Chương 242: Chapter 263: Popcorn

In theory I'm a genius. Top-notch intellect, logged and official. A deeper and broader knowledge than anyone else in this world, hidden sciences and glimpses of possibility. Knowledge of the future and how to shape it effectively to my needs and plans. Finely-honed faculties: my memory and recall are carefully trained, my skills in processing and collection have been trained like a muscle, taught the effective methods of allocation and problem-solving.

Not merely drilled in one skill to prodigious expertise, but also taught to think thoroughly, actively, and carefully. But as I've pointed out, everything comes down to execution. What is true in theory can be disproved by practice. And if you sit down with seven of your love interests, all at the same time, then you're a fucking idiot. As I have done.

Not only have I walked in where Enefiat, Kimothy, Kurumi, Quarl, Rabert, Tiviti, and Thumper were all gathered and just let things progress so that we were all sitting together comfortably for a fun casual chat, but I have done it in the campus commons which everyone knows as the local Makeout Point and all the couples and crushes come together to make terrible choices together. Unsupervised, no chaperones. At the beginning of the year typified as "we should take this to the next level".

It's okay, I'm not without options. I've still got that Red Pawn in my inventory, I can throw that out, summon a random monsters, and escape during the confusion. Wait, that might hurt the wrong people. All my other plans are even less practical than that. So here I am, sat down with every one of my romance partners who is not a grown adult with their own lives, or confined to quarters because they're essentially helpless, or going to die in three weeks.

And since I've only been moderately honest with any of them about how many people I've been flirting with, this could turn into a mass quest-failure. Or, worse, get really mortifying. There's only one thing to do: take charge of the situation.

"All of you are people that I like to think I can go to for help," I said, which is entirely accurate as a way to rephrase the situation. Love interest equals quest focus, and the quests are largely give and take- half of them are the protagonist offering help to the questgiver, the other half is the questgiver offering help back.

"In your own ways. It's funny, how different people seem to fit in different ways. But all of you are important to me. And, if I may play for more drama than usual, that makes you important to the whole world as well."

"So sayeth the greatest storyteller and dramatist of our time," Kimothy chuckled.

"All hail the Queen of Stories!" Thumper called forth, a hand raised in a pantomime of a celebratory toast.

"I like it, I'll add it to the resumé," I said. Kurumi was looking around and doing some mental math.

"Hold right up. Four of you went out with her to go fight an entire jungle full of monsters. I've already had a taste of that action, and a single taste quenched my appetite for good. This better not be more liches & labyrinths." Whoops. Yeah, of the seven people assembled here, only Trazom and Rabert have never gone out with me on a monster-killing spree. Kurumi's kinda close to putting together too much information. I smiled like nothing's wrong.

"Not to worry. I'm not currently recruiting for another dungeon run or guild expedition. I've only got two of those events scheduled for this year, one of them is solo-only and the other is volunteer-only. And I mean real volunteers this time, not like what happened with the liches." Trazom startled.

"You've fought liches?" Kimothy put his feet up on a foggy ottoman footstool.

"She's fought enough liches to get tired of it. From what I hear, she's got it down to a science." Thumper gave me an incredulous look.

"He's exaggerating?" Kurumi rolled her eyes.

"He's really not. I've seen this woman destroy three liches, and none of them gave her more trouble than taking off a jacket." This shit again.

"I told you," I seethed, "that I didn't realize the sleeves buttoned at the wrist! It's not like I don't know how jackets work!" Rabert raised a hand.

"I will request later that we return to this jacket business because I believe this may be incredibly funny. I would circle back to what the princess was saying about all of us being people that she trusts and can come to for help. That was very thoughtfully said, and I would like to see that added to my own resumé as well."

"You will absolutely confirm your place as a trustworthy and helpful friend in deed if you never bring up that jacket episode," I promised him. Quarl's face twitched with just a bit of mischief.

"I'm tempted by that offer, but also by my curiosity." Tiviti leaned over and used a whispering tone loud enough to make sure I could hear, " Just agree for now. I'll tell you about it later." I jabbed a finger.

"You're bluffing, I know you don't know that story." Look, there's not that much to it. I had a new jacket, and the first couple days I wore it I just let sorcery take care of it. Whisked it on in the morning, whisked it away after class. I had not actually put it onto myself with my own hands, really. So because the buttons normally fastened and unfastned themselves, I didn't ever realize they were not just decorative.

So, yes, I spent five frustrating minutes or so trying to get my hand pulled through a too-narrow sleeve with my elbows trapped by the fabric while I tossed back and forth trying to overpower the wool fabric because just once I wanted to prove I could do something without magic but I picked the wrong battle that day. It could've happened to anyone but it's only actually funny because it happened to me instead. A deep breath in, then out.

"As I was saying, you're all people that I could-" Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

"This feels like a popcorn talk," Thumper said.

"I'm gonna get popcorn. Don't drop anything too heavy until I get back." She moved to get up off the couch, interrupting me just as I was about to crest the hard part.

"Oh godsdammit," I groaned, sinking back.

"I'm kidding," she said.

"Spit it out, princess, you've clearly got something big on your mind." She sat with an impish grin. I glared at her, but she was unrepentant. I would have preferred at least slightly repentant.

"That's not funny," I chastised.

"It's a little funny," Quarl said in her defense. Kimothy nodded. I'm surrounded by traitors, here in my innermost circle of trusted advisors. Trazom cleared his throat.

"I believe she's trying to say something that is difficult for her. Breaking the tension is only breaking her momentum."

"Thank you Enefiat," I said. He looked at me expectantly. I deflated.

"But actually popcorn does sound really good, now that Thumper mentioned it."

"On it," she said, hopping up and jogging away to the kitchenette.

"Just bring all the stuff, I'll heat it here," I called after her. I should not have been surprised that Thumper was right, whether or not she was joking. When she came back we pulled the three couches closer into a tighter triangle, and she laid out a metal bowl that was not nearly large enough for the quantity of kernels she had brought with her, but she also brought way more butter or salt than we were going to need, which was perfect.

Kimothy conjured three more bowls of white jade and parceled the kernels out, and I sealed the tops with a layer of hardened air while he added scalding heat to the jade. In seconds all the popcorn was popping off hard, ricocheting off the sealed lids. We cooled the bowls while leaving the popcorn heated and steaming, and passed out butter and salt. Thumper snatched a bowl for herself, Tiviti shared one with Quarl and Kimothy. Rabert and Kurumi split a share, and the last one went between me and Trazom.

The smell wafting off of buttered popcorn instantly put me at ease in a way almost nothing else could have done. I summoned a pair of bamboo chopsticks, I've gotten comfortable eating popcorn like this. I sealed us all in with layers of air, some hardened like walls and a thin vacuum between that deadened sound like a full meter of studio foam. The rest of the room sort of went away, and I added a rippling distortion effect to try to deter any random lip-readers that may be present. Deep breath.

In to the bottom of the lungs, then out slow.

"Everything I do is preparation for what comes next," I started.

"Even the parts that feel like they are an end unto themselves. I don't take extraordinary measures to become a powerful sorceress because my goal is to be a sorceress. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love magic and the things it does for me. But that's not the reason. I don't build wealth or income because money makes me happy. Though, again, I do enjoy it as much as I should. Political connections, influence, combat skills, weapons... I do these things because I'm going to need them."

The munching of popcorn answered me. They snacked and listened.

"Even taking the succession from my brother. For most people of my position, that is their main life goal, and checking that of the list is the highlight of their decade, at least. This time last week, the plan set out for me was to marry someone influential to secure a good trade agreement, or to marry someone who was very influential but not quite loyal to my family.

And now this week, the plan set out for me is to take over the management and operation of an entire duchy, with all the perks and power that comes with that. It's a big step. A huge step." Rabert chuckled.

"Muranda Nhullit has traded dozens of lives and every scrap of her own humanity to get into that same position." Quarl spoke through popcorn.

"My impression was that Muranda would have traded dozens of lives and every scrap of her humanity for a necklace she doesn't even particularly want. She's just like that."

"It would not behoove me to characterize my House's matriarch," Rabert said, and took a handful of popcorn. Which of course basically confirms everything.

"And even this is a step towards another step," I continued.

"Some here already know. Some are going to learn about it soon. What is going to happen, what's going on... it's big. It's too big, to be quite honest." I felt like I was falling forward. This was not something I had planned. I did not come to the commons to have this conversation. I did not intend to go where I was headed. I could see what I was about to say, and I understood it, but this had not been part of a cohesive plan. It just happened.

All I wanted was to get out of an awkward conversation and now all of this information is spilling out, each word is a bead on a string and it pulls the next one after it.

"Money, grades, sorcery, tools, inventions, the support of the people, all of these will come into play," I said.

"I need to build strength on strength to get where I need to be." I was not looking at any of them anymore, and I couldn't tell if they were watching me. My eyes were fixed on, of all things, the chopsticks in my hands. I like using them for popcorn. I can serve it up just as salty and buttery as I want, and I just set the chopsticks down and I can use my hands without having to wash off first. Also, it only picks up one or two morsels at a time, so it encourages me to slow down.

One of the worst things about popcorn is how fast it goes, if you grab handfuls it doesn't last long. But spacing it out lets you enjoy it more. The only downside is that nobody eats popcorn with chopsticks so you look like a weirdo. My official job title comes with a tiara. There's certain kinds of self-consciousness that you get over pretty fast. I'm a lot better at handling people gawking at me than I am someone offering a real, heartfelt compliment.

"And I know already that I'm going to need to lean on people. Rather a lot of them. Family, friends. Strangers. My butler. And all of you. Probably most of all. But I know not to pour from an empty cup, and I know that even rivers need replenished from their source. I hope it goes without saying that you can come to me with anything you need. Any questions, any hardships. After all, that's what the money is for. It's what my leverage and titles are for. If my sorcery cannot help people that matter, it's wasted."

"Damn right that goes without saying," Thumper said, sounding a little heated. I glanced up, surprised.

"Princess, you're talking like we don't know you'd help us. Now, I've only been through a few days of life-and-death danger with you and half of these other fine folk, but I'm pretty sure that anyone on these couches understands that you'd march into hell for the sake of any of us."

"Quite right," Trazom said with a firm nod.

"Not only would she march into hell, she'd already have a plan for how to get back," Rabert said, looking proud of himself.

"Two plans in case one fails," I retorted.

"But also this can't be about me. I don't think it was ever supposed to be all about me. I want all of you, as well, to watch out for each other. Maybe we don't all need to live in each other's pockets, I know most of us here have reasons not to want to talk about ourselves. But I'm hoping that if you all see each other, recognize each other, you'll have someone you can go to. There may be others, someday."

I don't think Nux is going to do any of them any good, but if I cure Belisa and introduce her, I don't want them surprised. Maybe I'm fucking up in a big way, introducing them to each other. Maybe I'm creating a problem for myself. People do get jealous and every one of them is carrying a tag that labels them my love interest. And Harigold Glitter has never had a harem ending- I'm not under any apprehension that it's going to develop one just for my sake.

But I know that I get strengthened by them, and they get strengthened by me. And I don't think that's the only options. I think that Thumper's [Access] would help Kurumi become more [Wealthy]. I think that the [Huntress] and [Assassin] would make a good combination. And so on. What doors Thumper can't open, Trazom can. We've already seen how sorcerous power and material resources will enhance one another. Maybe this is how I screw things up and get trapped in bad endings.

Or maybe this is how I exchange a dozen insurmountable problems for one single dilemma that I can talk my way out of.