Chương 68: Book 2; Chapter 67; Under watchful eyes

Anniet stood quietly, looking into the distance where her friends disappeared a while ago. They were out of sight, and all that could be seen in this direction were the faces of other people, but right now she didn't see with her eyes but with her heart, and her heart was with those she loved. Loved was the only word that fitted, as anything else was not just too small but even inappropriate. Love… How can the same feeling be so different and still be the same?

If someone were to ask her right now who she loved more, she would never be able to answer, as it was simply incomparable. Then why does one bring so much joy when another brings so much uncertainty? Why is she happy to display love for one person for everyone to see, while love for another she would hide deep inside, not just from others but even from herself, if only she would know how to do it.

Why is she prepared to take one under any conditions, even if there would not be a positive response or even a rejection, while in another rejection seems so unbearable that she didn't even dare to take a risk to disclose it. But is there anything even to disclose… As she has been proven repeatedly to be the opposite.

"Rainee thinks very highly of you," - Anniet said while still looking in the distance. She spoke to Old John without looking at him, but somehow she knew that he would not have a single doubt to whom these words were addressed.

"She always was a very sweet girl," - Old John replied, - "and she still is." Just as Anniet thought… There are no secrets.

"Can everyone here read people's minds?" – She asked, finally taking her eyes from the place that swallowed those she wanted to be with and looking to the man she was entrusted to.

"My child, there is no such thing as mind-reading. Never was and never will be."

"But you know what I am thinking?"

"To know what you think and to read your mind is not the same, is it?"

"For me, it looks the same," - it truly did. No matter what, she could not see a difference.

"When you look at the small child looking at the cupcake on the table, don't you know what he wants?" Anniet just smiled and didn't say anything. It is not a secret what would be on a child's mind.

"So you see, it is not that difficult at all, and there is no mind-reading included. How a child would behave, why he wants this cupcake and what he will do are the interesting parts and more difficult to predict."

"So, I look like that child looking at the cupcake?" Anniet asked, lowering her eyes and thinking that she must look just like that while looking at Blake. Looking at something that she cannot reach.

"For me, you look like a child who is seeking something that he already has. The only question is what you will do with it." Anniet looked back at Old John. She wanted to ask so much, but the weight of the surrounding eyes couldn't be ignored much longer.

"Everyone is looking at me…" - she said in a quiet, desperate voice. That was true. Since the moment she woke up in Blake's arms, she was constantly under the surveillance of so many eyes... And it wasn't just random glances. Everyone around was constantly looking at her. It wasn't that bad while in Rainee, Blake and Ruffus' company, as she could easily say that everyone was looking at them, and she got attention only because by chance she was in their company.

But now they left a while ago, so there was no reason for people to linger around any longer. But everyone stayed. And it was she who got all the weight of these curious eyes, as everyone was looking directly at her. And talking. And whispering. And pointing… She didn't really know neither how to cope with it nor how to react to it.

"That's the price for being friends with someone famous," Old John said in a soft voice.

"Besides, I don't want to be harsh on you, but I am somewhat famous myself, you know…" He added, looking at her with laughing eyes.

"Especially now, when our friend called me her master so openly." That somehow broke the tension, and Anniet laughed too. This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. He was right – everyone knew who the Old John was. He wandered the world for so long that there were even speculations that he might be even older than King himself. The Wanderer was his nickname, as he never stayed in one location for too long but would go from one place to another.

You would hardly find a town or a village in the world where there would not be at least one person who had met this wanderer. It was known that he was very respected in the Royal palace and by the King himself. Also, despite there being no recorded or spoken event about him ever using force, he was feared a great deal. Strangely enough, the higher position one would occupy, the more they would evade Old John (old John).

There were tales about generals and ministers of the past, who would scream in anger just at his sight on arrival to Capital. However, there were no tales about him ever confronting any authority. Also, many would say that he was a master and teacher to the Rainbow general and helped her to gain all the power she has. Many would deny, saying that these suggestions didn't have any footage, as Old John didn't know that much himself.

That he had amnesia and could remember nothing, which is why he kept wandering around, and his soul would not rest until he remembers who he was and what had happened to him.

"Sorry," - she said, smiling at him, - "I didn't mean to discredit you." As a confirmation of John's words, a group of Anniet's past colleagues from School approached. Their curious eyes watched Anniet, but after greeting their addressed Old John, not her.

"Master John, when and where will your classes be available? We would like to rejoin it as soon as possible." – A young woman asked, speaking on behalf of the entire group.

"Nice to see you again, Emily," - John said. – "I love your spirits and eagerness, keep them up, and when there are such classes, I will make sure you all are informed. But I didn't come here as a teacher, as it is not my place to teach."

"So you cannot teach while you are here?" – Emily's voice was disappointed, and John's reply had the same effect on everyone around.

"What I can do and what I will do are not necessarily the same. Here are many outstanding teachers. I am sure they will take good care of your development. If you include in your future training that little I already taught you, then even better, it will make me happy to see you using it.

"Why can't you teach while you are here? What will you do?"

"I can teach, but it wouldn't be appropriate because I am neither in charge of the King's Army nor a member of it. Where my services are needed while here depends on the request of the commanding officers of the Royal quarters. And as the request from one of them was to be a guide, that's what I intend to do." Now Anniet received a few really stinky looks and quickly spoke up.

"No, no, it's alright, I can look around by myself. You can go and teach others, I don't mind at all."

"My little girl," - John said, - "you are kind as always, but still have very little knowledge, and that little that you already have got overpowered by overthinking, how not to be a burden or obstacle for others. It is entirely up to you if you want to use my services offered or not. But it is not up to you what I will do with my time if you choose not to use it. Everyone who makes you think differently just puts you off track. Don't pay that much attention to them.

All of you have been educated about the usage of somebody else's time. If someone has forgotten it or disagrees with reality, there is no need to follow them, as by following these so-called "lights", you will find yourself swallowed by darkness in no time."

"……………….." And here she thought Rainee being firm and straightforward…. Now Anniet fully believed that this man was Rainee's teacher. Rainee just didn't catch up with him, that's all. This seemingly harsh reply put Anniet's heart at such ease. She marvelled at why it had a different effect on others who apologised, wished a good day and left. Why would they get offended or even upset after being reminded about something so obvious? Of course, it is neither for her nor for anyone else to distribute John's time.

It was so good that he had reminded her about it; it took away any responsibility for something that she wasn't even responsible for. But how firmly he said it!" No wonder that people are afraid of him", Anniet giggled to herself. After that, even the glances of the surrounding people stopped bothering her so much. Isn't it just the same thing? Something that she cannot change, no matter what she does or how she behaves?

"I want to use it," - she said aloud, referring to his services that she, just a minute ago, refused so carelessly. Rainee would ask now,"To use what?" to make sure that Anniet understood herself the full impact that randomly said words might have. But Old John didn't, he just smiled and said:"Then I am all yours."

"Because Rainee told you to?" – Anniet asked, thinking about how much more power Rainee's word has in this place.

"When someone asks something wise, why should it ever be rejected?" – Old John neither confirmed nor denied her statement. Now it was Anniet's time to smile.

"But not today," - she added, - "I don't think I have anything to ask, or want anything to see today. I am a little bit tired, and I just want to go and have a rest." She thought for a few moments before adding a true reason why she wanted to go home.

"I also want to stay by myself as I want to think about what has happened and what I have learned." Old John didn't say anything, but it was obvious that he didn't have any objections. Anniet's current home wasn't that far away, but she was glad that Old John was with her, as it would still not be an easy task to find it while being surrounded by so many people. Luckily, everyone was good-willed and would part in front of them, letting them pass by.

Crowds also didn't follow them to the very door but stopped a good deal before, as if there would be some invisible barrier. Anniet even asked Old John if that was the case.

"And yes, and no," - was a reply. – "In the Royal quarters, there are areas where everyone can use at any time, and there are areas only for those who have some sort of business or need to be there. It is not forbidden for anyone else to come, and if you try hard, you will succeed. But one who doesn't have anything to do in an area of a specific use will feel like an intruder and will have an urge to leave this place as soon as possible.

This feeling is very overwhelming and unpleasant; not many want to experience it, so it is much easier to stay away."

"I see," - Anniet said, - "I think I know what you mean, as I feel just like that when I am approaching the palace. Is it because I am staying in a place that really doesn't belong to me?"

"No, my dear, we are talking about two completely different things, and it would be good to separate them now before it gets too complicated. You feel that way only because you think that way. It is not even the real feeling. You just convinced yourself that you don't deserve to be in this place, and it has become your little reality. But all of it is just in your head and in your beliefs. As no one else is involved, it is entirely up to you to clear up this misunderstanding, as otherwise you will live in it.

To experience how truly this place feels, you will have to come out of that little false reality you built around yourself, for yourself. Only after waving it off as non-existent, you will be able to experience how much love and welcoming thoughts have been put into this place while assigning it to you. There is a big difference between feeling what is going on around and thinking. One involves discovering, and the other involves guessing based on previous experiences."

"One leads to growth, another leads to stagnation," - Anniet said, smiling to herself and fondly thinking how Rainee would finish this explanation.

"You have a very good teacher," - John smiled at her while opening the door to the already familiar hall, - "don't think even for a minute that she would lead you to the place that you truly don't belong."

"No," - Anniet replied, smiling to herself, - "I have a very good friend."

"It is even better," - John didn't argue.

"How will I find you tomorrow?" – Anniet asked"Just look for me," - he said, staying by the door and not going any further. – "When you want to see me, I will find you." That was a funny way of arranging a meeting, but Anniet didn't argue. She walked across the hall to the stairs, then turned around to see if Old John was following. But he wasn't here any more. She was all alone in this large, luxurious, but empty place.