Chương 70: Chapter 49

It came not with a shudder or a sigh, but a call from the street corners as criers spoke.

"The Elfgate has fallen!" The criers called out, and yet, it felt like distant news. There was worry, but when the next message was called out everyone seemed to just shrug despite how serious it was.

"The King reports a safe evacuation behind the second Gate! The Trolls were devastated for their assault! The King speaks highly of a future counter attack!" I ignored the criers' yells. There would be no counter attack at least not for a long time. Instead of heading for the Foundry I turned around and headed back inside. How could I work when the Elf Gate fell? When Mama was at the Elf Gate! I ran back inside, and headed up to El'Tela's quarters startling her a bit as I burst into her drawing room.

"I… I don't know what to do." I told her, as I stood in front of her.

"Sit." She demanded, looking me over for a moment, and patting the chair next to her.

"What is it?"

"There was news with the Crier… The First Elf Gate fell."

"Ah, that explains your look… I can not promise everything went well, but I doubt the attack was a surprise. They would not have managed to catch us off guard." She offered, taking my hand that I noticed was shaking a bit.

"I… What am I even doing?" I whispered, closing my eyes and clenching my fists, I was already pretty strong. I should go help. I should go protect people!

"You are living your life as you should. You get a chance to grow up, just like all Elflings should."

"I don't feel like that's what's happening at all. All I can do is keep preparing for this war."

"It is not your war child. You're young. Leave the war to the adults."

"I can't. I won't." I told her firmly, and she looked me over before sighing and squeezing my hand a little.

"You have the spirit. But you don't know war Alah'Dorah. You don't want to know war. Enjoy your peace. Live, focus on growing happily."

"Peace? If I want peace, prepare for war. Otherwise the peace isn't peace, but an illusion, ready to fade away at the first strike of an enemy." I argued back. It honestly sounded better in latin, but whatever. El'Tela nodded, despite what she was saying, I could tell she liked what I had said, a little smirk on her lips.

"A good idea, but you are young. There is more to life than preparing for war."

"Not if you don't win." I argued back then flinched back because that had been harsher than I wanted. She was trying to help, not be mean.

"Sorry."

"You are worried. It is normal to be upset." She offered, and I just sighed, because I didn't want to be upset, I wanted to do something! I shook myself. I don't think my plan for the day was something I could do, but I could do something else.

"I'm going to work on some spells instead of going to the Foundry today." I said as I stood up. Since I had Holy Light, I hadn't tried to learn the Healing spell from the Healing Halls but now was a good chance to do just that. Maybe it would teach me something about the Light, something that would finally help me figure out what I was doing wrong.

"Hmm. Work on it here then. You'll take lunch with me." El'Tela stated, surprising me, and I looked over. She was worried about me.

"Sure, Grandma." —-- I poured the dust over the amulet, letting it layer lightly, no clumps. It was kinda like pouring salt, only you couldn't stir it up after to fix any issues. Luckily I had a neat little trick. An unexpected synergy. Banish Dust was meant for dirt and particles like that, but enchanting dust did count. So with a wave of my hand, I shifted the dust on the amulet until it was lined perfectly, all the extra was gathered up in a swirl cyclone in my hand that I dropped back into the jar.

Then I started enchanting, letting a little mana flow into the object, and guiding it to the correct pathways the dust now created. The sound of a whine filled the air for a moment as the dust adhered to the object the mana flowed, and the enchantment finished.

"Done!" I called out, and Tira'nore came over.

"Thank you Mistress Dorah." She said as she took the amulet, and then checked it over quickly, before heading to the front of the shop. The first time I'd done enchantment work for the shop she hadn't been sold on it, but after my work was approved over and over, she eventually realized I was competent, and became quite happy. I'd been stupid. I'd already learned that people would pay me to do work that would improve my skills at the Foundry, I just hadn't bothered to apply it to the shop I lived in.

If Papa was busy, or the Enchantment was simple enough, I started to do it, and Tira'nore never hesitated to get me to do just that, after I explained rather bluntly, I liked doing the work, and I would be upset if she didn't tell me there was work to be done. Honestly, Enchanting was one of the shop's most common tasks, so I didn't mind. It certainly had some positive effects. [Enchanting Lv. 35 137/350] [Expert] -[Apprentice Enchanting: Reduce cost of Enchanting] -[Journeyman Enchanting: Minor improvement in enchantment power] -[Expert Enchanting: Use more reagents for an improved effect] The jump to Expert had been invaluable, I could overload an enchantment to get a bit more out of it, which considering how easy it was to get some of the Reagents was a fairly good deal.

It wasn't the prettiest thing at first, at least until I had figured out how to perfectly align the dust with Banish Dust to get what I wanted. Even Papa had complimented me when I'd shown him a completed project fully powered up and yet still clean and stylish. I'd had to show Papa the spell and then help him learn it, which hadn't taken very long. It was a fun experience.

I got up and stretched, I'd already finished working with El'Tela, trying to finish Mastery on Arcane Mind, was turning out to be a pain, but the spell work was still useful. Mostly I'd worked on Light spells, like Heal, or Power Word: Fortitude, but to make her happy, I worked on Mirror Image as well, which had been fairly easy. The spell hadn't been too draining as I'd worked to improve it, only when I hit the Apprentice Mastery and I'd gotten a second Mirror Image at the same time had the cost increased.

Of course as an Arcane Spell, it meant I had a project for Spell Refining, and El'Tela was using that to constantly get me to work on improving it. Honestly the spell was surprisingly complex once I started really digging into it, I think it was probably in some ways as complicated as Spell Steal, which was a bit shocking. Either way, it was a fun spell to work on that didn't run into the same issues as the Light Spells. It gave me a break from trying to beat my head against a brick wall.

I walked out the front of the shop, pretending not to notice Tira'nore selling the necklace I'd just enchanted to a noble lady who was fawning over it. The lady obviously had no idea how enchantment worked. My work was passable, good even, but nothing compared to Papa's refined enchantments. At least my work looked pretty and not a clumpy mess like we had been selling. I took the road and headed towards the Foundry.

As I walked, I stopped at a cafe I had discovered that sold the most amazing cheesy pastries that were just full of steamy yummy goodness. Buying a few I headed off, taking one out of the bag at a time and chowing down as I moved through the city the differences started piling up. The streets were more crowded than ever before, the blue tilework along the sidewalks were full of people doing business or working. The cafes and restaurants were more and more full. And there were more people hurrying around doing work.

People that had just arrived from outside the city, now forced to find jobs and live within it. The pressure was increasing. As I walked I heard conversations, nobles haughtily complaining about the increased crowds, and the newer people, often half desperate complaining about how they were being treated. There were starting to form bread lines of all things. Of course what you got wasn't bread, but conjured food.

A mage sitting in little buildings on certain corners conjuring food for those coming through that hadn't gotten a job yet. I hadn't risked checking it out myself, I had money and could make my own of course, but the looks of the people in the line told me all I needed to know. Those Muffins were probably terrible. But they would keep you alive. As I left the noble areas, and hit the cheaper homes. The locations of industry near the foundry the changes grew even more noticeable.

People living on the street in tents dotted some of the alleyways, and as long as they didn't cause trouble the Guards thankfully seemed to allow it. Between the Elf Gates, was vast stretches of land, and while the High Elf Population was never the most booming, it was still millenia of peaceful growth that was now all starting to compress into the one city. And yet, other than the complaining nobles, or slowly dwindling jobs, people seemed to put up with it better than I expected. Things still remained clean.

Food was still plentiful, and I hadn't really noticed any crime. Then again, I hadn't gone looking. Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit. I very purposefully hadn't gone into the corners of the city where I could find crime. No point purposefully putting myself in that sort of position after all. Crossing the city came naturally to me by now. I knew the path I needed to walk like the back of my hand, where I needed to cross the streets to avoid crowds or issues.

The Foundry hadn't changed much since I first found it, but it had gotten busier. Each of the Forges was now always active, and usually even the one working had an assistant to speed things along even more. I headed to the back, the moment I entered a grunt from Master Illianar was my greeting.

"Take over that." He pointed, and I moved to do so before hesitating.

"You sure?"

"Said it didn't I? You can handle it." He grunted as he kept working on some fairly good looking armor, so I looked at the blade he'd been working on yesterday. It was nearly finished, but I could definitely take care of that. I grabbed an apron, and got to work. Heating the metal, I got to banging. Strength Surge powering each blow a little more than I could do without. The sound was soothing, hammering the metal once It was orange colored. I let my frustration flow into the metal. Mama was okay.

She had sent a letter not long after we got the news that the Gate fell. It had been a massive relief, and yet, it left me more frustrated than not. The war was going on, and people were dying, and here I was, doing nothing. I should be fighting, I should be out there helping to protect people! Yet I knew that was stupid. I wasn't ready for War. This was my grace time, the chance to prepare and while I was doing that, the frustration was mounting. It was too slow.

Thinking that of course was the most audacious thing ever probably and I'd talk to Elune tonight about how stupid it made me sound, and yet. It was how I felt. Spell grinding took time, once the spells cost more than a small percentage of the Mana I had. Even with Evocation, even with Blessing of Wisdom, even with drinking water, it still took time between casts. If I could even cast it. Elune knows that Holy Light has been stuck for a while now.

"Are you smithing, or wasting time? Get out if you are playing." Master Illianar snapped at me.

"I am smithing." I retorted instantly shalking my head and focusing on the sword I was working on. A real sword. I'd been hoping to make real stuff for years, and yet here I am complaining while doing it, instead of enjoying it! It was no special blade. Good steel, and likely it might even develop some magic. A green weapon if I had to compare it to the game. But it would be a fine sword to help protect some soldier against the Trolls.

I hammered it harder, my timing increasing as I focused and started shaping the steel. —-- It was late, the Moon was heavy overhead, and I was up on the roof, surrounded by flowers and rocks in glyphs, but I was on the bench laying down as I stared up into the sky. Elune was heavy tonight, and nearly directly overhead. The Blue Child was nearly hiding entirely behind her, just the barest hint of it showing up behind Elune's white light.

"I've wanted to be a Paladin since forever." I whispered as I talked to the sky.

"There isn't even such a thing really, but it matters to me… It's easy to say you want to do good in the world, or be amazing and awesome. Yet so many say that sort of thing half heartedly. They forget that being good means even in the hard times, you know?" The moon shone on me still, and yet, all I could do was keep thinking about my choices. I could turn away from worrying about the War, just go relax and live knowing that eventually things would turn out okay, but…

When I'd made the decision to be a Paladin, I had thought at the time…

"It's easy to say, you know? But I don't want to be that sort of person. The type that says they'll do good, but fall short because it's hard, or because they're selfish… It's hard to be selfless." I held up a hand interposing my hand around Elune like I was holding the moon in my hand.

"One day I'll be strong, and so… What kind of person will I be with that strength?" I could be anything. With enough strength, there was little that I couldn't do, both for positive or negative things. But… I wanted to be the kind of person that left the world better than when I found it. I'd died once, in this, my second life I had a different perspective than my first. Selfishness had never satisfied. If I succeeded I would be the first Paladin of Azeroth. The first to represent the concept.

I could make it something remembered forever in history, or something forgotten. I wanted to make it something more. The humans would eventually come up with a few different traits representing what a Paladin was. Justice. Uther's trait, the first Paladin. It was a good concept. Being Just in an unjust world. I could respect it. Retribution. I liked that a lot too, but not in the proper way. Vengeance was something I think I had a bit too much of a pull towards. Compassion. I liked Compassion.

It was important, perhaps integral. You might be able to save someone physically without it, but could you ever inspire them to save someone themselves without it? Was a Paladin a Paladin without compassion, or were they just a Knight? Holiness? Nah. I liked Elune, and hoped she was happy with what I was doing, and going to do, but saving someone wasn't a divine mandate. It was just the right thing to do. And that was it. Saving someone. Saving everyone. That was my core desire.

I didn't care about bringing justice to the Trolls over anything else. I wasn't out to bring retribution for their attacks. I wasn't feeling just compassion for those harmed, it was different than that. I didn't fight just because of my belief. I liked Elune, and hoped she liked what I was doing, but it wasn't the same.

"Protection. That's the sort of Paladin I want to be. The one that protects. So I'll try to be the best I can. Not just for myself, but to inspire others." I closed my eyes bringing my fist down to rest on my chest. To protect was a difficult task. Not something easy, and yet… It felt right. I still wanted to travel the world, and I would. I'd always intended on exploring, finding the secrets of Azeroth and destroying evil if I found them in those hidden spaces. That was what a Paladin did.

I'd make the places of Azeroth safe, and just thinking that already reminded me of half a dozen locations. Duskwood was cursed. The whole thing with Blackrock, and the Fire Elemental. The Troggs that constantly hurt Dwarves and Gnomes. Desolace, and the stupid Evil Earth Elemental that devoured all life in the entire area. Silithus and the bugs! The Naga… That's right. There were plenty of things to face on Azeroth alone. Not even considering the orcs, and if they would even show up.

The Legion, the Old Gods, and just the petty evil of people.

"That's right." I said as I sat up and stretched, groaning a bit as I felt my muscles flex before relaxing. I looked up at the moon once more. Bathed in the Light of Elune I nodded.

"Thanks for the talk. I really needed a reminder… There is no time for feeling helpless, there is no time to feel crushed, or hopeless… If I want hope, I'll forge it with my own hands. One person at a time. Elune… Hopefully I'm doing the right thing… But I can just keep improving and try to be the person that does the right thing unconsciously." I turned and headed inside, my prayers to Elune done for the night. I would sleep and prepare for another busy day.

—-- I stopped looking at the paper that was hung from the notice board in the Hall of Healing. It was a recruitment poster. I'd heard the criers, I'd seen the shift as more and more a culture of standing up to fight was growing among the elves, even as we seemed to flinch from fully mobilizing. There hadn't been a draft or the like yet for example. Which was for the best. Either way, seeing a poster even here was a definite shift.

"Join the Army, as a Healer. Free training, serve beside the King." I whispered looking at the poster.

"A bit much right?" I looked up and nodded, the healer was one I knew, but I had never gotten his name. One of the students I'd taught Blessing of Wisdom to.

"But we figured it was a good idea, the more healers we can get on board, the less casualties there will be."

"Yeah… I wish I could help."

"Well, you're a bit young to go out with the army, but you are helping." He said, gently.

"You coming in to heal every few days helps all of us, we're stretched thin from sending our healers to the Gates to help keep everyone going. Don't feel bad you aren't out there on the front. You are helping." I didn't disagree, or agree. Just looking at the poster for a moment before shaking my head. Just behind us there was a noise, as the doors were pushed open.

"Emergency!" A voice cried out, and I turned. Blood. A lot of blood. Someone was being carried, and they were leaking. A lot. The healer beside me moved before I even finished registering it.

"Put him down." He ordered, as his hands started glowing and dropping healing spells. I joined him only a moment later, Holy Light washing over the man that had been carried in, but… There was no movement, even as the Light washed over the man. His friend? Brother? Family? Sat over him, a terrified look on his face, his chest heaving. He'd no doubt carried his brother here from a good distance away.

"I'm sorry." The Healer beside me whispered, and the man looked confused.

"Wh-what do you mean I'm sorry? Olinvero was just talking! He was talking! He's still alive!"

"No longer, I'm afraid." The healer offered as kindly as the words could be. I looked over the man, and noticed what happened. Stab wounds, and one that nicked an artery. He'd bled out. His life had left him while being carried, and he was truly dead… I grabbed a Mana gem from my pocket and crushed it, restoring all my Mana. I closed my fists together like I was praying, and focused every part of myself. Elune. This man is dying. He is gone, but not yet. Please… Please! Help me.

I started casting, bringing up the Light, gathering it into my hands, as I honed the spell. I could do this. I would do this. I had to do this! The Light flowed through me, through the paths that I had only gotten to work once. Every time since that I'd tried the spell had simply fizzled, but I couldn't allow that! A man was dying! Right here! The Light reached a crescendo of what I was capable of, and… The spell flowed away, my grip on it failing.

"No!" I grunted, exhausted, my Mana drained.

"Alah'Dorah, it's okay." Meniel said, she practically appeared next to me, resting a hand on my shoulder, but I just shrugged her hand off. No.

"Evocation." I said, my hands brought up to the position needed and I crackled with power. Mana flowed into me, more and more, until once more I was full to the brim. I took a breath, deep breaths. Elune, please! I could save this man, I could! I will! Don't let him die!" I knew I could do this. Believe it Dorah! Just believe and do! There is no try! The spell was cast again.

Converting Mana into Light, as much as I could, gathering up the power needed more and more, I forced every drop of Mana in me to shift to the Light.

"Ressurection." I whispered casting, it as if it was working, as if everything was fine. The Light crescendo'ed and then nothing. It faded, never reaching high enough. Strong enough. I crumpled, out of Mana, and my insides clenching without Mana.

"Hey easy, easy." Meniel was there, holding me and lifting me up and water was pushed to my mouth. I drank, and shuddered, feeling the water flow into me, cool flowing over my insides as a bit of Mana was restored slowly. Glancing over, I slumped. The man was still dead. I'd failed. Unable to overcome the challenge. My failure meant someone died. Just like in the village back on the road. I'd been unable to convince that stupid Noble then, I'd been unable to get anyone moving fast enough, and so they had died.

A warm hand pressed to my cheek, and I looked up to see Meniel wiping at my cheeks, her hand was warm on my cheek, and I realized I was crying.

"Come along Dorah. Let's find a more comfortable place to sit and talk. Okay?" She whispered comfortingly, and I nodded, pulled up as I noticed the other Healers were helping move the body, putting a sheet over it and comforting the crying man who had carried him here. I followed listless as I realized what it meant. I'd failed.