Chương 150: Reborn as the Dragon — Chapter 150 - The Idea of Matchmaking

"The number of monsters in our Dragon's Nest forces is getting smaller and smaller. This is a critical problem." The moment Su Nian opened his mouth, he dialed the severity straight to maximum. The monsters, however, were lost. With back-to-back wars lately, fewer monsters was just the natural order of things. Even Bolikri, sharp as he was, wore a puzzled expression. They also had no idea what family planning was. And same-sex romance? Completely beyond them.

"Recently, I've watched all of you grow. You've gotten stronger. More muscle. More power."

"But the sexual orientation of certain monsters has... developed in a problematic direction."

"Specifically: male monsters attracted to other male monsters."

"This deviation goes against the laws of nature..." As Su Nian's speech continued, a few monsters started exchanging glances. The atmosphere in the Dragon's Nest grew charged, loaded, even, with a very particular kind of tension. Among those shifting uncomfortably was the Gnoll who'd spent weeks hauling carrots to the Blaze Rabbit. And there was Banana Wolf, who had brought a freshly washed Little Red to the meeting.

Banana Wolf had wised up this time, it wore gloves while holding Little Red, keeping those lethal toxins safely away from bare skin. Time crawled forward. Su Nian spoke and spoke, running through family planning principles and the reproductive limitations of same-sex pairs with the tireless energy of a university lecturer. He talked until his throat was dry, until the little treasure resting against his back was half-asleep from sheer boredom. Then he looked at the offending monsters.

Not only had they failed to grasp the problem, they were gazing at each other with even more tender affection than before. So stubborn. Fine. Time for the trump card. Su Nian's expression hardened. His voice dropped low, edged with something mournful.

"If our numbers keep shrinking, we won't be able to resist a human invasion. Do you understand what that means?" He let that sit for a beat.

"It means our potatoes will be seized by humans. The fields where we grow them will be trampled under their boots." The charged atmosphere evaporated. The temperature of the entire Dragon's Nest began to plummet. Crimson killing intent erupted toward the sky. Waves of cold fury rolled outward in every direction. Even the Sakura Players and human soldiers stationed near the Experimental Field felt the sudden chill seep through the walls.

"Motono-kun, it's so cold — hold me~" In a pitch-dark room, Orihime-chan's body gave a full shiver as the cold air hit. Her enormous, fan-sized hands drifted around Haruta Motono's neck. But for someone usually so reckless, her touch was lighter than falling snow. She was terrified of accidentally strangling him. The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. Maybe that was love.

"Orihime-chan... I really can't anymore... I have to plant potatoes tomorrow... please, I'm begging you..." Haruta Motono's voice came out barely above a whisper. His face was white as paper. Dark circles ringed both eyes like bruises. Below his HP bar hung a cluster of debuffs: [Kidney Deficiency], [Fatigue], [Night Sweats], and several others.

"I only said I was cold~ It's not like I was trying to start anything..."

"Motono-kun must have been thinking naughty thoughts. That's why his mind went there."

"Well then. As Motono-kun's devoted lover, I suppose I should fulfill Motono-kun's naughty little request~" Orihime-chan's tractor-engine voice rumbled against his ear. Haruta Motono pressed his lips together. The light in his eyes went out. He grabbed the bedsheet with both hands. A tear slid from the corner of his eye. A tear of happiness....

"So." Su Nian surveyed the assembled monsters.

"Do you all understand the importance of family planning now?"

"ROAR, —!" The Dragon's Nest shook.

"Do you understand the drawbacks of same-sex relationships?"

"ROAR, —!"

"Then should we not produce more monsters, launch a great production movement?!"

"ROAR!!!" Eyes blazing red, the monsters bellowed so hard the walls trembled. Something had shifted inside them. Quietly, decisively. In one corner of the Dragon's Nest, the Blaze Rabbit, bright-eyed and smitten as ever, suddenly found himself dropped straight onto the floor. Thud.

"Squeak squeak!" He protested immediately. What he got in reply was a slap across the face. Smack. The Gnoll drew its wolf claw back. Its face was stone-serious. It finally understood. What it needed to protect had never been the Blaze Rabbit in its arms. What it needed to protect were the potatoes in the Experimental Field. Monsters died in battle. Potatoes endured for generations. No more fooling around. The Blaze Rabbit sat where he'd fallen, little legs folded beneath him, enormous red eyes welling up.

He stared at the Gnoll who used to haul carrots to him every single day, the same Gnoll now staring straight through him with cold resolve. His heart shattered like a petal torn loose in a gale. He let out one long, mournful squeak. Then he turned and hopped away, crying as he went, bouncing out of the Dragon's Nest and into the open air. The Gnoll watched him go. One wolf claw rose halfway, then dropped. It looked up at the black dragon hovering above, and its gaze settled into something iron and certain.

"Let him cool off on his own," Su Nian said, offering the Gnoll a brief nod.

"He'll forget with time." He scanned the other pairs. Every trace of that earlier romantic tension had been scrubbed clean. Even Banana Wolf had stopped cradling Little Red against its chest, the little creature was now perched directly on top of Banana Wolf's head. Every monster in the Dragon's Nest had realigned around a single purpose: follow the black dragon boss's orders, and protect the potatoes at all costs.

"Master," Bolikri spoke up from the side, "I think the reason this abnormal situation developed in the first place is that the monsters have nowhere to burn off their excess energy." The Dragon's Nest was severely short on female monsters. These creatures spent their entire days doing nothing but training. As their bodies grew stronger, their energy reserves grew with them. Over time, that energy had to go somewhere. A vicious cycle, built one carrot delivery at a time.

"I know," Su Nian said, frowning.

"But I can't exactly order everyone to run laps around the Dragon's Nest every day to tire themselves out." He rubbed the back of his neck, genuinely stumped. Then the little Anna perched on his shoulder leaned in and kissed his ear. Her breath was warm and sweet against his scales.

"Brother~ There are plenty of monsters in the Silver Moon Mountains~ We could take Bolikri and everyone there and help them find partners~""Find partners?" Su Nian blinked.

"Does this world have a concept like that?"

"Of course it does~ Brother, you say the strangest things sometimes. Like you weren't even born in this world." Anna patted his big dragon head, her expression shifting into something almost concerned, like she was looking at a very lovable idiot. Su Nian curled his claws. Well. She wasn't wrong. He genuinely wasn't a native dragon. Strictly speaking, he was a synthetic one.

"So how would this partner-finding work, exactly?"

"It's simple, actually." Anna gave a bright little smile.

"Whether it's Grey Wolf or Bolikri, they're all in the top tier of monster strength. Same goes for everyone else under your command."

"If you bring them into the Silver Moon Mountains, the male monsters native to those territories won't stand a chance against them."

"For instance, when I went out to catch Caiman Shield Boars once, I came across a whole community of Whirlwind Rabbits." She tilted her head thoughtfully.

"If the Blaze Rabbits under your command showed up there, they'd have no trouble at all finding partners. A Blaze Rabbit built like Bugs Bunny? The Whirlwind Rabbit girls would be lining up." ➤ Next: A Nuclear-Reasonable Matchmaking