Chương 53: Book 2; Chapter 52; In a spotlight (2)

During the time while Anthony was greeted, Anniet went through many phases. Seeing this cold and unapproachable look on the face, she used to see only smiles and friendliness, squeezed her heart so badly that even the hidden words that the headmaster said yesterday dropped out of it back in an opening. She tried to hide it again, but her heart right now was so small that nothing could be hidden in it." Maybe you love him so much that the thought of him being unapproachable is unbearable to you" …

That's what she said. And she said it in such a simple way as if it was the most natural and obvious thing. She desperately tried to hide these words away in case someone else would sneak into her heart and read them there. But to no success. The phrase " It's only a name" was playing in the back of her mind all the time as if she were trying to convince herself of it. But how can it be only a name? The headmaster said that he is not unapproachable, that it is only what people say about him…

Looking at Anthony now, it didn't seem like just words. Oh, thank god she never told him how she feels about him… That would be unbearable. What she is saying! Not how she feels about him! How she felt about him. Surely these feelings are left in the past, never to return. Then why doesn't it feel that way? The unexpected flood of joy had overtaken her at the moment Prince Ragnar finally managed to lift him. It was so obvious that Anthony allowed him to do so, but it didn't bother the young prince at all.

The victory was his, and he was overflowing with joy and happiness so much that it was shared with everyone around. Did Anthony know it would make him so happy? Was that the reason why he waited, resisting for so long? Anthony, she knew, probably would behave like this. Prince Ragnar didn't look afraid of Anthony… And he himself didn't look that scary. Then why Anthony, no, a Dark General was so frightening? Dark General… She didn't want to call him Dark General.

Well, yes, he was dressed all in black, but it didn't make him dark. Or did it? Well she didn't know. But black always suited him so well. Still does. He didn't change that much while in uniform, just got his cape on, and this cold face expression. If he ever looks at her with these cold eyes, she probably will turn around and run away. That is, if she will be able to move. Coincidentally, Anthony's wandering eyes slid by the audience and stopped at her.

Anniet froze for a second, being caught staring at him like this. Just now she realised that despite sitting so far away, she could see all that was going on the stage down to the smallest detail. And these dark, beautiful eyes were now looking directly at her. They didn't look neither cold nor scary. They looked the same as they always did when looking at her. With so much kindness and gentleness and lots of curiosity. And they were so warm… She could even physically feel this warmth.

Why did she ever think that his look was cold? What a peculiar thought… It was never cold, and it wasn't now either." It's only a name" suddenly got a completely different meaning. If to forget all the names, he has received since becoming a general, and take out of consideration where he was standing right now, he didn't look that different. Anniet knew that she should feel uncomfortable after he looked at her for so long, but surprisingly, she didn't.

If anything, it felt very similar to the very first day when she came to his cottage and he was looking at her all the time without lowering his eyes. Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings. She is never going to call him Dark General. There is nothing dark about him. Maybe he has to be cold and scary while being general? That would make a lot of sense. Thinking about how many people plagued Rainee after finding out who she was… It probably was happening all the time.

It was known to everyone that Dark… no, that Anthony was always looking after her. How could he chase everyone away otherwise? Definitely not with this soft and warm smile he is smiling at her right now. Anniet couldn't do anything but smile back at him. Seeing that the general is looking this way and smiling children around got all ecstatic and started to scream and shout, jumping and waving their arms, covering Anthony away from Anniet's sight. The moment was lost.

When she could look back at him, he wasn't looking at her any more. It was difficult to understand if she was feeling relief or sadness over it. But the promise she made to herself just a minute ago only strengthened. She will never call him Dark General. General Blake was his actual title. Was Blake his true name? She couldn't say it didn't suit him. But still, somehow it didn't feel right either. Anniet tried to concentrate on what was going on around and what King was saying, but it wasn't easy.

Rainee told her to go sit down, relax, and enjoy the show, and she tried to do her best not to miss any, but her thoughts were not with the events that were taking place right now. Her thoughts were only with two people participating in this event. Rainee looked so beautiful. God, how amazing she was! But no matter what, a thought that she might be something other than just Rainee she had known for so long, never crossed her mind again. Gone? No, she is definitely not gone.

Just busier, more occupied, carrying more responsibility, but that's it. So what if Anniet will be able to see her just very rarely? It makes no difference. She was fully aware now that after today, her life would change drastically, and despite being relatively close to Rainee, they both would be as far from each other as possible. She will have her responsibilities, no matter what it will be, and Rainee… Rainee will be occupied with hers.

Once she already said that if she were a general, she wouldn't be able to spend time with Anniet, as generals are extremely busy. Now, after the understanding Rainee shared with her earlier, she became fully aware of what it meant. They hardly have any time for themselves ever. All their time is dispersed between duty and people, might it be protecting them, or teaching, or training, or many other small details that everyone thinks to be very minuscule, and it is.

However, after adding up hundreds and thousands of them, it is so time-consuming and still leaves only a few happy, while many unhappy. When she received this understanding, it horrified her. When she saw her possible life in the Capital, it didn't look so bright. No matter if she would join King's Army or be assigned other duties, she would be able to do so little yet, and her progress would be either slow or limited. Only then did she fully understand why Rainee wanted her to stay in this School.

While in this School, she would not see Rainee at all for a while, but when she would come out, she would be a completely different person. All time spent here would be oriented to her own improvement, not about her changing herself to suit others, and her progress would be very rapid. After this School would let her out, she would be a completely different person with much higher abilities and potential.

If then she were to choose to join King's services, much more would be open for her, maybe even places where she could work alongside Rainee, not just spending time with her, but helping her in many possible ways. After realising that, the decision she should make was clear, and she didn't wonder why everyone else left in a hurry. If at that very moment Rainee had been happy and smiling, she would have done exactly the same. But it wasn't the case. Rainee was in so much pain…

Something that was going on between her and King was hurting her so much that she couldn't bear it any longer and exploded, nearly bringing the building down. For a moment, Anniet was sure that Rainee was going to chop King's head off and was surprised to see that it didn't happen. And the way King looked at her and spoke to her… She was sure now that he loved Rainee a lot. Then how did he hurt her so badly?

Only at that moment did she understand what the headmaster meant when she said that only a lot of pain can make people change not only their lifestyle, but even their appearance too. There was no way she could leave now and forget about it. All she wanted to do was to go and hug Rainee and hold her tightly. How could she even think that Rainee was some mighty hero who didn't need anyone and could do all by herself? … Truly, some thoughts are so ridiculous… However, they feel so real at times.

She wanted to come in at that very moment, but some invisible power wouldn't allow her to enter the room where her friend was torturing herself. If there would be a lock on a door, it would not hold so strongly as that power. She waited, and waited, and waited, and then King left, and she was free to go in. Things didn't go her way; instead of helping and consoling Rainee, she felt so sad that she couldn't stop crying, and Rainee had to console her… How strange. She didn't feel sad before hugging her.

But it doesn't matter now, as by the time this sadness slowly vanished, Rainee was feeling much better. Now she was slowly recalling what she had heard while being held away. So Rainee was his daughter… He himself called her daughter, but Anniet thought maybe that was just how he felt about her. But then he said that Rainee is his own flesh and blood. And Rainee never objected to that. So that was the truth. This must be a lie she was talking about.

It must be a secret, that's why Rainee told everyone to leave before it could be revealed. King had only two children, two sons. Both were standing now next to the King, and one of them was firmly holding Rainee by the hand and looking at her with so much affection, time after time. What a rotten situation… Were they really brother and sister? If so, wasn't this love a little bit wrong? She thought again about Rainee's reaction yesterday when they both met." I found you" he said.

So he has been looking for her all this time. And she was so happy. Through the months spent together, Anniet thought she had seen Rainee happy many times; now she knew it was nothing. Even now, just standing next to him like this, Rainee was much happier than she had ever been through all the time they knew each other. Anniet didn't even know how she knew it; she simply knew it.

She also could feel this overwhelming love coming from Rainee towards Prince Angus, and just because of it, Anniet would like him a lot too, if not for this strange, angry feeling towards him she was unconsciously experiencing. That was so strange. She never felt this kind of anger towards anyone. Also, he hasn't done anything to upset her. Anniet's thoughts were going round and round about what she had witnessed, what she had heard, about the words King spoke, how he spoke, about Rainee's reaction.

Until she couldn't think about it any more, as it was making her dizzy, and she told herself to stop and relentlessly chased away every memory or thought related to it.