second… I can't be understanding–"Weaver?!" I ask again, not as shaky this time, but a bit shocked.

"… Oh," One of the less familiar voices says.

"You know, that makes a kind of sense." I know where I've heard that mix of ethereal and three-at-once before, too.

"Misdreavus?" I say this time, trying to get my body to move. Why does everything feel off?" How does that figure, Charlie?" Weaver asks. Charlie?

"Well, you know about zoroark? Um, one of those, but younger," Misdreavus' voice sounds again." What do you mean… Oh, I get it now. Yeah, that's a bit specific isn't it?" Weaver comments. I still don't know how I'm understanding them." What are they called?"" Zorua," Misdreavus says, giving me the impression that they shrugged." You may want to help her out."" Right," Weaver says, walking toward me. Is she taller than before?

"Hey, are you okay, Ryu?"

"… I can't move, but I'm suddenly understanding everything you say, so it's about fifty-fifty," I admit." Hmm. A ny ideas, Smokey?" Weaver asks, turning to face mid-air. Misdreavus, or possibly Charlie or Smokey, appears where Weaver was looking, staring rather hard at me, "I think she's not quite…

'solid' yet, that's all I got, s orry. D ark-types are a bit hard to see."" I guess we're waiting, then," Weaver decides.

"Hey, Patches, at least say hi to Ryu." W ho's she talking to? Misd– Charlie and Weaver are two of my partners, so the logical answer would be Espeon. But I didn't know they both had names. Sure enough, an espeon enters my vision.

"H– Hi M– Miss Ryuko…" He shyly says, not exactly looking at me.

"I– I'm sorry. I c– can't bond to y– you anymore…" Can't bond to me anymore… Dark-types are hard to see… I can understand my partners now… Gods, why does my head hurt so much? Wait. Hold on, "Weaver," I say, locking on to the weavile, "Am I a pokemon right now?"

"Um, yes?" She confirms.

"Look down." I do and– Okay, I don't know how I missed the snout, but I can also see dainty, red- socked paws lea d ing back to me." Oh," I say, taking a deep breath, "Okay." I can't tell if I should be panicking now or not, but I also know that panic never helps a situation. Right, breath in, hold, breath out, hold. Breath in, hold, breathe out, hold.

Being able to move makes me feel a lot better, even if walking on all fours is taking a bit of practice. It's fairly easy, natural even. Unless I start thinking about it. Then I keep tripping over my own feet– paws.

"Right," I proclaim, completing my third circuit around the small area my partners have made themselves comfortable in.

"Now what?" I ask, turning to face them. Charlie still has a small, knowing smirk on their face, Espeon has gone from looking lost to staring into the distance, and only Weaver looks focused. The weavile puts a thoughtful hand to her chin, "Get some food for those of us who eat?" She says. Ah, right. Basic needs.

"And what about after? What about what happened to us?" I don't exactly want to say 'What happened to me?' But I'm thinking it. Not that it isn't almost a dream come true, sort of. I can talk to pokemon now, but I'm already missing my hands. I'd like to know what happened before making longer term plans, though. Charlie has started looking a bit shifty, and Weaver beats me to the question, not even looking at them, " That's a great question, Smokey, what did happen?"

Espeon answers, however, "M– Massive reality d– distortion."

"Uh, yeah, that," Charlie says, a rather contrite look on their face.

"You all fell unconscious, the two of you who weren't sleeping at any rate, and I did my best to keep us in one place."

"And you did a good job!" Weaver brightly chirps, mechanically turning her head to face the ghost." Thanks, Weaver," The misdreavus says, rolling their eyes.

"I guess I should have said I kept us together, since we were drifting apart. Not sure where we actually are…" They trail off, looking up.

"Give me a moment." And, having said that, they fly upwards.

"Are you actually feeling better?" Weaver softly asks, walking over to me." Yeah, I just had to get it out of my system," I tell her, trying to shrug and realizing it doesn't work with four legs.

"… Mostly," I add." I'm s– sorry I can't make you feel b– better," Espeon apologizes. I'd know n he was a ball of nerves, but having heard him say 'sorry' over and over again drives it home all over again." It's not your fault," I try to reassure him.

"I don't think any of us could have seen his coming."" B– But, what if I h– had?" He desperately asks. I give Weaver a side glance. She might have understated Espeon's current state. What to do… He needs reassurance and affection. C arefully walk ing over to the psychic, I lean into him. H e's slightly smaller than me, but he holds my weight.

"That doesn't matter, we're all here, that's the important part." He doesn't say anything, but his breathing slows down, so I know he's calmer now." I found a city, or a town, at least," Charlie announces, having appear ed out of thin-air. I jump slightly, but Espeon seems unsurprised and Weaver's just snickering.

"Which way?" The still mirthful feline asks, exchanging what looks like a high-five with the ghost." West, not long for me, could be a while away if Onaga's still having issues walking."" I can walk," I say, prompting all three of them to share a look, "What?"" You can walk, yeah," Weaver starts saying, wincing a bit, "But it's a bit… off?"" You need p– practice…" Espeon hedges, looking away from me. I look at Charlie, expecting them to say something, but they only shrug, "I fl y everywhere," T hey say.

"… I see. Well, we're burning daylight, let's get moving," I instruct, and the ghost sighs while pointing the way. * ** As much as I hate to admit it, my friends were right about how slow I am. Espeon' s slower than the others as well, but he also doesn't keep tripping himself and needing to stop and reorient. I t's also odd that we haven't seen any other pokemon, but I'm not sure where to even go with that thought. There's plenty of other wildlife.

"– And Miltank was nice about it, but Mitsuaki was starting to get a bit frustrated at that point," Patches, now that I can fully understand him, seems to want to tell me everything he's ever been through. The regular stream of thoughts and stories most kids spout positively pouring out of him. I think he's using it to mask how panicked out he is. A nd possibly to try and make up for the severed bond.

"So he sent Magnemite out, which was disappointing because I wanted to keep talking to Miltank–" I'm also finally getting the full picture of what happened to him, and if I ever meet his former trainer I'm going to punch him in the kidneys. …If I ever get my arms back. I shouldn't have started thinking about it again. Although, having learned my lesson, I freeze with three paws on the ground, slowly lowering the fourth.

"Need a break again?" Weaver asks, everyone halting as they notice.

"Just need to get my bearings," I say, sitting down. It's an odd experience now.

"We might need to stop soon, in any case," Charlie comments, swooping down to rest.

"It's getting dark, and while I'd bet you and Weaver could go most of the night, Espeon can't."

"I– I've kept myself awake before!" The pokemon in question protests, and both Charlie and I sigh. We then share a knowing look.

"Maybe, but it's not healthy for you," I tell the psychic, firming my tone.

"If we need some basic shelter it's better to get started before the sun goes down, and," I say, glancing at the sky, "I think we only have an hour or two before that. Charlie, how much longer do you think it will take us to get where we're going?" The ghost rises, not displacing any air despite their speed. It's interesting how I can tell they're a they.

I've known for effectively my entire life that pokemon can easily communicate with each other, of course, but experiencing it firsthand is cluing me in to how much they—or we, for the moment—can simply tell about the world around them– us. I' m not sure how much is pure instinct, or the fact that I definitely have a different brain chemistry at the moment. After all, Weaver feels virtuous somehow, Espeon looks a lot more like a child now, and I'm getting weird, mixed signals from Charlie. Old, young, weak, threat.

Also, the less I think about how I and everyone around me is naked the better." Six more hours, at least," Charlie says, once again simply popping into existence. Though I think I' m starting to feel them when they get close enough.

"Shelter and food, then," I decide, as they all still seem to treat me as the leader.

Getting sleep was nice, and my new fur coat is apparently thick enough to ward off freezing temperatures. I am a bit annoyed at what happened once we started looking for food, though.

"You just had to walk into the weird, glowing tree-arch-thing," Charlie deadpans, looking at Weaver.

"Yes," The weavile solemnly answers, looking proud of herself.

"We can't go back now," I cut off what likely wouldn't have been a real argument, given how they act together.

"We need to find a way out, though. Stick together, we don't want to end up separated." We move through the twisting corridors of trees, all oddly spaced to make walls, until we reach an open section.

"Oh there's other…" I trail off as all three of my partners move into some kind of formation.

"What?"

"Those aren't people," Weaver and Charlie both say, glancing at each other.

"N– No minds," Espeon supplies, edging closer to me. The collection of budew all turn as one before moving toward us like a wall. They cross half the distance in a blink before we can react, and I'm hoping I can figure out how to fight in this body– If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it. Charlie makes a noise, and a conical trench is carved into the earth in front of us, the budew all… evaporating?

"If that's the worst this place has, I think we'll be fine," The ghost blandly states, moving to float down the next hallway. We all follow, stopping at the end of it.

"So… stairs?" I ask, hoping someone else has an idea as to what's going on.

"Why not, at this point?" Charlie says, sounding a little too happy. With that, they fly up the stairs to nowhere.

"At least we found food," Weaver comforts me, though she's also staring at the trees we just walked out of.

"How… We walked up eleven flights of stairs, how are we back where we entered?" I can't see our ghostly companion, but I'm starting to get a handle on feeling them. They're floating around the arched-trees at the moment.

"Does it matter?" Weaver asks, eating another apple.

"These are delicious, why didn't they taste like this before?" It's dark around us, we spent at least three hours in that place, but I apparently have perfect night-vision now, so it's not any kind of problem.

"Thank you for getting me out," Hoppip says brightly, "I don't know how long I was stuck in there! Are you really not a rescue team?"

"Of course– Or, no, we aren't," I acknowledge her, still looking at the tree-door. We'd climbed the last set of stairs, after all the combee, kakuna, and beedrill, saw a big apple tree, turned around, and now…

"How?"

"Hmm, what is it, Weaver?" Charlie asks, appearing next to the weavile.

"Is this normal?" She asks, pointing at me?

"Probably," The ghost shrugs.

"One too many impossible things in a single day. I was worse, trust me."

"And you're just accepting it?!" I ask. Wait… what was that they said?

"Yes…?" The ghost returns, raising an eyebrow, "Honestly, I'm pretty sure things like this are just how reality operates at this point."

An entire society of only pokemon. It's not something I'd ever put much thought into before, but now I'm looking at it, and it's the most pokemon I've ever seen in one place. We're on the edge of a city, low buildings spread out to the ocean before us, pokemon of every variety I can name and more that I can't making their way to and from wherever they're going. Every building is low to the ground, rather rustically decorated, and more open than seems safe.

Then again, most pokemon can handle the environment easily enough. And when they can't it's either because the environment isn't extreme enough, or the wrong kind of extreme.

"Just keep heading east, you can't miss the guild buildings!" Hoppip happily tells us, bouncing away as she does.

"Thank you for rescuing me! I'll be sure to send you any missions I have!" Forming a 'rescue team' seemed like a good idea after Weaver—specifically Weaver, at Charlie's insistence—managed to get a lot of information out of the cheery pokemon. I don't think she even realized she was being asked questions… Wait, did Weaver even ask anything? Back on task, being on a rescue team seems enough like being a ranger that it should be a stable way to make ends meet while we figure out what happened.

Assuming Charlie doesn't already know and isn't telling us. Now that I can understand them, I'm realizing that there's a lot they simply aren't saying for whatever reason. Of course, now I can actually question them about it…

"Being independent is seeming more and more appealing…" I say to the group, the four of us having just left the sixth guild interview-slash-pitch.

"You were right about pushing for specifics, Charlie, and I'm assuming there's a reason why none of them seemed happy when you entered the room."

"They were hoping to lie to our faces," Weaver shrugs.

"You can't do that to Charlie, and I'm convinced keeping Espeon out had nothing to do with how young he is."

"Since the lowest per-contract fee was sixty-five percent, I need to agree that independent seems the best way to go at first, but the guilds are offering to handle logistics and the busywork of actually finding and handling the contracts. On the other hand, we can probably do most of that fairly easily," The ghost muses, mostly to themself, I think.

"They're also offering to house us, but I didn't like the look of the rooms." I have to agree there. I'm used to somewhat cramped quarters, but the guilds here seem to be competing to have the smallest rooms and barracks possible.

"I think we should weigh our options a bit more before deciding, then," I say, receiving nods from my team. My team. As much as I can pretend that it's the terms that are making me want to turn the guilds down, I know that the heart of it is that they're my team. I can't say I hate how much closer I feel to them already, and it's only been a day. * **"Barrier!" I call, hiding the rescue target as well as I can behind an illusion.

Pokemon here aren't so different from back home, it seems, they've just built a society to give them all the things humans normally would. But they still let their children wander too far, and, though they can typically take care of themselves, dungeons can happen at random. And sometimes the kids just enter on their own, thinking they can handle it. They can't. Even many adults can't in some cases. Personally, gathering contracts are my favorite since the only ones in danger are us, and we can handle ourselves.

A pearlescent, lavender-tinted dome of energy appears over the two of us, reducing what would have been a painful blast of fire from the dungeon pokemon to something that I can shield the grubbin from. It barely singes my fur. That had to be one from Espeon. A fraction of a second later, the false charmeleon is momentarily replaced by a black orb. When it vanishes, there's nothing left of the construct. One down, four to go.

Charlie makes sense now. And their… his? No, their. Their reaction to this situation is a lot more understandable. After all, they've been through something very similar already. I'm a bit sorry for pushing it, though. Being stabbed isn't fun. Dying that way has to be worse, but waking up after might be consolation. Although they said they'd been too panicked and depressed to truly think of it that way until Marshal saved them.

Charlie used the word saved when describing it, and at that point I thought better of asking. They are, at least, making our navigation of this new world easier." I'll admit that it looks nice on the surface," They say, speaking to a machop who is trying to sell us a house, "But I c an tell that a lot of the wood needs resealed, the floor is cracked under those carpets, and the bands and hinges on everything are rusting out. Nine thousand."

It's a large, domed-shaped building with three rooms, and it looks good enough to me, but the ghost is more critical. They've also talked the price down to where we can pay for it with a weeks worth of work. Machop purses his lips, obviously frustrated that Charlie knows what they're talking about. He taps his foot a few times before conceding, " Fine, n ine thousand. No lower." A whole house. For f ive days of work. That even leaves us with three thousand. Finally, a place to sleep indoors.

* **" What do you mean my grandfather's a pokemon?!"

Charlie seems increasingly convinced that no matter how long it takes us to get home, we will return without having been missed. I hope they're right. They certainly seem certain it's possible, at least. Two years is a long time. I might not be on speaking terms with particular members of my family, but I'm beginning to miss the rest more than ever. I also need to have a few words with two of them. ***" I can't begin to tell you how much I missed having arms!"

I say, waggling my clawed fingers while riding the high of evolution like Weaver and Charlie told me to. It really does feel good." And with that…" Weaver begins, grinning, "We can finally eat. Charlie!" C harlie, with all the time they have while the rest of us sleep, has taken up far too many hobbies to keep track of anymore, with only a few sticking around over the years. Cooking was probably the best out of all of them. Although the ghost usually only tastes a small amount of what they make.

None of us complain about it, of course. Doubly so for the pastries. A cake roughly the size of Espeon appears from nowhere, having been teleported in by the mismagius. The ghost themself appearing an instant later with a basket of slow-grilled meat and berries held in their sleeves, and a second one full of bottles floating beside them. Pokemon don't celebrate birthdays with quite the same fanfare humans do, but evolution? It's a family event, and everyone is expected to stuff their faces and get blackout drunk.

It's a right of passage, after all." There's more in the kitchen," Charlie's haunting voice says from all around us.

"Including pound cak e." E speon, who was already drooling over what the ghost had brought out so far, cheers, "Yes! Please tell me–""I made a whole loaf for you, yes," Charlie says, preempting the still growing psychic. I'm glad he's finally, finally bulking out. He's been too skinny for too long, and seeing him not just eat, but exercise for prolonged periods with out becoming winded brings warmth to my heart. He's… He's really growing up now." Well, go on," Weaver prompts, "You get first pick of everything."

I sit on the stool Charlie made for me, then frown as I look back and see my—now rather stubby looking—tail pressing against the wall. I thought I'd lose it, given I haven't ever seen a zoroark with one. I suppose hiding it is some kind of tradition? Or maybe habit, but I never had the issue of hiding my tail as a zorua. I also feel something push into my long, if rather short by zoroark standards, mane. Turning back around, I realize I almost smashed my cake with it.

But I have three loyal team members, and two of them put up their strongest barriers to keep the worst from happening. T he third moved to catch the cake with her mouth.

"You mean… you've actually figured it out?" I ask the mismagius. I'm almost afraid to believe it at this point." I'm fairly certain, at least," Charlie replies, gesturing at the chalkboard they're using as an aid for us smaller minds." Dungeons are a smaller version of the effect we'll need, but I'm already working on making it more directed. It's all about how the three fundamentals create reality as a whole, and how ghosts specifically can affect one pillar of that. Now, 'distortion' is a misnomer …"

By necessity, I tune Charlie out. I've never doubted the ghost's intelligence, but sometimes it's still shocking to realize how much they have in their head." Having said all that," They eventually begin to wind down." I… m ight need to make a few gods a tiny bit angry for it to work," They reveal. Ah.

"Did it work?" Weaver asks, regaining her bearings faster than the rest of us." At least partially," The ghost groans, vibrating my bones with the sound.

"Sorry, a little woozy," they apologize." This doesn't look like Almia," I say, slowly getting to my feet.

"Maybe central Unova?"

"… Fuck," The ghost swears.

"I should have used you to establish the bridge."" Why?" I ask still looking around. My nose is picking up on a lot of things it hasn't since it was a pathetic human olfactory organ, but there's something off, too." We're in my old world," Charlie reveals, staring at the closest building to us.

"Right near where I died." O h. That could be a problem given Charlie's said there aren't any pokemon, but they are recognizable." I'm… Um, I–" The ghost stammers, "I need to find a few people." * **" That's why wars are fought alongside pokemon," I say, inspecting the bullet I just pulled out of my fur." The strong ones, including us now, would make a mockery of a human only military force." I look up at the black-clad 'special forces' personnel, "I suppose we are, as it happens."

T he dark building grows darker, despite the lights the humans are using to try and blind us. C harlie had been right that once people knew about us a lot of different things would happen. It seems like a good portion of the public was excited, although some were also horrified.

Corporations and governments trying to capture us was, according to the ghost, a given. And try they have. Even a legal challenge, for some strange reason. It seems like none of them were ready, though. T he ones who are trying to capture us especially. Tranquilizers back home are made with things they don't have here, and don't work all that well on larger pokemon anyway. The ones they tried barely even made us dizzy for a few seconds. Now they've escalated." How much longer do you need?" I project."

Thirty minutes," Charlie responds without appearing, causing most of the humans present to collapse from the pain, even this far away from the ghost." Twenty if Espeon can refocus on this." I feel a bit bad for the mismagius, but they've assured me that they made peace with putting this world behind a while ago. Now we just need to get home. Preferably without killing anyone. That becomes harder when a flash-grenade gets tossed my way. Not that I'm actually standing there, or even in the room anymore.

Weaver's been quietly laughing at them for it. ▲▲▲ ▼▼▼ M aeve settles on the bench next to me, sighing. We don't exchange words. T hey aren't needed.

Today has been good, a beautiful April day, and now is a time for rest before we continue it. Our rest is short lived, however, when our granddaughter appears from one of the alleys leading to this park. She spots us quickly, fully marching over before putting a– claw in my face?" You have some explaining to do," Ryu, my granddaughter, my fellow zoroark, says, three other pokemon appearing behind her." Maeve, dear," I glance at my wife, " Have we perhaps missed something vital?"

"I think we have," Maeve responds, laughing.

"Caught yourselves in a bother, did you? Must have been quite the shenanigan," She says to the four of them, in her native tongue.

"You're correct, Ryuko. We have a lot to explain to you. I expect Charlie there has told you a lot already, though."