Chương 16: A 50/50 chance you’ll end up as a sentient gas pyramid scheme.

The fire consuming Charlie's cradle vanished. George stood on a round metal platform suspended in a vast, open space. A new notification appeared. Branded: Saar Death Mark Applied. Pain flared across George's left cheek. Light flickered near his eye at the edge of his vision. The smell of seared meat filled his nostrils. He tried to touch his face, but couldn't move his arms yet. The motion only made him flop sideways. >>Uh oh. That can't be good. >>Damn it, that hurts. What is it? >>No idea.

Saar was Charlie's House. >>Hmm… I'm sure that won't come back to bite us. >>What is a House? >>Honestly, I don't know. I guess we should have asked Charlie about that during the "small talk" portion of that trial before we got to the "BBQ" stage. George turned his head to the side and saw ten floating chests along one side of the circular platform. Above them hung a heavy pendulum as long as George was tall. It looked like a very large sword, pitted and spotted with rust.

It seemed to be suspended on nothing; it was just hanging there like a guillotine above the boxes. The platform had no walls. No ceiling. Beyond its edge, objects drifted in a slow, silent orbit—thousands of them, scattered through darkness. >>What the hell are those? >>Elementary, dear Watson. We're obviously in the middle of a vast, cosmic snow globe, but instead of snow it's… umm… floating buildings? Asteroids? Chthonic space blobs? Some of the objects he could see were small. Others were massive—mountain-sized.

One long, cigar-shaped structure floated nearby, covered in smaller objects clinging to it like barnacles. Every few seconds, blasts of lightning crawled across its surface. In another place, a cluster of golden spheres flew in the distance like a flock of birds. There was even something that looked like an enormous, featureless metallic body slowly rotating and catching the light in the far distance.

There was yet another odd structure that looked like a bright, white orchid that was constantly folding in on itself and reforming. It stretched long tentacles out in front of it like a giant space squid. There were no other structures near that one. When George looked at it, he had the distinct feeling it was looking back. >>Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. >>Are we safe here? >>Probably. >>Look at those boxes in front of us. This is the Treasure Room.

I think we're supposed to choose one of those as a reward. I doubt we'd be sent here if we were in danger of being hit by an asteroid or devoured by whatever the hell that creepy orchid thing is. >>By the way, does that thing look like it is getting closer? Nah. Couldn't be. George looked at the ten boxes in front of him. Each one was hovering about three feet above the platform. When George focused on them, his Identify skill activated.

Legendary Boxes: <Jade—Unlock Quest System> <Garnet—Unlock Boon System> <Opal—Unlock Stat System> <Tourmaline—Unlock Race Evolution> <Sapphire—Unlock Class System> <Onyx—Unlock Party System> <Dimensional Inventory> <Celestial Library> <The Way of Encalagon> <Oblivium Tremens> A new notification appeared. Reward: Treasure Room You have discovered a legendary-grade Treasure Room. Each of these boxes contains a powerful upgrade, item, or ability. Some alter the nature of the game itself. You have 10 bid tokens.

Assign them to any box. The more tokens a box has, the higher its chance of being selected. When ready, push the pendulum. The chests will begin to shuffle. You will gain the treasure that is in the center spot when the pendulum stops swinging. After your choice, you will be returned to your cradle. If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it. WARNING: Unsecured Abyssal-Class Dimensional Zone >>Whoa. Legendary. That's a big deal.

Little nervous about that last part, though. >>Any idea what it means? >>None at all. >>So we just put these tokens on the one we want and then swing the pendulum above the boxes? >>So it would seem. Sheesh… it is always games with this guy. Why can't we just pick one? >>Anyway. Can you move yet? George tried to sit up and managed to roll onto his side, then lever himself upright on his elbows. The ten boxes hovered in a semicircle before him, each distinct. The gemstone boxes gleamed in their respective colors.

The Dimensional Inventory was a clear glass cube filled with swirling pinpricks of light. The Way of Encalagon took the form of a metallic sphere, its surface rippling like liquid with something shifting just beneath. The Oblivium Tremens box was crystal, glowing a sickly green and trailing strands of luminous slime from its base. >>What say we steer clear of that last one, shall we?

"Hunk kiwi snud dow?" >>Ugh. Just think your words to me until your mouth unfreezes. I am embarrassed for you. >>What do we do now? >>Pick a box. >>Do you have any extra information on what these mean? >>Sort of. I have general knowledge about the way games like this tend to work. I have no idea what Oblivium Tremens or the Encalagon one is. Maybe they're great. Maybe not. Those would be a bigger roll of the dice than the others.

>>The others are recognizable, but there is no telling how the AI will interpret them in this instance. Maybe a dimensional storage space is just like a magic purse that's way bigger on the inside. Or maybe it is an entire realm that mirrors your soul and which you can eventually rule like a god. >>That is oddly specific. >>Seen it before. Those things get pretty weird. >>OK. Why don't you start at the beginning and break it down for me like I don't know anything? >>… Which also happens to be the case. >>Nod…

>>Aye aye, Captain. >>A quest system could also have a whole range of meanings. Maybe this would turn the requests from other players into discrete tasks for you to perform, like "Go kill the rats in the sewer under my tavern." Or maybe it would allow you to create your own quests to get others to do things for you. >>You could do a lot with a dimensional storage space with the MacGyver build you've got going. It is perfect for a crafter. Plus, you have those Reduce and Expand skills.

Imagine if you could shrink everything down to pocket-size, pack it away in your personal storage space, and then pull it out of thin air and make it normal size. It would be like a little "everything store" in your pocket. >>Some dimensional storage spaces freeze time for objects contained inside them. Sometimes you can put living beings in them. Getting stuck in somebody's timeless black box would be a pretty good deterrent in a game like this.

>>I don't know what a celestial library is, but I have a hunch it would let you learn things quickly. Like… boom… you know kung fu. >>Boons can be very useful single items or powers. Like, let's see, an article of clothing that lets you cast an impenetrable shield around yourself for a fixed amount of time. >>Boons can also be intangible favors that you can use to make a deal with a powerful figure like a god or djinn or something. As in, I'll trade in this boon and you make everything I touch turn to gold.

Or, here's this boon, now make Helen of Troy fall in love with me. What could go wrong? >>And stats? >>Stats are measurements of your capabilities. You already have them; they just can't normally be improved upon except through good ol' fashioned studying and training. The average strength stat for a human is around 30. Bodybuilders might be able to get theirs up to 50. Your strength stat is probably in the neighborhood of 9, let's be honest. >>Ouch. >>Sucking in your gut won't hide that flab from me, mister.

I'm inside you! >>There are potentially thousands of stats, although the traditional ones are intelligence, willpower, constitution, strength, charisma, agility, luck, etc. >>The Encalagon one is a wild card. Maybe Encalagon is some badass god who will take you under his wing and give you a backstage pass to his interdimensional order of snake alchemists.

Or maybe it is a sentient poisonous gas cloud, and the "way" is all about how you, too, can become a sentient poisonous gas cloud and then absorb others until the whole universe is one big sentient poisonous gas cloud. >> You think the Way of Encalagon is a multi-level marketing scheme? >>Dunno. Lots of weird stuff out there. >>How about those others? Class, party, and race evolution? >>A race evolution could really switch your game up. There are a whole lot of other races in the universes.

This would let you become one of those. Probably. >> I could become an alien? >>Brother, you are already somebody's alien. Besides, what you think of as an alien is only the tip of the iceberg. If you can dream it, you can be it. >>Want to become an insatiable and virtually indestructible blob of teeth and muscle? That's called a Shoggoth. >>Want to be a shadow assassin capable of passing through solid substances? That's a Vesporian.

>>Want to be a planet-sized dragon that swims through the deeps of space and eats stars? That's a Vorpal Wyrm. >>I feel I must remind you at this point that we really have no idea how the AI will interpret these tropes in this game. It has an agenda of its own and enabling you to become a space dragon probably isn't high on its list of priority outcomes. More than likely, you'll get dwarf, elf, orc, goblin, or blah, blah, blah. Boring. >>And it would be a permanent change? >>Pretty much.

>>So I could push this pendulum and then get the race evolution and then be stuck as a goblin forever? >>You're already stuck being George. Would being a goblin be any worse? Ba dum CHING! >>But seriously. Yes, it could make you a goblin, but what an underdog story that would be! >>A party system lets you group up with other people. Sometimes you share experience. Sometimes you can share items through a party inventory. Some party systems let you talk to people in your party even when you're not with them.

Some even let you teleport to where party members are. It's super useful, but you've only met one person in the game, and you killed him. So… >>And finally, class systems. This could actually be pretty useful for a guy like you. It would allow you to specialize. As far as classes go, you've got your classics like rogue, mage, healer, paladin, barbarian, and they just branch off and get crazy from there. >>Maybe you'd get necromancer. Those guys are pretty scary.

I saw one take over an entire city in a night just by making a few people zombies who then went around eating people. It went exponential, and before he knew it, he was the ruler of an undead city. And he was just a kid. >> So how do we pick? >>Just like the message said. We put some bid tokens down, push the pendulum, and then cross our fingers that we don't get the shaft. Let's not get our hopes up since getting the shaft seems to be your M. O. in this game.

>>50/50 chance you'll end up as a sentient gas pyramid scheme. >>Speaking of pushing that pendulum, are you able to stand up? I could probably crawl us over there with our hand but I know you get… sensitive about that. George pushed himself up to a crouch. He tried to stand but nearly fell sideways so he settled for resting his hands on his knees and bending over. >>Whoa. Steady as she goes, partner! You're like a newborn deer. >>And how is our talking now?

"Guggle sssamost derr," George slurred. >>So we'll keep waiting on that, then.