Chương 12: A Pretty Terrible Apology

When Jonny woke up again, his whole body hurt. Not just his legs where he had been injured, but his upper body as well. If he thought he had been sore after the first mana infusion mishap, he was sore ly mistaken. Back then, he could still kind of move. Now, even the slightest twitch of his muscles hurt. Even just breathing set his core on fire. One of the nuns—he couldn't see which one—was apparently watching over him, and the moment she noticed him awake, she began fussing over him, asking how he was feeling.

Jonny could only respond in grunts and single syllable words. Anything more hurt too much. She asked him if there was anything that was especially worrying, and while Jonny felt like his entire body being in pain counted as "especially worrying", aside from that, he didn't notice anything. There was no spot that hurt more than any other spot. He could feel all his extremities. He could follow her finger with his eyes when she held it over his head. With all that confirmed, she proceeded to feed him.

He hadn't realized how hungry he was until he smelled the soup, which made his stomach grumble loudly. In a very slow and tedious process, he downed two entire bowls, then promptly drifted back to sleep. The next time he woke up, the pain was much more manageable. He was able to move around, just a bit, though he had no desire to leave his bed. He could turn his head this time, at least, and when he did, he found Abbess Helen waiting at his bedside.

"Are you awake?" she asked.

"Y–" he started, but his voice cracked because of how dry his mouth was.

"Yes."

"Here," she said, reaching to the small table beside the bed.

"Water." He accepted the glass gratefully, bringing it to his lips and letting the cool liquid flow down his throat. He felt hungry again, but when he looked down, he noticed the bed was clean. After a moment, he decided he would rather not think about what had happened to the soup. It was probably better he didn't know.

"More?" asked Helen, nodding to his empty glass.

"Yes, please." She waved a hand, and a pitcher from the table floated up, refilling his glass before floating back down. Jonny watched in awe, only remembering to try using his inner eye to sense the mana at the very end. What he felt was a thin, but steady stream of mana from Abbess Helen's hand reaching out and wrapping around the pitcher. Man, I wish I could do that. He drained his second glass, then watched in jealousy as she refilled it again.

This time, he did not drink as quickly, only taking a sip before letting it rest against his sore chest.

"That was a very foolish thing you did," said Helen the moment he put the glass down. Ugh, really?

"But you did well," she continued. Okay, maybe she's not so bad.

"You should not have been out there in the first place, but I understand that you were only trying to protect Tommy by fighting the primaboar."

"Primaboar?"

"The beast you killed."

"Oh."

"We've patched the hole in the fence that the two of you used to get out, and we will be checking the rest of the yard, reinforcing the fence as needed to ensure this doesn't happen again. As you now understand, there is a reason we do not let the children into the woods unsupervised. Though there should not have been any primaboars so close. We've requested a hunting party to go out and eradicate the rest of the herd. Rest assured, such a thing will not happen again."

Jonny nodded, unsure what he was supposed to do with this information. It didn't really affect him, since he had never even wanted to go into the woods in the first place. Not that he was against exploration, but after that encounter, he was even more wary than ever of trying to explore the world in a child's body. That primaboar thing was smaller than his old dog, and the only reason he survived was because he had mana. Mana… He looked down at his hands, suddenly realizing why his upper body was in so much pain.

The details of what happened after the battle were fuzzy, but he could remember the fight itself clear as day. He remembered the sensation of the mana empowering him, multiplying his strength far beyond what he should have been capable of. It had felt good, but it was clear he wasn't quite using it right. He doubted these were the intended consequences of using internal mana techniques.

"If you're wondering about your injuries, I've healed the worst of them," said Abbess Helen.

"Your hands and arms were fractured, and your legs were badly cut. There's only so much healing magic a body can handle, though, and your body is still young, and was still overwhelmed from handling your own mana. It will be another three days before you will be fully recovered."

"How long has it been?"

"Four days." One week to fully recover from all of that… Damn, magic is cool.

"Your body may still be weak after you recover, though. You severely overused your muscles and tendons. I've repaired them, but you're going to want to reduce your playing while you recover. I don't want you to reinjure yourself." Damn.

"Also, there's someone who wants to talk to you." This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

"Huh? Who?"

"Tommy, I know you're there." Helen looked over at the door as it opened a crack, and Jonny saw Tommy's eye peering through. After a second or two, it opened the rest of the way, and the other boy shuffled in, nervous and with his head down.

"Tommy had something he wanted to say to you," said Helen.

"He's spent a lot of time here waiting for you to wake up. Tommy?" Tommy shuffled his feet again, fiddling with his fingers.

"Um," he said.

"I– uh– Thank you for, uh, saving me. And sorry for going into the woods. I was being stu– a dummy." He glanced over at Helen, worried she would have caught that he said "stupid" which was apparently a bad word, at least for kids. Helen didn't say anything, and instead turned back to Jonny. As far as apologies went, Tommy's was pretty terrible, but at the same time, Jonny found he couldn't really get mad at the kid.

Sure, he was kind of annoying, and sure, running out into the forest alone like that was extremely dumb, but he had redeemed himself in the end. Without that well-timed rock, Jonny would have been dead. He might have been an annoying idiot, but he was still a good kid. And hell, if I haven't done dumber things…

"It's fine," he said.

"You saved me too with that rock."

"W– well, I didn't really do much," said Tommy, somewhat embarrassed.

"If you didn't throw that rock, I would have died." Tommy stammered a bit more, blushing as he looked at the ground, and Helen smiled at them.

"I'm glad that you two were able to help each other," she said.

"Putting yourself at risk to help out a friend is admirable. But you two are never, ever, ever to go out into the woods alone without supervision ever again."

"Yes, ma'am!" said both boys immediately.

"Good. Now, Tommy, go back outside and play with the others. Jonny won't heal any faster with you here. And I have something else to discuss with him."

"Yes, ma'am," said Tommy. He scurried back toward the door, pausing for a second to smile back at Jonny and give him a small wave before leaving. Jonny found himself smiling slightly as he heard Tommy's footsteps retreating down the hall. Maybe he's not so bad after all.

"Now, Jonny," said Helen, drawing his attention back to her.

"I want to ask you some questions about what happened."

"Okay," said Jonny. Helen studied his face for a moment before continuing. Jonny was a strange child, and she had never quite been able to get a read on him. He never liked playing with the others, and was always doing strange exercises instead. She didn't even know where he had learned how to do those things, but he seemed obsessed with them. She had never worried about him much before, because he was more than capable of socializing, and children being odd was nothing new to her, but now she wasn't so sure.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Sore."

"Not your body. Your mind. You didn't seem to be having nightmares, and you don't seem overly affected by what happened, but trauma can take some time to set in." Jonny thought for a moment, then shrugged.

"Fine, I guess." Helen pursed her lips. He didn't appear to be lying. She had suspected that to be the case. When they found him lying on the ground in the woods, covered in blood and on the verge of bleeding out, he had been smiling. And it wasn't a smile of relief, but rather a triumphant one.

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure."

"When you remember the fight, do you feel… scared?"

"Not really."

"What do you feel?" Jonny shrugged again.

"I dunno. Like I coulda done better. Like I shoulda tried some other things. I think if I just beat the– if I just bashed its leg a bunch, I woulda been able to kill it without getting as hurt." Helen leaned in closer.

"Did you find the fight to be fun?" Jonny narrowed his eyes.

"I'm not gonna go tryin' that again," he said, his voice laced with suspicion.

"I learned my lesson."

"No, that's not what I meant. I know you won't. I trust you, Jonny. I just want to understand. Mental health is just as important as physical health. So, did you find the fight fun?"

"…A little."

"And would you–?" Helen suddenly stopped. What am I doing? she scolded herself.

"Nevermind," she said.

"Apologies. That would have been an inappropriate thing to ask." Jonny tilted his head in confusion.

"I'm glad that you're feeling alright," she said.

"And your body seems to be healing nicely. I'll have Lucy bring you some books to keep you company while you're in here, and I'll be back tonight for another healing session. Rest well." Jonny still looked confused, but she turned away from him, walking out of the room and heading back to her office. The entire way there, she mentally berated herself for what she had been about to ask. Asking a five year old boy if he wanted to learn how to fight? Absurd! She had gotten ahead of herself.

The incident had made it clear that Jonny was a natural-born fighter, but even so, she couldn't very well push him down that path. If that was what he chose, then so be it, but she had to be mindful of her position. Her asking could feel like her pushing him to do it, and even if he did find fighting a little fun, that didn't necessarily mean he wanted to make his whole life about it. Natural-born fighter or not, he was only five. Besides, what kind of career would he be able to have while stuck with Null Syndrome?

Even if he could use donated mana, he would be dependent on the charity of others. No, it was definitely better to let him find his own path. Perhaps he was talented in other ways they had yet to discover. But still… She entered her office, sat down at her desk, and immediately opened one of the drawers, revealing a few old picture frames. She grabbed one and looked at it. It was quite old, captured with photography magic more than fifty years ago.

She barely recognized herself in her old armor, but she smiled as she saw all her old comrades. They were smiling and laughing, with their arms around each-other's shoulders. More than half had died in the war, wounded so badly even Helen's healing magic couldn't save them, but the survivors were truly impressive. I heard she finally retired this year, she thought looking at the armored nun on the far right. I wonder if she'd be available to take in a student…

Of course, Helen wouldn't be asking her to teach him combat. Just some basic internal mana techniques. But just because she wasn't pushing Jonny down the path of a warrior didn't mean she couldn't widen that path a bit in case he chose to walk down it of his own volition. But what if she tries to push him into it? She went back and forth on the issue a few times before finally sighing and pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. I'll at least reach out. She hadn't seen her friend in years.

At the very least, they could perhaps meet for tea and catch up, for old time's sake. And when they did, she would be able to explain the situation more clearly, and see if it would be a good fit.