Chương 104: Just For a Minute

When I woke up I wasn't sure if I felt tired or refreshed. I definitely felt the +7 Strength from Bogumir's head, though. There was a certain lightness to me that was different from having a lot of points in Dexterity. Despite that, I also felt like I'd been trampled by a pack of large animals… or about eight inquisitors. I sat up and looked around, then realized Kasia was sitting next to me. She smiled when I looked at her and I returned the smile. It appeared she'd been awake for a while.

"The slayer awakens," Bogumir said. I sighed.

"It's too early for this, Bogumir. Please, don't try to be funny. Just call me Hecate." He responded with a grunt. Vasil sat by the pond, and when he noticed I was up he turned around and joined us.

"Good morning, Hecate. Did you sleep well?"

"Oh yeah. Slept great. Like a baby… Wait. Babies wake up all the time. Why do people say they slept like a baby then? I slept like someone who sleeps well and doesn't wake up." He slowly nodded.

"No nightmares or anything?"

"Nah," I said, shaking my head.

"I never have nightmares. One of the perks of having a clear conscience." Though there was this weird thing where I thought someone was stroking my hair? But that was probably just a dream. A nice dream, actually. Vasil just kept looking at me like he didn't believe me.

"What?" I asked.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Kasia put her hand on mine.

"Hecate…" I turned to her, wondering if she was feeling sad again or something. Why else would she put her hand on mine? Unlike me, she was pretty emotional. She stared at me with an expression that was something between sadness and concern. Maybe something was bothering her?

"Kasia?" She held my hand in both of hers.

"You don't have to be strong all the time, Hecate."

"What?"

"We know about the nightmares. You don't have to hide them from us."

"I'm not hiding anything," I said, pulling my hand back.

"I told you I slept great. The opposite of how a baby sleeps." I got up and adjusted my gear. Who did she think she was, telling me how I slept? What did she know about being strong? Without me she'd be dead. Without me we'd all be dead. Everyone except…

"Let's go," I said.

"Viswa isn't going to come any closer if we stand around talking about things that didn't happen."

"No," Kasia said.

"No?" She folded her arms.

"I'm not going anywhere until we talk." The nerve of this girl! After everything I'd done for her she had the gall to tell me what to do? There was nothing to discuss. And even if there had been something, we didn't have time for it. I had to get stronger. I needed more power. Better gear.

"Alright, Kasia. You do what you want. I'll go on without you." The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

"No, you won't."

"Yes. I will."

"No, Hecate, you won't. You wouldn't leave me like that. And I won't leave you. Because you care about me and I care about you." I glanced at Vasil. Surely he'd agree that we didn't have any time to waste. Especially discussing a nightmare I didn't even have. Vasil however just stared at me.

"Vasil?" I asked.

"Just listen to her, Hecate," he said. Had they all gone mad? Were they ganging up on me? Why? What had I done? Even if I did have a nightmare—which I didn't—who cares? What was the big deal? Why was everyone looking at me like that? It was starting to get annoying.

"You guys are starting to piss me off," I said.

"What do you want from me?" Kasia frowned and it looked like she was fighting back tears.

"We just want you to be alright. I want to help you, Hecate, but I don't know how. You try to hide it, but I can see you are struggling. I see the nightmares. I see the pain. You keep pushing through. You keep ignoring it, or pretending it isn't there, but pretending doesn't make it go away. You need to slow down. You're unraveling."

"Unraveling," I scoffed.

"Everyone wants to kill me. I don't have time to slow down. I have to be strong. I have to protect you. I have to protect myself. I have to protect everyone. I have to get better. I'm not struggling. I'm not in pain. I'm fine."

"Hecate," she said as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"You're not holding together like you think you are. You're not alright. I can see it. You're breaking."

"I'm fine!" I snapped.

"I don't break!" But even as I said it I realized how fast my heart was beating. Really fast. Way faster than it should be. Which was weird, because I was just standing there. Maybe my body hadn't fully recovered from yesterday's fight yet. I was fine. Always fine. Except my hands were also shaking. Was I sick? Had I been poisoned somehow? Is that what Kasia wanted to tell me? It would explain why my heart felt like it was about to explode and why my hands were shaking. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Like something heavy sat on my chest. I tried to take in more air, but with every breath it got harder. I needed more air. It wasn't enough. Why wasn't it enough? What was wrong with me? Was I dying? I clawed at my tunic, frantically trying to give myself more space to breathe. Nothing worked. My chest hurt, and my fingers tingled. I really had been poisoned and I was going to die. I squinted at the trees, but everything around me was a blur. I heard Kasia's voice echo far away. Was she calling my name?

I tried to hear what she was saying, but I couldn't make it out over the pounding of my heart. It was so loud it hurt my ears. I gasped for air, but once more I couldn't get enough. Something was seriously wrong. Why was everything so heavy? For what felt like an eternity all I could hear was the pounding of my heart as I desperately struggled to breathe. Then warm arms wrapped around me.

"I'm here for you," Kasia whispered as she gently stroked my hair, and with every stroke it became easier to breathe. With every stroke my heartbeat slowed. With every stroke the poison drained from my body. The world started coming back into focus. The trees were no longer blurry. My heart was still beating fast, but it was no longer exploding. I realized we were on the ground and she was holding me. When did that happen? I should pull away. I should stand up and tell her I'm fine. But I didn't. Kasia was crying.

It felt like I should be the one comforting her, but here she was, stroking my hair, while she was the one crying. It almost made me tear up as well, but I didn't. I don't cry. It makes my face look ugly and stupid. I shifted and glanced at Vasil. He was staring at us with a worried look on his face. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't think of anything.

"Just relax for a minute," Kasia said, still stroking my hair. I wanted to say something snarky, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. She didn't deserve that. The fact that the thought had even crossed my mind filled me with shame. Maybe I wasn't fine?

"Am I dying?" I asked.

"No. You're not dying."

"It felt like it."

"I know. Just breathe. You're okay." I closed my eyes for a second and all I could feel was Kasia's warmth and her gentle strokes through my hair. Suddenly I felt so tired. So incredibly tired. Far worse than when I'd woken up. I wasn't okay. I didn't know what the hell just happened but I definitely wasn't okay. But her hand in my hair and her arms around me and her voice saying it made me feel like I could be.

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"For snapping at you. For being... me."

"Don't be," she whispered. She didn't let go. If anything, she held me a little tighter.

"Just stay here. The Church can wait. Viswa can wait. Just for a little while, you don't have to be anything for anyone." I wanted to argue. Every instinct I had was screaming that staying still was dangerous, that every second we spent on the ground was a second the Inquisitors were getting closer. I should be checking my gear. I should be training. I should be doing something. But my head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, so I let my eyes stay closed, letting the warmth of her arms be enough for now.

"Just for a minute," I agreed.