Chương 1: Start Reading

The music was so loud that even from the bathroom, Jonny could feel the bass vibrating in his bones as he vomited into the toilet. He had drunk a little too much. A lot too much. He technically wasn't supposed to be drinking at all, since he had a fight in a week, but he was never one to say "no" to a good party. His opponent wasn't worth worrying about anyway, so even if he was a little off, it wouldn't be a big deal. His stomach heaved, and he launched another round into the swirling brown bowl.

A moment later, he heard the bathroom door open, and the sound of at least three sets of footsteps entering.

"You in there, Champ?" called a voice.

"One shecond," Jonny responded. He hastily wiped his mouth on some toilet paper, flushed, and staggered out. He was greeted by the sight of three men in suits with their jackets and the tops of their shirts unbuttoned. All three were big—Samoan, maybe—and all three were standing in between Jonny and the door.

"What'sh up?" asked Jonny, trying to appear less drunk than he was.

"Want shome autographs?"

"Actually, we was hopin' we could give you some autographs," said the one in the middle.

"Are you famoush?" asked Jonny, confused.

"He means we're gonna beat you up, dumbass," said the one on the right. All three chuckled. Jonny stared blankly for a few seconds before he finally fully understood what was happening." You're gonna beat me up?" he asked, staggering forward a step.

"Haven't you heard? I'm the shtrongest man in the world!"

"Heheh," said the one in the middle.

"That's why we's here. You said you'd take on anyone, anytime, anywhere. Well, here we are."

"Come at me, you fat fucks," said Jonny. Despite what he said, it was, in fact, Jonny that came at them. He took a lurching step forward, putting his full weight into an overhead right aimed at the middle goon. The middle goon looked mildly surprised, but not enough that Jonny's drunken attack could make contact. At the same time, the two on the sides closed in, making to grab Jonny's arms.

However, they missed, because Jonny continued his forward progress carrying the momentum from his off-balance punch into an off-balance takedown attempt. The goon was heavier than Jonny thought he would be, but Jonny wasn't called the strongest man in the world for nothing, and no amount of alcohol could completely eliminate his skill. He lifted the goon into the air, then twisted his body to slam him into the ground. His opponent's head hit the floor with a crack, and his eyes rolled back into his head.

"Aw, fuck," he said. Even in his drunken state, he knew that wasn't good. He didn't have time to think about how not good it was though, because at that moment, he felt a sharp pain in his back. When he turned to see what it was, he found himself falling to the side as the pain got worse. When he hit the ground, he saw one of the other goons standing over him with a bloody knife in his hand and a panicked look on his face.

"What the fuck, man?!" shouted the other.

"We weren't supposed to kill 'im."

"You saw what he did to Kami!" said the knife-wielder.

"I ain't fuckin' wit' dat."

"Yeah?! Well now you're fuckin' wit' twenty to life, dumbass!"

"Chill, man, he ain't dead yet!"

"You fuckin' stabbed him!" Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"We gotta get Tony in here! He's a doctor! He can fix it."

"You'd better hope so. Drop the knife and go!" Jonny felt a pair of warm hands on his back, trying to staunch the flow, but he barely registered it. His body was getting cold, and between the alcohol and the blood loss, he was having trouble even figuring out what had happened. His mind was never able to come to an answer before his mind went unconscious. He dreamt he was flying. He went up, high into the sky until the city lights were no more than specks, then even further until the cities themselves were specks.

Soon, even the Earth was a speck, and Jonny was rocketing through the cosmos. This is trippy as hell. He passed by stars and planets and asteroid belts and more, and all the while, he couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. He could vaguely recall meeting the three goons in the bathroom, but everything after that was fuzzy. Damn, I shouldn't'a drank so much.

After a few more minutes of travel, Jonny noticed that his speed seemed to be decreasing, and soon, Earth appeared back in front of him, rapidly growing larger. He pierced through a layer of clouds and kept going, heading straight for the orange-tiled roof of some fancy-looking building he didn't recognize. He braced for impact, but it never came. Instead, he found himself gasping for air, his lungs burning. He breathed in as far as he could, and then exhaled with an adrenaline-fueled scream.

Finally able to breathe and think again, he noticed he was being held by someone, and unable to move. Did I get kidnapped?

"Let go'a me, ya stupid fuckwits!" he shouted. Or at least, that's what he tried to shout. All that came out was a high pitched wail, as his tongue refused to follow his mind's instructions. At the same time, he tried to rip himself from the grip of whoever was holding him, but all he could manage were a few weak wiggles.

"The hell's goin' on!" he tried to say, but once again, all that emerged were incomprehensible wails.

"He's alive?" he heard a man's voice say from nearby.

"Damn right I'm alive! The hell'd you do to me?!"

"My baby is alive!" Baby? For the first time, Jonny calmed down enough to take a better look at his situation, and found that he could barely see anything at all. The world was colorless and blurry, and the only things he could see clearly were his own body, and the arms and chest of the enormous woman holding him. No, she wasn't enormous. He was just tiny. His limbs were short and stubby and flabby, and his body was round and soft, and not at all like the well-oiled machine he remembered training.

Even worse, there was barely anything down there.

"Aw, hell nah!" he tried to say.

"They turned me into a baby!"

"This is- that's impossible!" he heard the nearby man's voice say.

"He was dead!"

"He's alive!" said the woman.

"I knew he was alive!" Jonny felt himself be lifted into the air, and rotated against his will.

"Put me down, lady!" A moment later, emerging from the blurry gray nothingness all around, a woman's face appeared, smiling widely as tears streamed down her cheeks. Her hair was dark, and her eyes were light, and though she looked quite a few years older than Jonny had been when he died, she had aged well.

"The fuck are you?" he tried to ask.

"My Lady, please be careful!" said the man's voice from nearby.

"I still need to examine him. This is- this is unprecedented! Please pull him back down!"

"Yeah, put me down!" Jonny had never been one to fear heights, but when his vision was so bad he couldn't see more than a foot away, being off the ground at all was harrowing. Unfortunately, the woman either didn't hear the man, or didn't care enough to listen to what he said.

"Hello, Jonathan," she said.

"Welcome to the world! I'm gonna make sure you're the happiest boy in the world."

"My Lady, please put him down," said the man.

"You need to hold him more gently. I need to assess his condition." She lowered Jonny down, and a moment later, he was back in his previous position facing upward, and feeling marginally more comfortable. He still was not at all happy about his situation, but he appreciated the bonus stability. For the next few minutes, he forced himself to breathe more slowly and calm down as he assessed his situation. The woman, who he now realized was probably his new mother, was rocking him gently side to side.

All around, the gray blurs shifted and changed, and he could hear the voices of at least 3 other people, including the man from earlier, talking. At one point a hand emerged from the grayness to gently grab his wrist. Jonny tried to flinch away, but his arm only twitched weakly, and he was stuck at the mystery person's mercy until they let go.

"He seems healthy," said the man a moment later.

"Strangely so. I still can't believe it… Regardless, you may now begin feeding." Feeding? Jonny glanced to his left to see the woman pulling the neck of her gown down. Aw, hell nah.