Chương 62: A big box hardware store, but for killing things.

The armory was an enormous room with dozens of tall racks forming long aisles. Now that George was inside, he could see labels marking what each aisle contained. He looked to the left and the right and saw some labels for things that made no sense and some that he recognized.

<Shields> <Ballistics> <Melee> <Rejuvenation> <Trial-Specific> <Ability-Specific> <Class-Specific> <Fook's Sake> <Psychoterica> <Wetware> <Outbreak> <Needs Must>"Whoa," George found that was the only word that could come out of his mouth as he surveyed the towering stacks of gear in front of him. >>It's a big box hardware store, but for killing things. >>I have never felt more at home. >>Can we move in? >>Is there an ability orb in here called "Ditch The Cradle Forever And Live In The Starship's Killatorium"?

"Pretty cool, right?" Marcus said.

"Like Johnny said, I'm Marcus, a. k. a.

'Lightning.'" Marcus made air quotes with his fingers.

"And this is my sister, Lavender."

"—vis-a-vis 'Thunder!'" Lavender said and made a pose like a combination of a curtsey and a karate chop. Marcus rolled his eyes.

"You… live here?" George said. They could still hear Johnny using a stern voice to tell the kids to bring George back into the hangar. >>Screw that guy. Not so long ago, he tried to give you a gut full of dodgy vindaloo. >>And a parasite emetic… and I take that personally. >>I say we give him more of the ninja star treatment, only with flamethrowers.

"No. Well, we have sleepovers sometimes, but most of the time, we live in the crew area of the Trial Nine," Marcus said.

"The Trial Nine?" George repeated.

"You know… this ship," Marcus said, pointing to the ceiling.

"You are in a trial right now, yeah?"

"Oooohhh," Lavender said.

"But not the ninth trial?"

"The ship?" George said.

"The ship is called the Trial Nine. We live here. It is a giant spaceship that hosts everyone's ninth trial. We aren't allowed to go to that part of the ship. We sometimes get people from other trials too. Which one are you doing?"

"It is my second one. Called Minotaur something," George said. >> The Minotaur Justifies the Existence of the Labyrinth. George cleared his throat and said, "The Minotaur Justifies the Existence of the Labyrinth."

"Don't know that one," Marcus said. Lavender shrugged.

"But how is it going?" George opened his mouth to speak, but Lavender interrupted him.

"Sooo. Do you want to see the fort? We can try to find something good for you to take." >>Rocket-propelled grenade aisle, please.

"Sure," George said.

"Lead on." The armory warehouse stretched out in front of them in row after row of towering racks. Many shelves were lined with silver crates and boxes stamped with words in languages George didn't recognize. The children walked past several aisles, then turned down the aisle labeled "Wetware." George followed behind them as Identify flashed labels for everything he was seeing faster than he could read them.

<Synapse Lace> <Dreamjack> <Mimetic Skin> <Muscle Graft> <Womb Worm> There was even something called a vox slug writhing around in a glass container of yellow liquid. >>You'd think I'd be a fan of all this, but I'm only creeped out. One parasite per customer, please.

"Dad said never to touch anything in this aisle," Lavender said. >>The model of responsible parenting.

"Go play in the death warehouse, but, you know… don't touch anything."

"But we know everything about everything in here," she said.

"We do battles. That's where we got our names." >>Did you follow that line of reasoning, George? >>Not exactly. George gave her a thumbs up. She gave him one back. The deeper they walked into the warehouse, the more debris dotted the floors. Identify showed George that while some of the ever-increasing mess was packaging and empty containers from esoteric weapons and items.

"Almost there," Marcus said. Then they came around a corner, and George saw that an extremely ramshackle structure had been built into the upper tiers of several storage racks. It looked like the pieces of a spaceship had crashed through the ceiling and lodged themselves haphazardly between the racks. The more George looked at it, however, the more he saw little catwalks and clever ladders and balconies connecting large pieces of plating and sci-fi weaponry.

"And there is our fort!" Lavender said.

"What do you think?"

"It's… impressive," George said.

"How did you move all this?"

"Easy. Look," Marcus said and took a tablet out of his pocket.

"This is the warehouse interface. It has the entire inventory with descriptions and videos of how to use all the stuff in here. We watch it all the time. When you want something, you just click on it, and the drones will bring it right to you if it is small. For everything else, we use the dislocater." He jogged down the aisle and picked up something that looked like a rifle with a small satellite dish on the end. <Dislocater>"Do me!" Lavender said, leaving George's side and running toward her brother.

Marcus pointed the Dislocater at her and squeezed the trigger. A beam of dancing purple light enveloped her, and as Marcus tilted the Dislocater upwards, Lavender rose into the air.

"See? It's a lifter," Marcus said.

"Weight doesn't matter. We used it on the heavy parts of the fort." Marcus set his sister on one of the high platforms of their fort and shut off the Dislocater. Lavender had crossed her legs in a seated position as she was floating up, and when the beam shut off, she plopped down onto the platform with a little thud. She was precariously close to the edge, but Marcus didn't seem to notice that he'd dropped his sister in a dangerous place.

He had already moved on to a new story about the thing they used to glue everything in place, but George interrupted him.

"Hang on. What if she falls?" George raised his voice.

"Lavender, come down from there. Is there a ladder?" Lavender stood up and flicked a switch on her belt. It lit up with a ring of glowing blue lights that circled her waist. Then, she did a swan dive off the edge of the platform." Nod!" George shouted and ran forward, raising his arms to catch her. However, Lavender didn't plummet to the ground, but fell as slowly as if she was walking down the air instead of falling through it. She made swimming motions as she fell. Marcus explained, "We wear the belts.

They aren't technically items that belong to the warehouse, so we can take them everywhere. They are standard safety equipment that everyone gets. They're tons of fun." Lavender touched down near something that looked like a whip made of seven slender snakes braided together.

"Oh, look at this one!" <Cadwalloping Claghefter>"It's meant for fighting, but it's actually super good at cleaning," Lavender said, waving it at him.

"It's top."

"We had a scrott in here once, and you should have seen what the claghefter did!" Marcus said.

"It lifts things too, just like the Dislocater," Lavender squealed.

"But then it turns them inside out!" She giggled.

"And then, we were like, 'let's just clean up all the smears the same way,' and WHAM! It did it—skin and all," she said. She tucked the strange whip into her belt. >>I like this girl. >>She's my kind of crazy.

"Yeah. It's top," Marcus agreed.

"Want it? The warehouse lets you take one thing. Have it for free. We won't tell." >>This is your on-board brain spider chiming in with a friendly round timer announcement… The timer has dropped to 8: 46.

"Kids, listen. That looks great, but I think you'll put it to better use than me," George said.

"I have a problem, and I need to find something here to help me solve it. But we don't have much time. The round is about to end, and then I will disappear."

"Ok. Sounds like we need a palaver. Let's get into the fort," Marcus said.

"Lavender!" Marcus shouted at his sister, who had climbed up a ladder on the adjacent rack and jumped off the edge, striking various aggressive poses as she fell, screaming, " THUNDER!" Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!

"Ugh. She is so annoying," Marcus said.

"Want me to dislocate you up to the fort or do you want to climb?"

"Um. I'll climb. Thanks," George said. Marcus shrugged and shimmied up the ladder his sister had used. George followed and when he reached the top, he found Marcus setting three wide pillows in a circle on the floor for each of them to sit on. Marcus stuck his head over the edge and shouted, "Lavender! Get up here! George is being serious. We're going to palaver!" In a minute, Lavender climbed back up and seated herself on the ground beside her brother.

"When Dad has to talk about things with the crew, he does a palaver meeting," Marcus said.

"So tell us your problem, and we'll do a palaver too."

"I call captain!" Lavender said.

"No, I'm the oldest, so I am the captain," Marcus said.

"I call vice-captain," Lavender said, looking relieved.

"That makes you poopsmith, George. Sorry," Marcus said with a shrug.

"I'm what?" George said.

"A palaver is like a war council where everybody says all the important things, and they make decisions. But the captain is in charge, and he doesn't want everyone to talk at once, so they have a palaver," Marcus said.

"And there's always a captain on top and a poopsmith on bottom. The roles in between don't matter as much. They're just whatever, but nobody wants to be the poopsmith. Obviously," Lavender finished.

"It isn't really a poopsmith. It is really called a predelate—""No, it's PROdiate," Lavender said.

"Whatever. Anyway… we call it a poopsmith," Marcus said.

"Gotta have one."

"So you're the poopsmith," Lavender said.

"What does a poopsmith do?" George asked. >>George. While I would typically be all in for humorously degrading your sense of self-worth, we do not have time for this. >>Let's get out of here, walk over to the ballistics aisle, and find the most badass gun we can find before we get teleported out of here. >>Or let's just grab that turns-stuff-inside-out snakewhip off the crazy toddler. That looked like a good time.

"The poopsmith would like to ask a question out of turn," Lavender said.

"Shall we allow it? Vice-captain votes no. All against?" She raised her hand. Marcus sighed.

"George, maybe let me explain things, and then you can ask questions once we get going…"

"So here is how it works," Marcus took out his inventory tablet. Lavender copied him.

"You can tell us the problem and we'll tell you exactly what you should take. Weapons, rejuve potions, hazmat… whatever. Ok? Then, the drones will deliver it all here and you can pick before your time runs out. How much time do you have left?"

"Just a few minutes, I think," George said. >>06: 12 >>This might actually be faster than running around the warehouse and reading descriptions.

"So. What's the situation?" Marcus said.

"No! We have to agree, or it's not a palaver," Lavender said and flung an arm at her brother. Marcus dodged her hand and rolled his eyes.

"Poopsmith petitions to tell us the situation. Seconded?" Marcus said.

"Seconded," Lavender said.

"All in favor?" Marcus and Lavender raised their hands. George belatedly raised his.

"Passed," Lavender said with finality. Then, they both looked at him expectantly.

"OK. Well, I woke up in a room and couldn't remember anything, then there was this button—" George stopped when Nod chimed in. >>Jesus Christ, George. >>Repeat after me. >>I'm in a trial. Lots of powerful people are trying to kill me. I suck at fighting, but I have a brain spider who does my dirty work for me. >>I have a psychic sidekick named Cassie and another family member in the trial. I want to protect them and not die and maybe even be on the winning team.

>>What is the best piece of gear that place has to offer me to achieve those ends? George related some version of those sentences, and the kids started tapping and swiping on their tablets before he had stopped speaking. He could hear the metallic whir of drones detaching from the ceiling and flying through the warehouse.

"George, do you want to go offense, defense, healing, or trial-specific?" Marcus said without looking up from his tablet.

"Vice-captain's two favorite weapons on the way!" Lavender said. She smiled up at George and showed the tablet to him, but just as he bent forward to see what she'd ordered, she took it back and started swiping again.

"Should we do the Sibilance?" Marcus said to his sister.

"He said he's not good at stuff." George said, "Why don't you just bring an assortment of things and let me decide once it is all here?" Marcus looked at him and said, "Yeah, but the Sibilance is like… whatever. It's in the Needs Must aisle. So it's crazy."

"Do you have a shield?" Lavender asked George and then said to Marcus, "He needs a little shield."

"Yeah, but not too little," Marcus said.

"The NOPE?" Lavender said.

"Oh, that's a good one," Marcus agreed.

"Does your trial have power tokens?" Lavender said.

"No," George said.

"Ability orbs?" Lavender said.

"Yes."

"Ok, let's get him some ability orbs," Marcus said.

"We'll just sort randomly and order a bunch." >>OK. I am now officially a fan of the Palaver Plan. >>This is awesome. >>I'm mature enough to acknowledge when I'm wrong. A small drone flyer swooped into the fort and carefully set a silver wand down near Lavender. <Sorrower>"Oh my gosh, Lav. I can't believe you ordered that! Send it away," Marcus said.

"George, don't touch that one." Lavender rolled her eyes at her tablet, but a drone flew in and scooped up the wand just as another drone arrived and deposited a weapon that looked like a mean black bird with a gun barrel for a head. <Mini-Shrike, Model 7—Shoulder Turret> Marcus glanced at his sister's second choice and said, "That's better, at least." Another drone dropped off a coiled piece of purple rope and plopped it down next to the shoulder turret.

<Neural Override Protection Envelope (NOPE)>"That one is a circle of protection," Marcus said.

"You throw it down and weird things happen to any enemies who get too close. They fall asleep or turn around and forget you."

"Or fall in love with you," Lavender added.

"Or claw their own eyes out!"

"Yeah, weird stuff like that," Marcus agreed.

"But the downside is it doesn't protect you from, you know, like bullets and stuff. Just people. So… pros and cons." Another drone dropped a thin, black bracelet beside the NOPE.

"What is that?" <The Silent Negation—Force Bracelet> Marcus swiped on his tablet and said, "Let's see. That one is a wearable emitter that creates a force wall in the armor category. It neutralizes the momentum of anything that hits it. Looks like it works for physical and magical projectiles." He shrugged and said, "It's a shield. Light. Easy to carry. Easy to use. It's top."

"Boooorrrr-ING," Lavender chimed in, eyes never leaving the screen of the tablet Both children kept tapping at their screens, and drone after drone flew in and dropped their terrifying payloads. One drone flew in a clear cube that looked like it was filled with light-eating darkness. It hovered when the drone released it. George's ability sent a notification. Ability Notification! Threat Level 3 Knickknack Savant - Level 5"What is that?" George asked.

"Don't choose it. It's bad," Lavender said.

"I ordered it because it CAN be really good," Marcus said.

"But it's defiitely one of those 'win-some-lose-some' items."

"What does it do?" George asked.

"It sort of takes control," Marcus said.

"Only it is super smart and never makes mistakes and can see like 100 moves into the future," Lavender said.

"The backstory is that some of those weird guys from the Concatenating Cipher showed up one day and gave a lot of stuff to the captain, and the Sibiliance was one of the gifts. Some people think it can tell the future, but it says it can't."

"It can talk?" George asked.

"Yeah," Marcus said.

"The downside is that when you touch it, it influences you and you always end up doing what it wants." >>So probably not that one.

"I think I'll pass," George said. >>The timer just jumped a whole minute and now is stuck at 4: 03. >>We're getting down to the wire.

"Wait," George said, waving at the kids. The floor of the fort was rapidly filling with deadly items.

"I motion to stop getting new things. I need to figure out what these are and choose one." They looked at each other and laughed, "Poopsmith doesn't get to motion," Lavender said.

"You have to wait."

"Unless it is a motion in omnibus," Marcus said.

"Oh yeah, except in omnibus."

"But only if it is an amended amendment," Marcus said.

"But this isn't that." No one said anything for a moment and then Marcus turned to his sister and said, "Maybe we should stop." She shrugged and said, "Seconded."

"All in favor?" They all raised their hands.

"The poopsmith would like to choose an item now," George said.

"Permission granted," Marcus said.

"Choose mine!" Lavender said, and she held up the shoulder-mounted gun.

"It has a kill mode where it fires at anything that moves. You wear it on your shoulder… and make sure there aren't any friends around."

"Hmm, let's keep that one in mind," George said.

"What are these others?" George surveyed the piles of items that took up nearly all the free space in the room. <Grub Drone> <Entropic Dust> <Nanite Stitcher> <Fugue State> <Rope-a-Dope> <Redshirt Appeal> There was a roll of what looked like glowing tape that Marcus said you could use to create frictionless zones of space to trap people in. There was also something called the Censurer that had an of emergency teleport escape power. His eyes fell on a row of neatly placed ability orbs and asked what they each did.

As George looked at them, Identify supplied their names. <Denial Ain't Just A River In Egypt> <Bought With Silver, Paid In Blood> <Plucks Fly Together> <Sweet Sassy Molassy> <Dodge Tank> <Panopticon> <Bright Copper Kettles and Warm Woolen Mittens> <They Always Come for the Prophets> <Hot Mic> Marcus stepped gingerly over the heaped items on the ground and pointed at each ability orb one by one, listing its effects.

"This one keeps your vote private," Marcus said.

"That one lets you listen to other player's conversations during hunting rounds. That other one locks a player in to the same hunting room so that the exit portals only send them to the same room.

"This Panopticon one gives you a minimap of all player's locations for one hunting round," Marcus said. >>If only Cassie were here. She could Bubble-Gum Bubble-Gum this one for us. Then Nod commenced narrating. >>"It had all come to this. The choice before him could prove the difference between survival and annihilation, between the salvation of his friends and utter failure.

As he surveyed the potent pile of provisions, plunder, and paraphernalia, he was cadwallopped and claghefted by a sense of his own insignificance that seemed to turn him inside out and smear him across the floor—" George heard the whirring of more drones detaching from the ceiling and coming closer to the fort. Marcus looked at his sister, but she wasn't holding her tablet. The first drone to enter the fort darted toward the Sibiliance and took it in its grabbing arms, flying back through the entrance.

As soon as it disappeared from view, the threat level dropped back down. Three more drones entered behind it, each flying into the room and snapping up one of the items on the ground. Marcus picked up his tablet, swiped at it, and said, "It's Johnny! He's locked us out. He must have called Dad."

"That stupid dummy!" Lavender said. More drones were entering the fort and crowding the space; George ducked as one buzzed at his head. One drone dove for the ability orbs and George batted it away with his gauntleted hand.

"Lavender!" Marcus shouted.

"Operation Thunderstorm!"

"ATTACK!" Lavender said. She had the claghefter in her hand and swung its whiplike cords at another drone, and they each latched onto a part of the drone and tore it apart in a shower of sparks. She was so surprised she let go of the handle. The claghefter kept attacking the drone until it was only a pile of mechanical bits on the ground, then the whip went still. A loud voice came from one of the drones hovering near the ceiling, "You have interfered with an ongoing trial.

Report to the custody of—" The first voice cut off when a new voice took the microphone away and started shouting at the children, "Get up here right now, you two! Your father said you could play in the warehouse if you could show us you could do it responsibily—""Oh no, it's Marcie!" Lavender said. Marcus turned to George and said, "Stepmom."

"—And what do you do? You release the Sibilance from containment! Tell me you didn't touch it! Do you know how much trouble you are in?" The voice went on shouting at the kids. They both looked angry. Marcus turned on his belt and jumped off the side of the fort, descending out of sight. >>Choose wisely, George, but choose FAST! These drones are going to take our stash. >>Also, there are only 75 seconds left in the round. George bent down over the ability orbs and tried to remember which one had which effect.

Two drones flew toward the orbs and got tangled with each other, crashing into the wall and sending sparks through the confined space. George had to dodge out of the way again and a drone with multiple grabber claws started plucking the orbs up one by one. George kicked it away, and it flew right back toward the pile of orbs.

"Here!" Lavender plopped a pile of items at George's feet and said, "Quick!" She had the claghefter back in her hand George could see the purple beam of the dislocater flashing back and forth across the entrance to the fort. Marcus used it to toss the drones out of the way before they came in. He wasn't getting them all, but he was getting some. The speaker drone had hovered at the entrance.

"Marcus! Put that thing down immediately!" The Dislocater caught the drone in its beam and knocked against the opposite rack. The voice cut off. George bent down and sorted through the remaining items. He could see the roll of glowing tape, the shield bracelet, Lavender's shoulder turret, and something that looked like a hole punch that Identify called a "nanite stitcher." There was also the ability orb called Plucks Fly Together, but Marcus hadn't said what that one did.

A few other items were still dotted around the room, but George was afraid that if he left this pile to grab them, a drone might dart in and take what few items remained. >>44 seconds. Choose now! These seconds could be gone in an instant. George bent down and picked up the ability orb and the shield bracelet. <Plucks Fly Together> <The Silent Negation> >>Seriously? I thought you were going for the auto-kill shoulder turret. We don't have much offensive capability here.

>>I'm not going to pick an item that might end up shooting all of our friends. >>… because we have so many of those. George dropped the orb and slipped his hand through the bracelet on his left hand. It expanded to fit around the gauntlet and then cinched itself around his wrist just below the emissary shard. >>Suit yourself. >>Just know that when you die, I'm spending your last remaining gold on body upgrades and I'm taking over your corpse and going on a vengeance spree in your memory. >>Just saying.

>>Can't stop me. >>OK. Time's up. Back to the voting room. >>Ready to be famous?

"Bye, Thun—" And then George disappeared.