Chương 10: The Wimpy Weapon

Ch. 10: The Wimpy Weapon Me Yo, how are you? Penelope Hey:)))) OMGGGGG Ur alive! <3 Yay: 3 How r u? Still recovering 😷 Thanks for asking Can I borrow your shield? I need a magic item and the dagger broke 🗡️ Uhh, what? Ya Me So can I borrow it? S"And then she just left me on read!" I said, showing my phone to Lee, "Can you believe that?" I was talking louder to compensate for the noise of traffic whizzing by. We were posted up on Venice boulevard, the hellmouth had opened on the side of a bus stop.

Its hole was rimmed with tiny triangular teeth. Its inside revealed nothing, obstructed by a curtain of pitch darkness. My fellow NPC, Lee, stared at my screen through her black curls. Her thick eyeliner made her eyes more pronounced as they bounced along my phone screen. She had a black sleeveless vest and jangly bracelets on her wrists.

"Uh, yeah," she said, "Yeah, I can believe that, I guess."

"Anyway, did you bring it?"

"Y-yes," She said, "Technically""Technically?" I asked, "Lee, rules won't let me join without one. Tell me you have a magic weapon for me."

"It is… legally, a magic weapon. It's union certified. But, just take a look." She handed it to me. It was a pointy stick the length of my hand. I grabbed it off of her and did some practice jabs in the air.

"Not a lot of range on this bad boy. What is it?"

"I don't know. I found it on some dead ogre. Can I be honest with you? I was nervous about even giving it to you." I opened my system screen. Spiros had taught me about a tab that would be crucial over other players. It was called the 'inspect' tab. I clicked on it with my eyes. I held the wooden object in front of me. A green box surrounded the weapon and a loading sign bid me to wait. Ding! Thank you for holding. The weapon's stats are as follows: Ogre's Toothpick Strength:. 5 Dex:. 5 Speed:.

5 Range: -1 Special attribute: Does 1. 5 multiplier damage to an opponent's gums. Damn, this was useless.

"Thanks, Lee. I'll make sure I get real close to some snake monster's fangs with this."

"Yeah, give it back. I'm not feeling good about this." She reached over but I held it over her head as she tried to get it back, "Ah, ah, ah! Don't try to get out of the guilt you'll feel when I croak." She jumped up but I was too tall.

"At least the other NPCs are fighters. Former military. Martial artists. Medics. Your special skill is that you're broke."

"Better than your special skill of falling for every girl who's mean to you," I taunted. She gripped my arm and pulled, placing her foot and hip in front of me and tossing me over. Lee kept her grip on my hand and pulled at the toothpick as my body writhed on the ground.

"Don't be a prick. I'm trying to keep you alive. You just survived a goddamned massacre. Damn, your grip is strong!" I got up and did something I'd never been able to before. I pulled my hand out of Lee's grip.

"How the hell!!? You been working out?"

"Everyone's always so scared I'm on these raids. But me and the toothpick are making it out alive."

"Toothpick?"

"Yeah, looks like it right? For a big ogre?" I mimed using it as a toothpick. A man in an orange hoodie and green pants stuck his hands up, "Can you calm down? I know you two are having your fun but we're trying to get our heads right for a raid." I stared at the man incredulously. It was enough time for Lee to wrap me in a headlock and twist me around.

"You hear that guy? You better stop having so much fun."

"Ahh!" I screamed, "Yeah, someone tell the monsters to take this raid a little more seriously." She was smiling, enjoying giving me a nougie.

"Okay, that's enough," the man said again, "I'm the lead of this mission and I'm ordering you to stop." Lee and I looked at each other, stopping and focusing on him. Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

"Sorry?" I asked, "What's your name again?" A beat-up honda civic pulled into the strip mall parking lot and parked in front of the tobacco shop. A woman got out. She was wearing leggings, and an athletic top. She was putting her hair in a ponytail as she exited her car.

"Hi! Sorry, I'm late. Due to some recent events, Charlie-level champs and above will accompany alpha raids for the foreseeable future."

"What!?" Said the man in the orange hoodie, "This is not fair!" I whispered to Lee.

"I'm the recent events." She stood in front of the hellmouth at a respectable distance, "A little about me: My name is Kayla. I am a Lucia champ. Nice to meet you all. I am a battle cleric. So, I'll be in the front lines healing you all. I see there's five of us. Raise your hand if you're non-powered." Lee raised her hand and then elbowed me to follow suit.

"Amazing! Our recon has placed this as an alpha. It is a Cave Biome. I hope you all brought the appropriate gear. I know I didn't." There was a polite group laugh, "Sorry, I was called into this as a favor from the union rep. We had to get this rule implemented fast so I was pulled out of the yoga studio for this." Lee whispered in my ear, "You think she's flexible?"

"Never gonna happen, Lee," I whispered back to her. She punched my shoulder.

"Are there any questions?" Kayla asked"Yeah," the man in the orange hoodie raised his hand, "I'm Wesley, I… was supposed to be the lead." He left a pause in there, as if Kayla owed him something. Kayla clocked that she was supposed to respond and eventually said, "Oh, nice to meet you."

"Yeah."

"Do you have a question?"

"I just think it's really unfair that as a bravo, I was assigned to be the leader and that was right was taken from me." Lee leaned in again and said, "This dork didn't ask a question." I turned back and said, "How much you wanna bet this guy's got a podcast?" Kayla was sympathetic and said, "I'm so sorry, Wesley, that it worked out that way. The transition is definitely a little rocky but we did just have an alpha raid where eleven people died and a god went missing.

So as you can imagine, the union is really rattled right now."

"I can imagine it," Wesley said, "It's just… a little unfair, because it was supposed to be my first raid as a leader. And like.. I'm sure you're great and stuff but don't you think there's more to leading than just an alleged strength difference?"

"This guy's a turd," I whispered.

"Yeah," Lee said, "That's Kayla the Slay Queen. She once took down a Charlie core by herself."

"No way! How much coin you think she made?"

"Bro. Even an alpha core is worth like 2 g's."

"I need 2 g's to fix my car. My window's all fucked up and my door needs to be replaced. I'm going to have to take down that core." She chuckled, "Yeah, you and what toothpick?' The turd continued.

"There are other factors that weigh in when it comes to leadership. I feel like since I come from leadership that I should continue that role. Not to say that I couldn't use you. Obviously it would be an honor to preside over a Charlie Champ."

"Right," Kayla said while letting out a breath, "Maybe on the next run. But for today why don't we just stick with the rules."

"Sounds great, Kayla!" I said out loud.

"You lead the way, queen!" Said Lee.

"Maybe I could take the role of the co-captain then," he said sternly. I got tired of this turd so I said, "That sounds good, I'll take on the role as co-captain as well. We'll co-comanage."

"Aren't you an NPC?" He asked.

"Ya."

"So you couldn't really co-manage could you?"

"I think that the alleged strength difference between us is mitigated my my vast leadership experience."

"Yeah, very funny," Said Wesley, "Why don't you leave the champs to deal with this?" Kayla tried to hide her smile as she said, "I love the dialogue but we have to start exploring. I want to mention this, we have not located the core. We don't know what animal it is but look for the giant glowing monster stampeding toward us""I got this one," I said.

"Uh, no." he said, "I've got it."

"Follow my lead, co-co-captain," I said before walking in front of him. He shouldered me and got in front. We were at the mouth of the cave and I flat tired him. He turned and grabbed my shirt.

"What's your problem?" He demanded.

"How about the fact that Kayla's trying to keep us alive and you're getting in her way?"

"I was supposed to be the leader. And I could be a better one if they'd let me. This wasn't supposed to happen."

"Yeah, and the eleven champs from the Macarthur Park incident weren't supposed to die. We adapt." He brandished his weapon. A baton. I brandished mine.

"What is that? A knitting needle?"

"Toothpick."

"Boys!" We turned. Kayla had her hands on her hips and said, "Do you both really expect to go without any way to see?" Wesley let go of me. I turned and said, "I've got some flares in my trunk!" Kayla gestured for me to lead the way. I walked and whispered to Lee, "This guy give anyone else the creeps?"

"What the heck happened to your car?" Kayla asked as I yanked open my stuck trunk.

"Oh, yeah," I said, "Do you need any guard dogs?"

"Guard dogs?"

"I'm looking to rehome them. I'd prefer not to separate."

"Uhh, maybe?"

"I'd love an answer by the end of the day. If it helps, they're nihilists."

"What does that mean?"

"Means they don't believe in anything."

"Okay. I'll think about it."

"I appreciate that, Kayla. Or should I call you Slay Queen?" She gave me an eye-roll that could have powered a small town, "My team came up with that. It's dumb. Kayla works great."

"Defeating a Charlie Core all by yourself. That's… that's deserving of a nickname."

"Just glad I made it out." While Kayla and I talked, Wesley stuck his head in the hellmouth, placing his hands against the bus stop for balance.

"I can't see a thing! But the echoes. Hello!" The 'hello' bounced off the cave.

"Must be in a big part of the cave." Wesley said.

"Maybe keep back from there until we get the gear," said Lee.

"You're friends with that dick, right?" He asked. Lee didn't respond.

"Yeah, dude's toast. Probably going to croak as soon as we breach."

"He's going to be fine," Said Lee.

"Didn't you say his own power was that he was broke?"

"That's a hell of a power. Especially when he's got something worth fighting for."

"How does a guy like that even become an NPC? Some kind of financial aid program. Like a diversity hire, I bet. Hey, did you see that? From the cave. It was glowing."

"Step away from there," said Lee.

"It was glowing coming from the tunnel. Did you see it?"

"I don't care." He stuck his head back into the mouth. He said, "I could swear I saw light. That's gotta be the core. Come take a look." He used his champion's strength to pull her easily.

"Hey!" Lee said, "Watch it! You almost took my arm off." She pulled at his wrist. It took him longer than was comfortable for him to notice but he released her.

"Ahh, nevermind. Maybe I didn't see a glow. Where the hell are those flares?" His attention strayed back to Lee. He and her were completely unaware that the mouth of the tarpit hung off the side of rocky ledge. They were completely unaware that a glowing tendril worked its way down the ledge into the outside. As Kayla and I walked across the street toward the hellmouth, we were also completely unaware that the tendril had completed its mission of stealthily wrapping around Wesley's leg.

When it snared him, Wesley looked down, terrified.

"Hey, Hey!" The tendril pulled, dragging Wesley into the dark, only giving him enough time to grab anything in front of him to try to slow the crawl. Unfortunately, the anything in front of him was Lee.