Chương 71: Furry Pants Guy

I held the paper so Vasil could see it through the open slit of my satchel.

"Why would anyone draw a map with blood? How did it even get here?"

"Hmm," Vasil whispered from the satchel.

"Maybe it is a trap."

"Or it could lead to a treasure," I pointed out. Kasia frowned.

"Why would they draw a treasure map in blood?" I shrugged.

"Maybe they didn't have a quill or a pencil?"

"Why would they not go after it themselves? Why post it here?" Kasia asked.

"I do not like it," Vasil said.

"Put it back, Hecate. Stick to the cat and the dungeon." I opened the satchel a bit more.

"Do you know where Viswa is?"

"I do…" Vasil replied.

"How do you always know where everything is? You sure you don't have some kind of mapping skill?"

"I spent a lot of time staring at maps." He paused, then sighed.

"A lot of time."

"So you think it's a bad idea?"

"Yes, Hecate, I think it is most likely a bad idea. It would be very risky going there without anything to go on besides a bloodstained map. Even if it isn't a trap per se, it is probably still dangerous." I tapped my chin.

"But you did say that the System rewards taking risks and reckless behavior more." Vasil sighed again.

"That does not mean you should run head first into any danger you find. There is a difference between being a bold adventurer and being suicidal." I looked back at the note. Something as ominous as this had to give some juicy loot, and if not that, some spicy experience. If it was a trap, it wasn't a very good one. Now that I knew it could be a trap, I would be prepared. They wouldn't catch me off guard. I probably wasn't going to die. What kind of idiot would make a trap map drawn in blood?

"I don't know, Vasil," I said.

"It's looking pretty tempting to me, and I need the levels. Especially now that Kasia is with us. To protect her better."

"To protect her better?" He repeated.

"By putting her in mortal danger?" I scoffed.

"Do you feel like you're in danger, Kasia?" Kasia hesitated.

"…Yes?" I supposed she was in danger, as was I, but the way I saw it, the more danger you were already in, the less extra danger you could be in. Yeah, that makes sense. That will probably put them at ease.

"If we're already in a lot of danger, there's not much more danger we can be in. I say we go check it out."

"That's some truly impressive mental gymnastics," Vasil muttered.

"By that logic, if you are already standing in a fire, adding a bucket of oil doesn't really change your situation."

"Exactly!" I said, pointing a finger at the air.

"See, you're finally starting to get it. Besides, the more experience we get now, the less dangerous everything else becomes later. It's an investment. I'm also doing this to level you up."

"I thought you were doing this to protect Kasia better?"

"Uh, yeah! Obviously! By making you better, I'm making Kasia safer." If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

"By leading her into a trap?" I shook my head.

"It's not a very good trap if we already know it's a trap, is it? We'll be careful. She'll be fine."

"I am not so sure," Vasil said.

"Okay, tell me you don't think we will get some crazy good rewards out of this," I said. He was silent for a couple of seconds, then grumbled a bit.

"What was that?" I asked.

"I believe the rewards will be substantial, especially if it is a trap…" I waved my hand.

"Look, I don't like it either, Vasil, but you need the levels, I need the levels, and if it's a trap we'd be doing the world a favor by untrapping whatever is there. We are heroes, damn it!"

"Heroes?" I didn't answer. Instead, I marched over to the innkeeper and demanded a map. He looked a bit surprised, but for a few coppers, he handed over a reasonably detailed map of Silesia. I took it back to a table in the back, away from people, and spread it out, holding my satchel open so Vasil could get a good look.

"Alright, Vasil. Show me. Where is this Viswa place, and where is the cathedral?"

"Viswa is there," he whispered, and motioned with his eyes. I followed his gaze with my finger until he said "There. And the cathedral is in the middle of the swamp. There""Hmm. It's not as far from civilization as I thought."

"Actually, it is," Vasil countered.

"On the map, it looks close to some villages, but those places have shrunk significantly over the last two decades. Most of them are ghost towns now, or barely hanging on. All because of the Swamp Devil."

"Man," I said, leaning back.

"Is he really that bad?"

"He was."

"Was?" I asked.

"Yeah. You killed him." I blinked.

"I what? I think I'd remember killing a whole devil, Vasil."

"You keep calling him furry pants guy." I slapped my forehead.

"Ohhhhh! I knew that freaky bastard was evil! No one wears pants like that and isn't evil."

"He wasn't wearing any pants," Vasil pointed out flatly. I shivered.

"That's even worse."

"But yes, he was evil," Vasil continued.

"He terrorized this region for over twenty years. He would snatch children from their beds at night and killed anyone who dared enter the swamp."

"Why didn't they just kill him?" I asked, truly confused. If he was such a menace, you'd think they'd send a small army.

"They tried," Vasil said.

"But they couldn't. He was too strong, and he knew the swamp better than anyone." I shrugged, looking back at the map.

"Guess they didn't try hard enough. He was pretty easy to kill." Kasia, who had been listening with wide eyes, leaned forward.

"You killed the Swamp Devil?" I shrugged again.

"I guess so? He tried to jump me back at my old hut. Huh. Maybe that was his hut. I was trying to knock on his door when he burst out screaming and looking all crazy and evil." Then I remembered Phisto had kept trying to convince me the Swamp Devil was innocent. He obviously wasn't, and Phisto probably knew that. That little bastard had been messing with me the whole time! Maybe he was hoping I'd figure it out eventually and call him out on it, start an argument. That way he could farm me for experience twice.

Sneaky, but clever.

"She did," Vasil said.

"With a single bullet." Kasia just stared at me with her mouth open.

"He really didn't have pants?" I asked Vasil, just to be sure.

"Afraid not," he said.

"Disgusting." I shuddered again.

"No wonder he was so angry. I'd be evil too if I had to walk through a swamp with no pants on. Hells, I'd be evil if my legs were as hairy as his." I turned to Kasia and shook my head.

"You wouldn't believe how hairy."

"They say the Swamp Devil was ten feet tall," Kasia muttered. I snorted.

"Not even close. He was average sized, but he definitely stank like he was ten feet tall. Maybe eleven."

"And the mist?" Kasia asked.

"The stories say he could turn into a cloud of mist and choke the life out of you."

"Well. His head certainly turned into mist," I chuckled. Kasia was staring at me with her mouth open again.

"Because I shot him. In the face. Get it?"

"I think she got it," Vasil said. I raised my hands.

"Just saying." I looked back down at the map and chuckled at my clever joke. I couldn't believe that didn't at least get a little snort or a giggle out of them. The people here really had a stunted sense of humor. People barely laughed. Even when I was firing off witty jokes left and right. I thought about my joke again and laughed, harder this time, and looked at Kasia, anticipating that she'd finally get it and laugh too. Instead she shifted uncomfortably, leaned back, and looked confused.

I nodded at her, grinning.

"It's funny because I shot him in the face, and his face turned into mist."

"I do not think she's judging the wordplay, Hecate," Vasil said.

"I think she is trying to process the casual way you recounted how you killed a legendary monster. Most people who encountered him did not survive."

"Well, most people aren't me," I said, leaning back and crossing my arms. I was starting to feel a little defensive. Why was no one laughing at my joke? I'd rate it a solid 8/10. I sighed and tapped the table. One day I'd get a laugh out of them. Today was obviously not that day. I pointed at the map.

"Let's get the cat first, since it's the closest. Then we clear the dungeon, and after that we can walk into the trap. Sound good?"