Chương 56: Contractors and Chaos

Derek I'd seen some weird shit since the Gaia System activated. Hell, I'd been living a weird life for decades before the system activated. Actually, though, being a werewolf was actually just a minor part of my life. It was like having a second job at a club that had a very aggressive dress code and terrible hours.

But standing in front of Abe's partially-burned cabin, surrounded by dead or wounded animals and supernatural creatures I knew little about, I realized I hadn't really known what weird really looked like. The dead bodies were respectfully arranged, but they still made me feel uncomfortable. You might think, 'Hey, you're a werewolf. Aren't you used to such things?' Well, the answer would be 'no.'

"Derek!" Abe spotted me and waddled over. He looked... rough. Exhausted and angry.

"Hey, uhh," I hesitated, unsure how to address him. O Holy Spirit? Great Trash Panda? Or just Abe? I quickly went with what sounded most natural.

"Abe," I said, kneeling so we were at eye level.

"What can I do for you? Repairs I'm assuming." I pulled out my tablet, switching into contractor mode. It was easier than dealing with the emotional stuff that was happening all around me.

"Mind if I do a walk-through?"

"Go ahead. I'd offer you coffee but…" He sort of shrugged as he looked around. Yeah, not the right time for coffee, I agreed silently.

"Rain check." I started circling the structure, making notes.

"So. Walk me through what happened. For the assessment."

"Wild People attacked. Set fire to the cabin. Tried to poison us through the chimney. Smashed some windows. Dented the shutters. The usual home invasion stuff."

"The usual," I repeated dryly.

"Right." I examined the damage more closely. The shutters had held, barely. They were dented, scratched, but intact. Good, I thought. Those things had been a bitch to install. The manufacturer had screwed up the bolt holes. I'd had to redrill every mounting point. Abe was probably glad they had worked, but pissed at how much it was going to cost to repair. Those had been expensive as hell to install as well as being difficult. Even from the ground, I could tell that the roof had some fire damage.

However, the fire-resistant materials I'd used had done their job. It could've been way worse. What bothered me was the poison in the chimney. I was worried that burning wood in the fireplace might reactivate the poison, maybe releasing poisonous gases.

"You know," I said, making notes, "I'm wondering if insurance would cover this. Maybe we can fudge some of the causes." Abe snorted.

"Wild People attacks? I doubt it. They'd just send an adjuster to find some reason to decline my claim."

"Yeah, probably not." I photographed the damaged door frame.

"Though with the way things are going lately, maybe they'll start offering supernatural damage riders.

'Monster' coverage. Could be a thing."

"That's depressing," Abe said glumly. He looked sad, standing there next to his dream home. Hell, I'd be pissed if something happened to my home. He's actually taking it much better than I would, I admitted.

"That's business," I said as I moved to the broken windows. The heat from the fire had caused them to break. Either that or the banging. Either way, they'd need replacing.

"Let's see, broken windows. As for the shutters, they need to be repaired, but they're salvageable. The roof will need patching. As for the solar panels, I hate to say this, but they'll need to be replaced. That'll be expensive."

"I know," Abe seemed depressed at the thought of how much this was going to cost him financially in addition to the emotional damage the attack had already caused. I tried to focus him on the financial side so that he could put some distance between himself and what had just happened.

"The door needs a complete replacement," I said as we walked into the house.

"There seems to be interior smoke damage as well. Figure... two weeks of work? Maybe three." Pierre walked up to us and interrupted.

"So I was thinking," Pierre announced, "when we rebuild, we should add a nursery." Abe's ears flattened.

"A what?" Pierre grinned and said, "I know, you just had one kid, but that was with Mort. I bet Tala wants to have a little baby with you too. She's probably feeling left out." Pierre was clearly enjoying himself.

"Maybe some educational posters. Planetary formation charts. A mobile with proper orbital mechanics. That way the baby can bond with her older sister." Abe just cocked his head and gave Pierre a side-eye, as if considering what type of curse would be the most appropriate. Pierre didn't seem to notice. I did, but I wasn't stupid enough to say anything. Instead, I just gulped and shut my mouth. This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

Pierre pulled out his phone and pulled up what looked like Pinterest boards.

"I'm thinking we paint one wall with the solar system. Get some glow-in-the-dark stars. Maybe install speakers that play 'It's a Small World' on loop for proper ambiance."

"I will end you," Abe said flatly. Then he tried walking away, back outside. However, Pierre didn't take the hint and followed. Not knowing what else to do, I tagged along.

"Just trying to help with the parenting journey." Pierre winked at me.

"Derek, back me up here. Every parent needs a nursery. Right?"

"I'm staying out of this," I said quickly.

"Coward," Pierre said cheerfully.

"Fine. But here, look at these." He then proceeded to show us a number of items he was ordering for the house. Abe watched patiently, much more patiently than I'd expected. Apparently, he was used to Pierre being obnoxious. That patience started to wear thin when Pierre started on his next suggestions.

"You know, if you want to roleplay, I bookmarked these doggie costumes. One's a raccoon and the other's a squirrel. You and Tala, could, you know, play dress up and roleplay." He smirked and raised his eyebrows in a suggestive way. That was Abe's breaking point, because he just growled at Pierre. It was an actual growl. Pierre immediately backed up, holding up his hands as if to defend himself. However, a smile never left his face. As he was walking away, I could tell that he was still bookmarking items.

Idiot, I thought. Definitely has a death wish. Abe made a sound like a dying engine as Pierre walked away. I was trying very hard not to laugh. A small opossum waddled past us, and I watched in fascination as various pieces of debris disappeared into... somewhere. His pouch, maybe? Each item just vanished.

"I can't believe how much she eats," the opossum muttered.

"Divine mana this, planetary formation that. Do you know how much energy a baby planet needs? Ridiculous. Eating me out of house and home. Well, Abe's house and home, but still." That was when the opossum touched one of the broken shutters, after which it immediately disappeared.

"Mort," Abe called out.

"That's not trash. I need that."

"Everything's trash if you think about it," Mort replied, continuing his collection spree.

"Plus Lifna needs it. She's growing. Do you want our daughter to starve?"

"She's made of molten rock!" Abe objected, clearly annoyed. Wisely, I didn't point out that he didn't deny the planet was 'their' baby. Instead, I added "replace items stolen by opossum" to my notes. Movement caught my eye. Three pale figures had drifted closer, watching Abe with expressions of... reverence? Awe? It was hard to tell. They were humans but short and extremely pale with beards. At least I'd learned not to call them dwarves. They hated that. Abe shifted uncomfortably as one of them moved even closer.

"Can I... help you?" Abe asked with forced politeness. The Moon-Eyed person tilted their head.

'We have never met a god before."

"It's nice to meet you," Abe said after a sigh.

"Maybe later we can talk more? I'm kind of busy with the whole 'my house burned down' thing." The Moon-Eyed person bowed slightly and drifted back to their companions, but they kept watching. It was seriously creepy.

"That's unsettling," I observed.

"Tell me about it," Abe sighed. Voices raised nearby caught my attention. I glanced over to Mr. Alder arguing with a woman in druid robes who were walking by. Kathy, if I remembered right.

"We need to hunt them down now," Mr. Alder was saying.

"Before they regroup and attack again."

"And walk into an ambush?" Kathy countered.

"They awakened the Raven Mocker."

"What the hell is a Raven Mocker?" I asked quietly. Abe grimaced.

"You don't want to know." But Kathy's voice carried, and I heard anyway.

"A long time ago, a witch bonded with an evil owl spirit with powerful death magic. According to Cherokee legends, the witch was tricked by Raven and she's hated him ever since."

"Raven tricked her into what?" Alder asked.

"Bonding with the owl spirit in the first place. It corrupted her and drove her mad. Well, more mad. She tried to get revenge on Raven, but he injured her badly in the fight. She's been sleeping ever since, recovering. Mana was too low in the world for her to heal properly."

'Until now," Abe said quietly.

"The Wild People must have woken her up and convinced her to help them. She'll be back. And she'll be angry." I made a new note, "Possible future owl-witch attacks. Stolen reinforced shutters need to be replaced. Additional security measures need to be considered." Mr. Alder and Kathy had walked far enough away that I couldn't hear what they were saying, but Claire walked by, talking quietly into a radio.

"The situation is contained," she was saying.

"Local demon beasts responded to the threat. They drove off the attackers. Even normally passive prey animals turned aggressive once their territory was encroached upon. However, once the threat retreated, they went passive again." There was a pause as someone responded.

"Intelligence level?" Claire's laugh was carefully dismissive.

"Minimal. They're animals. Mutated, yes, but still operating on instinct. The demon beast classification is really overstating their capabilities. As long as we don't try to enter their territory, they shouldn't be threats." Another pause.

"No, I don't recommend intervention. They're territorial but not expansionist. Leave them alone, they'll leave us alone. Classic wildlife management." She listened.

"Yes, I'll continue monitoring. Claire out." She lowered the radio and caught my eye. For just a second, her expression was tired. Then she smiled, waved, and walked off. She was protecting them by lying to her superiors to keep the government from interfering with Abe's congregation. Huh. Good for her. I wonder if she's single.

"Derek?" I turned to find that Tala had snuck up on us while I was distracted. She was looking at me with an expression that could only be described as mischievous.

"Yeah?" I asked suspiciously. I was already getting a headache and the work hadn't even begun yet.

"So," she said, "Abe here said I was hot but he never told me why. Why do you think that is? Do you think he's ashamed of me?" Abe went very still.

"Can we not do this now?"

"I'm just curious what specifically you found attractive." Tala's grin was absolutely evil.

"Was it my tail? My whiskers? The way I can crack walnuts with my…. teeth?"

"Tala," Abe started to say. I was really starting to feel for him. The poor guy. He can't seem to catch a break.

"Derek doesn't mind. Do you, Derek?" She looked at me, one eyebrow cocked, as if daring me to object.

"I'm just here to fix the cabin," I managed.

"See? He's fine with it. So what was it? My eyes? My—""You saved everyone's lives with wet towels," Abe said desperately.

"That was hot, the quick thinking. Can we please talk about literally anything else?"

"Oh, so you love me for my mind, not my body? What about my body don't you like?" I could hear the whining pout in her tone. Her eyes got big and looked like they were ready to start crying any second. Abe looked like he was about to have a panic attack.

"No! I love your body and your big bushy tail! You're beautiful! You're perfect!" Tala's tears vanished instantly, replaced by a satisfied smirk.

"Good answer." Oh. My. Goddess. This is better than any telenovela, I thought. I couldn't wait to see what would happen next.