Chương 24: Soon George has to go away to a place where something will probably eat him.

>>George, we have a few hours before the next trial starts, and we're going to need to grind as many clicks as we can in that time. >>However, before we roll up our sleeves and get to work, let's take stock of what we have. Hit that Status button. George did so with a thought, and his status popped up. Status Name: Plain ol' George Race: Only Human Gold: 0 Skill Points: 0 Current Average Click Speed: 0, get a move on!

Click Counter: 199, 400 Level: 15 (probs not enough to survive the next trial, let's be honest) Quests: • Make a home—0/1 • Find family—0/? Time Until Next Level: 00: 45: 11 Time Until Next trial: 06: 18: 05 Skills: • Draw 2: 3% • Bind 2: 1% • Expand: 27% • Reduce: 6% • Bore: 0% Familiar: Noddy Krueger Minions: 5 x burgeoning nodling spiders George resumed pulling the cord for the trike clicker, and his click count began to rise again. >>We're about to get that 200K milestone bonus.

Fingers crossed that it is some gold since ye ol' coffers are empty. >>I suppose there is always Pain for Gold.

"No," George said.

"I'm never doing that again." >>Yeah, that makes sense. >>But… >>Not dying also makes sense. >>Hmm… what should we do? Get gold with a side of pain, or… >>Die. >>Tough one. >>Let's think about that for a while.

"Can you somehow use your spidery brain magic to make it not hurt as much?" >>'Fraid not. But I don't think ALL CAPS will usually be involved. From what I can tell, the pain happens until you hit the button the first time, and then it goes away. The fact that it didn't work like that the first time was probably because your facilitator for that session was a nearly-omnipotent-but-probably-crazy-and-for-sure-sadistic AI. >>So, I'm saying don't rule it out. We are going to need more gold.

"Let's see if we can do better on our own first, OK?" George said. >>Ah, repression and procrastination, that potent, time-honored cocktail of coping mechanisms. >>Anyway. Here's what we have to build with: George's Gadgets and Gizmos a-Plenty Key Pack of playing cards Gold ring Ball of twine Tricycle bell Broken tricycle pieces Torn flight blanket Billiard ball. Eight ball. Black. Roasting pan. 9 x 13 Sewing needle Hand-crank egg beater Frisbee Mysterious button >>And one twin-sized bed frame.

George looked down at the pile of items as he pulled on his makeshift cord. The trike wheel rattled against the button, and the click counter rose. The nodlings wandered over as if they could sense they might soon be called upon.

"Your nodlings are small and light, so they aren't going to have much leverage." >>Our nodlings, George. Our nodlings. The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. >>And you are forgetting that your Expand skill can increase both size and mass. As they get bigger, they'll get heavier. >>Also, can you use reduce to shrink the button? George cast Reduce on the button, and sure enough, it shrank by a minuscule amount.

>>OK, let's see if we can get that button from palm-size to penny-size by the time the trial starts. Then maybe the spiders will have a chance of clicking it. >>Hey, here comes that click bonus. New Milestone Achievement: You've reached 200, 000. Bonus unlocked: +20 skill points. >>Ok. Not what I asked Santa for, but "make do" is pretty much the name of your game, so let's roll with it. >>Plus, that'll help with the alarming rate at which the cost of the skills is rising.

>>Speaking of skills, why don't you start your juggling routine and grind those skills? The more you use the skills, the less we'll rely on gold to upgrade them. >>You've got draw 2, bind 2, expand, reduce, and bore. Expand is the closest to upgrading, and hopefully, that will allow it to upgrade the skill into something that doesn't suck. I'm pretty sure your fingernails are growing faster than what that skill can accomplish.

George alternated between casting expand on the nodling he was coming to think of as the "big nodling" and the sewing needle while continuing to cast reduce on the button. He scooped up two extra batteries and tossed them across the cradle, binding them together in mid-air and drawing them back with a thought and a gesture of his hand like a yo-yo. Nod kept a running commentary on ridiculous ways to build spider-sized click machines or weapons, on par with the "giant 8-ball of death" idea.

George tuned him out and let his body do its tasks on autopilot while he tried to think of his own ideas. He kept coming back to the hand-crank egg beater. It was the closest thing to a machine they had and was basically a smaller version of the trike clicker. If they could find a way to anchor it, the spiders might be able to turn the crank themselves.

"Nod," George said, interrupting him.

"While I do things that are actually productive, why don't you get the nodlings working on a project?" >>Oh yeah, you got an idea?

"Yes, it involves the egg beater. I think we might be able…" >>Stop right there. I know exactly where you are going with this, and I was thinking the same thing. We expand it to Gatling gun size, sharpen the sides of the blenders into blades, and then you crank that thing up and march forward, spattering the bodies of anyone in front of you all over the walls. >>Great idea. I think you're getting into the spirit of this game, George.

"Nod," George said. >>Yes, George.

"Why don't you talk to the nodlings and see if you can teach them how to turn the crank on that egg beater? It could be a spider-sized button clicker." >>Ah. OK. >>Nodlings! Ten hut! The spiders hastily assembled themselves into a line in front of George. After the upgrade, they seem to have become slightly more coordinated. Nod told them to grab the egg beater, and they scattered in every direction.

They apparently sensed that Nod wanted them to get something, but they were unable to discern what it was that he wanted them to get. Through commands like "warmer," "colder," and "not that way, idiot," he was able to get them to gather around the egg beater. They crawled over it and tapped it with their black legs.

"This doesn't seem promising," George said. >>No, I think something is happening. The spiders continued to move in, around, and over the egg beater, their arms making little metallic noises as they tapped. After a minute, they ceased tapping on it and waited in a circle around it. >>They don't have eyes. I think they just sort of scanned it. >>Now, turn the crank. When George issued his mental command, the spiders shuffled toward the handle of the blender and pushed themselves against it en masse.

They only succeeded in pushing the whole thing away each time they heaved against it. >>Is there a refund policy on those intelligence points?

"Maybe four intelligence points weren't enough," George said. As George continued using the skills and operating the trike clicker, Nod turned his attention from outlandish crafting ideas to giving the nodlings the big picture of what he wanted them to do and why they were inside this little room. >>See, nodlings… this big meat sack is called George. George is a little slow on the uptake, but he's what we have. >>George is in big trouble. He needs to click that little red button a lot.

He's trying to use all this junk to find a way to click the button faster. >>But soon George has to go away to a place where something will probably eat him. >>That would be bad for us. >>To keep George alive, you need to keep clicking that button when we're gone. You need to use this stuff to make clicks. >>Or George will die. >>And it will be your fault. >>Does that make sense? Any questions?

"And you say that I'm a bad parent…" George said. >>Nodling spiders aren't humans, George. Unlike the children you messed up, they don't need love or kindness. They need a firm hand and a clear authority structure.

"And a little bit of shame manipulation," George added. >>As I have said before, I use what tools I have. >>Besides, it is working. Look at them. One of the nodlings wrapped itself around the egg beater handle and extended four arms toward the other spiders. >>That's right, nodlings. Now, line up and grab that one. The spiders linked arms in a chain and pulled. >>Not like that, you adorable dummies. Pull at the same time. 3, 2, 1, heave! The handle turned, spinning the beaters briefly before stopping.

The nodlings kept pulling, dragging the egg beater toward them bit by bit.

"Huh," George said.

"I guess they are a bit stronger now." >>Speaking of getting a bit stronger, here comes your next level. Three… two… one. New Achievement: Level Sixteen +2 Gold +1 Skill Point Would you like to assign any skill points to Crafting? (Total skill points: 21) >>Yes. >>OK, kids. Mommy and Daddy are going to do some grownup stuff for a while. You keep playing with the egg beater.

Crafting Menu Level One Available Skills • Draw 3 - 15 skill points ⁃ Halt Draw ⁃ Increase distance of Draw ⁃ Increase speed of Draw • Push - 6 skill points • Bind 3 - 15 skill points ⁃ Unbind ⁃ Increase strength of Bind ⁃ Increase duration of Bind • Separate - 6 skill points • Reduce - 6 skill points • Expand - 6 skill points • Spin - 6 skill points • Bore 2 - 9 skill points ⁃ Unlock slicing Bore ⁃ Increase depth of Bore ⁃ Increase width of Bore • Raise - 6 skill points • Lower - 6 skill points • Unlock Crafting Menu Stage Two - 20 skill points Assign Skill to Minion • Draw - 1 skill point • Bind - 1 skill point • Expand - 1 skill point • Reduce - 1 skill point • Bore - 1 skill point >>That last one is great news for us.

"Does that mean we can enable the nodlings to use the skills?" George said. >>Let's try it. George selected the Bind skill minion upgrade. Purchased: Assign Skill to Minion: Bind—1 skill point Select minion to upgrade. George looked at one of the nodlings, and it was highlighted in green light. When he looked at a different nodling, the green light shifted to that one. He picked a random nodling and selected it for the upgrade. Minion upgraded.

George picked up the upgraded nodling and held the two batteries he'd been practicing in front of it. >>Bind these two batteries. And just like that, the spider touched one of the batteries. It clicked together against the other battery like it had been suddenly magnetized. >>Oh, yes. >>We can do a lot with this.