Chương 114: Just Two Saints, Hanging Out

"She's making it up," Bogumir said.

"Me?" I asked.

"Make things up? Never!" Vasil looked intrigued.

"What did the System say when you asked it for clarification?"

"Yeah… I didn't exactly ask it for clarification. I figured I'd just ask you about it. Less reading."

"Perhaps you could do that first." I opened my Stats page. [Hecate, Gunwitch Level 17] Believers: 11 Headhunter Totems Equipped: 3/3 Strength: 8 (1 + 7) Dexterity: 61 (33 + 28) Barrier: 1 (1 + 0) Attunement: 134 (21 + 113) Stamina: 7 (7 + 0) Luck: 1 (1 + 0) Chaos: 1 (1 + 0) Alright, System. What does "believers" mean? [A believer is an entity that recognizes the user as a primary source of [Divine Authority], [Salvation], or [Inevitable Destruction].] Alright. Cool. So what do they recognize me as?

And who are these believers? [11 entities recognize you as a primary source of either [Divine Authority], [Salvation], or [Inevitable Destruction].] And what does having 11 believers do or give me? [Nothing.] Is there an amount of believers that will give me something? [Yes.] What amount would that be, and what would it give me? [It depends on the amount of believers and what they recognize you as.] I turned to Vasil.

"The System isn't being very forthcoming with information. It basically said '11 entities recognize you as either [Divine Authority], [Salvation], or [Inevitable Destruction]' and that if I get more believers I might get something out of it. What I would get depends on what they believe me to be."

"What sort of benefit would you gain?" Vasil asked.

"It didn't say, and honestly I was starting to get a little bit annoyed by the answers. I guess it doesn't really matter at this point since I don't have enough of them and I don't know what they believe me to be."

"My vote goes to [Inevitable Destruction]," Bogumir said. Kasia shook her head.

"No. I think [Salvation]." Vasil considered it for a moment.

"I believe it could be a mixture of both. Regardless of who believes what, this is a very interesting development. It is telling that you crossed the threshold after your battle with Bogumir's squad. A lot of people witnessed that and heard your story. Some of them even called you Saint Hecate. It very likely has something to do with that."

"She's no saint!" Bogumir spat. I wiggled my hip a bit to give Bogumir a good shake, hoping to annoy him.

"Don't be jealous, Bogey. If you'd been nicer in life people might have thought you were a saint as well. Instead you chose to be a dick."

"Slaughtering holy men and women doesn't make you a saint." I had to suppress a laugh.

"Not once in my life have I killed a holy man or woman. I've killed a bunch of bullies and child murderers, though. I think that may qualify me for sainthood. Or at least, that's what the people of Silesia believe." If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

"You're nothing but a cold-blooded murderer."

"Don't make me laugh. My blood is very warm. I know you didn't manage to draw any during our fight, but you've been cuddled up against my hip for long enough to know that. I also think you should have paid more attention in school. A murderer is someone who kills without justification. I've had nothing but."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"I don't have to tell myself anything. I feel like we keep talking in circles. You assholes started something you couldn't finish. In fact, the Church has been trying to kill me since I got here. Should I just roll over and die? Do you really expect me to just give in because some assholes tell me to?"

"Yes." I turned him to face me.

"Would you?" He hesitated for a couple of seconds.

"If the Church demanded it."

"What if my Goddess demanded it?"

"Obviously not."

"So we understand each other now." Once again he considered it for a moment, then got a look of resignation.

"I guess we do." I let him go so he could dangle freely once more.

"Maybe we'll be friends after all." He didn't respond.

"Alright, Vasil," I said, clapping my hands.

"I think we've rested enough. I want to see what's up with Viswa and why that map was so messed up."

"But we have barely rested at all. You need time to process everything that has happened. Your mind and body need to recuperate."

"I can process it on the way there. It's not that close. Seriously, Vasil, I'm getting restless staying in one spot. I feel like every moment someone or something can jump out of the bushes and attack me. The longer we stay here the likelier it is that we get found."

"What about the jewelry? You have not even identified any of it."

"I can do that on the way there. It's not like we'll be walking non stop. Stop stressing me! Or are you trying to make me lose my mind?" He nodded at me.

"There is still one thing you need to do before we can get going."

"No, I don't think so. I think we're pretty much done here."

"He means you should put on a new face," Kasia said.

"And a different class as well." I tapped my chin.

"So… [Definitely Not a Witch] is out." Kasia shot me a look.

"I was just kidding!" I said, throwing up my hands.

"What if I change into Bogumir? I could be Bogumir Landa, perpetually annoyed and sanctimonious [Reclaimer]""Absolutely not!" Bogumir snapped.

"I would advise against it," Vasil said.

"Bogumir was not just any inquisitor, he was a squad leader. People know him."

"He's hanging from my belt," I said, pointing down.

"Wouldn't people recognize him anyway?" Vasil shook his head.

"Unlikely. He is quite small. Most would assume it's a charm carried in reverence of a saint or martyr. Unless he spoke, I doubt anyone would realize it's him."

"I'm not an it!" Bogumir said. I rolled my eyes.

"What are you so upset about? Didn't you hear him? People might finally think you're a saint. Isn't that what you wanted? Maybe we are more alike than you thought. Just two saints, hanging out together, occasionally fighting injustice. Not eating babies, but protecting them." I slowly nodded.

"I can see it, Bogumir. We could totally turn your image around. No longer would you be a selfish dick who enjoys bullying people weaker than him. No. You'd be Bogumir the Redeemed. The martyr who sacrificed himself in support of Saint Hecate the Beautiful."

"I don't understand how you guys can stand this shit," Bogumir said.

"She never stops." Kasia shrugged.

"I think it's charming. She's pretty funny, you know. Give it some time, and she'll grow on you. I'm sure of it." Hearing Kasia say that warmed my heart. She thought I was charming and funny! All this time I was scared they either had no sense of humor here, or even worse, that I wasn't funny. Now I knew the truth: I was funny, but Silesians were just very reserved with their compliments. My thoughts drifted back to what class I should pretend to have. Something unassuming. [Carpenter]?

No, I wouldn't want people to think I was some kind of degenerate. And I'd probably have to change into someone with a goofy-looking face to sell the whole thing. Kuba didn't have a goofy face, of course, but I assumed he was the exception. I didn't actually know any other carpenters. No, [Carpenter] wouldn't work. It would have to be something that would allow me to still be beautiful, but at the same time not give people any expectations of me. I didn't want to have to do anything.

If I told people I was a [Carpenter], they'd probably start pestering me with all sorts of unreasonable requests. What if someone came up to me with a handful of sawdust and demanded I tell them which tree it was from? What if someone asked me to smell their house to check if the floor was still structurally sound? I didn't know anything about structurality or sounds! To me sound was something you heard with your ears, for Goddess sake! And I didn't know how to play an instrument either.

I was getting confused just thinking about it. What if someone asked me to fix a chair? That would be simple, right? Kuba once mentioned that making beds was super easy. And since chairs are basically small, vertical beds, those would probably be even easier to make. Maybe they are not, but they still kind of are. You'd be able to lie down on a very big chair as if it were a bed. They really are like small beds! They even have a headboard! Kasia was looking at me expectantly, and suddenly I got an idea.

A big grin split my face, like a [Carpenter] splitting a tree. This was going to be so good, and it would give me everything that I'd need. Honestly, I was pretty proud of myself for being so smart. A lesser mind would have struggled to come up with something as genius as this. Me? Only took me a second.

"You have an idea?" she asked.

"I have the perfect idea."