Chương 9: Book 1; Chapter 8; Lucky Encounter (5)

"Can you teach me sword fighting?" Rainee didn't move or open her eyes, just her smile widened. Rainee really enjoyed this company even more than she enjoyed the sun. This girl was so… so many things but not ordinary. She had all the traits that common people do, but still she managed to be so open and honest. Like a little child in an adult's body. Just so spooky… Little breeze of wind, and she shrinks back to herself. But also so brave at the same time.

Compliments, she says, are so simple yet so honest and sincere that they hit right on the target. No wonder she is afraid to tell them. Anything said with such a weight of heartfelt belief added to it will hit spot on and cannot be ignored. The problem is that people are not open to so much truth. As genuine as the compliment may be, when stated in this way, it reveals all related aspects of a person that really don't fit the compliment."

Not just pretty, but also wise," said in such a way would make a person feel pretty but also would remind them every little part where one doesn't feel that pretty. Same with "wise". Persons' spirits would be uplifted by feeling smart, but only in places where they agree. And every part that they just played wise, or didn't feel that way, would be disclosed to them. The more unwanted places are disclosed, the more likely it is that such a compliment will be taken as an offence.

As it would feel like the whole world has just been reminded of all that doesn't fit the compliment, when in reality, it has been reminded only to the person themself, and everyone else has the same knowledge as before. And the person who is capable of giving compliments in such a way definitely either doesn't know about hidden secrets, or thinks they are insignificant. Otherwise, the compliments would be fake and wouldn't have such weight.

In addition to that, not many people manage to ask Rainee questions that would lead her to discover something new about herself that she didn't know before. Or rather to say, she knew, but never gave it any thought, so it was equal to not knowing. And this girl has already done it more than once. Honestly, what does she want to learn? It's been a while since she asked herself this question, if ever at all. No, she doesn't remember ever even thinking about it.

When she wanted something, she would look for possibilities to do it. She never had to think about what she wanted, as life was bringing more than anyone might need. She never had to think in advance. Well, life is slowing down now or taking a different direction. Perhaps, in this part of her life, she will have to think of what she wants, and just then it will be presented to her. Will see.

"I know that I am not fit for sword fighting, and my posture and body structure are not up to it, but hopefully it wouldn't be too much of a time-wasting as nobody else wants to learn it at this time, and you said you like it."" Here it comes again," Rainee thought, sighing inwardly. Useless beliefs ingrained in a person so badly that the person themself believes them to be true and circles their life around it without even realising that there is nothing to circle around.

It is just a castle of sand, or rather of the air, as once it is demolished, there is not even any sand left. These beliefs are built on nothing from nothing. However, these weightless beliefs become a cornerstone of people's lives, and to knock them out becomes a mission that requires many days and considerable effort. If people would just realise the importance of the impact of words, they would not use them so lightly in such nasty ways.

The easiest way to control someone is to make them believe that you are bigger and brighter, while they are small and unimportant. Or, as in this case, the conception of the abuser and the abused is completely twisted around. Indoctrinating that the abused was the abuser and actual abusers were just good people trying to make life better, and were forced into taking actions that supposedly were out of their control. That's how the one who got abused and hammered becomes at fault for whatever happened.

That's how good becomes bad and bad becomes good. Truth, as always, was much simpler and not complicated: the one who hurts another, for any reason, seemingly good or bad, is the abuser, and one who was hurt, deservingly or not, is abused. Then everything becomes clear and understandable with no corners to hide behind. But people don't want to accept this truth, just as many others. They like to believe that bad and faulty are on the other side, and they themselves are always right or at least trying to do good.

And it is just circumstances that are bringing out the badness in them. There was nothing wrong with the girl's posture or body structure. The posture would be perfect if she could manage to shake off this uncertainty about herself that was surrounding her. Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. The body structure didn't have many flaws that would require any extra work apart from regular strengthening.

Her bones were straight, her joints were flexible, her heart was willing, she wasn't hunched, she wasn't twisted, she wasn't rigid. She would make a perfect swordmaster in a very short time. However, she would never use her mastery on a battlefield. She would never use it in a real battle. She would never use it to hurt someone. The girl just didn't have it in herself. That wasn't a bad thing either. In fact, it is a very rare quality.

But despite all these perfectly aligned qualities, she would never excel in the King's Army. She didn't have the obedience required for it. One would laugh at such a statement after this girl listened to everything she was told and obeyed without any resistance or questioning. But it is not the same. She has been trained to obey, and it is clear that she has learned this for survival in a life that, for some reason, was very unkind to her. She was also a very kind person, willing to be at the service of others.

But there was a spark of resistance inside that wouldn't be broken at any cost. If the order she received would go against what she holds dear, no matter the outcome, she would not relent. She would stand her ground, and there would be no force on earth, apart from the one within herself, to shift her from that position. That's an excellent quality too, possessed by just a few, and it reminded Rainee of someone she knew very well, but couldn't remember or connect to who it was.

In any way, a person like this would make a perfect commanding officer but a very poor subordinate. As an officer under command, she could never be trusted one hundred percent, as anything that would go against her morals would stop her like a wall. As a commanding officer, she would excel. A commanding officer should never go against upheld morals or against what they think is right, and should be able to stand their ground regardless of the pressure. But she will never be a commanding officer.

There just was no conception of "commanding" in her. A person like this was helping others, not commanding others. Teacher or healer were the best positions for anyone with such a personality. Maybe a cook, but highly unlikely, unless influenced by others. Production? Possible, but only in the direction where it would help others, and not where one would express oneself. Definitely not a painter or any other craft-maker that would bring up one's personality.

It was obvious that she could not be a teacher, as she herself had already admitted that she knew very little, and the thirst for new knowledge was overflowing in her. That's why she thought she didn't want to learn anything. The reality was that she wanted to know everything so badly that it was overwhelming her and closing her down. A harsh upbringing, which obviously didn't permit her much, didn't help there either. So, let's make a guess – healer.

"When at home, what was your occupation?" Rainee asked aloud.

"I was a healer, but I promise it would not interfere, I would not become someone who harms people just because you teach me how to use a sword." Yup, healer. No surprise here. Well, not a surprise about the occupation, but a surprise about the way people think. They would not allow this girl much, they would not trust her, teach her, or befriend her.

But they would happily entrust her with their health, in other words, with their lives, fully confident that she will not do any harm and gladly take the benefits of her work…

"I promise I will not even fight with it. I just want to learn. I just want to know…" that's where Rainee had to interrupt.

"What is the point of learning something and not daring to use it?" she asked. What a strange way of thinking. If you are given something, then make sure you use it! If the giver thinks you would use it for the bad, then there is no reason to give. But once given, there can be no restrictions placed on how it is used. What is given is given. A giver's, or rather a teacher's dilemma is what to give, what to teach, and how to do it. However, once it is done, it is entirely up to the user to decide how to use it.

The responsibility of the teacher lies in what they have taught and how they did it, but not in how it was used later. And teaching doesn't consist only of passing on knowledge. It involves much more.

"If I teach you something, I expect you to use it any time you can. Otherwise it would be a waste of time," Rainee said. She could feel how badly this girl wanted to learn this skill that didn't suit her at all. There must be some underlying story. And it is definitely not one of loss, or revenge, or the desire to protect that follows these kinds of stories. Rainee delayed the reply not to tease the girl, nor was she going to reject this request.

It is entirely up to every person what they want to learn, and not for others to say whether it is suitable for them or not, or whether it fits them or not. She didn't respond straight away on purpose. And it was to let this girl sit with herself for a bit, to realise that what she said before was not true. In fact, she was so eager for new knowledge that she was absorbing every little drop available. And it worked. She learned this lesson very well and got the most out of it.

Now it was time to move forward before eagerness could be replaced with despair.

"So, will you teach me sword fighting?" Anniet double-checked with a heart full of hope again.

"There is a very big problem with this request that prevents me from fulfilling your wish – for sword fighting, we would need swords. I don't see you carrying any. Surely I am not that blind to miss it." That was true. Rainee couldn't teach sword fighting without a sword, and the girl didn't have any. Rainee, on the other hand, had a sword with her all the time, but not in a form others could see, at least not everyone.

But she didn't have a second one to give to this girl, so to do anything with swords today was out of the question. But again, for the first day, the sword wasn't even needed that much, mainly to get accustomed to the weight of it. The reaction this girl had after hearing it was truly heartbreaking – her feelings were so sincere, and she didn't even try to pretend. Gosh, it was so nice to be around someone who is not trying to pretend all the time! That's what Rainee missed most after leaving the King's services.

She was accustomed to people showing out of themselves something different to what they were. What she was not used to was staying among them all the time without any rest-by. When she was a kid, she used to travel a lot by herself, and it didn't bug her that much then. In those days, she thought that people simply didn't know or didn't understand, so she tried to teach them at any opportunity given. Now she knows that people don't want to know.

They say that they don't understand, but you can explain as much as you want, and they would still twist and turn vigorously anything you say, adopting and changing it to their own likings, so they don't have to understand. All they wanted was to present their own version of "truth". As soon as there is a "version," there is no truth left in it. This girl was so much more open. What's inside that's outside. And funny enough, she thought it was a bad thing…

After joining the King's army, recruits would spend the first few years mainly trying to achieve this state. Only then does it become possible to work on anything inside that has to leave, for a person to start growing.

"All I can offer instead is a session of stick fighting, that is, if we manage to find any suitable," Rainee continued.

"It is not the same, as a stick is not even a wooden sword, but you would be able to learn at least some stances and a few basic moves."" Oh! That's lifted the spirits!" Rainee laughed inside. Seems that the rest is over. And here came a surprise again – no nagging, no rushing others. She is really prepared to sit there in wet clothes and wait patiently until Rainee's clothes get dry. And again, no pretence in this action – that was precisely what this girl meant.

She was so eager to move forward with training that she could neither sit back and wait nor did she care about her own comfort, but she was full of care about Rainee's well-being, and a thought to rush her didn't even cross her mind. That's truly touching. Surely she would make a good addition to the King's Army, even if at first glance it seems impossible. Dammit, she has to stop thinking that way! This part of her life is in the past, and she has to let it go.

"So I guess there is no excuse to laze around any longer," Rainee said, getting up and dressing herself.