Chương 26: Never invite monsters from the Ink to your planet when death is on the line.

>>DING! George opened his eyes as a mild electric jolt woke him up. >>Nod alarm. Time to wake up. >>Rise and shine, boss. What a day we have before us! >>(Hopefully, it is not our last…) George looked at the trial timer and saw that two hours remained before the trial began. He tried to sit up, but it made his sore muscles protest, so he remained on the floor. Next trial: 01: 59: 55 >>Your body took some damage during that ordeal. I let you sleep until the nanobots healed it up.

>>Next time, we will have to tape the button to your hand or something.

"I'm never doing that again," George said. >>Well, it wasn't for nothing. We got 16 gold out of it, and you unlocked your first stat. >>Granted, had I been given the choice, I would have gone with Strength, Intelligence, Agility, Constitution, or basically any other stat, but… sure… Will. Fine. We work with what we got. >>Story of my life.

"What is the Will stat?" George noticed the rattle of the egg beater against the button and looked at the nodlings. They had somehow managed to attach the egg beater to the bed frame and had positioned the button beneath it. They were producing clicks at a steady pace. >>Oh yeah… we'll get to our progeny's handiwork in a minute. >>Back to your first stat… Will has to do with remaining yourself. If Will were momentum, then a train and a landslide would have high Will stats. It turns you into a landslide…

only your you-ness. Ya know? >>It would, in theory, allow you to withstand more significant levels of Pain for Gold. Maybe we don't try that again until we unlock that Constitution stat. >>Or we get you a seatbelt. >>For magic users, Will also increases the pool of available mana they use for spells and enchantments, making it a highly sought-after stat but not so valuable for you lowly crafters. >>And by the way, did you notice it unlocked after the 11 th gold notification?

Last time, ALL CAPS shut off Pain for Gold until just after the 10th, just before the threshold that unlocked the stat. >>Seriously. What a dick. >>OK. So. On to other business. We have been busy while you were sleeping. Here is a rundown. >>I took the liberty of investing some of your hard-earned gold in the nodlings. >>Oh, and we got a level up. >>Here are the notifications you missed.

New Achievement: Level Seventeen +2 Gold +1 Skill Point +1 Will >>Here are the stats I bought our spiderlings: Purchased: Increase intelligence Purchased: Increase intelligence Purchased: Increase strength Purchased: Increase dexterity Purchased: Increase dexterity >>And here is the progress in your skills. Skills: Draw 2: 22% Bind 2: 31% Expand: 44% Reduce: 38% Bore: 15% >>Industrious little buggers, aren't they? Those skills are probably going to reach their next levels during the trial.

>>I'm not sure what to do with borer, though. He's just poking holes in things. George looked at the pile of amenities and saw that one of the nodlings was cutting the baking sheet in half by perforating it across the middle with tiny holes.

"Whatever," George said. He sat up and stretched his back. It didn't hurt, but the memory of the pain remained.

"How did they manage to get going with the egg beater?" This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. >>I walked them through the early stages. After a bit, they took over. Those intelligence points have increased their ability to learn instead of just (barely) following orders.

"How did you do that with my eyes closed?" George said. >>Your eyes are passable periscopes for an intrepid, young brain spider such as myself, but that isn't all ol' Noddy has in his sensory arsenal. You may have noticed that the nodlings don't have eyes either, but they do just fine. Sort of. >>It is called propioception and mine is off the charts. It has to do with various nanoreceptors on your skin. Don't worry about it. >>Anyway, they keep getting better.

They've been stopping to make little adjustments every twenty minutes or so. About an hour ago, they got into a groove. They haven't reached Trike Clicker speeds, but they've hit a respectable pace. >>Basically, I coached them with gentle instructions punctuated by occasional excoriating tongue lashings when they failed.

"Nod," George said as something occurred to him.

"Did you use my arm to help them while I slept?" >>Arm? What arm? >>Oh, that arm. >>No. Definitely not. I would never do that. Why would you think that?

"Goddammit, Nod," George said. >>Hey, man, What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. >>And by "Vegas," I mean "this cradle while I have forcibly rendered you unconscious." >>Honestly, they did do most of it themselves. Borer went crazy on the leg of that bed frame. Then (together with your arm) we got the handle of the egg beater lodged in the hole. Binder locked the button in the right place. Then they sort of linked their bodies into a chain and started pumping that crank for all its worth.

>>They're still pretty thick, but I'm proud of them. >>Now, on to the last order of business. According to our deal, you owe me three upgrades.

"Oh, do I?" George said. >>One saved life equals three familiar upgrades. If it weren't for your trusty brain parasite pal, you'd still be convulsing on the floor right now. A deal is a deal, George.

"Nod," George said.

"What is a full-grown node spider like? Where are all these upgrades going?" >>Well. As I said before in our Brief History of Node Spiders, AIs developed them to be utility machines in the physical world. A node spider without a host body would look something like a humanoid form made entirely of wire… but strong. Later, they were built to be paired with non-sentient bodies custom-grown for them. Some were soldiers. Some were more in the "general laborer" category. Some were even used for medical purposes.

>>But they hit their stride as weapons in unwilling hosts. Certain varieties of node spiders have specialties, but they all involve interacting with a host's body. Some quietly rode along as spies, none the wiser. Some were designed for brute force takeovers of the host's body, and others just sabotage things internally before seeking another hapless victim. >>So basically, your run-of-the-mill nightmares. They make horror movies out of this stuff.

"And, given that terrifying list of capabilities, why should I ever buy you an upgrade again?" >>Dude. We've been over this. I'm not evil. I'm here to get stronger, but that doesn't mean I will take over your body. >>Ok. Full disclosure. I might be singing a different tune if my host was more of a "Charlie James" type. That guy sucked. >>But you're not half bad. >>Plus, I'm invested in your story. The missing kids. The amnesia thing. The button.

It makes for a compelling rags-to-riches story, and I've got front-lobe seats. >>Besides—and I don't want to freak you out by saying this, but it is reality—if I wanted to mess with the meager meat sack you call a body, nothing would stop me. George didn't know what to say to that, so he said nothing. >>I know you have weird hangups about bodily autonomy, and that is fine. If we never see eye to eye on that, we'll get therapy or something someday. But I do think that upgrading me will benefit us both.

"I get how it will benefit me," George said.

"The first trial made that clear. But you mentioned you were here to get stronger," George said.

"I don't get it." >>That is a long story that will take us far afield from life in this cradle and involve some lengthy exposition. Still, I'll say that the big AIs like ALL CAPs learned how to tap into the infinite possibilities inherent in the strong dimensional forces to actually create new pocket realities. Each pocket reality is like a universe that acts according to rules dictated by the AIs that made them. Different timelines, magic powers, portals to other worlds… the whole shebang.

>>Remember that memory about the black pillar that rose from the parking lot and tipped over all those cars? That was when the first Big Papa AI accidentally punched a hole in the dimensional membrane of your universe. There were 66 of those pillars that appeared all over the world. It was an exciting science experiment that had Pandora's Box-level consequences. >>Before that, humans only had robots and a rogue AI to worry about. Afterward, things really started to go bonkers.

Suddenly, it was a land grab and interdimensional nasties from everywhere were rocking up and saying hello. >>No one even knows what the original AI was trying to do. He fell victim to one of the classic blunders: "Never invite interdimensional monsters to your planet when death is on the line." >>OK. To REALLY fast-forward a long story, war broke out, and all the sides fought their way to a stalemate in which humanity and planet Earth were the real losers… etc., etc.

Eventually, the new AIs learned they could make worlds but never learned how to make non-machine consciousness, so they needed to draw entities into their pocket realities through various means. >>One of those means is through fostering extreme growth in participants.

"So, is that how you end up with space squids with galaxies inside their mouths?" George said. >>Yeah, pretty much. >>So, what else is a young, precocious AI like myself to do to make his way in the world? I joined ALL CAP's game to fast-track my way into super growth. >>Because who doesn't want a galaxy in their mouth? >>…And then we met, and you know the rest.

"You choked me and invaded my body," George said. >>Ugh. Man. Let it go. I thought we'd moved on from that. >>If you keep hanging on to all this old stuff, it will give you an ulcer. Not to mention gas.

"Last I checked, I still had a Nod in my head." >>And lucky you are to have one! >>Listen. I do not know the exact variety of node spider I am. I was in a bit of a hurry when I entered this game and jumped into the nearest form at hand, but I know that whatever my specialty is, full-grown node spiders are pretty much badass killing machines. >>And you need a killing machine on your side, my friend. >>So get me some upgrades and let me off the leash!

"Nod," George said.

"Outside of the moment we met, you've done right by me. I'll get you some upgrades as soon as I get some gold. A deal is a deal."

"And thank you for figuring out a way to get the nodlings to press the button when I couldn't reach it," George said.

"I was panicking. The only thing I could think about was that I made a mistake, and now I was going to die." >>Well. >>I am the one who told you to do it in the first place.

"You were just calling a spade a spade," George said.

"You were right. Now, the trial is about to start, and my only weapon is a sewing needle the size of my index finger. We need every advantage we can get." That was when George heard a new voice behind him.

"Well, I'd be remiss if I passed up an entrance line like that." George spun around and saw a stranger standing behind him.