Chương 327: 5.6

Gem tried to focus on the way that the road's mud was squelching between her toes, the way that the heat of her larger self's flame baked and dried it slightly around her claws before she made a new squelching step was a good distraction.

It was still cool enough on the northern road from Ogien to Rochford that she could bound and skip alongside the horses without exerting herself into an exhausting heat, and it was the only thing she could do to try and distract both of herselves from- No Gem was supposed to focus on enjoying herself! That was the deal, Jewel could worry— Not again! Gem was so far ahead of the party so she could get a clear head without the terrible thoughts leaking back into her! Without the worry tainting both of her self's day!

She needed to focus on the simple joy of mud between her toes, The sparse sunlight of the spring skies! The color of fresh shoots along the trail and the just past budding leaves overhead. The way the wind was cold enough to wick away the heat so she could run and bound and leap and skip forward and back with the party striding twice the distance of the majority of the caravan or more. Gem needed to focus on the burn of exertion and the way her breath could sing like flutes in her bones.

She slid a little in the mud of the road as she finally reached the safe extent ahead of her entourage, where Muriel had taken up position on her horse to watch while Smithson was following up on the rear at a similar distance. Another quick wave to the strained smile of her captain of the guard before Gem took a heavy whistling breath all through her spine and chest and out through her nose. That was maybe the fifth lap she had made of the entire entourage. Time to go back and do it again!

Legs pumping, torso tilted forward, tail sweeping behind her amid the billowing of her traveling skirts. Gem Sprinted back along the left flank of their party. Focused on her footing, eyes ahead to watch for any snares or particularly deep patches of mud. It didn't matter anyway, she was going to be a mess by the time they stopped, she should treat her dresses better than this! But that didn't seem to matter in this moment where the pain tried to burst free of her chest!

She was going to be sore the next morning from pushing herself so hard, but Gem didn't care! She ran as hard as she could, focusing on the burn in her limbs, trying not to cry, trying to keep herself from dwelling on what was consuming her and making her insides roil. The brief wave of both relief and misery washed over her like a soaking shower of grief as Jewel and Gem were once more one. The aching pain she had been mulling over and keeping inside.

The tears she had been holding back in her smaller self breaking free, but no one would spot them at the pace she was setting. She would only have to be in the thick of both of her selves for a short while, her pace would carry her free, just- Jewel did not sigh as again she felt herself left behind while Gem bounded to try and focus on not dwelling on the reason they were leaving in the midst of the spring melt instead of waiting for drier weather. Already missing the feeling of cold mud on rapidly running toes.

If the letters had been any more urgent she would already be on the wing. But her brother's less than clean hand was clear on that point at least." Bethica is dying, not soon but will be this year, asked to see you." Her friend was dying. Not quickly, not soon. But Her friend and confidant for years was dying and had asked to see her! Jewel's fire clenched and she had to hold back the tears that only Gem was allowed to shed on the open road.

She had to remain stately and composed even with the distracting added weight in her belly from what she was now certain was at least two eggs. She had to try and walk with only the pace of the rest of her party. Despite feeling an ache in her wings to vault into the sky and be there as soon as possible." Not soon but will be this year." She'd sent another letter ahead from Ogien demanding clarification and received another of Alexander's stilted replies." Hungry summer at latest, have time, not urgent."

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. Her brother was many things, but a poet was not one of them. The abbreviated and sharp form of the messenger script was somehow so much worse and callous in those few words for how little of the parchment he used for it! But Jewel knew her brother. Alexander was on good terms with Bethica and Celsus. Unlike Paul he rather enjoyed trying (and failing) to verbally spar with the bull in old Cantor.

There was no malice in his curt words. Just an aching hand and less appreciation for the art of writing missives. Still Jewel made the most haste she could afford to manage. Jewel tried to remain strong, to show she was not laid low by the pain of what she was marching towards. But Paul knew how the letter had hurt her. He was riding close to her, Smithson would be acting as 'harbinger' today. The 'Nurse Knight' also certainly knew as well of course. As did Muriel.

The rest of her entourage probably suspected as well. But Jewel could not be less than their Countess now. She had to be the shining Wyrm when they made their stay in the temple of the silver lady. She had to be strong. Again a sudden hitch caught her as Gem ran back up on the right flank of their party. The relief of tears actually shed and the sharp focus she was putting towards the feeling of the moment, the simple joys of life.

Anything to distract both herselves from the clenching terror that had found its way to grip her heart like a lack of breathable air. Bethica was dying! She braced in the relief and confusion of being two again, trying to prepare to be left behind with her smaller self rushing ahead again. She ran even harder with her spawn's legs to try and break the connection sooner. But instead of being left behind Jewel gave a choked cough as, wait, no she wasn't Jewel, she was Gem! There was no extra weight in her belly.

There was far less length and no wings. Just slender arms and tail swinging, legs beating at the mud as she ran. The tears burned even harder, but she tried to focus on something, the air in her lungs and spine, the wind in her ears, the mud between her toes. The sun on her scales and the damp of the air as the morning dew slowly baked off. She squeezed her eyes tight for a hard blink. Trying to forget. To not think of the feeling that had churned inside both her hearts. Just...

Don't think about it, not with both heads, try to do something for herself. For this self. She was not only one self. There was no reason anymore than one of her should suffer this. But Gem struggled to focus. She slid to a stop in the mud of the road ahead of them. Lungs pumping heavily, legs burning, hands clenching tight enough her claws were squeezing into the flesh of her palms. Tail thrashing amidst the skirts of her traveling dress. The spattered mud was caking her legs up to her knees.

The dress was going to be a terrible mess and would need to be beaten in the river tonight and hung to dry during their march tomorrow. Gem panted and breathed as hard as she could. Voice creaking and croaking with the constant torrent of air up through her back and out her nose even as she gulped it down. She could feel her entire body shaking with the feelings roiling inside her. Trying not to scream.

The sound of Muriel's heavy boots landing in the mud and squelching ahead of her horse as she walked with a long rider's aching stride did not stop the shaking. Nor did the sound of creaking armor as her captain knelt down beside Gem. The Wyrmspawn could not open her eyes, the tears would be too obvious. The trembling tension made her jaw hurt. The hand on her shoulder made her jump but the grip was the firmness of a familiar and trusted swordswoman.

"I think little Gem, that's enough running for one day." She couldn't even manage to control her throat enough to speak properly. Just offering a mewling squeak like she hadden't uttered since she was three.

"Mrp!" It was so embarrassing, she could feel the heat of a manish shame on her face.

"Also I think for both of you it would be best if you ride up at the head of the march with me hmm? Just a day for you, right?" Without her larger self Gem could only clench her eyes shut and nod, shivering before a familiar and strong pair of hands hefted her up by a grip on her hips and half tossed her up onto the saddle of Muriel's charger. With practiced grace she slipped her leg and spun over top into place on the saddle, a bit more wyrmflame to make her landing as light as possible.

Precious days of comfort if she found herself separated from her larger self. All spent without even a thought. Her captain groaned from the effort of getting into the saddle herself, and then a light squeeze pushing the horse ahead of the party. Well past what would normally be a proper place for the Captain of a lady's footmen. Gem however could not complain. Her body still refused to stop shaking. Her throat and jaw still clenched so hard they ached. She just wanted to scream.