Chương 81: Floor 5 Rematch

On the counter sat three boxes. One was concentration potions; one with agility potions; and the last was filled with reaction speed potions. Everything was ready. I was fully prepared physically to enter the tower and have a rematch with the fifth floor. As for if I'm prepared mentally? I'm not too sure about that. Taking a deep breath, I stared at the boxes in silence. I didn't have my usual smile, rather, you could say I was expressionless.

Several emotions were filling my body: Relief, courage, confidence, anxiety, and fear. I'm relieved because I'm prepared. At any point I can enter the tower and challenge that damned floor again. There's nothing more that needs to be prepared; All I have to do is enter the tower, find the materials and use free alchemy to make that poison. I feel courageous because I'll finally rid myself of those nightmares. No longer would I have to bother and force Luna to stay with me.

After I clear this floor, she could finally start sleeping at her own house again. I have confidence because this is exactly why I trained. This is what I've spent all those months training my mana for. It's what I spent all that time and money on materials for. I practiced until my point balance reached low five digits, I stayed up until late midnight getting better at free alchemy. Everything is mine for the taking, this floor is mine to clear. But, I feel anxiety. What if I can't clear this floor?

What if everything I did was useless? What if I clear this floor and I still have nightmares? And… What happens if I die in there? I'm scared. I'll be the first to admit it. If I can't brew the potion in time and can't forfeit the floor in time, I'll die. What if I freeze up when I see the hobgoblin? If I die, what comes next? Luna cries and everything I've done is worthless? My parents find my apartment empty, never knowing what happened to me? The alchemy misters never see my name in the gallery again?

BinLover fades into nothing? I'm scared. What if the forfeit option doesn't work? What if I successfully brew the potion but fail to poison the hobgoblin? My heart rate started to rise, I could feel the thumping pounding in my chest. Do I… Really need to clear the floor? I'm having second-thoughts. I'm an alchemist, there's no need to risk my life like this. I can brew and drink potions to stop myself from dreaming at night; I can live comfortably by selling potions for the rest of my life.

I can join or create a party. No one will be disappointed in me for not solo clearing the fifth floor. No one else expects anything from me. No one else thinks that a production class has any business solo clearing the fifth floor. All of that would be true if it wasn't for one little lie. I care. If I run away, I'd be disappointed in myself forever; I want to dream every night; Sure, I can sell potions comfortably for the rest of my life, but, one day, I'll face a wall.

A wall that I can't climb or destroy because I ran away back then. I can't run away. I won't run away. But… I really want to. I want someone to tell me to stop and live safely. And I want someone to tell me that I need to continue, that I need to pull myself together and just do it. Why… Why are my thoughts so contradictory? My body was trembling, my hands wouldn't stop shaking. Maybe I should've made a fear reduction potion, haha…

"Stella…" A soft and solemn voice came from behind me as arms wrapped around my trembling body.

"Luna…" I replied instinctively, my voice a mumble. This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. Tell me. Tell me that it's okay to run away. But also tell me that I need to step up and face my fear head on.

"I'm here…" Luna's softly said, "I'm here no matter what so, do what you think is right." That…That doesn't help, you fool…Just…Just tell me if I should run away or charge forward.

"Whatever choice you make, just know that I'll always be here." …That…That doesn't help decide… Though I thought that, her words had struck my heart strings. Ugh…Fine…Fine, I get it… Taking a deep breath, I turned to look at the girl hugging me from behind.

"I'm…I'm gonna do it, alright?" I let out, forcing a smile.

"Okay…" Luna's embrace tightened a little harder, "If that's your choice…I'll be here."

"Mm." I nodded, returning the hug, my heartbeat slowly steadying. My usual thoughts were completely gone today; They were pushed down and what replaced them were my current emotions, hopes, and fears. I was already dressed in my tower climbing outfit minus the items. Since I couldn't bring anything classified as an item inside, I had to bring in stuff created by regular people.

"I'm going do this." I repeated, it was probably meant more for myself than it was for Luna. Luna nodded and we finally separated. I grabbed the gear I had bought specifically for this floor—all bought at regular stores or ordered custom from regular people—and equipped it. A dagger in it's sheath sat on the right side of my hip. This was made by a blacksmith who hadn't awakened. On my left side tied to my belt was a small pouch that was probably made in some sort of factory.

In it sat a small glass bottle filled with water. Nothing I wore had a description or was classified as an item by the tower.

"I'm…I'm gonna use the bathroom first." I said, quickly heading to the bathroom. Inside, I didn't actually use the toilet. Instead, I turned on the sink and washed my face before looking at myself in the mirror.

"…I can do this." I mumbled. After freshening up, I grabbed my phone and sent a text. [Me: Love you.] I didn't know when I'd get a reply, I didn't wait for one either. Turning off my phone, I opened the bathroom door and saw Luna waiting outside.

"Are you ready?" Luna asked.

"Mm." I nodded, heading to the supplies. I uncapped each bottle, drinking all three potions I prepared. The sweet, savory strawberry taste danced on my tongue before going down my throat. [You feel a little more focused.] [Your perception increases.] [You feel a little faster.]"Are you going?" Luna asked.

"Mm." I nodded and hugged her. She hugged me back.

"Good luck." [Would you like to enter the tower?] [Y/N] [Current Floor: 5] I swallowed air while staring at the screen in front of me. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. When I opened them again, I clicked a button.

'Yes'. [Entering Floor 5] [We wish you luck.] The last thing I saw was Luna's worried expression before everything changed. From the kitchen of my apartment to the ever-so-familiar plains. The light breeze brushed against my skin, my hair flowing with the wind. Above, the light blue sky had white clouds dotted around it. A shining yellow sun looked down upon me, the vibrant green grass glistening slightly.

A few rocks and boulders were scattered across the grass; Some reached for the sky, others stayed low to the ground. The familiar Rocky sat just a few dozen meters away. Behind, the lush forest lay, stretching on for miles. As I took in the scenery, screens appeared before me. [Modifier Floor: Itemless] [Itemless: Items are forbidden from being brought onto this floor.] [Floor 5 Objective: Eliminate the hobgoblin.] [0/1] [Hobgoblin spawning in 4: 59] My heart started to beat faster, it pounded against my chest like a drum. Breathing became harder, sharp breaths were heavily escaping my mouth. My body felt weak, everything started to shake. The strength in my knees felt foreign. My mind went blank, everything became light and was about to start spinning. I staggered and my knees gave out.

"F-F-Forfeit." [Forfeiting attempt.] In an instant I was back in my apartment; The cold AC hit my skin.

"Stella!" Luna immediately rushed over as I fell to the ground, sitting in a W position.

"A-ah…" I let out. My mind slowly started to work again. I…ran immediately…Ah… I lowered my head, covering my face with my palms. I don't know why…As soon as I entered the floor, my mind had went blank and fear overtook me. Is this…Is this useless? Is everything I'm trying just going to fail because I'm a coward?

"Stella." A warm hand pressed against my shoulder. After that, warm arms embraced me as that hand stroked my back.

"Luna…" I let out, my eyes starting to feel a little wet. Before I knew it, droplets hit the floor, "Am I…Am I just a useless coward?"

"Stella." Luna said, separating. She pushed my hunched shoulders to get me to look directly at her face. It was blurry, I couldn't see her clearly. I heard her swallow air and suck in a deep breath through her nose before she continued to speak,"Stella…Are you going to run away?"

"I…" As I tried to speak, Luna spoke over me,"Are you going to give up?" I felt choked up.

"The… The Stella I know wouldn't give up. She may falter, she may retreat, she may get scared, she may be a mischievous gremlin who likes to troll and tease, but… She would never give up. She'd bite her lip and try again, over and over again until she succeeds as if it's going to kill her if she doesn't. That's… That's the Stella I know." I stared at the blurry figure in front of me. Her words echoed in my mind, replaying themselves repeatedly. Never give up… Retry over and over again… The Stella she knows… Right…

Yeah… I can't… I can't show her such a pathetic Stella, can I…?

"Hehe," I wiped away my tears and smiled, my pearlescent teeth showing, "You just wanted to call me a gremlin, didn't you?"

"Did I…Did I say anything wrong?" Luna replied with a smile.

"Hmph, I'm not a gremlin." I replied, hugging the girl in front of me tightly, taking a deep breath, I said with a low voice, "…Thank you, Luna."

"Mm…" Luna hugged back, "Then are you…?"

"I'm not stopping until I clear this damned floor. It's about time to see just which one of us wins; And, here's a little secret. I can lose as much as it takes—after all, I only need to win once. If it loses once than it'll be forever below me."

"Pfft," Luna chuckled, "How petty of you. It can kick your butt a million times, but as long as you win once, you're on top?"

"That's right." I replied shamelessly, "In the end, the victor decides history. Who knows, maybe I'll just brag that I cleared it on the first try online."

"Pfft! Now that's just downright shameless!"

"Hehe, if you keep it a secret and I keep it a secret, then who would know?"

"Alright, fine. When you clear this floor, I'll keep my mouth shut, no matter how many lies you tell."

"That's a promise." I smiled. She smiled back. [You have forfeited this floor. You cannot reattempt to clear the floor for 57: 46]"An hour until I can challenge the floor again though…Mm…Looks like I'm in for a long battle." I said.

"I'll be right behind you for all of it." Luna said.

"How about you stand next to me instead?"

"O-oh…Y-yeah, got it." I smiled. Taking a deep breath, I cleared my mind. Alright, one more hour and then it's round two, baby!