Chương 107: Heroes

Vasil was still looking at the trees when he finally found his words.

"I was a fool," he said.

"I thought that by serving the King, by stabilizing the realm, I was making a safe world for her. I spent my days in the council chambers, debating taxes and border disputes, while Zofia... Zosia was out there, becoming the very thing the laws I helped uphold sought to destroy."

"I gave them everything," he whispered.

"Every waking hour. My loyalty. My counsel. My years. I thought I was part of something... something grand. I should have spent more time with her. Instead I spent my life with the people who ended up taking her from me. I told myself I was making the world safe for her, but now I wonder… Was I doing it for myself? Did I just want to feel important?" He shook his head.

"And I did not realize what truly was important until they took her from me. And then it was too late. And the shame and guilt I feel from that. The weight of it is crushing."

"They called me Vasil the Wise," he spat as if the title disgusted him now.

"They should have called me Vasil the Fool. Vasil the Blind. Vasil, who traded his daughter for a hollow title. I didn't even know. I did not know her class was unsanctioned. I rarely saw her. I wasn't even there when she chose her class. I am sure she told me at some point, but it didn't even register. I just told her 'that's nice, dear' and went back to my duties." He exhaled slowly.

"You ask me what she was like? How she lived? I am ashamed to say I do not know. Or at least not as much as a father should know. I sat in those rooms feeling like the smartest man in the kingdom, while the only person who mattered was screaming for me to notice her, and I just... I did not register it. I was too busy with politics to realize my own daughter had just signed her death warrant." I looked at him, seeing the weight of that guilt pushing down on him.

It wasn't that he didn't love her; it was that he had prioritized the "important" work of a kingdom over the "ordinary" life of his daughter. And now, the kingdom was gone, his title was gone, and Zosia was gone. I looked at the horn hanging from my neck. I may have spent a lot of time rolling my eyes at Perry's stories, but at least I'd heard them. I'd been there for the nonsense. In fact, I spent most of my waking hours with him.

Vasil had been in a palace, surrounded by people who didn't give a damn about him, while his daughter was running out of time. I wonder if she'd chosen the class hoping he'd finally notice her, pay attention to her.

"I wonder if she chose it on purpose," I said. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Vasil flinched.

"I have wondered about that as well. Many times. I wondered if she had chosen that class to force me to notice her. A desperate plea to gain my attention. It would have been very much like her, I suppose. Like you, she was reckless. Like you, she enjoyed mischief, though now I also wonder if that, like the class, was all a cry for attention."

"If that was her goal," he whispered.

"Then I failed her more than I imagined. It makes sense, since I was the only parent she had. Her mother… her mother passed during childbirth. She resembled her so much, it was often difficult for me to look at her. And all she wanted was to be seen by me. To be loved by me. And I could not even give her that. I loved her, yes, more than anything, but I could not show her." He turned back to face us, tears in his eyes.

"Even the things she did, I only found out after. She helped so many. Healed so many sick. She could even regrow people's limbs. If only I had known. I would have told her how proud I was of her." He shook his head.

"At least… I hope I would have told her that. Perhaps I still would have ignored her. It took her death for me to really see her." The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"She could regrow limbs?" Kasia asked, amazed.

"So they told me. Apparently she had chosen [Krviodavtsa]. A class that allows you to heal others with your own blood. How she got offered that class, or who offered her that class I do not know. They did not know. She would not tell them." A small, sad smile appeared on his lips.

"Apparently she was quite defiant, even in the end. They told me she was joking and insulting them right up until…"

"So, you see, Hecate," he said, meeting my eyes.

"In a lot of ways you remind me of her. I know you are not her. But when I saw you, I just thought, maybe, I'd been given a second chance. Or perhaps I could help one girl before she gets… I thought maybe I could help you evade the Church. Help you grow so that you may become strong enough to stand against them. To help you help the people of Silesia. I see the good in you. I see your spark.

I just hoped I could help you cultivate your flame, grow it so that it may warm those in need, burn those who seek to destroy you." I stared back at Vasil. He was standing there with tears on his face, finally admitting that he'd been blind to a daughter who was literally bleeding for her people.

"She was giving herself away," I said.

"One drop at a time. And you were worried about taxes." Vasil didn't flinch this time. He just nodded, the sad smile still on his lips.

"I was worried about the realm. I was worried about the King. I was worried about everything except my daughter who was sitting across the table from me, getting paler every day." He hopped closer to me, his eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that made me want to look away. But I couldn't. Not after what he'd just confessed.

"I see the same thing in you. I see the spark. I see the way you look at Kasia. You have that same fire. And I am not going to let them put it out this time. I am not going to be 'Wise' and wait for the death warrant. I am going to help you burn them first."

"I'm not her, Vasil. I'm not as good as she was. I don't heal anyone with my blood. I just shoot people."

"You shoot the people who make others bleed. Zosia healed the wounds. You stop the hand that makes them. It is the same fire, Hecate." Kasia put her hand on my arm.

"Come on, Hecate. Really? You 'just shoot people'? You can't seriously believe that. Not after everything you've done. After everything you've done for me, even!" I looked at Kasia's hand on my arm. She was looking at me with a frown.

"It's not the same," I said.

"Zosia was a basically a saint. She literally bled for people. She gave her life to save them. I'm just a girl with a gun and pretty good aim. There's no comparison."

"You think the people you save care about the comparison? You think I care if you use a gun or your own blood? You're here. You're fighting. That's more than most people ever do. You saw those villagers back there. You saw how happy they were. You can't tell me you didn't feel their relief. You gave them hope. You say Zosia was a saint, well those people called you a saint as well. I know you haven't forgotten that already. When did you become so humble? What happened?" When did I?

I wasn't sure how to respond so I looked for an escape, a way to deflect or direct the attention away from me. I looked down at Bogumir.

"No snide remarks?" His brow furrowed slightly.

"I don't think it's in my best interest to antagonize my captor."

"Stop that," Kasia said.

"I know what you're trying to do. Don't try to change the subject." I sighed.

"You're putting a lot of pressure on me. It makes me uncomfortable."

"Does it?" Kasia laughed.

"You're always saying you're going to kill all of them."

"Well… I am. I'm going to. But that's different."

"It's not though. Is it?" I thought about it for a moment. Maybe it wasn't different. Maybe I was just afraid that if I started thinking of myself as a hero or a saint I'd have to start acting like one. Sure, I might have helped a couple of people here and there, but I didn't feel very heroic. Most of the time helping someone was just a byproduct of me being forced to shoot someone in the face. I had a hard time believing that counted.

"I don't know," I finally answered. All this talking had made me feel restless. I felt like getting up and running. I felt like maybe shooting some things.

"We should get moving."

"We should take more breaks," Vasil said.

"You have been pushing yourself non stop. I think it would be better for all of us to slow down a bit. Jumping from one stressful situation into another cannot be good for you." He gave me a nod.

"It isn't good for you. Take a breath. Besides, I believe you still have three unassigned skill points. You also have quite a few unidentified rings and amulets, as well as that essence."

"Essence?" I asked.