Chương 18: DMV

Ch 18. DMV Ahead of John in the line were two Naga, a golem of some sort, and a gnome. That boded well, if he'd been behind a halfling he'd have to wait for him to finish some smalltalk. An Elf would be even worse, taking their sweet time to read the document a thousand times and asking for minute changes that would not be made by the staff. This was his third, and supposedly final line to wait in at the Department of Magical Verifications.

He needed to irregularly renew his business license based on the celestial positioning of a half dozen different galaxies, planets, stars, and asteroids. It usually averaged out to just about every fourteen months or so. The building itself was basically a living MC Escher painting.

If he looked up he could see a line of people waiting to get their city-flying permits, but if he looked left he could see another line running perpendicular to his own that seemed to be entirely made up of men with heads like mushrooms and signs in a language his translation enchantment seemed entirely unable to decipher. The halls, stairways, and signs were all varying shades of blue, gray, or blue-gray.

That lack of visual interest seemed to balance out the strange geometry of the building into something just less than interesting. He stepped forward as the gnome finished up his business and made his way toward the exit which was, at that moment, just a short leap off a stairway that led to nothing. He yawned, wondering how he'd spend the rest of his time. He'd had Andressa block off the entire day just in case things took overlong, but it seemed as if he'd have most of the afternoon to himself.

He stepped up to the counter and slid them the five forms with seven signatures and four initials each. The thing behind the desk was wearing a simple collared shirt and pants and seemed to be covered entirely in eyes. It took the documents carefully, licked each of their corners with tongues that appeared when one of the eyes split open to reveal a mouth and nodded at him.

"You're all set until the light of the stars once again touches the darkness of Xuul."

"Thank you very much." The eyes all smiled.

"You are very welcome. See you then." John nodded and started to walk toward the exit, but as he reached the large atrium where a dozen stairways seemed to blink into and out of existence depending on what you needed, he saw Andressa. Unlike at the office she was wearing a black t-shirt and blue pants. Her brow was furrowed and her tail was bouncing back and forth like an irritated cat's.

"Andressa?" asked John, approaching her. She looked at him, and steadied herself, putting on a neutral expression.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Renewing the business license. You?"

"Well, this is just a very good place to feed. Lots of people anxious about what forms go where, and which set of stairs to take, and accidentally filling out a form that ends in ten-thousand years of servitude to the great unclean one." He eyed the stack of documents under her arm openly, and looked back at her, her usually cool expression cracking just a bit.

"Here to feed you say?" He asked, enjoying the shoe being on the other foot for once. She took a breath.

"Fine. I'm here to change my place of residence. I'm still marked by Avalon as being from hell and I want to be a local."

"I'll help," he said as he started to look for the correct set of stairs. She shook her head.

"It's okay, I can manage."

"I'm sure you could, but I don't have anything better to do. Besides, I help new arrivals with this all the time," he found the correct stairway and gestured for her to follow, "this way." He started walking and Andressa followed behind him closely. They stepped onto the stairs and halfway up there was a perspective shift that triggered their vertigo. She reached out and grabbed his shoulder to steady herself. Her touch gave him goosebumps. Her hand was very warm, even through his suit jacket and shirt.

He swallowed.

"You okay." This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it. She nodded.

"Hells got some odd geometry, but this is a bit much."

"It was an adjustment for me the first time too. Luckily, you'll only need to do this once… though I was considering having you renew the business license next time."

"I have a feeling I'll be sick that day." John chuckled and they walked a bit higher up the stairs until they came to a counter very similar to the one he'd just been sitting in front of. The line was made up of a Fae, another demon, and a…. Something John really couldn't even begin to describe.

"This is the first counter. I'm guessing you already have all of your forms?" She nodded and patted them a little anxiously as they moved with the line.

"Is something wrong?" She forced a smile, then dropped it.

"Paperwork like this makes me very nervous. Back home signing the wrong piece of paper is a very bad idea. I've always managed to avoid any trouble with it, but everyone treats these things so casually up here…except for the fae, they seem to have the right of it."

"How long have you been in Avalon?" asked John. They hadn't had a lot of conversations about their respective pasts, they were usually too busy ribbing one another or talking about work.

"About a year."

"Wow, you're doing incredibly well then."

"Really?"

"For my first year I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. All I had was a lot of gold from the fey, and no idea what was happening. I ate at the same restaurant every day because of just how terrifying I found everything." She smiled.

"Well, it's not too much of a surprise that I'm doing better. I have a feeling that the transition from hell is a bit easier than the one from your Earth."

"I wouldn't know, I've never been."

"Well, most mortals don't really care for it. It's kind of the last place most of them would want to visit."

"I don't know, I've met a lot of demons that were lovely people. Maybe it's not as bad as I've been led to believe."

"Oh, you think I'm lovely?" He sighed.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"You don't think I'm lovely?" she asked with mock sadness. He let out a more exaggerated sigh, but he was actually happy she'd started needling at him. She usually radiated a lot of confidence and certainty, so it had been odd to see her so out of her element. It was her turn, and they approached the desk together. The eye-covered entity looked at them.

"Proof of residence, signed six oh one, and initialed five six seven four," it said from a mouth that must've existed somewhere on its left shoulder, though John couldn't see it. Andressa nodded as she handed the creature the forms. It laid all of them out in front of itself and read all of them simultaneously, its eyes all seeming to pick which document to read at random.

"Hmmm," it said, grabbing one of the forms. Andressa paled a bit to a shade just above pink.

"You forgot to initial here." She let out the breath she'd been holding and took the page, quickly marking it with a pen John was almost certain she'd stolen from the office. The creature took the form back and glanced at it, nodding.

"You're all set. Avalon will henceforth recognize you as a part of it. Have a nice day."

"Uh, thank you," she said as she and John stepped out of the line.

"You got lucky, normally you need to hand those forms to three separate counters and then do a fourth."

"Well, I'm sorry you won't have the excuse to spend the extra time with me," she replied with a smile. He reddened a bit, but rallied quickly, smiling.

"If I wanted more time with you, I'd just pretend I didn't know the way back and lead you aimlessly up different sets of stairs for a while." He paused and pointed at a set extending to their right." This is the way back, by the way." She eyeballed him, then where he was pointing.

"Cheeky," she said as she walked toward the steps. She had her confident stride and high-chinned look as she walked up the stairs that inexplicably took them back to the atrium where they'd started.

"Thank you, John," she said as they approached the exit. He was surprised by the sincerity in her voice, but decided it to meet it with his own.

"You're welcome." They stood together awkwardly at the exit for a few moments and John considered asking if she wanted to get a bite to eat, before deciding against it, even though she had a kind of expectant look on her face.

"Well…I'll see you tomorrow," he said as he walked away, heading back to his apartment for a long afternoon of reading and losing his train of thought to the memory of her steadying herself by holding his shoulder. Andressa watched him go for a moment, frowning, before she started walking home too.