Chương 54: The Home Alone Contingency

Bonus Event Quest Update! Description: Survive a voting or hunting round. Completed: 5/X Reward: +1 Will, +10 gold, and +1 skill point for each round survived. +50, 000 clicks. Delivered immediately. Received: +1 will (11 total) +10 gold (61 total) +1 skill point (12 total) +50, 000 clicks (854141 total) New Achievement: Level Twenty-Two (854, 141 clicks) +2 Gold (63 total) +2 Skill Points (14 total) +1 Will (12 total) George ignored the notifications that flashed through his vision and focused on the zombies.

They had picked themselves up and were running into the music section. Their running still looked like a slow walk with the time dilation, and all he had to do to stay ahead of the leading zombies was take a few quick steps backward. He dodged between several music racks until there was plenty of space between himself and the three zombies the table had knocked over.

The three whose legs he had bound were still writhing on the ground, confused enough by their inability to pull their legs apart to remain immobilized. >>This is like Pac-Man; only the little dots fly straight into your hand, and if the ghosts catch you, they vomit on you instead of eating you. >>They aren't going to catch me. >>Oh, I like that confidence. >>I'll add that to the Chronicles of Nod and George… >>… As his mysterious power coursed through his body, our hero felt he could do anything.

He hefted his lightning rod like a futuristic rapier and bid the universe to come and do its worst. Under the effects of his puissant ability, he felt reality itself bend to his will… George had backpedaled into the corner of the music section and took a two-handed grip on Cassie's short sword like a baseball bat. He meant to use the sword to bash the zombie aside, but instead, the weapon passed cleanly through the zombie's chest and out the other side.

George felt only the slightest resistance as the sword cut the zombie in half. He was so surprised, he could only stand still and watch the two pieces of the zombie's body slowly fall apart. Even Nod broke out of his overly-dramatic narration. >>Holy shit, Sephiroth! Is that thing a lightsaber? >> ▬▬Ι════════ ﺤ!!! George looked down at the weapon in his hand, but it remained a short metal blade sharp along one edge. Only the tip flickered with electricity.

The black goo seemed to have replaced all the blood in the zombie's body, and it didn't spill like normal blood but piled in ropy, quivering cords on the floor. >>It's the time dilation. >>What? >>Elementary, Watson—behold. >>If you account for the radius of your swing, the angular velocity, and the weight of the blade, odds are that—even with your minuscule martial capabilities—the tip of that weapon would have been traveling about 75 mph.

>>Now factor in the time dilation, and that thing was probably traveling at about 300 mph. >>Translation: Fast-George is a badass. Just don't bump your shin. >>Or punch anyone. George cast bind on the other two standing zombies, binding the knees of their pants to the carpet in front of them. It pulled their knees forward just enough to make them kneel. George stepped toward them and whipped the sword through the neck of one and the face of another.

He didn't pause to watch the results, instead moving toward the three zombies picking themselves up outside the music section. When faced with the gore, something inside him had started to gibber, but that voice was locked away along with the fear and panic. It was there; it just mattered less. George told himself they were just lifelike projections that the AI generated to populate the mall, not real people with real histories. If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen.

Report the violation. He raised the sword and stepped sideways as the leading zombie plunged toward him. The blade whispered through its neck, and George repeated the motion with the next zombie. The final zombie had nearly crawled out of its pants in an attempt to break free, but it kept falling over. As it reached toward George, he used the sword to take the creature's arm off at the elbow and then lopped off its head. [Combat Resolved] Ability Notification!

Threat Level 2 Knickknack Savant - Level 3 As soon as the ability downgraded, time went back to normal speed. George had to look away from the carnage. He hurried down one of the rows of bookshelves and crouched, peeking further down the row to see if any other zombies had come in. He couldn't see any. >>We need to get out of here. >>No kidding. The helmet is blocking most of the smell but this place is pretty rank right now. >>You should rinse Cassie's sword off or something.

>>If you are going to steal a lady's sword, you don't give it back with deadly zombie toxin all over it. >>We still don't know what the hell an "ill-starred knight" is, but surely you can muster up at least that much chivalry. George crept across the aisle to the rack of games and toys and grabbed one of the plush stuffed animals. It was a large yellow griffin that looked like the cross between a chicken and an ostrich.

George pinched the blade between its wing and body and drew the blade through it, carefully smearing the black goo onto the toy. He repeated the procedure several times with other stuffed toys until he could no longer see traces of the goo on the blade. >>Now, how do you retract this thi— But as soon as he thought it, the blade retracted into the hilt, and it was only a plain white cylinder again. He put the sword in his pocket beside the insight potion and the Mentis token and blew out a breath. >>OK, Nod.

What's next? >>We get the hell out of here, obviously. >>Unless you wanted to double back for some pizza to stuff into your pocket as a treat for the day you get this helmet off. >>I saw a portal. Where did that go? >>It is in the back corner. >>By the bathrooms. George padded to the edge of the central aisle and poked his head around it to check for zombies, then walked across the aisle and ducked down behind the shelf. >>You did pretty well back there, bud.

>>Truth be told, I didn't think George, mild-mannered button-clicker, would have had it in him. >>However, when George, Knickknack Ninja Jedi Flash Gordon, came out suddenly, everything was like, "Hold my beer, Nod. I got this." >>Snicker-snack went your vorpal sword, and suddenly, those zombies were about as scary as watermelons at a Gallagher show. >>I mean, bro…

'Twas brillig! >>I think your days of hiding behind chairs in the dark might be over. >>It was strange. When the threat level rose, I didn't need to think. I just acted. >>But it was harder to feel things. I wasn't worried about Cassie or myself. And I wasn't afraid. >>So Knickknack Savant George might be a bit of a sociopath… so what? That's a pretty adaptive trait, considering your circumstances.

>>And all this because you tried to immolate a guy with his own booze, and the AI was feeling generous enough to hook you up with a cheat code ability. >>Maybe ALL CAPS saw a kindred spirit buried under all the confused "I don't know my last name" vibes and flabby couch potato physique. George came around the last bookshelf and faced the portal standing in the opening to the bathroom corridor. Instead of a sterile hallway, he saw what looked to be a well-lit hangar full of vehicles inside the doorway.

>>That's Hell For Leather, the vehicle room. When the nodling passed through, there were no immediate dangers there. George walked through the portal, sending the customary shower of green sparks around his shoulders and onto the hangar floor. Entering Hunting Room: Hell For Leather Ability Notification! Threat Level 1 Knickknack Savant: Level 1 The room was the size of a large warehouse. It had three walls, and the ceiling arced high above in a graceful curve.

Vehicles of all shapes, sizes, and propulsion types lined up in two rows along a central aisle. George could see an extremely strange race track under a bright blue sky in the open space where the fourth wall should have been. The road immediately outside the warehouse was a simple asphalt straightaway, but that is where the racetrack left normalcy behind. George walked to the edge of the hangar and took in the whole scene.

The more distant parts of the track rose high into the air and dipped down like a roller coaster. Some stretches of the track turned into brightly colored, translucent tubes like giant, interconnected gerbil tubes. There was even one place where it looked like the track dipped beneath the surface of a large lake. George tried to trace the path of the racetrack with his eyes, but it was impossible. The track forked and doubled back on itself like a giant road maze that rose hundreds of meters above the ground.

>>Identify, show me the prestige tokens out there. Hundreds of pale lines became visible in George's helmet, stretching from his head to distant places on the track. The course was littered with prestige tokens. >>Jackpot! >>Now, let's boost a ride. George turned around to see a small robot waiting, floating behind him. He flinched and reached for Cassie's sword, but the little robot held up its arms and said in a high-pitched voice, "I mean you no harm."

"I am Pal, the steward of the Hell For Leather room, and I am here to facilitate an enjoyable experience as you choose your Vessel® and begin the Sarsaparilla Delight Dream Track," it said. >>Huh. Not much to the little guy. >>I could take him. The robot was mostly a screen with two arms and large, cartoonish hands that looked like someone had inflated rubber gloves and stuck them on the end of the bot's skinny arms.

It had a flat screen for a head, and everything that it said also appeared in text form on its face screen.

"Come with me," Pal said, then floated toward the vehicles.

"Let's get you ready for the ball, Cinderella!" >>I bet you don't get that reference. >>What else is new? >>I could explain it, but… >>That wouldn't be nearly as fun. >>Oh, hey. One more thing. >>You know how that ability orb description said "jagged time applies"? >>I think I know what that means. >>My round timer is doing funny things. Sometimes it jumps forward a few seconds. Sometimes it stops for ten-ish seconds and then keeps going. >>I think we might have more than the standard hour on our hands.

>>Just saying. I'll keep you posted when we get close to the end of the round. Pal stopped in front of a green circle painted on the ground. He gestured for George to step on the circle.

"The point of the Hell For Leather is to have FUN!" Pal said.

"To get the fun rolling, you get to choose your first Vessel® for FREE. If you'd like to try any other Vessels®, the first will cost you five prestige tokens, the second ten, the third fifteen, and so on. But don't worry. We've scattered so many prestige tokens throughout the track that you'll be able to keep driving and having FUN FOREVER as long as you can find enough tokens. Some of the tokens are harder to find than others, though, but I bet a sharp guy like you will be able to find plenty. Right?"

When he said the last sentence, he put one of his overstuffed hands next to the screen and floated nearer to George as if revealing a secret. One cyclopean eye appeared on his screen and winked at George.

"What if I don't know how to drive," George leaned around Pal and looked down the aisle of vehicles.

"Or… fly a plane."

"That's no problem at all!" Pal said.

"When you choose a Vessel®, you will also receive knowledge that will allow you to drive, ride, burrow, wrangle, fly, or float that Vessel® with a great degree of mastery. If not, it wouldn't be any FUN, would it?"

"So, how do I choose?" George said.

"Easy! Walk down the aisle and let your Identify activate on the Vessels®," Pal said.

"When you are ready to take a ride, just enter the driver's seat or cockpit of the Vessel®, and you'll be off!"

"OK," George said.

"I'll leave you to your selection," Pal said.

"Just remember: Have FUN!"