Chương 31: BLITZ DAY!

Blitz Day had finally arrived. No rankings or generals would be exchanged. The event was all about short scenarios, variant rules, bonus loot and bragging rights. Duncan had explained it was supposed to be a relaxing break before the next phase of the campaign. Robin had been waiting for this all week. He overslept and woke to Una barking that he had ten minutes to shower and eat. Robin shut his eyes tight. His head pounded and he almost told Una he didn't want to go. It was his own fault.

He'd gotten so riled up recounting the adventure last night that he couldn't sleep afterward. Ideas coursed through his head. Every seed seemed to branch into a thousand new stories. Each time he was almost asleep, a new idea would bloom. He had to flick on the flashlight and jot it in his journal. His dreams were full of traps and dragons. His morning was a mess. Una caught him at the door and sent him back. He had on two differently colored socks. In the car, he clenched his jaw to keep from drifting off.

If he fell asleep, Tita would drive him right back home.

"¿Estás bien?" (You all right?)"Just sleepy. I'll rally," Robin promised. The War Room lights seemed twice as bright as normal. Greeting the gang, Robin saw he wasn't the only one stuck in first gear. Duncan was thick-tongued and stumbling as he tried to organize the matches. Sandy was sucking coffee from a giant styrofoam 7-11 cup. Chuck had on the same clothes from yesterday. Vlad was red-eyed and grumpy, which wasn't much of a change. Still, each of the four had a private smile for Robin when he arrived.

The morning hurt, but it was worth it. They'd all been a part of something great. The games began. Robin's first match was with Sandy Amsler. Sandy had already polished off his giant coffee and caught his second wind. Robin was still waiting for his own. He kept making dumb mistakes. Fortunately, Sandy was in a good mood. He caught a big blunder in Robin's deployment and warned him about it. Sandy didn't seem to mind that it was taking Robin longer than normal to think things through.

It helped a lot that he was being so cool. Robin finally started to get into the game. The scenario was an awesome tie-in to their Adventures game. Sandy was playing as his defeated Reavers, now turned traitor and led by Duke Yomone. On a striking battlefield of snow-covered evergreens and red-orange ridges, Robin's objective was to reach Splinterback Bridge. If his Dwarven Engineers could hold it for a turn, they could blow it up and stop Yomone's advance against the hinterlands.

Sandy needed to either cross the bridge, or capture three soldiers so he could torture them to learn Yureg's whereabouts. There were two bonuses: a small one for each troop Sandy could corrupt, and a huge one if Robin could slay the duke. Sandy surprised Robin with a few sharp moves and built an early point lead. Robin countered desperately, feeling like he was always a step behind.

On turn four, Robin realized he could win the entire game next turn by engaging with his Shieldbearers so that his Halberdiers could use Doubletime! to reach the bridge. But Duke Yomone was right in the open, begging to be charged. Hungry for the bonus, Robin sent in his footmen. The Veteran Imperial Halberdiers fought with well-trained precision and rolled ten hits! Alas! Not one wounded the Duke. Yomone was in full flush of the Bladed Lady's Favor.

He made save after save and his vicious counterattack cut the Halberdiers to shreds. With no champion to steady them, the wounded Imperials failed their morale check and succumbed to the poisonous allure of Chaos Manifest. The Dwarves abandoned their feckless allies and tried to reach the bridge, but time ran out. Sandy was triumphant and won the maximum bonus. Oof! It was good to see Sandy win for once, but no fun to be the victim, especially with loot at stake. Robin thought he hid it well, but Sandy could tell.

"You all right, bud?" Sandy asked quietly as he offered a post-game shake. Robin swallowed the urge to slap his hand away. Martillos don't do that. You take your loss like a man.

"All good. Can't win 'em all. Congrats!" Robin assured him.

"You almost had me! Next time!" Sandy smiled. The aspirin wasn't working. During the break, Robin went to the bathroom and took two more. He never took pills in front of the guys. He didn't want to answer any questions. When he came out, a nightmare was waiting. Duncan had brought out a brand new army, the Arcane Beasts. The paint was barely dry on his models because the army wasn't even officially released yet. The Arcane Knights wore glittering runic mail and rode on armored Hippogriffs.

Their footmen were Ethereal Beings made from transparent plastic. Reception from the club was mixed: some thought they looked cool, others thought they looked too much like toys and they'd be hard to paint. The game took place in a ravine between two shattered watchtowers. Eager to avoid a repeat of his first match, Robin deployed his force aggressively and focused hard on the objective.

His position seemed good, but the ethereal beings were almost impossible to hit without a magician and they could maneuver right through units. The Arcane Knights had outrageous stats. Everyone was watching, eager to see the new army. Robin couldn't score a single victory point.

"Welcome to new army power creep," Sandy rued. He and Chuck shook their heads in sympathy. They weren't alone, the whole club seemed to agree that Arcane was completely overpowered. Vlad had watched the match very closely. At one point, Duncan nodded at Robin and winked. The Heartbroken Brigade's crushing defeat would help him sell a boatload of models. There were two more games left. The next was a grudge match against Jeremy's Cohort of Chaos.

As promised, JC had not forgotten his Riftmaster's humiliation during the Miracle at Macamill. He stayed locked-in all match. Jeremy sat up straight, watched every roll, and didn't even eat candy while they played. Robin followed suit and thought through each move with intense focus. It felt more like a chess match than a wargame. There were no crazy rolls this time, just a tense battle where the lead passed back and forth several times. Writhewood Blight was an assault scenario.

Robin's army needed to to run through a gauntlet of Abominations and a living briar to halt a profane ritual. He only had three turns to reach the defiled altar and stop the Summoner Coven from awakening the Black-Palmed One. JC had left a clear path of attack, but Robin was sure it was a trap. Robin feinted with his Shieldbearers and JC's Severspace Spell triggered prematurely. Then, a wedge of Halberdiers blasted through the Pigman Phalanx. The mob of monstrosities cracked and the Berserkers charged into the gap.

Victory was so close. Unfortunately, Burbak Breakbow wasn't with his Blood-Brothers. At the start of Blitz Day, Robin had missed his Death's Door roll by a single pip. Without Burbak's bonuses, the Berserkers got bogged down in a unit of Formless Ones buffed by a patch of Accursed Earth. Robin took a final shot with his Hawkmoon, trying to kill at least one cultist and stop JC from getting the special scenario bonus. There was no miracle this time. The shot fell short.

Jeremy leapt to his feet and thrust his hand across the table.

"Gotcha! Good game!"

"Well played." Robin shook his hand. JC's palm was wet with sweat. Robin realized his own fingers were trembling too. This one hurt. It was the most intense game he'd ever played and his third loss in a row. His stomach was upset from adrenaline and taking aspirin without food. He was pretty sure he'd have to sneak away to barf in a bit. Robin wished he'd just stayed in bed. After Duncan called the match officially, JC cracked open his army case. He'd already bought and painted a Black-Palmed One.

He was that sure he'd win. The faceless corrupter held up a long-fingered hand. A creepy yellow eye winked from its coal-black palm and wept tears of blood. Jeremy explained how he'd used two types of resin to get the yellow and ruby casts. Robin had to admit, it looked cool. Even Sandy was impressed.

"You couldn't kill a single cultist?" Bill Wilson scowled at the Black-Palmed One. For the rest of the campaign, JC's Cohort of Chaos would be a huge problem for everyone.

"I tried." Robin held out a hand to his Berserkers, so very close to the altar. He was just a few centimeters out of charge-range.

"The dice said no."

"You see Blinky here? Every time the Black-Palmed One force-converts one of your units, you can all say'Thank you, Martillo.'" Jeremy crowed.

"Thank you, Martillo," Bill and Brian sang. It was so unfair for them to blame Robin. But protesting wouldn't help, it would only make the razzing stick. Robin held out his palms to the War Room and beckoned, let me have it. A few people snickered, the tension broke, and that was all for the gimmick. Robin knew all about being singled out. Even at their meanest, the Duke crew had nothing on the fútbol kids back in Amarillo.

On Maverick Street, everyone was broke, every weakness was attacked, and no one let up, ever. There was just one game left. Robin would face Bill Wilson's Gorelord Goblins. There's no way I'm going home on a loss, Robin told himself, trying to regain his confidence. If he lost every game, Una would never let him hear the end of it. He wanted so badly to win, but the dice were against him. At the end of the second turn, Robin was one wound from defeat. The Gorelord Savages were well-suited for tunnel fighting.

Without Cinnabinathi and Hilg, the Hawkmoon lost their Multishot bonus and the Shieldbearers couldn't perform Bulwark of the Ages. Robin's Lieutenant failed his armor save and died to a lowly Goblin Spearman. Disgraceful! This triggered his Grim Fate onus: if Robin's other leader died, the game was over. Luckily, Robin had all his boons on the Veteran Sergeant. As long as he survived, it would be all right. With glee, Bill sicced his Bloodfiends on the Sergeant. The elite unit mobbed him down to a single wound.

"Tough luck, kid." Bill held out a hand. Robin hadn't offered to resign.

"I'm not done," Robin said.

"You don't think so?" Bill smirked. What a jerk! The worst part was, he was probably right. Even with his boons, there was almost no chance the Sergeant could survive another turn of attacks. Still, there was zero chance Robin would surrender, not after Bill sided with Jeremy. He scanned the battlefield carefully, looking for any sliver of hope. Analyzing the position, Robin realized that Bill actually wasn't playing that well. First, he was ignoring the special scenario rules.

On turn one, he sent his Horrablin Sappers into the back tunnels to flank. They failed their roll and were Lost for the rest of combat. After that, Bill gave up and didn't commit any more troops, even though the chance to break through improved each turn. A lucky roll could have broken Robin's army, but he didn't see any need to tell Bill that. Second, Bill was so eager to get the kill he didn't activate Disperse! on his Bloodfiends. This was more of a calculated risk. Their damage was huge.

If they could survive and get the last wound, it was checkmate. Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings. Robin ignored the rest of the Warband and threw everything at the Bloodfiends. The Shieldbearers failed, but the Hawkmoon riddled them with arrows. Bill was ready for this, and tried to activate Unslakeable Thirst. Thanks to the magic penalty from the Dwarves, the spell fizzled. The Goblins took a big morale hit from seeing their elites shot to pieces.

Next turn, Bill activated Surge! and surrounded the Veteran Sergeant. Robin had given him Unbreakable and Armor of Faith. Armor of Faith let the Sergeant save any fatal wound on a five or a six. Unbreakable meant it took two wounds on the same turn to kill him. The bonuses stacked and the Sergeant survived long enough for his Halberdiers to save him. Bill grew redder with every failed roll. Tough luck, kid. The turn ended. The Heartbroken Expedition held the line against the Gorelord Horde. Victory!

Robin was too relieved to celebrate. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

"This is complete BS," Bill Wilson fumed. The Blitz was through and Bill had lost every match.

"Good game." Robin offered a shake, but Bill scowled at his hand like it was covered in dirt. Robin let his hand drop. It was an unsatisfying way to end the day. He began to pack his army away, a little worried Bill might do something stupid. The tables were too big to flip, but people had tried before.

"It's just a skirmish. We can do-over if you want. I think you missed—."

"Hey, kid? Cram it." Bill barked. He looked mad enough to fight. Suddenly, Robin realized Bill was seventeen and twice his size. Duncan was already on his way over.

"Tempers flare! Settle, fellas. How'd the round go?"

"Horrible!" Bill's voice raised.

"Who came up with this scenario? It's garbage!"

"Is that so? Let me take a look. Maybe a rule was misplayed. Robin, did you record the match?" Robin already had the Diario open.

"Wait, Robin lost his LT with Grim Fate on turn one? That's huge. Bill, what are you complaining about?"

"It's rigged. Goblins can't win." Duncan looked over Robin's notation.

"Did Bill not send any other units to the back tunnels after the Horrablins got Lost?"

"He did not." Robin confirmed.

"There's only a one-in-six chance they get through. It's just throwing points away. The attacker can't win. The scenario is stupid." Bill crossed his arms over his chest.

"It's not the scenario that's stupid," Vlad cut in.

"The back tunnels aren't one-in-six. They're one-in-six, plus one per turn. The workshop siege is supposed to snowball for the Goblins."

"What? No it isn't." Duncan tapped on the scenario card where it read: +1/T. He left a chocolatey fingerprint, but the cards were laminated for that very reason. He wiped it off against his jeans, good as new.

"That's why I offered you the mulligan," Robin explained.

"I didn't see that. Why didn't you tell me during the game?" Bill scowled at Robin.

"Why would I help you beat me? Honestly, I thought I was going to lose anyway. You just needed two wounds to win. It was a fluke," Robin shrugged.

"Where have I heard that one before?" JC called over.

"This kid has the most ridiculous luck. It couldn't save him today, though. Chaos reigns supreme!" He made the Sign of the Horns and high-fived Bryan.

"Oooh! This campaign is heating up and I love it. All right, time for an official ruling. Once again, illiteracy keeps the green scourge in check. Read your scenarios, boys. No do-over," Duncan announced.

"Don't call me stupid," Bill growled at Vlad, just now realizing.

"What else can you call it? Bloodfiends have Infiltrate. You wasted them on his buffed damage soak, like a dope. If you'd hit his backline and cut out his archers, this would have been over in two turns." Robin's eyebrows raised. He hadn't even considered that. Vlad was right. Infiltrators were the reason he always put Skymetal Scimitar on his Hawkmoon Champion. They had no chance in melee without her. If he'd been matched against Vlad, he'd have lost for sure.

"Don't call me a dope either, lardass." Bill's hands balled into fists. It was about to get ugly.

"Both of you settle down right now. Can we please get through one Blitz Day without me issuing sportsmanship penalties? The next person who disparages another player is forfeiting his next two matches," Duncan raised his voice and stared at Vlad. It was weird to hear him being serious.

"Fine," Bill said.

"Sorry," he nodded at Robin.

"De nada."

"OK, are we cool? Can we do loot?" Sandy asked. To everyone's surprise, he'd won all of his games. Sandy didn't get as distracted during the shorter matches.

"Yes, we can!" Duncan said, grateful for the break. He brought out a trading card box with "LOOT!" written in sparkly gold letters. Inside were a stack of handmade cards. Everyone gathered around. First, there was a consolation prize. Because he lost all of his matches, Bill got to roll twice. Robin hadn't known about the rule. He probably would have been better off if he'd just thrown his last match and avoided the tantrum. As he thought about it, he was glad he hadn't. The win was more important.

Duncan let Bill go first to cool him off, but the extra roll didn't help. He got a boon that was no good for Goblins and a minor artifact. Tough luck, but sympathy for Bill was thin after he'd acted like such an ass. There was better luck elsewhere. Sandy traded his four rolls for one guaranteed epic. He chose the Entwined Souls Pendant which let him field two generals. Vlad and Bryan both groaned. The artifact was game-breaking on Chaos, but almost as good on Reavers.

Now, Sandy could combine the Rune King's potent buffs with Yureg's Whirlwind Aura.

"This is my ticket out of last place!" Sandy cheered. Vlad had also won all of his matches and likewise, traded his rolls for an epic. He hit even bigger than Sandy. With the All-Seeing Crown, Vlad's Warlord could ignore treachery rolls. It was a huge deal. The chief weakness of the Goblins was the penalty from infighting between tribes. Now, Vlad could add the best Gorelord and Bittertree units to his Bla'Claw horde. No one was happy about it, least of all JC.

"Oh man. Sandy, you just gave him the campaign. You should have snatched the crown to keep it out of Vlad's hands," Jeremy complained." Entwined Souls is way better for me. If you want to kingmake, win more games," Sandy teased. He held his new artifact card next to his grin.

"That's right, play to make yourself stronger, not your opponent weaker. Let's see what the Arcane Beasts have wrought!" Duncan took his rolls and got three fives.

"Oops." Duncan held up the card. Vlad's HAW! broke up the room. Card 5 was a Duke Games coupon for half-off any non-clearance unit. Duncan had just won a discount from himself.

"Ha ha! Serves you right for fielding that overpowered monstrosity of an army," Vlad laughed.

"Wait, did Vlad just call someone OP? Robin, write this down in your chronicle.

"In the year of our lord, 1979, hypocrisy reached its all-time peak," Sandy teased.

"So noted." Robin solemnly jotted down the goof. Laughter ran around the room.

"All right, all right. You know, anyone who wants to trade for a sweet half-off coupon, remember this campaign's over at the end of the summer. Miniatures are forever," Duncan pitched, waving the coupon.

"Dream on," Bill shook his head. There were no takers. Robin was the last to roll. He hoped there was something good left in the loot box. The way his luck was going, a half-off coupon was about the best he could hope for. He reached for the dice.

"Let me roll for you, I'm hot!" Sandy urged.

"All yours." Robin gladly handed them over. Sandy shook up the ten-sided dice and rolled 0 and 00.

"WHOA!"

"A hundred! Let's see what he's won!" Duncan hammed it up like he was hosting The Price is Right.

"No. Effin'. Way," Bill mouthed. Card 100 was glossy black. The letters were written in metallic gold marker. The Black Angel's Blessing.

"Damn!" Sandy breathed.

"A legendary! Oh man I should have taken all my rolls. Congratulations, Robin!"

"That is so good with his army," Vlad breathed.

"This is beyond rigged. How did Robin get BOTH The Black Angel's Blessing and the Sharddrake Plate? That's insane. One player shouldn't have two legendaries!" Bill Wilson snapped.

"How exactly do you think a dice roll we all watched is rigged, Bill?" Sandy asked.

"It wasn't his roll! It was yours. He didn't even roll his own dice!"

"Bill, it's fine. They do it in Vegas all the time." Duncan rolled his eyes.

"No, it's not! This whole campaign, you've all been taking it easy on him because he's a kid and he's sick. That's why he got that broken scenario and the easy lay-up last week. That's why you let him into the Adventures playtest and the rest of us got snubbed. I'm tired of it. If you're just going to script the whole campaign for your little mascot, I'm not going to play. This is worse than professional wrestling." The War Room was silent. Robin was stunned and couldn't speak. He wanted to throw up.

The game club was all he had.

"What is wrong with you?" Sandy yelled at Bill. Everyone joined in at once. The whole club shouted at Bill Wilson like he'd wandered into the wrong team's bleachers.

"You are such a jackass, Bill. Nobody cares if Robin's a kid or if he's sick. He's a member of the club. He plays by the same rules as you. He deserves the same respect as any other player," Duncan pointed his finger in Bill's face. Bill slapped it aside.

"BS. You all know I'm right," Bill shot back.

"HA! We all know you're the biggest idiot in the club," Vlad wound up.

"Nobody here is throwing games and messing up their rank. Robin is better than you. He plays hard and doesn't snub handshakes or throw a little hissy fit when he loses. If you want to win some games, maybe read the rules and think before you move."

"Say that to me outside, Flab." Bill raised a fist. Duncan clapped a ruler against the table side like a gavel.

"That's it. No more, Bill. You're suspended for one week. Your next two matches are forfeit."

"Fine! I don't care! Screw you guys. I'm never coming back here." Bill stormed out of the War Room. The bells on the front door jingled as he slammed it behind him. Eyes rolled all over the room.

"I uh. Sorry." Robin sputtered. He pulled his cap brim over his eyes.

"Don't worry about it. This always happens," Vlad said.

"Every single Blitz," Duncan shook his head.

"Someone always loses all four games and rages. I guess the consolation prize idea is a flop."

"Wait, really?" Robin was surprised.

"Without fail. One year, it was Vlad."

"I have no memory of that," Vlad crossed his arms.

"Oh? Curious how you have two forfeits the week after Blitz in the '77 campaign."

"I was probably sick. Anyway, I still won the campaign. That's all that matters."

"I didn't trash-talk him at all. Why'd he get so mad at me?" Robin couldn't understand what had happened.

"Bill has uh, some problems. He's an alright guy usually. In two weeks he'll come back and act like nothing happened. All the stuff he said, it's just him spouting off. No one thinks you're getting special treatment and no one is taking it easy on you." The War Room rumbled with agreement.

"Touching me would have been the worst mistake of his life," Vlad puffed.

"I know aikido."

"The real danger isn't his aikido, it's his BO," Sandy groaned.

"Amsler. If you want to climb out of last place, forfeiting two matches isn't a great way to start," Duncan warned.

"Whoa! I was only kidding, boss. Your presence is a delight to the nose and eyes, Vladomir."

"I have twenty bucks right here that says Amsler's still dead last at the end of the campaign." Vlad held up a roll of quarters. There were no takers, not even Sandy.

"I thought so. Really though, Bill had one thing right. One player with two legendaries is too many. I think there should be a hard limit of one," Vlad argued.

"Easy to say when you have none," Sandy shot back.

"Too much power makes the campaign unbalanced," Vlad said.

"Maybe you're right, Vlad. Actually, I just thought up a great fix for that!" Duncan said.

"What's that?" Vlad asked.

"Roll better."