Chương 45: A few traumatized soldiers catching a breather and smoking a J between battles.

>>Safe until the round ends… Let's see. That's in… huh… 22 minutes. >> It looks like there was some freaky-deeky, funny business going on with time while we were with the dummy >>That goes to show what happens when you hang out with dummy torsos with two first names. >>Let that be a lesson to us.

"What was that line in the snow? George asked June from the bottom of the cabin stairs.

"An ability of mine," June answered.

"It's called Members-Only Killbox. You are members now. Welcome to the club. Nothing gets in or out for the rest of the round without my say-so." June still had the head-to-toe black coat wrapped around her in addition to the blanket. She looked tired but also looked like someone who always looked tired. —She's good but in a sort of complicated way. Not a safe way. —There is someone else inside. Loveland. He is not good, but not bad either—just sort of sad.

>>Cassie, one of the nice things about having you around is that everything becomes black and white in the most simple, morally unambiguous way. >>It feels nice. >>Like a warm bath, only morality. >>This is much better than real life. When the door opened, a tall man, also wrapped in a blanket, stepped out onto the porch. His head was bald, and he wore thick gold earrings on either ear. His beard was neatly trimmed, and the blanket barely covered his large frame.

"Well, hello. Join the party." Like June, he held a steaming mug of something in one hand. <Name: Loveland Race: Homolka Level: 110, D-Grade Profession: Nova Commando Abilities: The Ol' Whatfor; Betake Ourselves Thence; Kick The Tires And Light The Fires, Big Daddy Guild: The Shakedown Jackboots Metadata—Encyclopedia Esoterica: Blocked. > >>What is a homolka? >>Apparently, homolkas are swarthy, ripped-out Jafar-looking dudes.

"Is that hot chocolate?" Cassie said.

"Half of it is," Loveland answered.

"The other half is whiskey." Cassie looked disappointed.

"But there is more chocolate inside if you want some," Loveland said. She slipped through the door before George could tell her not to go inside.

"Are you sure that ability of yours will keep us safe?" George said.

"Do I look worried?" June asked, and George had to admit that, no, she did not look worried. She rested her legs against the cabin railing and draped another heavy blanket over them.

"Besides, the big guy over here is basically a storm with arms and he has an escape ability," she gestured at Loveland, who had sat down heavily in one of the rockers.

"So we're good," she said.

"You've been just sitting here for an hour?" George said.

"Two hours, thanks to June's ability orb," Loveland said.

"You were the one who extended the round?" George said.

"This is your first trial, right?" June asked.

"Second," George said.

"Well, it isn't my second trial," June said.

"And I've learned that when you find a safe cabin on a snowy night in the middle of a trial, make it last as long as you can." George looked from one of them to the other and asked, "How did you end up here together? Did you two know each other before the trial?" They looked at each other, and June said, "Yeah. You might say that."

"People who end up in trials together tend to end up in more trials together," Loveland said.

"They call it orbiting. Though there are always new folks, such as yourselves. Juney and I have crossed paths a few times. When this round began, we both started in this room. I was out in the woods, walking through knee-deep snow and getting cold as hell. Then, I saw the cabin. June let me past her little invisible circle of death. I made a fire and found the whiskey, and here we are."

"Found this, too." June held up a small plastic bag with a bit of something dark in the bottom.

"It's just pot. Normal, nothing-fancy, good old-fashioned reefer. Care for some?" George said, "No."

"Suit yourself," she said and sprinkled a pinch of it out a small, square rolling paper. She rolled the joint between her fingers and licked the edge to seal it. She produced an orange lighter from a pocket and lit it up, taking a deep, satisfied drag before coughing out the smoke.

"Wow. Been a while." This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"Why did you let us in?" George said.

"You don't know us."

"I was in a bad situation once, and Loveland got me out of it, so he gets to come in," June said.

"Cassie is just a kid, and I know who her parents are, so she gets to come in. You're only level 19, and you've basically got a sign around your neck that says ' Clueless.' Besides, with your level disparity, Cassie probably could have scrambled your brains if she wanted to, but she didn't, so you get in, too."

"And what will you do if something nasty comes through that portal?" George said.

"If anybody else shows up, they can walk into the shield and get fried for all I care," June said.

"Seriously, George. Sit down. Take a load off," June said.

"We've got twenty minutes. This cabin is about as good as it gets. I'm going to spend the rest of the round smoking this joint, drinking hot chocolate, and watching the fucking snow fall. Don't kill the vibe." >>Normally, my spidey sense would be going off in a situation like this, but I feel like this could be just what it looks like… >>… A few traumatized soldiers catching a breather and smoking a J between battles. >>Yeah?

The last time you felt good about something, you were being hacked by a suit of armor that wanted to kill you. >>OK. Deserved that. I got catfished. Mea culpa. >>But, still… They're Cassie-certified. >>Cassie is a child. >>Who has probably been groomed for trials from birth and who knows more about this world than you and me combined. —And who can still hear your conversation. —I think Nod is right. —We're OK here. June at least believes we are safe, and Loveland believes her. —And loves her, too.

—But he hasn't told her. It is super cute. —He's thinking about it a lot right now. —But he doesn't mind us being here, either. >>Sheesh, Cassie. It is like you are just rummaging through their brain drawers. >>How do you have friends? —I don't have friends. Cassie returned to the porch with a mug of hot chocolate and a blanket. She pulled the heavy blanket over to a rocking chair next to June and sat down.

"See?" June said.

"The kid gets it."

"The hot chocolate is really good, George," Cassie said.

"And they're on the red team, too." Loveland looked down at her but didn't say anything. Cassie shrugged.

"Do me a favor, honey?" June said.

"Mind your own damn business and stay out of my head." Cassie stared at June with a cold, undaunted expression. The seconds stretched out as they stared at one another until Cassie smiled, and June looked back out at the snow.

"Didn't you have a chainsaw sword and a bunch of armor in the voting room?" George said. Loveland gestured with his head at the cabin and sipped his hot chocolate. George leaned over to look through the window and saw the pieces of his armor and enormous sword stacked in a giant pile beside the wood-burning stove.

"Didn't you have a pair of blue sweatpants and a t-shirt in the voting room?" Loveland said.

"I seem to remember someone else wearing that armor. He lend it to you?" >>Zing. >>He got you. Loveland patted the rocking chair next to him, and after a moment, George sat down. Loveland stood up and went inside, returning with a mug for George.

"Chocolate toddy," Loveland said.

"Heavy on the toddy." >>Hey, while we have time to kill, we have some life admin to catch up on. >>We have a few updates and notifications that I've been holding back because we've been busy making new friends and almost getting our hands turned into crab claws, but since we have this Hallmark Moment, maybe now is the time. >>OK. First, your Bore skill upgraded so you have a choice to make.

Skill Upgrade Unlocked: Bore 2 • Unlock slicing Bore • Increase depth of Bore • Increase width of Bore Skill Selected: Bore 2—Unlock slicing Bore. >>Agreed. Now the Bore nodling won't have to make a bunch of perforated dots in everything he wants to cut. What could go wrong? >> Are you sure the skills don't work on organic things? As in, people? >>Look at you, ya bloodthirsty villain! >>That question brings a tear to my eye. >>But, no. It is still just plain ol' vanilla crafting, not murderkinesis.

>>Here is what the new skill progress looks like: Skills: • Draw 2: 67% • Bind 2: 18% • Expand 2: 32% • Reduce 2: 26% • Bore 2: 6% >>You also got a click milestone bonus, a level-up, and we'll hit level 21 as soon as the next voting round starts and we get the bonus from completing this round. New Milestone Achievement: You've reached 500, 000. Bonus unlocked: Double Skill Point Income >>We needed that big time. Every time you use skill points to upgrade a skill, they all get more expensive.

New Achievement: Level Twenty (586, 047 clicks) +2 Gold (29 total) +2 Skill Points (7 total) +1 Will (7 total) >>I could have sworn that I had 50 gold a few minutes ago. >>You did. >>Yet almost half of that is now gone. >>It does seem that way. >>Nod… >>OK, OK. You didn't seem to be using the gold, so I took the liberty of buying the nodlings tons of amenities. Turns out I can cause them to be delivered to the cradle instead of here.

It is all for the greater good of enabling them to express their creativity and of not embarassing yourself by being such a low level. >>And I really like seeing what inane options come up when we buy an amenity. It is like a very boring slot machine. >>Damnit, Nod… >>The upshot is that the cradle has become a rich, safe learning environment where our baby spiders can express themselves through a wide range of challenging yet inviting crafting materials. >>When did you even get the time to do that?

>>When you were cowering behind that chair in the dark. >>The good news is the click rate has started to rise again. You'd be surprised to see what they can do with a pickle jar, a bag of rubber bands, and one of those giant foam "We're #1" fingers. >>Truth be told, they actually rigged up a functioning electromagnet out of a car battery and a box of metal coat hangers, and you'll never believe what they're doing with it.

>>Some of their ideas are pretty crazy and they seem to want to turn them all into fun rides, but it seems to be working. >>George, I know you have an unconscious addiction to mediocrity probably stemming from feelings of inadequacy due to deep and unresolved childhood trauma, but this was a good idea. Clicks are higher than they've ever been. This is exactly what we needed because the thresholds between levels are about to jump way up and never come back down if the trends continue.

>>The downside is that it is super crowded there now. We will have to buy the kid's a playroom if we survive this trial. >>If the skill menu gives you a "Tidy" skill, we should make a few more nodlings and assign it to all of them. If I could use one word to describe the tidiness of this current batch, it would be "Gremlins."