Chương 2: Laughter

Each portion of my status screen was selectable and would expand information if I lingered on it. [Natalie Francine Daria Harigold, second heir to Duke Matthew Reginald Renault Harigold and Duchess Thamsin Rithika Daria Harigold. Second in line to inherit the duchy of Meadowtam for the Harigold House, thirtieth in line to inherit the kingdom of Hearstwhile for the Freckentop House.] If I stayed there, it would continue to expand and bring up more and more of her genealogy.

Instead I closed it out and moved to the next entry. [Level 0 Sorceress, currently at -10 experience points. No merit-based or quest-driven experience rewards are available until Level 1] And that one baffled me, because how was I supposed to gain levels if I couldn't gain experience points? But this menu would never expand to give me any useful information about that. [Rival: You are marked as a potential competitor or an interaction with competitors to the protagonist. You may interfere with or influence love interests, allies, villains and other rivals.] Now this one had me really concerned. I understood that I'm not the protagonist, that's Nathan. But I should be listed as an ally, not a rival. I'm very much an ally to my brother. I tried to sacrifice my identity to keep him safe from a fickle and spiteful goddess. Still, I'm glad I'm not flagged as a villain. Games like this are rarely kind to villains, or to protagonists.

Also, allies and love interests get it in the neck from these stories too. And as much as I hate to admit it, rivals are in more danger during these stories than anyone else. The story we had been sent to was called Harigold Glitter. It was all about the challenges of a rising heir, trying to find true love, and peace for his kingdom, and advancement for his noble house, and safety from their enemies. Honestly there was kind of a lot going on. Yes, I played it obsessively. Yes, I know this story inside and out.

I did not defy a goddess and try to bury myself in the subconscious just for the sake of a relative stranger- I already knew Nathan pretty thoroughly. Or, who he was going to be. The game actually only picked up when he turned fifteen, it's not like you got a chance to select narrative choices for him as an infant. But now, I was playing as a sister he's not supposed to have, and making narrative choices from infancy. So I've got a strength of zero. Makes sense for an infant.

This game had attributes, used for a variety of different challenges. Charm and wit, academics, deciphering clues, uncovering conspiracies, sword fights, a cliff-diving minigame. You could learn skills or even spells. An attribute of 1 is pretty low for an adult. 4 is the low side of average, 5 is the high side of average. There's not really a "middle of the road" number.

There's not a hard cap of Attribute numbers, but there are diminishing returns to build them up, and the game only has limited opportunities to train. My stamina is 1, which means basically that I've got enough energy to do one useful thing per day. It's one of the most important attributes because everything else requires it. The game does suspend the limitation for plot-generated events, but those are rarely as important as the stuff that you can find with your own initiative.

The plot-generated events are either fairly minor, or deadly dangerous- most of the chances to lose the game early come from plot-generated events. So I can do one thing per day, basically. Sucks being an infant. My intellect is rated as a 6. Higher than average for an adult character in the game. Anything else I could say about this is just going to sound like I'm bragging. The fourth and final attribute is charisma. This is the ability to make social challenges under duress.

It's not really about how likable you are, most of that stuff is predetermined in the game design. Characters have initial attraction or chemistry because they just do, because that's how the game is written. And a lot of other social dynamics are bundled into the skills, things like conversation, negotiation, bravado, and what have you. But at some key points of the game, you need to be able to turn characters either with you or against you, and for that there's Charisma. The four attributes are all important.

Charisma is how likely you are to get a good ending. Strength has a lot to do with how likely you are to survive long enough to get a good ending. Intellect determines how long it takes you to get out of the starting limitations of the game. Stamina determines how many things you can do during a game day. You can't really afford to ignore any of them. My current charisma is a 3, which I'll confess is shockingly high for an infant. Apparently I've got a lot of force of personality for a baby.

There are a few characters I could actually recruit with a charisma no higher than 3. My hit points and mana points both register as NA, which is for the best. I mean: infant, you know? If someone's trying to kill me it doesn't matter how good they are, they're gonna win. And no mana means no casting, for now. But when I had mana of my own, I'd have plenty of casting to do. I was gonna be a sorceress.

And to that point, let me open the next menu option: [Essence Gathered: Nathan Astoniel Renault Harigold (100%), Void (100%), Wind (2%), Water (2%), Cotton (1%), Oak (1%)] These were the essences that I had mastered. This was going to be hugely impactful what kind of spells I can cast and what I can do with magic. Essences take a long time to master, they're one of the hardest aspects of the mage path of the game.

You have to know exactly the right places to attune yourself, each one is a quest-line in and of itself. Doing magic with low essence affinity is dangerous and difficult- getting your essence affinity high is also dangerous and difficult. But, critically, it's a value that ranges from 0% to 99%. There's no such thing as 100% affinity. And there's no "void" essence either. Nor is there an essence listing for individual people. So, my readout here is impossible in a few different ways.

Not the least of which is this next part. [Condition: Untethered Essence (can fully bind Essence 100%, can bind Essence more easily). Because your soul is only loosely tied to your body, you can expose it directly to the magical essence of the world and absorb their properties. You have the makings of a world-class mage, but only if you can keep your magic from destroying you.] That last line, the ominous one? I have no idea what the fuck it means. Crawling is harder than it looks.

It's not just about moving one leg and then the other, then the arms. You have to use stabilizer muscles, counter-pressure, you have to keep other joints from getting involved, you have to relax certain muscles in certain orders but not others... Look, with practice it's a piece of cake but right now I feel like I'm learning how to spin four plates at the same time, while also painting the plates. Rolling over was a lot easier.

I get into position, and I lean one shoulder in, then hunch my hips, pivot my leg, and flop over. Do it again, I'm rolling. Nathan looked at me with great big eyes, and reached for me, making small upset sounds. He likes being close to me. I'm his constant companion, after all. His twin. I rolled back to him, and started showing him how I did it. He was delighted when he got it to work for himself, rolling on the floor. It's a big step! Agency!

Learning to move yourself means that you're not always going to be where someone put you. It means that you can get closer to something if you're curious, or you can change what part of your environment you inhabit. You can choose to look at things from different angles, and expand your horizons. Nathan was delighted to start doing this. Our mother and father were delighted to watch us flop and fumble across the floor like chubby grubs.

Our governess was a stern sort who tutted and said that we should not be encouraged, and that babies should develop at a certain rate. I stared at her and waved bye-bye. She was torn between glaring and laughing at me. She waited until my parents were out of the room, and she stooped to pick me up and then sat down in a rocking chair, making sure my brother could see me from where he was. He gurgled happily. She looked me right in the eyes.

"You look over when you hear your name," she said to me.

"So I know that you understand some of this. And I believe you understand a lot more than you're letting on. You may be a remarkable child. Slated for greatness. It happens sometimes," she said, her eyes held sadness.

"Some children are never too young to bear the marks of heroism." With difficulty, I shook my head. I curled all but one finger on my often-treasonous left hand, and swung a couple muscles of my shoulder, so I was pointing straight at Nathan. The governess followed my hand, and her eyes flicked back and forth as she thought things out.

"Not you," she said to me.

"Him?" I nodded. I've been practicing head movements. The dark-haired governess changed her grip on me to hold me up more directly in front of her, getting eye-to-eye with me.

"If you think that your brother is destined for greatness, then you may well believe that your role is to assist him and support him on his way to great things." I carefully nodded. My neck was getting tired. This conversation might be my one stamina per day. She sighed.

"If you believe this, then you likely have your own reasons. A pity really. In my days, I've seen three very remarkable children before you. Two were boys, the last was a girl who chose to make other people remarkable rather than herself. I feel our world could do with more women and girls choosing to put themselves in front." I laughed a little. In my mind, my thoughts were "Lady, this world still has arranged marriages, dowry ransoms, and we're only about two steps removed from traditions of prima nocte.

I am not going to invent feminism for you here, come back when I can digest solid food." She produced a half-smile.

"Very well. I am Madame Cushnere. You may call me as such when powers of speech are yours. In the meantime, you seem to be ready for your nap, young lady." I wasn't speed-running infancy out of some kind of pride, let me assure you of that. It was for my own good. Being a baby and laying on a blanket is boring. Having your body malfunction is terrible. I want to have some control, and to be able to do things for myself.

I did not teach myself to speak, crawl and walk because I'm an overachiever or because I wanted to cheat ahead and have everyone think I'm a child prodigy. It's because mentally, I'm a grown-ass adult who just lost the ability to walk, speak, hold my continence and do anything for myself. Also, I shrank down real tiny. So I was trying to get those skills back. Not as a precocious toddler. As someone having to improvise their own physical therapy after losing all their faculties. I made remarkable progress.

By six months I was walking some, and had been practicing to speak. Nathan was sitting up, knew his name, and could babble some passable gibberish. I spent hours sitting with him, holding conversations in our way, or teaching him games. I am pretty sure I was helping his development, and he usually wanted to stay near me. Best friends. Six months was about the point that our parents decided it was time for these adorable babies to get out of the nursery from time to time.

Madame Cushnere stepped into the playroom one morning, and quietly said "Natalie, their Graces have considered that this is a wonderful day for a constitutional. I am to get you and your brother prepared." This consisted largely of changing out nappies, wrapping both babies in fresh shirts, and then wrapping them both in thick woolen blankets. Fully swaddled, knitted caps were put over their heads. Nathan was overjoyed, kicking and laughing.

I concentrated on just not getting stuck in a position that would become uncomfortable. When the Duke and Duchess arrived, Madame Cushnere handed us over with a smile. I was handed to my father. I smiled at His Grace, and held his eyes. They were a very dark gold, an intense color that gave him a strong gaze.

"Well, you've certainly gotten big! Nearly the size of your brother now, little princess. Would you like to go for a walk?" I did not nod at him, but I did smile. I was okay with Madame Cushnere having an idea how aware I was, but... well, okay, it's not like I was keeping it secret just to be cagey. But parents want their children to be a little special in a small way, and very normal in all the big ways. I just wanted to be considerate to their feelings. They both loved their babies very much.

When I was hurled at this world like a comet, I refused to take Nathan away from his parents and substitute some creepy outsider. Now, they had Nathan and Natalie. And I didn't want to take Natalie away from them either. Not right now. Maybe in a few years. Certainly before our fifteenth birthday. Before the story starts. The weather was nice for it, early spring now. Everyone had been cooped up through a nasty winter, and they were eager to stretch their legs.

"And, to work on their Harigold tan!" my father added, turning his face to the sun. He was macadamia-brown, and proud of it. He had big broad shoulders and a bouncing stride, boundless energy and a big personality. Duchess Thamsin was cut from similar cloth, though rather a bit less of it. Her hair was medium-brown and her skin was not as deeply colored as his. She was happy in the outdoors, but more for hiking and picnics than for rock-climbing and river-rafting.

They both enjoyed time under the sun, though, and a long walk around the grounds was just the thing after months with no sunlight.

"Ah, little Natalie, you're going to get tired of hearing me brag about our family," Duke Harigold chortled.

"Meadowtam is the breadbasket of Hearstwhile. That's not just about good soil and good weather, that is a matter of expertise and cultivation! We may not have the industrial centers or the population centers, we don't control the moneychangers and merchants, but dammit, we know food!" He clenched a fist as if looking for a table to thump for emphasis.

"Now, good food comes from good farmers, and good farmers come from good schools! No duchy in this land pursues universal literacy to the degree that Meadowtam does, as well as free universities, free lending libraries, and so much more! This was how the Harigold family came to prominence, you know! Before our house rose to control the duchy, Meadowtam was poor farmers scratching at dirt, burning their husks, exhausting the soil. The Meadwhite dynasty was a terrible time for our land.

But Harigold was a man of books! Buying and selling them, but also reading them. His little village started outproducing every other village, and the people made him alderman, then gentleman. When neighboring lands saw that he was feeding his people so well with their own crops, they clamored for his pennant! And when nasty old Meadwhite decided to increase the taxes on Harigold until he could not afford a second shoe, then old man Harigold stayed poor and gave away his books until all around him were rich!

Cadet houses supported his banner, leaving Meadwhite, and the land of Meadowtam chose our ancestor and his kinfolk, elevating us from genteels to nobles, and brushing shoulders with royalty! All books, little Natalie!"

"Your fingers would blister if you ever touched a book yourself," his wife chided him.

"You foggy old hypocrite."

"I'm a duke, I hire people to read books to me," he said stiffly.

"Anyway, ledgers count as books, and I've ledgers enough for anyone!"

"The famous Matthew Harigold school of accounting!" she laughed. The duke leaned down, pushed his face almost entirely into Natalie's. From this close up, his nose was enormous, his cheekbone blotted out the sky.

"My secret to accounting, princess, is to always do the opposite of what I see the capitol's accountants doing. When my aldermen tell me that they need four hundred bushels of seed, I order ten percent more. Capitol accountants would order three hundred bushels and tell the aldermen to make do with less. I give them what they ask, and a little extra for the warehouse, because one time in five an alderman runs up to me to say that there was a miscount or a leak or some spoilage and they need a little more.

And then I give them the bushels I already have, and they think I'm wise beyond measure and generous beyond words, just for assuming that people need more than they ask for. I've made those my words to live by, and Harigold house is the most prosperous under the Hearstwhile throne!" Hmm, I thought to myself. People need more than they ask for. Deep thoughts. The man looks and acts like a boisterous jock, but he's truly thoughtful, insightful, and kind.

"Also," the duke went on, "Everyone sells at bulk discounts anyway. Ten percent more is almost always as good as free."

"Are you poisoning my daughter's mind with your spendthrift lies?" Duchess Thamsin asked with a sharp tone and a humorous lilt.

"She can be your daughter on odd-numbered days," my father said with fake magnanimity.

"Today's an odd-numbered day," she pointed out.

"So it is. Catch!" and he hefted me as if to throw. I gasped, but he cradled me back to his chest, laughing. I could not see the duchess's face, but she sounded angry while she laughed.

"Don't you do that!" she snapped, bubbling with mirth and stern chiding.

"Never threaten to throw a baby while I'm already holding one!"

"Ah, yes, I can see my error, that was not fair," my father laughed, but ruefully.

"It changes the joke. Instead of joking about child endangerment, it makes you decide which child to hold and which to drop. A far crueler joke than I intended." My parents are weird. I laughed aloud. Every so often he would lift me up and turn me so I could see the grounds, or an outbuilding, or a garden. There were a lot of servants in evidence. I could not help feeling kind of bad about that. The whole institution of aristocracy was a sour taste for me.

But most of the time all I could see was his chin and his nose and the sky above him as he walked about and talked to me like I would pester him with questions. I almost did, just for the lols. Later. I can be the precocious daughter later. Let the man enjoy holding a baby without having to worry about me.